1.
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Author: Daniel Kahneman
2.
Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results
Author: Shane Parrish
3.
Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things
Author: Adam Grant
4.
The Art of Thinking Clearly
Author: Rolf Dobelli
5.
The Great Mental Models: General Thinking Concepts
Author: Shane Parrish, Rhiann
6.
Critical thinking
7.
Think Again
Author: Adam Grant
8.
Calling Bullshit: The Art of Scepticism in a Data-Driven World
Author: Jevin D. West, Carl Ber
9.
Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets
Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb
10.
The Art of the Good Life: Clear Thinking for Business and a Better Life
Author: Rolf Dobelli
11.
Algorithms to Live By
Author: Brian Christian, Tom Griffiths, Thomas L. Griffiths
12.
Asking the Right Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking
Author: Stuart M. Keeley, Neil Browne
13.
Being Logical: A Guide to Good Thinking
Author: Dennis Q. McInerny
14.
Fighter pilot
15.
Predictably Irrational
Author: Dan Ariely
16.
Superforecasting
Author: Philip E. Tetlock, Dan
17.
The Black Swan
Author: Nassim Nicholas Taleb
18.
THINK STRAIGHT: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Book by Darius Foroux
19.
Teach your child how to think
Edward de Bono
Your genes are operating beneath the surface of every habit. Indeed, beneath the surface of every behavior. Genes have been shown to influence everything from the number of hours you spend watching television to your likelihood to marry or divorce to your tendency to get addicted to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine. There's a strong genetic component to how obedient or rebellious you are when facing authority, how vulnerable or resistant you are to stressful events, how proactive or reactive you tend to be, and even how captivated or bored you feel during sensory experiences like attending a concert. As Robert Plomin, a behavioral geneticist at King's College in London, told me,
“It is now at the point where we have stopped testing to see if traits have a genetic component because we literally can't find a single one that isn't influenced by our genes.”
Bundled together, your unique cluster of genetic traits predispose you to a particular personality. Your personality is the set of characteristics that is consistent from situation to situation. The most proven scientific analysis of personality traits is known as the “Big Five,” which breaks them down into five spectrums of behavior.
1. Openness to experience: from curious and inventive on one end to cautious and consistent on the other.
2. Conscientiousness: organized and efficient to easygoing and spontaneous.
3. Extroversion: outgoing and energetic to solitary and reserved (you likely know them as extroverts vs. introverts).
4. Agreeableness: friendly and compassionate to challenging and detached.
5. Neuroticism: anxious and sensitive to confident, calm, and stable.
All five characteristics have biological underpinnings. Extroversion, for instance, can be tracked from birth. If scientists play a loud noise in the nursing ward, some babies turn toward it while others turn away.
When the researchers tracked these children through life, they found that the babies who turned toward the noise were more likely to grow up to be extroverts. Those who turned away were more likely to become introverts.
People who are high in agreeableness are kind, considerate, and warm. They also tend to have higher natural oxytocin levels, a hormone that plays an important role in social bonding, increases feelings of trust, and can act as a natural antidepressant. You can easily imagine how someone with more oxytocin might be inclined to build habits like writing thank-you notes or organizing social events.
As a third example, consider neuroticism, which is a personality trait all people possess to various degrees. People who are high in neuroticism tend to be anxious and worry more than others. This trait has been linked to hypersensitivity of the amygdala, the portion of the brain responsible for noticing threats. In other words, people who are more sensitive to negative cues in their environment are more likely to score high in neuroticism.
Our habits are not solely determined by our personalities, but there is no doubt that our genes nudge us in a certain direction. Our deeply rooted preferences make certain behaviors easier for some people than for others. You don't have to apologize for these differences or feel guilty about them, but you do have to work with them. A person who scores lower on conscientiousness, for example, will be less likely to beorderly by nature and may need to rely more heavily on environment design to stick with good habits. (As a reminder for the less conscientious readers among us, environment design is a strategy we discussed in Chapters 6 and 12.)
The takeaway is that you should build habits that work for your personality.* People can get ripped working out like a bodybuilder, but if you prefer rock climbing or cycling or rowing, then shape your exercise habit around your interests. If your friend follows a low-carb diet but you find that low-fat works for you, then more power to you. If you want to read more, don't be embarrassed if you prefer steamy romance novels over nonfiction. Read whatever fascinates you. You don't have to build the habits everyone tells you to build. Choose the habit that best suits you, not the one that is most popular.
