Before I start on this post, let me first clarify that there is nothing happening to me or to people close to me that requires a talk on such a grave topic.
And if I were to tell you (which I will in a bit) what actually triggered me to pick this topic, you would be like “I'm making a mountain out of a molehill”.
Have you ever thought or paid attention to how trivial we think of it to have correct details on our ID cards like Aadhaar or PAN maybe?
I haven't checked the exact details about the case that I am going to share but at a high level it goes like:
A girl about 7 or 9 years old is out of school at the NGO I go to teach at. And the reason I got from the instructor there was that she had some errors (Plural) in her Aadhaar card.
Her name was written as “Baby of Anita” – not her actual name. Her date of birth was incorrect. And her parents' names were put incorrectly in Aadhaar.
These details are not matching her birth certificate.
Because of this, she is not able to get admission in any school.
I tried to assist this girl and the instructor by giving them the details of people in my contacts who do Aadhaar Update as a profession but it was of not much use as I was anticipating. I tried to talk to Dhirendra ji in my society and he said he will provide me a number to call.
I doubt if it will be of any help to the girl or just another dead end.
I am basically out of words to express myself about what other consequences lie waiting for this girl ahead.
As I write this today, you have no idea how grateful I feel for my grandfather and my chachaji (younger brother of my father) – just for the proper documentation of my details!
~~~
Other things that I had in mind which we take for granted are the usual: air and water, simple acts of breathing and walking, ability to taste food, ability to see, etc.
The reason I see these things with such importance today is because I have been thinking about death lately. Thinking about death as a way to refocus and reprioritize my activities and life. And as I had some cough and cold today, I thought about what it must be like for people who are not even able to breathe properly.
From there my attention spiralled to other senses, and simple acts like walking, eating, being able to talk to people we have valued in our lives – and whom you could still talk to (for me, I was thinking of my grandmother).
~~~
And all of this also goes for essentials like: electricity, shelter and schooling – all of which I thought my caregivers owed me. I was wrong – I got them through the conscious choice of my grandparents.
It requires a bit of awareness, a bit of gratitude, a bit of appreciation to rise above the auto-pilot mode of living, above the daily rut of our lives and see, appreciate and feel thankful for what we have – rather than complaining about what we have not.
I guess that's all for today!
My message to anyone reading this would be:
Consider the things you take most for granted, the simplest of simple things – those actually might be the things which make life worth living!
Good morning!
In my 13 years of experience, I have worked under a lot of managers. To keep this post manageable for me to write and for the readers to read, I am going to stick to a few of those managers (and sometimes to their qualities, rather than to them as a person).
Let’s me start with my first manager, Deepika Saxena.
I was there at the NetEdge Computing in Noida for internship, and I wasn’t doing exactly well with the Android app that I was building. So one bright sunny day, around 10, 10.30, Deepika called me into the conference room. She sat on one side of the oval table and I sat on the other, but not facing each other, and like 1 or 2 chairs away.
Now she said something on these lines: “...We at NetEdge look for a few qualities in a person when we hire him or her and so do every other company. And let me tell you that you do have those qualities in you…” And she went on with that conversation, asking questions normally about work, about my college, education, my interests, family, health and other things.
The qualities that she mentioned were:
- Attitude: maintain a positive attitude towards work expected from you, and people you work with
- Competency: This is the most visible and reported quality in corporate world
- General Intelligence: Not everyone can know everything all the time, but you could cultivate the basic ingredient that makes you knowledgeable and that ingredient is general intelligence
- Commitment: Companies and managers like to hire people they see long term future with
- Humility: Deepika used to say a phrase to people and it was “There is always going to be some person better than you...”
~~~
One observation I had that’s work related from my time at NetEdge Computing (under Deepika) and at Magic Software (under Vikas Kumar Gupta) was that:
“In POCs and Projects with research like goals, you got to come back fast with response and development to a task / ask / or query – a little bit late and your manager or your client or your company may start to lose interest and start questioning the requirement itself.”
Thanks for reading!
Stay tuned!
Dated: 2026-Apr-15, 9AM
This is a debatable post – reason being: I am not in touch with any of the people about whom this post is.
People very often have asked me “who my friends are?”
And I have fallen short of an answer for most of the recent years – my list would be like one or two people long.
