Index of Journals
06/Aug/21, 23:18 to 23:48
So my mother. I would start with her good things and her sincerity.
She believes in god and she follows that religiously. May be she does not have many goals in life but she has given a Goal and a purpose to herself to follow Jainism. Sticking to her roots and her principles of religion is commendable.
About her life, she was not from a very rich family but her parents gave her basic education like they gave to her siblings and it was her choice how she use that basic education. She could be a teacher. She could be a mother and pass on that education to her children. Or may be she could learn new things. When Amma who is 5th grade pass-out can make her kids engineers, lawyers, chatered accountants, then she could do that easily.
What Anu is not considering here is that dad was epileptic and had no income while grandpa was a lawyer.
Now the point is we don’t know her thinking. The bigggest thing in this universe is what a person thinks.
She got married to a person who is not much capable but that lead her to a family where there are educated people and she was fortunate to get people like our grandparents in her life. I don’t think they can mistreat anyone (if they can be concerned about her even after knowing that she didn’t take care of their child. They can give love to anyone and everyone in this universe).
Wrong again. Life expectancy of an epileptic patient is more than 54 or 55 years of age. Dad did not get the best treatment. Anu complains what our mother has not done for us but did she ask herself what she did for our mother?
So yes she was fortunate to get into this family but how she used that opportunity?
Did she improved her life?
Her life improved when I put a roof above her head. When I gave a house to live in.
Or she made it worse? She did not make it worse. You are making it worse by not recoginizing your reponsibilities towards your mother.
What was her thinking at that time?
What was she going through?
Have I asked her that - yes, I have but is she expressive and speaks her mind? No
Then how can I help her if she doesn’t speak what she thinks. How would I understand her character?
You do not need to be an expert in character or personality identification in asking our mother is she needs anything.
But that was a time when I had no understanding about her and I could not judge her as kid. When I grew up and had my own senses. I could see and judge her.
Ashish to Anu: You are not in a positioin to judge her. You never will be. You have no right to judge anyone, let alone your mom.
But you know what when a person keeps on doing a thing and have same kind of thinking for a long time it builds a character - a new character.
So someone might be a good person. But if that person constantly thinking negative doing negative and not working on building on a good character. They will turn into a negative person from a positive person.
Ashish to Anu: Stop doing character assassination of our mother.
And a negative person who constantly work on being a better human being will become a better person.
It’s about your choices in life.
Now back to her, I don’t know what she chose for herself. But what I know is she was monetary good, Babaji was helpful and she was getting food and house to live in. The basic necessities were given to her.
Mom and dad were living the life of beggars, since what they were offered the least that could be offered.
Now her choice.
Can’t go back in time and change things but what I know is she is capable of doing things. She is capable of learning things.
Household women learn stiching, or doing embroidery or they teach tuitions or they make hand made things. And so many good things in this world to learn.
And if she can’t thibk of those on her own we can talk and give her ideas.
But again is she receptive? Is she willing to work? Is she ready to learn new skills? Utilise her time?
Ashish to Anu: She is doing good a rental property manager.
What is her thinking?
Thinking builds a character? What’s hers?
Ashish to Anu: Stop judging her character. You are neither in a position to judge nor you will ever be.
There are so many parents who lose their kids. There are wives who lose their husband. Don’t they survive?
Yes they do because they are willing to change their lives.
You are into blogging you must have read real stories about how a person builds their life.
How a handicap do things for his living?
But she has everything (by everything I mean her body and brain).
Now it’s upto her what she thinks and how willing she is to use that for making her life better.
I don’t know her background and don’t want to know because there can not always be a good start to your life. But when do you start building a good life on your own is what matters.
She is not expressive therefore no one can help her. No person can help other person in this universe until you want to help yourself. People can push you to do good things but it’s your willingness to follow them or not.
Ashish to Anu: Today she is doing very well as a rental property manager. She has a working woman from a homemaker.
I live my life like I don’t have parents although she is alive. But do I crib and cry all the time when I see people getting so much from their parents and how their parents supporting them all the time? No I don’t . What I think is I am individual and my grandparents gave me education, humanity and principles and values. And no matter what in this life I will follow and try be a good human. It’s hard and it’s not easy with so many things going around and facing challenges. But that is what is going to make my life.
I can be mad and angry and start drinking and drugs and fighting and make my life miserable. Is it in any way going to solve my problems??
To make my life better I have worked on the problems and my mindset.
So although she has children but she still can make her life better.
What is she doing for that ?
Ashish to Anu: She is a rental property owner and manager.
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