2011-Mar-19

March 19, 2011
I was in the balcony last evening. Hardik knew I was there. I had seen him too, but neither of us bothered to give a look. He was with his mother and that was probably the reason. Otherwise, maybe he has gained attitude over time. No, that’s, of course, not my problem. It did feel bad though. I didn’t call him because I don’t want to make any memories. I am already fighting the old ones. I was cool. Today, in the morning I saw him again. I saw from the window that he was talking to Vishwas. I wanted to go out and say them a ‘hi’ but then I controlled my feelings. He too needs to make new friends so that he can easily let me go and get lost. And, I most of the times, since many months, have hated him, he is not of my type, this decade old friendship has come closer to end.

I had two dreams of me last night, me killing Prashant in my first dream, and in the second I dreamt of Anshu ma’am. When I woke up I was still thinking about the dream, but then I had to give it way off. Anshu ma’am is a bitch in real, immature street walker. Or maybe, my way of approaching her was wrong. The Delhi was in such a social scenario, it still is.

In the afternoon, mamiji and Kartik were here. Not much about them.

The day was basically slow, and I was not able to do much with the books either. I sit on bed whole time long, and I then don’t even understand if the fatigue is in the legs due to sitting in bed for long, or in me due to studying for long. With no tension of money I think I can log on to my profiles using my phone. I logged onto Facebook, and also wished Smita for Holi.
It was perigee today, a thing that happens in every 18 years. I saw the moon from terrace and my eyes did find it a little bigger.
I felt like writing down a lot of my history today but then who has that much of time. 
God bless me
Ashish