2011-Jun-16

Index of Journals

June 16, 2011
We returned from Tijara today. I wasn’t feeling against it unlike Srishti and others who wanted to stay until evening. Babaji made the decision to move and we others had to. I woke up a little late; I hadn’t slept nicely the previous night because of the fear of the big and ugly spider that was hanging from the wall near my pillow. It was really sick to sleep with a fucking spider over your head whole time. Ankur had tried to wake me and I just rudely told him not to disturb me and to mind his own business. I didn’t feel about it until now but now that I am recollecting it is hurting me. 
Those people who manage the temple idols during the morning ceremony (or prakshal) act very rude to people, no matter who he is. When I went for prakshal at the main idol the man asked if the cloth I was wearing was of this place. What kind of question was that? On the other idol (on the left one), I was walking before babaji and Prashant accidentally. I had been taunted just a second before for not paying enough attention while walking through the people in the way by the priest. He used the same ugly tone for babaji and Prashant had him after this for a second. The priest didn’t stand there any longer until we had gone to the next idol. The priest actually needed it.
After puja we had breakfast. Babaji had been very polite with the old man who sold him milk. Today he had lifted his shop early and when babaji mistakenly sat on the milk shop next to his actual shop inside, babaji had to apologize for this happening. The face of that old man was very sad, because two milk shops can’t run together in one place side by side. The other shop, on which we sat, had advantage of being second from the end.
We went to our rooms and laid there to rest until we are signaled to go by any of the adults. I finished reading ‘Accidental billionaires’ by Mezrich Ben. It still felt good to read through the lives of Facebook makers. I was reading and reading and reading. People continued to do their own things, amma, Srishti, Shruti brought pakode to the room and we had banana chips already, this made up for the breakfast. While everyone was preparing to go, I was still reading the book. I got up around 0945 and pulled up pants. I had my things in my bag and now I just had to take it on my shoulder. I went to the other room and badi buaji shouted (in her usual tone), “Take one bag from one of these six and don’t make me remind you of this until we reach Delhi”. I took the black bag full of clothes, as it didn’t have anything that anyone might feel concerned about. The blue-green bag had shopped items in it. Prashant and I took the bed foams to the reception, Ankur was already there checking us out. Then we made a second round to help Shruti and badi buaji bring the bags down. After we collected in the reception, other six left for last prayer, arti with Shruti and me taking care of the things. Shruti left after a second and then I also went inside. It was Srishti who saw me first and soon all of them had given me a look one by one ignorantly. I got with babaji and stayed calm. I found the situation a little funny actually. I was smiling though no one else was. I had to do a lot of work in keeping this smile hidden.
Badi buaji was not very happy but she didn’t say anything. After arti we collected in the reception and were waiting for babaji who had gone to toilet, and amma was the escort. We were soon sitting in the car and were still waiting for it to get loaded with two more people. That sounded crazy to us. We didn’t have to wait to get to the bus, the bus came in our way and we just switched from car to bus. There was no seat available but there was going to be seat soon. I stood at the end and there was a woman who had a child with her. She was ugly as a hag in some fairy tale but still I had to give her a look when she was breastfeeding her child. I tried real hard to not think of woman while travelling and I was promising myself that I will not be a loser from now on. The hag fell asleep in the bus and left her stop behind before awakening again. There was a guy who was travelling with us in the crowded bus and he stood before Shruti and Srishti. Amma and badi buaji helped Srishti and Shruti get a seat early but I had to wait. That guy didn’t but that other man did, because he was closer. I too got a seat soon, first at the back and then with Srishti and Shruti after a little wait. That guy sat on my left on a seat ahead in the other row and Srishti and Shruti sat on my right in the respective order. Srishti started about Baba Ramdev being a negative personality, she continued saying it and just didn’t stop her though I was against. I wanted to know how much she knew. Shruti had turned her face at the beginning of the conversation and she was just now avoiding more and more. She had started to look uncomfortable even. Srishti soon stopped after she was left nothing else to say about Ramdev. That was the last conversation I had with her. She has been pretty easy with me since the day I returned, not bad. I took out DS book when bus started to move after short break. Ankur had brought biscuits then. There came a woman beggar (after a male) to ask for money, Prashant, Ankur and Shruti were finding it funny to joke with her by offering her biscuits. It is Prashant basically who is immature, Shruti was just giving way to his stupidity. I couldn’t resist and said ‘all of you are idiots’ Shruti couldn’t reason it and was for the first time acting bend down. Otherwise she has always been treating me like dirt. We fell asleep soon after and were awake only when we had reached closer to Delhi border. It was the last stop, Sarai Kale Khan soon and we got down. In those few minutes of wait Srishti never shut up. She kept whining for auto ride to home. I stood without a word from my mouth. Chachi found her way out to reach us after travelling long way around the bus stop. There was no direct road here so it was long. We packed into the car like how we had on the day of departure, nine people in one car. We got home and while Ankur and Prashant bathed I didn’t. I just washed my face and poured deodorant talc. Adults were talking about the DU cut-offs and where Shruti might get admission from the colleges listed in the newspaper. I checked my phone and there were five SMS’s. I was taken aback, of those two were from Vibha and two from non-vegan jokes website. Vibha wanted me contact Ankit sir because I hadn’t submitted a form to him due to which I wasn’t listed for summer training. I called Ankit sir and learned that we had to submit a form to him to let him know our choice of subject for summer training. I will have to go college tomorrow before two.
I put my things back into place and open the laptop to write down for two days. Before leaving, badi buaji told to go to temple but I had to go to temple and Shruti responded on this that she had already told her that I won’t. I slept until seven and responded to Vibha’s message only then. She had texted around six. I didn’t want to talk actually; she can't act bossy all the time. 
God bless me
Ashish