2011-Mar-13

March 13, 2011

I had to go to bed early last night. After such a terribly creepy day my head felt extremely heavy. Sometimes I just want to shut down my thought-processing system because all I have in any life are problems, problems from all angles, from the people I‘ve ever known. I characterize my contacts in divisions, first, people I was bad with, second, people who were bad with me. 

I had set the alarm for 4am but it didn’t happen like I was anticipating. So the day had a nice and comfortable start. At the dining table during breakfast, I asked if babaji could give one or two thousand above 15. And he said he could give twenty, right at the moment fresh in my hand. I didn’t know how to react to that but I was feeling good after hearing this. 

I was studying the first chapter of ADA in the morning and it didn’t finish before evening. I was skeptical about my pace and flow at studies. It was reasonable. I want be through with every topic and that demands time. Now that I am finally buying a computer I don’t have to save money as bad as hell. I can slow down for a while, relax and try to settle down scores. Life at college has been a mess, real dang shit, because of me being there every single day and doing extra time making everyone at college go uncomfortable and mad, especially buxom women, including all. I am thinking trying to settle at home for at least a month now because exam time for Prashant are near and he should be busy with himself henceforth. It should be easy, let’s just hope for the best. 

Smita is a jerk, she wanted me to ask specific questions instead of an informal question like “what are the developments going on around you?” As if I am really interested in talking to her.

When I see babaji sleeping in bed out of time, it feels like a race is going on between him and me, who’s going to leave this place first?
God bless me
Ashish