For my years (2018-2022) in Chandigarh at Infosys, it was Anil Dahiya. He was like my friend, mentor, emotional support, my go-to person for most things but then he moved to the US from the Ford project and I moved to Delhi. I think I last met / hung out with him in 2021.
Well, I am happy as I am writing about Anil, otherwise I didn’t have him in mind when I was thinking of this post: I was thinking about Rohit Sud, Vikas Jain and Yajuvendra Gupta instead.
And so now I will make this post about four people instead of three.
Anil is like an idol to me, my role model.
I admire him most for his strength to face the painful, life-altering disease of Ankylosing Spondylitis. And I regret writing this because he had told me last time (in 2021-2022ish) that he doesn’t want the world (friends, family or at work place) to know that he has this illness because Anil doesn’t want their pity, he wants their respect.
In my hindsight from my time in Chandigarh, I only remember being friends with two people: Anil Dahiya and Rohit Sud (though Rohit had quit Infosys in Nov 2019 in about 1 year and 8 months to move back to Delhi – but I was in touch with him on calls – The only person I used to call).
The thing about Anil and Rohit is this: They both teach you the philosophy of YOLO (You Only Live Once) – though neither of them have done anything for their own guilty pleasures / mischievous things that I am aware of. They both maintained a very clear, clean and disciplined image in my eyes – partly the reason why I adore them so much.
They didn’t share their difficulties with me and in contrast, they guided me through my tough times.
~~~
I came to know Vikas and Yajuvendra from my past workplaces. Vikas from Webplant and Yajuvendra from Mobileum. So they are both known to me for over 10+ years.
What Vikas and Yajuvendra teach me isn’t YOLO precisely but both of their lives do teach things on similar lines.
Vikas and Yajuvendra believed in enjoying what they did – otherwise (with a very high chance) they would stop doing it (eventually if not immediately).
One of their qualities that has definitely rubbed on me is: straightforwardedness (which I realized lately is also a Jain tenet practiced in Daslakshan days).
They express themselves so clearly, in such simple words that it would be understandable even to a five year old.
They are both hard working and look after their families (wife and children – Yaju has two (now) grown-up boys and Vikas has a daughter, Shivanshi who might have entered school) as responsible people.
One very contrasting thing about Vikas and Yajuvendra is how they see money: Vikas is definitely money-hungry, while Yaju practices contentment. And this reflects very clearly in their interactions with others.
Religiously and community-wise also I am able to connect with them: Vikas is Digambar Jain, and Yaju (though not Jain) is a Baniya (same as Jains 😀)
~~~
PS:
All four are senior to me years, age and experience wise.
All four are married.
Three also have got kids – Rohit is yet to get there.
And I am a 34 years old bachelor.
Dated: 2026 Apr 10, 7.30 AM
Grandpa's birthday falls on 12th of June, and he turned 83 in 2012. He was born in 1928. Amma tells her age to be 7-8 years younger than him. Her UIDAI card has the year 1936.
Level 1:
Lalu None Rai (grandpa tells "all that he used to do was sit at the temple, next to the entrance to the main central hall")
Level 2: Ganwar Lal
Level 3:
3.1. Ugrasen Jain, he was the eldest of the three brothers. He had done BA, LLB.
3.2. Phool Chand Jain
Phool Chand Jain was grandpa's father. He passed away in 1978.
3.3. Maksoodan Lal. He was the youngest of the three.
HOMETOWN: Gohana (near Sonepat), Haryana
Son: Vinod Jain
Hem Chand Jain sold his part of the property (backyard and some neighboring portions) from the Haveli in Gohana to Vinod Jain.
Amma tells: Phool Chand Jain had asked your grandfather and Hem Chand Jain for their expectations from him as in "bol tu kya lega?". Grandfather said he does not want anything. Hem Chand Jain asked for backyard from the property.
Level 4:
4.1. Digamber Prasad Jain. He was the eldest in two brothers. He was elder by an year.
Studied BA, LLB (Civil), and later went to Tis Hazari Court, Delhi.
4.2. Hem Chand Jain [Lives in Tri Nagar, Delhi, India]
Phool Chand Jain had set up the house in Tri Nagar around the time of 1958, and grandpa and Hem Chand Jain settled here in Tri Nagar around then.
About Gohana
Gohana is a sub-division/tehsil, a town and a municipal committee in Sonipat district in the Indian state of Haryana.