There is a version of every habit that can bring you joy and satisfaction. Find it. Habits need to be enjoyable if they are going to stick. This is the core idea behind the 4th Law (Make it satisfying).
How are 'Openness to experience' and 'Conscientiousness' related?
Conscientiousness is doing what you need to do.
Openness to experience is how critical you are to the experience of doing things.
The idea is that you should be both Conscientious and Open to experience means you do what you need to do without thinking too much about how it might feel. You do what you need to do without controlling every aspect of the experience of doing it.
On a side note, you can remember the Big-Five personality traits using acronym: OCEAN.
1. Openness to experience
2. Conscientiousness
3. Extroversion
4. Agreeableness
5. Neuroticism
From 15 min 10 seconds...
Next, we have mistakes, and I know making mistakes is terrifying.
It is really scary, but there's a biological reason behind that.
So that feeling of anxiety and stress you get when you make a mistake, it serves a really important purpose.
So when you make a mistake, what happens is you're releasing neuromodulators like Acetylcholine.
And you're getting increased activity in your focused attention networks.
And that increase in attention and that feeling of anxiety serves a really important purpose.
It's basically saying to us "Hey, you made a mistake. You need to change and do better and become more efficient."
And it's opening up this window for neuroplasticity.
So, whatever happens next, your brain is ready to take in.
Now, if you make a mistake and you feel a bit anxious and you walk away, well:
A: you're not going to learn that thing,
B: well you're actually learning to be less able to cope with failure.
Here's what you should do.
You should set yourself up for a little bit of failure, right?
Quiz yourself on that topic as you go. Don't wait until you're ready.
If you're learning something - for example, soccer - don't just kick it straight at the goal.
Change the angle. Make it more difficult, so you make mistakes.
Don't wait for everything to be perfect before you have a go, because at the end of the day if you make a mistake, you'll be releasing neuromodulators that improve your attention. And if you get it right, you'll be releasing things like dopamine in your reward circuits, which makes you feel good, which makes you feel more motivated and consolidates the learning of the thing that you just did correctly, right?
So that's why turning our learning into a bit of a game can work so well. It's a bit of a win-win situation for our brain either way, right?
So when you make a mistake, you know, don't view that anxiety as a bad thing.
Lean into that feeling and keep going because it's really your brain's way of helping you be your best.
It's helping you be better than the person that you were yesterday.
“Ikigai” is a popular book that delves into the Japanese concept of finding one's purpose in life.
In this article, we will be introducing you to 7 other books that explore similar themes of self-discovery and finding meaning in life.
Whether you're looking to deepen your understanding of ikigai or simply seeking inspiration and guidance on your own personal journey, these books are sure to provide valuable insights and perspective.
So let's dive in.
1. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondō
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is a book by Marie Kondō that outlines a method for decluttering and organizing one's home.
The method, known as the “KonMari Method,” involves going through all of one's possessions and keeping only those items that “spark joy.”
The idea behind the method is that by surrounding oneself with only things that bring joy, one can lead a happier and more fulfilling life.
The book begins by explaining the importance of tidying up and how it can lead to a happier, more organized life.
Kondō then introduces the KonMari Method, which involves gathering all of one's belongings and going through them one category at a time, rather than room by room.
The categories include clothing, books, papers, miscellaneous items, and sentimental items.
As one goes through their possessions, Kondō recommends holding each item and determining whether it brings joy.
If it does, it should be kept; if not, it should be discarded.
Kondō also emphasizes the importance of getting rid of items that no longer serve a purpose or have sentimental value, as these items can weigh us down and hold us back.
In addition to the KonMari Method, the book also covers topics such as organizing and storing items, and the psychological benefits of tidying up.
2. Kaizen: The Japanese Method for Transforming Habits, One Small Step at a Time by Sarah Harvey
Kaizen discusses the Japanese philosophy of continuous improvement and how it can be applied to personal development, including improving habits, overcoming procrastination, and achieving long-term goals.
The book begins by introducing the concept of kaizen and how it is different from traditional Western approaches to personal development, which often focus on achieving radical change through large, drastic steps.
Instead, kaizen encourages small, incremental changes that add up over time to create significant improvement.
The book then discusses the importance of setting goals and creating a plan to achieve them, as well as the importance of tracking progress and making adjustments as needed.
It also covers strategies for overcoming common barriers to change, such as procrastination and self-doubt.
