Explaining political ideologies with an example of two cows (Also a Joke)

SOCIALISM: You have two cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows, the government takes both and gives you milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows, the government takes both and sells you milk.

NAZISM: You have two cows, the government takes them and kills you.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a male. You multiply your cows and there is economic growth. You sell them, you retire and you live on your profits.

MODERN CAPITALISM: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a male. You multiply your cows and you buy those of your neighbors. The latter become your shepherds, you pay them in monkey currencies and they die poor.

AMERICAN SOCIETY: You have two cows, you sell one and you have to make the other one to produce milk like 4 cows. By dint of producing beyond her capacity, she dies. You take a consultant to understand this death.

FRENCH SOCIETY: You have two cows, you go on strike because you want a third.

GERMAN SOCIETY: You have two cows, you modify them so that they live 100 years, eat once a month and treat themselves.

CHINESE SOCIETY: You have two cows, you sell milk to your compatriots and you produce plastic milk to export to the rest of the world.

AFRICAN SOCIETY: You have two cows, you eat them all the same day and you dream that donors or the international community give you others. You go to a church and hope for miracle cattle. You fast 40 days and 40 nights without eating or drinking so that the cows will fall from Heaven. At last You die in extreme poverty. 
Mind set is paramount.
    

Tags: Joke,Politics,

The Soviet Cauldron (Joke)

There is an old Soviet joke. An American dies and goes to hell. Satan himself shows him around. They pass a large cauldron. The American peers in. It’s full of suffering souls, burning in hot pitch. As they struggle to leave the pot, low-ranking devils, sitting on the rim, pitchfork them back in. The American is properly shocked. Satan says, “That’s where we put sinful Englishmen.” 

The tour continues. Soon the duo approaches a second cauldron. It’s slightly larger, and slightly hotter. The American peers in. It is also full of suffering souls, all wearing berets. Devils are pitchforking wouldbe escapees back into this cauldron, as well. “That’s where we put sinful Frenchmen,” Satan says. 

In the distance is a third cauldron. It’s much bigger, and is glowing, white hot. The American can barely get near it. Nonetheless, at Satan’s insistence, he approaches it and peers in. It is absolutely packed with souls, barely visible, under the surface of the boiling liquid. Now and then, however, one clambers out of the pitch and desperately reaches for the rim. Oddly, there are no devils sitting on the edge of this giant pot, but the clamberer disappears back under the surface anyway. 

The American asks, “Why are there no demons here to keep everyone from escaping?” Satan replies, “This is where we put the Russians. If one tries to escape, the others pull him back in.”


The Joke is About: Gulag in Soviet Union

The Gulag was a system of Soviet labour camps and accompanying detention and transit camps and prisons. From the 1920s to the mid-1950s it housed political prisoners and criminals of the Soviet Union. At its height, the Gulag imprisoned millions of people.
Key People: Aleksandr Isayevich Solzhenitsyn
Date: 1930 - 1955
Related Places: Russia Soviet Union

Tags: Joke,Management,Politics,

Lesbian and Bhudhist monk arrive at the heaven... (Joke and a Lesson)

    
During a trip to US only a couple months before the U.S. Supreme Court made its landmark ruling legalizing gay marriage, the Bhudhist monk had famously had said that he would refuse to go to a “homophobic” heaven.

Now a Christian Archbishop asks:

“Okay. As I was saying, do you really think that when — I didn’t say if; I said when — the Dalai Lama arrives in heaven, that God will say, ‘Oh, Dalai Lama, you’ve been so wonderful. What a pity you are not a Christian and supporter of LGBTQ community. You’ll have to go to the warmer place.’ Everybody sees just how entirely ridiculous it is.” 

- - - 

Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. 644 (2015) is a landmark civil rights case in which the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Tags: Joke

Patience (Joke and Lesson)

I was 25. Years, not Kilograms. Looking for bride.
Now my family puts up a lot of conditions of the selection of the girl. As follows:

At 25: Jain girl with Jain diet

I turned 26 with no match found. Now my family reduces constraints.

26: Find a Jain girl.

I turned 27 with no match found. My family reduces the constraints further.

27: Find a Jain or Gupta girl.

I turned 28 with no match found. My family reduces the constraints further.

28: Just a vegetarian girl would be fine.

I turned 29 with no luck yet in finding a girl. My family reduces constraints further.

29: My family says unemployed girl would also do fine.

My friend Sandeep tells me that wait for 5 more years and they would agree to a girl who does smack and coke.

Patience is the key ingredient to successful execution of any plan.

Journal,Joke,

Ten Suggestions (a lesson and a joke)

    
“I’ve got some good news... and I’ve got some bad news,” the lawgiver yells to them.
“Which do you want first?”

“The good news!” the hedonists reply.

“I got Him from fifteen commandments down to ten!”

“Hallelujah!” cries the unruly crowd. “And the bad?”

“Adultery is still in.”

- - -

The Hedonists think: Why should we be judged according to another’s rule?

And yet judged we are. 

After all, God didn’t give Moses “The Ten Suggestions,” he gave Commandments; and if I’m a free agent, my first reaction to a command might just be that nobody, not even God, tells me what to do. 

Even if it’s good for me.

Tags: Behavioral Science,Communication Skills,Emotional Intelligence,Politics,Psychology,Joke