Geography: Gohana is located at 29.13°N 76.7°E. It has an average elevation of 225 meters (738 feet).
Demographics: Gohana town is situated in Sonipat district of Haryana. It is a main sub-division of more than 300,000 populations now in year 2011, has its own municipality and a constituency for Haryana Vidhan Sabha. Villages in Gohana (Subdivision) are around 86.It is located in west from District Sonipat. From the district, its distance is 40 km. Earlier it was part of Rohtak district. [Ref: May 20, 2021 (Wikipedia)]
~ ~ ~
Gohana is a city and a municipal council, near Sonipat city in the Sonipat district of the Indian state of Haryana.
Gohana city is situated in the Sonipat district of Haryana. It is the main subdivision with a population of more than 300,000 (as of 2011). It has its own municipality and a constituency for Haryana Vidhan Sabha. There are around 86 Villages in Gohana. [Ref: Wikipedia, 2022-Oct-4]
Level 5:
Babaji's mother was a native of Sonepat, Haryana. Babaji's parents had lived in Gohana, Haryana.
Grandma's family lived in BADSHAHPUR (near Gurgaon), Haryana. Amma was ten when her family moved to Delhi in around 1947. Amma tells of the Hindu-Muslim riots happening around the city during that time of country's independence.
After marriage, amma moved to Gohana where babaji's family lived. Babaji was practicing in Delhi, and used to visit Gohana to see his family often. Four of six children had their birth in Gohana, only Rekha buaji and Manju buaji were born in Delhi.
Jainism and its influence on my grandparents
Amma has always been very religious and holds very strong belief in God and Jainism. She went to a Jain school as a child, and she didn't do schooling after fifth standard. At the Jain school, she was taught all the prayers, the rituals, the beliefs, rules and practices of Jainism. Her school wasn't a separate body, but in conjunction with the temple.
She has a small metallic tray that was distributed in her school on the occasion of first republic day of our country, Jan-26-1951.
Babaji's family had always held positions in the management of the temple. Phool Chand Jain was the president of the temple management body, and his cousin brother, Padam Jain had some prominent position in the management. Babaji's distant-cousin and Padam Jain's son became temple's cashier later.
Around in 1950, when babaji got down with serious illness, which he recollects as TB, Phool Chand Jain went to Ayodhya to bring and set up the orange-marble idol of Lord Mahavira in the temple. The central main idol is about 900 years old, from the times of TUGHLAQ'S rule in Delhi, 1200 AD. There is a saying, ‘the older the temple, the more are the powers in it'. The idol that Phool Chand Jain brought is kept in the left section of the temple, and at about three feet, the idol is the largest idol present there, the main idol is about two feet high. The main hall in the temple is itself not very large, with the three sections covering an area of about 8-by-4 meters-squared.
Manu Apartments
Mavilla apartments put up silver-jubilee banner, society was 25 years old (1987-2012).
As amma tells, the cost of the flat in Manu Apartments had come up to be 4 Lacs (0.4 million INR). That should be the cost to investor buyers.
30-40 years ago: babaji had registered in the court with a person for the land for the lawyers for some R200 and since then they had be giving the installments as were required until the flats were ready. He got lucky in the draw and got the first flat, the flat number one.
The flat now stood at 15 million INR as the base value for the owners. Otherwise, its present let-out sale price for a buyer will be over 30 million. That is 90 times the investment value for the flat 25 years ago.
Family Tree (Incomplete)
Dates of birth, marriages and deaths of other relations.
Name: Digamber Prasad Jain
DOB: 1929-Jun-12
Married to: Darshan Mala Jain
Date of marriage: 1955-Feb-7
Passed Away: 2021-Feb-19
Relation: Grandfather
Name: Darshan Mala Jain
DOB: 1936 or 1937. It could be Oct or Nov on the day of Hoi festival.
Married to: Digamber Prasad Jain
Date of marriage: 1955-Feb-7
Note: Maina mausiji was born on 20-nov as per what she gave in the government-papers in Gujarat randomly.
Relation: Grandmother
Name: Shail Bala Jain
DOB: 1956-Sep-5
Nickname: Maalo or Maalu
Note: Shail Bala died at the age of 6/7, in the first standard. She succumbed to the high fever of about 107 Fahrenheit; it had reached her brains. I never knew her name until I was 20, I had heard of her when I was third and her story had found a place in my head right around that time, but without any description of anything, no facts, nothing at all, and just a story.