In addition to providing practical advice on implementing kaizen in daily life, the book also discusses the psychological benefits of this approach, such as increased motivation and a sense of accomplishment.
3. The Book of Ichigo Ichie by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles
This title explores the concept of “ichigo ichie,” a Japanese term that translates to “one opportunity, one encounter.”
The book explains how this concept, which is deeply rooted in Japanese culture, can be used to improve relationships and bring more mindfulness and presence to daily life.
The book begins by explaining the origins of the term and how it is connected to the Japanese tea ceremony.
The authors then delve into the various ways that ichigo ichie can be applied to modern life, including in social interactions, business meetings, and even in parenting and family relationships.
Throughout the book, the authors emphasize the importance of being present in each moment and not taking any encounter for granted.
They argue that by approaching each interaction with an open mind and a willingness to truly listen and engage with others, we can create deeper, more meaningful connections and experiences.
In addition to discussing the practical applications of ichigo ichie, the authors also delve into the philosophical and spiritual aspects of the concept.
They discuss the idea of “mu,” or emptiness, and how it relates to the topic, as well as the role of mindfulness and awareness in living a more fulfilling life.
4. Wabi Sabi: Japanese Wisdom for a Perfectly Imperfect Life by Beth Kempton
Wabi Sabi is a book that explores a Japanese aesthetic philosophy that values simplicity, imperfection, and the beauty of natural, aged objects.
The book explains how wabi sabi can be applied to modern life to help individuals find contentment, fulfillment, and a sense of connection with the world around them.
It begins by introducing the concept and its roots in Japanese culture before delving into various principles, including the importance of finding beauty in imperfection, accepting the impermanence of things, and embracing simplicity and minimalism.
Throughout the book, Kempton offers practical advice and exercises for incorporating wabi sabi into daily life, including tips for decluttering and simplifying one's home and lifestyle, as well as ways to cultivate a deeper appreciation for the present moment.
In addition to discussing the practical applications of wabi sabi, the book also explores the spiritual and philosophical aspects of the concept.
Kempton discusses the role of mindfulness and gratitude in living a wabi sabi life, and how this approach can help individuals find a sense of peace and contentment in a fast-paced, modern world.
5. Zen: The Art of Simple Living by Shunmyō Masuno
Zen is written by Shunmyō Masuno, a Zen priest and landscape designer in Japan.
The book begins by introducing Zen and its origins in Buddhist teachings, moving onto the principles of the approach and how they can be applied to modern life to cultivate a sense of peace and fulfillment.
Masuno also discusses the importance of mindfulness, simplicity, and living in the present moment.
In addition to discussing the practical applications of Zen, the book explores the spiritual and philosophical aspects of the tradition.
Masuno covers the role of compassion and self-reflection in the Zen path, and how these practices can help individuals find a sense of peace and contentment in a fast-paced, modern world.
Summary
6. The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness
Book by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi
The Courage to Be Disliked, written by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi, is a philosophical guide inspired by the work of psychologist Alfred Adler. It challenges traditional views on happiness and self-worth, presenting a unique perspective on achieving a fulfilling life.
The book unfolds as a dialogue between a young man grappling with life's uncertainties and a philosopher who introduces him to Adlerian psychology. Here are some key takeaways:
Focus on the Present and Goals: The book emphasizes that the past cannot be changed and dwelling on it hinders happiness. Instead, it encourages focusing on the present moment and setting meaningful goals for the future.
Happiness is a Choice: The book argues that happiness is not something to be achieved through external validation or luck. It's a choice we make by taking responsibility for our thoughts, actions, and how we interpret the world.
Task-Oriented vs. People-Oriented: The book differentiates between task-oriented and people-oriented approaches to life. Task-oriented individuals focus on external validation and pleasing others, while people-oriented individuals find meaning in relationships and contributing to society.
The Courage to Be Disliked: The book's title concept refers to the courage to live authentically and accept potential disapproval from others. It encourages breaking free from the need for external approval and societal expectations.
Through these ideas, The Courage to Be Disliked aims to empower readers to take control of their happiness and build fulfilling lives based on their own values and goals. It challenges readers to break free from self-limiting beliefs and embrace the responsibility of creating their own happiness.
