Index of Journals
February 20, 2011 20th Feb, exams are just a week away. This is going to be crazy again as I have already started to mess up my relations with the teacher. You can be avoiding them but it’s not that easy to get a similar response from them. I am talking about Swarnlata ma’am. Whenever I think of starting Software Engineering, I get to think of her, which is so irrelevant. It’s like ‘I am reading the subject to impress that woman’. No, I’m not. It somehow happened that I was lost in my thoughts during the attendance on a day last week. It happened again yesterday and students created a fuss to catch my attention. I had to call my roll number back and then the teacher instead of marking me ‘present’ she marked my name in the record. That was crazy enough to make me produce wrong thoughts about her. I had been thinking of forming a club (I got the inspiration from the movie ‘Social Network’ which I’ve seen about four times and now I’m also reading the book, ‘Accidental Billionaires’ on which the movie is based) to take the management of college into their hands, to go against teachers, and everything. The thoughts come again and over again whenever I get to confront a teacher. Swarnlata ma’am was all over my mind this time. I get temptations of talking about this to Apurva and sometimes Aditya. I called him at 20:25 out of utter availability of time. We talked for about five minutes and then he said we couldn’t be discussing such a topic on phone. Well, it was my first time that I was putting this plan before someone and then I was hesitating in expressing some of my very strict views. One such thought was of ‘well spoken English’, I didn’t share that thought. Then, I wasn’t sure about his take on the matter. Then he postponed the discussion to time when we meet in college during the exams, I postponed it the time after the exams are over. We agreed on that. Last night I couldn’t wake up because I wasn’t expecting Prashant to be awake with lights on and it just made me lazy. Therefore, I slept over until 0630 in the morning. I informally asked amma and babaji of a laptop and I got the answer to concentrate and live with what ‘they’ have already given. She is so unrealistic. Anu was there and she spoke to find comedy in the situation. What does she have to do with me going to Tri Nagar or anywhere else in the world? These people are better dead! Chachi made dosa(s) for breakfast in the afternoon. I had made plans to do too much today but as always plans were not even forty percent closer. In the morning, Prashant was sleeping until late nine and chachi was coming repeatedly to leave the door opened with TV running outside on high volume. F*ck it; f*ck them all. I watched ‘Social Network’ the fifth time today. It was still fun and inspiration. I was studying after that and we had dosa(s) again around five. I was sleeping for two hours after this and then when I was awake I took the books back. Prashant is so much pain in the ass, he was constantly making by clearing his throat to make irrelevant noise. I cannot stand it, I just think the same thoughts I think almost everyday and every night and again. I am still a human being, why am I in the situation I do not deserve to be? I had thought I would not be listening to music this often but then this asshole just got me out of my mind to do the irrelevant. I have been listening to the rap music since an hour now. Now I should better get back. God Bless ‘Me’ Ashish
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