Name: Viresh Chandra Jain
DOB: 1958-Nov-27 (0400)
Married to: Sadhana Jain
Nickname: Babbu / Sheru / Sheru Mohammed
Passed Away: 2012-Apr-24
Relation: Father
Name: Sadhana Jain
DOB: 1965-Sep-05
Married to: Viresh Chandra Jain
Relation: Mother
Name: Kumkum Jain
DOB: 1960-Oct-26
Married to: Anil Kumar Jain
Nickname: Baby / Kammo
Relation: Badi Bua Ji
Name: Yashvir Singh Jain
DOB: 1962-May-21
Married to: Seema Jain
Date of marriage: 1991-Dec-7
Nickname: Neetu / Notli
Relation: Chacha Ji (Uncle)
Name: Seema Jain
DOB: Sep-24
Married to: Yashvir Singh Jain
Date of marriage: 1991-Dec-7
Relation: Chachi Ji
Name: Rekha Jain
DOB: 1964-Mar-21
Married to: Rajiv Jain
Date of marriage: Feb-17
Nickname: Toti
Relation: Bua Ji
Name: Manju Jain
DOB: 1966-Nov-03
Married to: Salil Jain
Date of marriage: 1997-Nov-22
Relation: Bua Ji
Name: Ankur Jain
DOB: 1989-Sep-19
Relation: Cousin (Son of Kumkum Jain)
Name: Anu Jain
DOB: 1990-Sep-06
Nickname: Bulli
Married to: Tushar Jain
Name: Ashish Jain
DOB: 1991-Dec-18
Nickname: Bhala, Bhalai, Bhalu
Relation: Myself
Name: Prashant Jain
DOB: 1992-Jan-20
Nickname: Munna
Name: Shruti Jain
DOB: 1993-Sep-03
Name: Rashmi Jain
DOB: 1993-Apr-08
Name: Srishti Jain
DOB: 1994-Oct-22
Nickname: Gudiya / Gulgul
Name: Smita Jain
DOB: 1995-Apr-08
Nickname: Lily
Name: Sameer Jain
DOB: 1998-Jan-08
Name: Prachi Jain
DOB: 1999-Apr-29
Nickname: Puchchi / Poochi
Name: Anushka Jain
DOB: 2007-Jan-30
Nickname: Chhutki, Gudiya
Grandma's Family Tree
Grand Uncle's (Hem Chand Jain) Family Tree
He still stays in Tri Nagar (House Number 1142, Street 75) and is now a great grand father of the daughter of Mayank.
Well, everyone on face agrees that “corruption” and “greed” two are bad. And actually “Everyone” is an overstatement, so let's say “most of us”.
Let's be controversial for a moment and allow me present to you two people who view “corruption” and “greed” positively.
Dhruv Agarwal and Rohit Sud.
Dhruv Agarwal was my Tech Lead at Mobileum (something like 2015-2018).
Dhruv was doing a distance-education degree in MBA (Strategic Leadership) from IIM Lucknow. He used to board the office cab from Saket till Sector 48, Gurugram. That was about an hour long ride.
One point I remember he used to make was his stand for corruption as a positive driver of economics and society.
He used to say “if everything was priced fairly, there would no incentive for anyone to make extra efforts in accomplishing anything. The money that's passed under the table is an opportunity for people to make something extra”.
Secondly, he used to say that “if society was fare and just, and there were equal opportunities, then what does that translate to in a country with over a billion strong population. So basically, corruption is the tool by which you can expedite your case ahead of others in this pool of people for some extra bucks.”
~~~
Rohit is my old friend, know him since my school days. He would sometimes call me to cheer me up and to give me some gyaan on whatever problems I would be facing at the moment.
On one such calls, he advocated for “Greed and Corruption”.
So he told me this story: He visits a neighborhood barber's shop for getting a hair cut or hair do. And there after the service person (among 2-3 young men who work there) finishes his job, Rohit pays him 20 Rupees tip apart from the service charge. And next time when Rohit goes there, at first, there would be a race and excitement in those young men to serve Rohit. The service person would ask Rohit for tea or coffee, and make Rohit feel like a king (for the moment). All that for just 20 Rupees.