7. Kintsugi: Embrace Your Imperfections and Find Happiness - the Japanese Way
Tomás Navarro, 2018
"Kintsugi: Embrace Your Imperfections and Find Happiness - the Japanese Way" by Tomás Navarro is a self-help book that draws inspiration from the Japanese art of kintsugi, which is the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold, thereby embracing flaws and imperfections as part of the object's history and beauty.
Navarro explores how the principles of kintsugi can be applied to our lives, encouraging readers to embrace their own imperfections and setbacks rather than trying to hide or fix them. By accepting our flaws and vulnerabilities, Navarro argues, we can find greater happiness and fulfillment.
The book offers practical advice and exercises to help readers cultivate self-compassion, resilience, and a positive mindset. Through stories, anecdotes, and insights from Japanese culture, Navarro illustrates how embracing imperfection can lead to personal growth and a deeper sense of well-being.
Overall, "Kintsugi" offers a refreshing perspective on resilience, self-acceptance, and the beauty of imperfection, inviting readers to embrace their own brokenness and find strength and beauty in their journey toward healing and happiness.
~ ~ ~
If you enjoyed “Ikigai” by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles and are looking for more books on the topic, the choices above are where it's at.
If you come across any other good alternatives, be sure to let me know!
Tags: List of Books,Psychology,
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is a combination of two medicines used to treat epilepsy, a neurological disorder in which there are recurrent episodes of seizures or fits. It controls the abnormal activity of the brain, relaxes the nerves and hence, prevents seizures or fits.
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet should be taken with food. Your doctor will decide the correct dose for you. This may increase gradually until your condition is stable. This medicine may take several weeks to work but it is important to take it regularly to get the benefit. Do not stop taking it, even if you feel fine unless your doctor advises you to. You may have more seizures, or your bipolar disorder may get worse.
The most common side effects of this medicine include nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, swelling of gums, headache, sleepiness, tremor, hair loss and liver injury. Most side effects wear off, but if they bother you or do not go away, tell your doctor. There may be ways of preventing or reducing these effects.
Before taking this medicine, tell your doctor if you have kidney or liver problems, meningitis or depression or suicidal thoughts. Also let your doctor know about all other medications you are using as some may affect, or be affected by, this medicine, including contraceptive pills. If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, Valprol -CR 500 Tablet can be taken if it is clearly needed but the dose may be adjusted. You should avoid driving or riding a bicycle if this medicine makes you drowsy or dizzy. You may need frequent blood tests to check how you are responding to this medicine.
You should avoid alcohol while taking Valprol -CR 500 Tablet, as it may worsen certain side effects. This medicine can also lead to weight gain, eat a healthy balanced diet, avoid snacking with high-calorie food, and exercise regularly. Inform your doctor if you develop any unusual changes in mood or behavior, new or worsening depression, or suicidal thoughts or behavior.
Uses of Valprol Tablet CR
Epilepsy
Benefits of Valprol Tablet CR
In Epilepsy
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet slows down electrical signals in the brain which cause seizures (fits). It can also help reduce symptoms such as confusion, uncontrollable jerking movements, loss of awareness, and fear or anxiety. The medicine can allow you to do some activities that you would otherwise be forbidden or scared to do (such as swimming and driving). It can take a few weeks for this medicine to work (because the dose has to be increased slowly) and during this time you may still have seizures. Do not stop using this medicine even if you feel well, until your doctor advises you to. Missing doses may trigger a seizure.
Side effects of Valprol Tablet CR
Most side effects do not require any medical attention and disappear as your body adjusts to the medicine. Consult your doctor if they persist or if you’re worried about them
Common side effects of Valprol
Nausea
Vomiting
Weight gain
Loss of appetite
Gum swelling
Headache
Sleepiness
Tremors
Hair loss
Liver injury
Increased liver enzymes
Bleeding gums
Epigastralgia
Diarrhea
Memory impairment
Decreased sodium level in blood
Anemia (low number of red blood cells)
Thrombocythemia
Pain during periods
How to use Valprol Tablet CR
Take this medicine in the dose and duration as advised by your doctor. Swallow it as a whole. Do not chew, crush or break it. Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is to be taken with food.
How Valprol Tablet CR works
Valprol-CR 500 Tablet is a combination of two antiepileptic medicines: Sodium Valproate and Valproic Acid.
Safety advice
Alcohol
UNSAFE
It is unsafe to consume alcohol with Valprol -CR 500 Tablet.
