Index of Journals
February 21, 2011 I feel like killing at that moment... I would be trying hard not to think about it but then the people just make it impossible themselves. I would think of all the pains I went through during just one day and my breathing would go fast as possible. I would look at the face of this sleeping animal in the middle of the night. That would just catalyze the growing anger and heartbeat... eyes on the verge shedding blood... face on the verge of pulling a scream... but then I am just Ashish and things would get normal after one moment of hype, feels like I’ve mastered to control anger... I reached there only by 1200 and Dinesh was asking me why I was so early. Around 1230 I went to Net lab and there the teacher did not let me sit since it was not the time for second year students. Not even a single system was getting used and this woman had to tell me ‘no’ with the reason that if one student comes, the other student comes. I am never bringing any student with me. I just went easy to try to make her understand but she was not going to listen. In addition, I did not intend to be in another scandal so I went away quietly. Last period was of CS (Communication Systems), Apurv, Rizwan, Faizan, Gaurav ran from the benches near the back door. They made me pass the metallic nameplate, and I had to do it when the teacher was now seeing why I was roaming at the back of the class. The whole class feels shitty these days, it has been an-year-and-half, and still I am trying to look for friends over here. Well, my search will never end until I do not start spending big bucks out in the middle of everyone! I sat in the open auditorium to study in the cold and windy environment. I can barely think of myself getting to study in proper environment. It is surprising the kind of people who speak English today. There was a boy and a girl sitting in the auditorium and I just went to them to ask them the date of first terminal of second semester. They were in first year; I knew this. I had spoken in Hindi and then he talks back in English to tell me the date and ask me my branch. I was surprised for a second to see him had the first-take to speak in English. The other day, I was surprised to see Roshan speak English at very fast speed. God only knows how they do it. Now, I thought of myself talking to the principal in English when first time I had been to her office in first semester for, of course, wrong reasons (to complain actually). God Bless ‘Me’ Ashish
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