On the contrary, when I (till now) used to take any service, I would not pay any tip. On top of that, I would be bargaining for a lower price. And now here was my friend giving me gyaan on how to use greed, corruption and poverty of this country to our advantage.
~~~
The reason I am writing about 'Corruption and Greed' today is because I encountered how Uber drivers were trying to make a couple extra bucks out of Uber users by fooling them in one way or the other.
Way 1: The Uber driver would refuse to pay tolls out of his pocket and would ask you to pay for tolls. And let me tell you – sometimes the drivers seek for this toll money and other times they don't. Simple meaning – this ask for toll money from a bad bunch of drivers is illegitimate.
FYI: I travel between Inderlok, Delhi and Sector 79, Gurugram often.
Way 2: At the end of the ride, before the driver would close the ride, he would ask you how much money was the Uber app was showing when you booked the ride, and would ask you pay that much.
“Not closing the ride” on the spot is an important step for them, because otherwise actual amount would reflect on his and your screen.
Note: The predicted amount that shows in Uber app at the time of booking a ride is higher than the actual amount at the end of the ride.
Way 3: This happened to me to once around 10-14 days back. And then I also learned it's fix.
At the end of the ride, the driver showed me an invoice for a trip that was booked for some 65 Rupees. And the invoice said something like 130 (with all the tax calculation).
The way out of it is ask the driver to close the ride and then open the “Activities” section in the Uber app, it would show all the past ride details and how much you were supposed to pay for that ride.
Way 4: The driver might take an extra longer (in terms of miles) route and would make extra money for the extra distance.
~~~
Now, I don't want to leave you hanging there but I will draw a conclusion to this debate some other day. Right now, it is getting late and I need to go to sleep.
PS: I am reading (60% done) a great Chetan Bhagat book “Revolution 2020: Love, Corruption, And Ambition”
I thought a lot about what to write, about whom to write in this meditation on “Honoring The Living”.
I had it in my mind that my grandmother and my mother are good candidates for this post, but as the days went by I reckoned that though my mother does possess some good points but I honestly can't bear her, I can't hear her speak, she makes me mad.
Another person I think of suitable for this post with whom I have a sort of love (or 'respect' would be a more appropriate word) -- hate kind of relationship is my chachaji (younger brother of my father), Yashvir Singh Jain.
So I thought I will make this post about my grandmother mostly, and write a bit about my uncle, and in the end, pay tribute to my mother with some kind words.
After my grandfather passed away in early 2020s, I thought there would be a lot of mess in the family around who gets what from babaji's assets, but there wasn't. And I think the reason behind that is my grandmother, for whom everyone cared and no one spoke about any redistribution. And things were kept and went on as status quo. It would definitely be a painful experience to go through if I have to sit in with my three bua(s) and uncle in a redistribution -- assuming I would be asked for in such a meeting.
Well, the two things that my grandmother teaches me are faith in god, and respect for duty.
In my view and visibility, religious values in my entire family (my parents, my uncle, and the three bua(s)) came from my late grandfather, and my grandmother.
I remember from my school days, my grandparents would wake up as early as five in the morning and would be first to show up at the temple while the sun still hasn't come out yet.
They would return by 7 - 7.30, and then my grandmother would make failed attempts to wake me, would make breakfast for my sister and myself to take to school, and would send us to school.
And let me tell you that what I was doing then was none of anybody's fault but my own doing: I remember being late to school every once in a while. Or finding myself standing in the defaulters during morning assembly for missing belt, missing ID card, unpolished shoes, untidy nails 😀
~~~
My uncle epitomizes religious values, hard work and discipline (and none of those qualities have brushed on me till -- maybe -- even today)
After my grandfather passed away in my family at Mayur Vihar, my uncle is the seniormost male in the family/my closest circle.
He has been a pillar of support at different moments in my life.
Though I could spill venom for all the bad times and moments I had with him but this is not the right platform for that, here I come to honor.
And let me tell you one thing -- he is respected by many for a reason.
~~~
My mother:
For one, like others (my grandfather, my grandmother, my uncle), my mother would be one of my role models in adhering to religious discipline and religious values.
She practices the Jainism way of life.
She could teach me cooking, in fact she has -- a couple of simple recipes like khichdi or aloo tamatar sabzi, for example.
I admire her cooking.
Started on Nov 25th, and completed on Nov 29th.