Pregnancy
CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is unsafe to use during pregnancy as there is definite evidence of risk to the developing baby. However, the doctor may rarely prescribe it in some life-threatening situations if the benefits are more than the potential risks. Please consult your doctor.
Breast feeding
SAFE IF PRESCRIBED
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is safe to use during breastfeeding. Human studies suggest that the drug does not pass into the breastmilk in a significant amount and is not harmful to the baby.
Driving
UNSAFE
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet may decrease alertness, affect your vision or make you feel sleepy and dizzy. Do not drive if these symptoms occur.
Kidney
SAFE IF PRESCRIBED
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is probably safe to use in patients with kidney disease. Limited data available suggests that dose adjustment of Valprol -CR 500 Tablet may not be needed in these patients. Please consult your doctor.
However, talk to your doctor if you have any underlying kidney disease.
Liver
CAUTION
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet should be used with caution in patients with liver disease. Dose adjustment of Valprol -CR 500 Tablet may be needed. Please consult your doctor.
Use of Valprol -CR 500 Tablet is not recommended in patients with severe liver disease and active liver disease.
What if you forget to take Valprol Tablet CR?
If you miss a dose of Valprol -CR 500 Tablet, take it as soon as possible. However, if it is almost time for your next dose, skip the missed dose and go back to your regular schedule. Do not double the dose.
All substitutes
For informational purposes only. Consult a doctor before taking any medicines.
Valprol -CR 500 Tablet
₹9.67/Tablet CR
Valprolex Chrono 500 CR Tablet
Zeelab Pharmacy Pvt Ltd
₹3.42/tablet cr
65% cheaper
Valtec CR 500 Tablet
Cipla Ltd
₹9.07/tablet cr
6% cheaper
Encorate Chrono 500 Tablet CR
Sun Pharmaceutical Industries Ltd
₹9.66/tablet cr
same price
Valparin Chrono 500 Tablet CR
Sanofi India Ltd
₹9.67/tablet cr
same price
Torvate Chrono 500 Tablet CR
Torrent Pharmaceuticals Ltd
₹7.6/tablet cr
21% cheaper
Quick tips
You have been prescribed Valprol - CR 500 Tablet for treatment and prevention of seizures.
Take it at the same time every day to maintain consistent levels in your body.
Do not drive or do anything that requires mental focus until you know how Valprol -CR 500 Tablet affects you.
Avoid consuming alcohol when taking Valprol -CR 500 Tablet, as it may cause excessive sleepiness or drowsiness.
Monitor your weight during the treatment as Valprol -CR 500 Tablet can cause weight gain.
Your doctor may monitor Valprol -CR 500 Tablet level, blood counts and liver function regularly throughout your treatment. Inform your doctor if you develop fever, stomach pain, nausea or yellowing of your eyes or skin.
Do not take Valprol -CR 500 Tablet if you are pregnant or planning to conceive or breastfeeding.
Do not stop taking the medication suddenly without talking to your doctor as it may increase the seizure frequency.
Trust where your writing takes you. You may start with a trauma / emotional upheaval but soon begin writing about other topics. As long as these other topics are emotionally important, follow them. If, however, you find yourself writing about what you would like for dinner — or some other distracting topic — then force yourself back to the trauma / emotional upheaval.
# Write about issues relevant to the here and now.
# Write only about traumas that are present in your mind.
Write only about traumas that are present in your mind.
A remarkable amount of literature deals with repressed memories. The repressed memory literature explores the idea that people have had horrible childhood experiences that they don’t remember — many of which involved childhood sexual abuse. The writing you are doing here focuses on what you are aware of now. If you have no memory of a given childhood experience, why not go with the working assumption that it never happened? After all, you wouldn’t know the difference anyway. Write only about conscious traumas and upheavals. It will save you thousands of dollars in therapy and legal bills.
How Much Time Should You Write?
How frequently to write.
While there is some debate about whether it is better to write for four consecutive days or to separate your writing days, there is nothing conclusive either way.
How long for each session.
In most large-scale studies, people wrote for around twenty minutes on three to four occasions.
How many days to write.
What if you find that you enjoy writing and want to continue past four days? Do it.
Booster-writing sessions
Think of expressive writing as a tool always be at your disposal, or like having medicine in your medicine cabinet. No need to take the medicine when you are healthy, but when you are under the weather, you can always turn to it. Once you have tried writing as a healing agent, try it again when you need to. Also, you might find that in the future, you won’t need to write for four days, twenty minutes a day. Merely writing occasionally when something bothers you might be sufficient.
