Showing posts with label Meditations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meditations. Show all posts

Monday, September 7, 2026

If it was the last time, you were...


My Meditations    « Previously

“अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप…”

Steve Jobs अपने आप से एक सवाल पूछा करते थे, जो उन्हें उस दिन किए जाने वाले काम पर पूरी तरह केंद्रित कर देता था।

वह सवाल था—

“अगर आज पृथ्वी पर मेरा आख़िरी दिन हो, तो मैं क्या करूँगा?”

कई दिनों, हफ्तों और महीनों तक इस सवाल पर विचार करते-करते मेरे मन में एक दूसरा सवाल आया।

यह सवाल भी उतना ही शक्तिशाली है, लेकिन यह दृष्टिकोण को “क्या करना है” से बदलकर “कैसे करना है” पर ले जाता है।

यह सवाल आपको अगला महत्वपूर्ण काम खोजने के लिए प्रेरित नहीं करता, बल्कि यह याद दिलाता है कि—

आप जो भी कर रहे हैं, जहाँ भी कर रहे हैं और जैसे भी कर रहे हैं—उसे पूरे मन से कीजिए।

वह सवाल है—

“अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप…?”

और इस वाक्य को आप लगभग किसी भी काम के साथ पूरा कर सकते हैं।

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप अपने दोस्त से बात कर रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप एक कप चाय पी रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप कोई किताब पढ़ रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप नहा रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप अपना भोजन कर रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप वह संगीत सुन रहे होते?

  • अगर यह आपका आख़िरी ध्यान होता?

  • अगर यह आपकी मंदिर की आख़िरी यात्रा होती?

  • अगर यह आख़िरी बार होता, जब आप कुछ लिख रहे होते?

इन सवालों का जादू यह है कि ये आपका ध्यान जल्दबाज़ी और तात्कालिकता से हटाकर संतोष और पूर्णता की ओर ले जाते हैं।

जब आपको सच में यह एहसास होता है कि हर चीज़ अस्थायी है, तो जीवन के छोटे-छोटे सुख, जिन्हें हम अक्सर नज़रअंदाज़ कर देते हैं, अचानक बहुत मूल्यवान लगने लगते हैं।

एक कप चाय सिर्फ चाय नहीं रह जाती।

किसी दोस्त से हुई बातचीत सिर्फ बातचीत नहीं रह जाती।

किसी प्रिय गीत को सुनना सिर्फ संगीत सुनना नहीं रह जाता।

आप उन क्षणों में पूरी तरह उपस्थित हो जाते हैं।

आप उन्हें जल्दी-जल्दी ख़त्म करने के बजाय जीने लगते हैं।

अंत में…

ज़िंदगी का मतलब हमेशा यह नहीं होता कि आप अपने समय से सबसे ज़्यादा काम कैसे निकाल सकते हैं।

कभी-कभी ज़िंदगी का मतलब बस इतना होता है कि—

जो कुछ अभी आपके सामने है, उसे पूरी तरह जिएँ।

यहीं।

अभी।

पूरे मन से।

क्योंकि हो सकता है…

यह आख़िरी बार हो।

“What If It Were the Last Time You…”

Steve Jobs used to ask himself a question that helped him focus completely on what he had to do that day.

The question was:

“If today were my last day on Earth, what would I do?”

As I reflected on this question for days, weeks, and months, another question came to my mind.

This question is just as powerful, but it shifts the perspective from “what to do” to “how to do it.”

It does not ask you to search for the next meaningful thing to do. Instead, it reminds you:

Whatever you are doing, wherever you are doing it, and however you are doing it—do it wholeheartedly.

The question is:

“What if it were the last time you…?”

And you can complete this sentence with almost anything.

  • What if it were the last time you were talking to your friend?

  • What if it were the last time you were drinking a cup of tea?

  • What if it were the last time you were reading a book?

  • What if it were the last time you were taking a shower?

  • What if it were the last time you were having your meal?

  • What if it were the last time you were listening to that song?

  • What if it were your last meditation?