Lately, I was reading this book “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.
In that book, in the first chapter, Marcus recollects the life lessons epitomized by his friends, family and relations.
So here I am recollecting mine.
This I am planning to be a three part writing:
Honoring the dead
Honoring the living
And, Honoring my friends
There are several people I can think of suitable for this meditation like: my great grandfathers (Saatam vaale babaji and Chauth vaale babaji), my grandfather Digamber Prasad Jain (babaji), my father (Viresh Chandra Jain) and my bua Shail Bala. Some known people like Puneet's grandfather (and babaji's friend), and the old temple priest at the Pandav Nagar Jain temple.
Let's start with my father:
The lessons I draw from my father's life are simplicity, contentment, impermanence and appreciating the blessing called 'life'.
He dressed simply, he lived simply. He did not have a lot (or any, I can say) of wishes or expectations. He did not ask, he did not speak. I recall his life as one of simplicity and contentment. He had epilepsy and he passed away in his early 50s -- so I took away the lesson of impermanence from him and also hence, the lesson of appreciating this life as a blessing.
Next, my grandfather;
My grandfather was a very strong man in a spiritual, mental and emotional sense. He took care of my sister and me. Although he could have very easily chosen not to; but he did not do that and took up the responsibility. He showed immense strength when his son's life was going down. He showed immense strength when I was wasting away my peak years at college in chasing a back log and living an indisciplined life. As I feel today: he meant everything to me. And the last of the last lessons that he tried to teach me was “thanda raho” (in Hindi) -- meaning: stay calm, stay cool.
Next:
Puneet's grandfather considered me a bright child as told to me by Puneet's mother (Mamta aunty). I just want to recall one last meeting with him. It was 2008, I was studying in XII. I was coming back from the temple around 12 pm as I did daily and on my walk back to home near Navbharat and Sahyog apartments he met me on the way coming from the opposite direction.
This is somewhat close to what he told me that day about my preparation for IITJEE:
'This is a very important time for you, study hard, it is a matter of life and death.'
Today, I both agree and disagree with him.
Yes, the year was important. Yes, my life would have been very different had I cleared the IITJEE but the truth is I didn't, and I am still alive.
But even today, I try to live in that spirit -- I do not consider hard work as optional.
Music takes you places. Music is a drug. Music lets you time-travel. Music brings old memories back.
This time we are going back to winters of 2018 and 2019 during my time in Chandigarh at Infosys.
The songs I am listening to are:
Sakhiyaan by Maninder Bhutto
Daaru badnaam by Param Singh
And Lamborghini by Doorbeen
When I hear 'Sakhiyaan', I recall the day I listened to it on repeat the entire day from morning till evening. It was a winter morning. Probably Friday, with less crowd on the office floor and less people on the campus.
I listened to this song that day on repeat while walking in the Infosys campus -- in the backyard full of greenery and picturesque setting.
And as I think of that time, I think of Shalu Yadav.
Next, as I listen to this song 'Daaru Badnaam', I remember the winter mornings in the house in Manimajra, my first rental accommodation.
I remember I had this song as my alarm tone, and I used to wake up to this song. Hummed by the singers in the opening.
And it is winter today and I am lying in bed in the same blanket/comforter which I also had at that time.
And I remember walking on the floor in formal attire, black pants and light colored shirt, outside the prestiged secure lab called “Digital Garage”.
And as I think of that time, I think of Priyanka.
From the song “Lamborghini”, I get the same vibes as my time in Chandigarh while I was working with Amitabh and the team of Kajal Singh, Megha Gupta, Akhil Sharma, Sahib Singh, Asmita and Ravi Bhaskar. Amazing people… except that I lost contact with all of them. Ravi is added on my Facebook and maybe some of these guys are added on my LinkedIn but I miss that time with them.
These guys tried to teach me to live life joyfully, enjoy work, have fun and not be so serious all the time. I miss these guys.
When I moved from Mobileum to Infosys, I used to reminisce about my time at Mobileum, and now when I have moved past Infosys, I reminisce about my time at Infy.
Lately, I’ve been meditating on this idea of the “paycheck” — not just the money I earn, but what it means to live by it, for it, or despite it.
Let’s be honest — I’m not really living paycheck to paycheck. But sometimes, it feels like I am. Not because the money isn’t enough, but because my mindset often makes it feel that way.