Writing prescription: To Journal or Not to Journal?
Sometimes a healthcare provider may tell a patient, “You should write about that in a journal,” but that’s as far as the prescription goes. You may wonder, is keeping a daily journal a good idea? Ironically, there is no clear evidence that keeping a daily journal or diary is good for your health, perhaps in part because once people get in the habit of writing every day, they devote less and less time to dealing with important psychological issues. Sometimes a journal can become a worn path with little benefit.
Writing in a journal about the same trauma, using the same words, expressing the same feelings over and over is a bit like the grandmother in Eudora Welty’s story, A Worn Path. The woman in this story travels the same path every year at the same time, seeking medicine for a child who died years before. No medicine will bring back the grandmother’s dead child. Writing in a journal every day about that same issue with the same words in the same way will probably not bring the relief you seek and may actually do more harm than good.
My own experience is that journal writing works best on an as-needed basis as a life-course correction. If your life is going well, you are happy, and are not obsessing about things in the past, why over analyze yourself?
Let it go and enjoy life as it comes. It is safe to say that some future miseries will visit you again. When they happen, do some expressive writing to deal with them.
When Should You Write?
How soon after a Trauma / Emotional Upheaval?
# Recent trauma / emotional upheaval
# Present trauma / emotional upheaval
# Past trauma / emotional upheaval
# Future trauma / emotional upheaval: Is it helpful to write about the eventual death of a loved one? Or a divorce that you know is coming? Or something else in the future? Sure, why not? It’s free. But in your writing, explore why you are having the feelings and how these feelings relate to other issues in your life. Remember that the point of this writing is how we make sense of a troubling experience or event and how we incorporate that experience into the entire story of our lives.
Some Questions To Ponder Over
Is This a Good Time in Your Life to Write?
What’s the Best Time of Day to Write?
Where Should You Write?
What Technology Do You Need to Write?
Think about:
# Creating a unique environment.
# Creating a ritual for writing.
And Finally, The Flip-Out Rule
I hereby declare you ready to begin your expressive writing experience.
But before you start, it is important to review The Flip-Out Rule.
If you feel that writing about a particular topic is too much for you to handle, then do not write about it. If you know that you aren’t ready to address a particularly painful topic, then write about something else. When you are ready, then tackle the other topic. If you feel that you will flip out by writing, don’t write.
When I was growing up in Nepal and northern India in the seventies and eighties, the pace of life was not too fast. Most people felt quite grounded. Our bodies were loose, and we’d sit down for tea at any time. We smiled easily. Of course we faced plenty of challenges, like poverty and lack of opportunity, but stress and speediness were not really part of the picture.
But as these places slowly developed, the pace of life sped up. There were more and more cars on the road, and more people had jobs with deadlines and expectations. Many people had caught a whiff of middle-class life and wanted a piece of it. I noticed people starting to show signs of stress, physically and mentally. They’d fidget more, their legs quivering nervously under the table.
Their gaze was less steady—eyes darting around—and they smiled less freely.
I felt it myself too when I started working on complex projects. I’d started a multiyear initiative to preserve the texts of my lineage, and the project office was across town. I’d wake up and my mind would already be in the office. My feeling world would be hammering me, Go, go, go! Just one swipe with your toothbrush and spit! Just put the whole breakfast in your mouth, chew once, and swallow! You don’t have time for this!
On my drive across town to my office, the Kathmandu traffic was almost unbearable. Just step on the gas! Don’t worry if you bump someone—doesn’t matter! Just get there now! By the time I walked into the office, I’d feel burned- out already. I’d quickly everyone, not slowing down and taking the time to really check in. I’d want to get out of there as soon as I could.
Ducking out, I’d go somewhere, anywhere—like a coffee shop. Sitting there with nothing particular to do, I’d want to calm down but still felt anxious and restless. My whole being felt like a big buzzy lump—my body, feelings, and mind were all stressed for no reason.
But one day I decided to challenge myself. I would start to respect my body’s speed limit, its natural speed, instead of listening to the stubborn, distorted speedy energy. I said to myself, I will just do everything normally, at the right pace. Whenever I reach my office, I reach my office. I won’t let the restless energy push me.
I went through my morning relaxed, moving at a pace that suited me. I stretched in bed before getting up. I brushed my teeth properly, taking enough time to do it right. When the speedy energy tried to push me—Go faster, get there now! Grab something for breakfast and eat it in the car!—I didn’t listen.
