Index of Journals
February 23, 2011 I woke up at around 0330 in the morning and some how held myself up by four to study. However, in the morning things went wrong as amma come around seven to taunt me for not getting up for college. I did not know how to react to that. She pulled up the issue because I had casually said seven when last night she had asked me for the time when I will be leaving for college. I had gone mad to taking deep breaths again. May be I was lacking sleep, I thought. Therefore, I went to bed again and woke up at nine. Around ten-thirty, amma had returned from temple and she, standing at the door she had just slammed open, again asked if was going to the college or not. It is not what was disturbing but her tone was. I thought, "She is better dead." I left for college in a very bad mood. Exams are just five days away and then this time waste. I wanted to cry but, huh, I just walked to the bus stop and reached college by 1300. I started with the eleventh chapter of ‘Accidental Billionaires’ and continued Software Engineering after that. At 1900, I left library as the library-keeper had shut all the lights except for the rest rooms. I reached home by 2030 and as I enter, babaji calls me to himself. He had given me nine missed calls, other than the two from amma. I did not know that, my phone is always on silent mode. I still remember how I had first matched eyes with the HOD of CSE department. He had looked back at me while walking past the greens. HE had looked at me as if he was reading my face the second time, trying to seek some answers, or may be trying to store it in his memory. I just calmly kept the eyes still, I thought I shout wish him but then his look was disgusting. You never give a look so intrusively for the first time. I thought, “I know that he is HOD but does he know who I am? Nope, so what is the point of wishing unnecessarily?” Course is vast and time is less... God Bless ‘Me’ Ashish
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