For years, I’ve lived below my means. Every purchase was a calculation — counting pennies in the cost, and counting pennies in my pocket. I’ve always believed that living cautiously was smart — that building a safety net was the mark of responsibility. And in some ways, it was.
Redefining “Paycheck to Paycheck”
To me, living paycheck to paycheck means spending what you earn with nothing left to save — and spending mostly on necessities. That was never my case. I’ve always saved. I’ve even splurged on quality things once in a while.
Except for that one stretch — from October 2021 to June 2022 — I’ve always been a big-time saver. I was living under my means, not just within them. And my reason was simple: I had seen days where one unexpected event could shake everything. That helplessness — the kind where you shed a quiet tear, wipe it, and move on — left a mark on me. So I built my walls of savings to feel safe.
The Irony of “Doing Everything Right”
I was doing all the things financial influencers preach:
✅ Saving
✅ Investing
✅ Budgeting
✅ Tracking
But somewhere along the way, I missed the joy part.
The “treat yourself” part.
The “celebrate small wins” part.
In my life, there was always a trade-off between money and happiness — and 95% of the time, I chose money. Looking back, I don’t regret choosing stability, but I do wish I had known other ways to find joy — like meditating, volunteering at the temple, or simply reading something that nourishes the soul.
The Question I Keep Asking
We’ve all read about delayed gratification — that the people who can wait, who can resist the short-term thrill, are the ones who make it big in life.
But today, as I reflect on my own choices, I find myself asking:
How much delay were those books really talking about?
Because sometimes, the line between discipline and deprivation gets blurry.
Maybe the real art isn’t in delaying joy — it’s in learning how to afford joy wisely.
Why do I speak of death today?
Well, my mom’s a bit sick. She had cataract surgery yesterday.
Yesterday — Day 1 — she was on hourly doses of eye drops. One of them, PredoRx, is a steroid called Prednisolone, prescribed to reduce inflammation and soreness. Today and tomorrow, she’ll be taking it every two hours.
Meanwhile, I’ve been dealing with some neck pain myself — nothing severe, but noticeable. On a scale of 0 to 10, I’d call it a 3 or maybe a 5.
And somehow, these small brushes with physical fragility — her eyes, my neck — led me to think about death. Not in a morbid way, but in that quiet, reflective sense that sometimes surfaces when life slows you down.
Because life is fragile.
But that’s not the end of it.
Seeing Death from Different Angles
I often look at death through multiple lenses — spiritual, psychological, physical, societal, and even business or motivational.
After a deep breath, here’s what’s been going on in my head lately:
I’ve begun to see death as a kind of relief — though not in every sense. Let me explain.
1. The Psychological Sense
From a psychological point of view, death can feel like a relief.
Not because one wants to die, but because the mind, when fatigued or overwhelmed, starts craving stillness — the kind of stillness it associates with death. It’s a signal that something inside needs rest, or a pause, or simply someone to talk to.
If you find yourself seeing death as a relief, maybe it’s your inner self asking for respite, not an ending.
2. The Physical Sense
Physically, death is simply the end of the body’s biological processes — the cessation of existence in tangible form. But it isn’t always instantaneous. It can be slow, painful, and full of struggle. There’s no button that turns life off neatly.
3. The Spiritual Sense
Spiritually, traditions like Jainism, Buddhism, and Hinduism teach that death isn’t an end — it’s a continuation.
The soul moves on. Rebirth may follow. But there’s no guarantee it will be an upgrade. You might come back as a dog, a cow, or something entirely unexpected. The idea can be both comforting and unsettling, depending on how you see it.
4. The Societal Sense
Societally, death removes one participant from the collective rhythm of humanity.
Yet, its ripples linger. For those close to the person who passes, the absence shapes futures, memories, and even identities. The loss of one life alters the texture of many others.
5. The Motivational Sense
From a business or motivational standpoint, thoughts of death can sharpen focus.
They remind us of impermanence, of time’s scarcity. For a short while, death-awareness pulls distractions away and forces clarity — on what matters, what doesn’t, and what must be done now.
A Gentle Reflection
So, why did I speak of death today?
Because it’s there — in the background of life, quietly teaching us the value of the present moment.
Thinking of death isn’t always dark. Sometimes, it’s a mirror.
And sometimes, it’s a whisper: slow down, breathe, take care.