I was respecting my body’s speed limit. Sitting down for breakfast, I chewed properly, tasting my meal. I drove at the appropriate speed, without a sense of rush. I even enjoyed the drive. Whenever the speedy energy told me to go faster —Just get there—I smiled and shook my head. In the end, I reached my office almost at the same time as before.
Walking in, I felt fresh and relaxed. The office seemed calmer and more beautiful than I remembered. I sat down and drank tea with my staff, looking each of them in the eyes and really checking in. There was no urge to leave.
Finding Our Ground
I’d like to start from the ground up. In my tradition we like building things— temples, nunneries, monasteries, stupas. Maybe it’s a compensation for our nomadic roots. In any case, our metaphors often involve construction. As any builder knows, it’s important to have a solid foundation to build on. For meditation, it’s also important to have a healthy, solid foundation to begin with.
The raw material is our bodies, minds, and feelings. We’re working with our thoughts and emotions—our happiness and sadness, our challenges and struggles. In the case of meditation, a solid foundation means we’re grounded, we’re present, we’re connected. These days, for many reasons, this can be quite tough. So I like to start my own practice, and the practice of my students, with a grounding exercise: a way to find the body, land in the body, connect to the body. The busyness of our thinking minds is seemingly endless and often leaves us feeling anxious, tired, and ungrounded. So this approach is to cut through the whirling thoughts, to bring awareness back into the body, and to just be there for a while. We are reconnecting our minds and our bodies, finding our ground.
The Technique of Dropping
Dropping is not so much a meditation as a way to temporarily cut through the tension-building stream of constant thinking, worrying, and speediness. It allows us to land in the present moment, in a grounded and embodied way. It gets us ready for meditation.
In dropping you do three things at the same time:
1. Raise your arms and then let your hands drop onto your thighs.
2. Exhale a loud, big breath.
3. Drop your awareness from thinking into what your body feels.
Learning to Relax
Relaxation is a funny thing. We all want it, but actually doing it is surprisingly difficult. We often think of relaxing as the opposite of being alert. Being alert and aware is our “on mode” where we get things done, while relaxing is a way to switch off and dim our systems down.
When we think about relaxing we might see ourselves collapsing into a couch with a remote control and becoming mindless. This relaxing into dullness gives some temporary relief but doesn’t help the root cause of the stress. The stress lingers underneath, and we end up not feeling as refreshed as we’d hoped. Dropping is a different approach to relaxing. It’s a deeper, inner relaxing, connected to our bodies and feelings, not trying to escape from them and relax somewhere else. Rather than cultivating a dull state as an antidote to stress, we are learning how to relax with awareness and address the root cause of this imbalance where we live lost in our thoughts.
For many beginners in meditation, worrisome thoughts can feel like an unconquerable obstacle—we often hear from people just starting to practice some version of “My mind is out of control. I can’t do this!” Dropping targets this universal predicament: our thoughts keep going and can overwhelm our practice.
Dropping gives us a way to clear our mind, if only for moments, so we can start again from a grounded, embodied place. Dropping breaks the tension- building stream of constant thinking, worrying, and speediness and readies us for every other meditation practice, so we begin with that.
Try These Drop-It-All Mantras
It can be helpful sometimes to use a mantra—a phrase you repeat silently to yourself —while doing this dropping practice. There are two mantras I like to use; try them each to see which works best for you. Here’s the first one: Just after your hands hit your lap, say this mantra silently to yourself, or in a whisper, over and over: “So what! Who cares? No big deal.”
This sends a message to our anxious, worrying minds. It’s a reminder to the part of our minds that cares too much—that holds everything a bit too tightly. Of course caring to the right degree is good and important, but it’s too often mixed with extra anxiety and becomes neurotic over-concern. So this mantra is an antidote for all that.
You can also try this one: “Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn’t happen, doesn’t happen.”
You can repeat this one over and over inside your mind, or try whispering it to yourself if that’s helpful.
This message reminds us to be with the flow of experience, instead of trying to control everything. Even though we know this intellectually, we need to remind our feeling bodies. That’s where the speediness is held; that’s where the stress accumulates. These mantras have another purpose, to strengthen communication between our cognitive minds and our feeling bodies. As we’ll explore in the next technique, this relationship can often be strained—and this can cause problems.