  • What if it were your last visit to the temple?

  • What if it were the last time you were writing?

The power of these questions is that they shift your attention from urgency and haste to satisfaction and fulfillment.

When you truly realize that everything is temporary, the little pleasures of life—things we so often overlook—suddenly begin to feel incredibly valuable.

A cup of tea is no longer just a cup of tea.

A conversation with a friend is no longer just a conversation.

Listening to a favorite song is no longer just listening to music.

You become fully present in those moments.

Instead of rushing through them, you begin to live them.

In the end…

Life is not always about getting the most work out of your time.

Sometimes, life is simply about fully experiencing whatever is in front of you.

Right here.

Right now.

With your whole heart.

Because it might be…

the last time.


My Meditations    « Previously

Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Creating TODO list (2026 Aug 6, 9AM)


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Aug 6, 9 Am

"I am feeling okay, not confused, rather with slight clarity"

The truth is : There will always be problems.

And the irony is : I am an active seeker of problems, inviting them, rather than waiting for one.

Couple of tasks in my head

# Office: Connect Github + Blogger + Github Actions
And later: Github + Python Anywhere + Github Actions

Personal / Or with mom

# Get the rent agreements for all the tenants

# Talk to Lawyer Mohit Jain

PERSONAL / MATH-EIGHT

# Test "blend words (ccvc) App"

# Enhance "Tiny Stories App" for meaning and phrase pairs.

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Saturday, August 15, 2026

TODO (2026 Aug 13, 8AM)


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13 Aug 2026

To Do
— Run PDF Reconciliation code on PDF files received on 12th Aug.
— Explore further on Ignis/Leonis. Raise specific issues that you get/observe — not just open-ended requests like “Can you help me run this code?”
— Create a table to maintain SPA details from math-eight. Columns: [Title, URL, Date Published, Subject, Class, Language, Mobile/Web, Developer]
— While you work with interns, focus on infrastructure, architecture, security and research/innovation in what you do.
— Engagement with DC.AI?
— Father's name correction in death certificate?
— Rent agreements for tenants in Tri Nagar? 
— Get intern offer letters sanitized by Mohit Jain.

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Sunday, August 9, 2026

Improve on the worst possiblity (Aug 2026)


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9 Aug 2026, 6PM

# Improve on your Worst case scenario.

# To love what you are doing: Assume this is your final hour and that it's the last time you are doing that you do, it's the last conversation between you and that person, it's the last time that you having your coffee, write as if it's the last time that you are writing...

# Value people above money and material. Value the living above non-living.

— ✗ —

Atomic Habit addresses bad days and low motivation moments through three core strategies:

(1) The 2-minute rule (Scaling down habits):
Rather than trying to maintain maximum performance on your worst days, scale your habit down so it takes two minutes or less (e.g. instead of running 5 miles, put on your running shoes). This keeps the neural pathway alive even when energy is at its lowest.

(2) Never miss twice: Missing a habit once is an accident; missing it twice is the start of a new, bad habit. The goal on bad days isn't to hit a personal best, but to maintain continuity.

(3) Focusing on the process/trajectory: James Clear says that small, repeated actions define your identity over time.

— ✗ —

Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that would happen as a consequence of your death?

Next proceed to take just a small step towards improving the worst possible outcome.

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Monday, August 3, 2026

My North Star (2026 Aug 3)


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3 Aug 2026, 7:50 PM

Today (after having read 200+ books), I don't think knowledge is the problem with me.
I damn well know right from wrong.
I damn well can separate big from the small — but somehow I don't.

7 AM — 5 PM: Office
5 PM — 7:30 PM: downstairs

So I was totally disengaged and at distance from from my regular and routine life.
Pretty obvious why I am feeling confused!

Asking the "North Star" question again:
What would I do if it were my last day on Earth?

Managing money, managing work and managing family will go on forever till the end of life, but what is it that would matter to me if I were to die?

On my last day on Earth, I would take some time out to savor my little and big wins in life. To thank those I met on the journey to this day. And some time to accept my shortcomings, accept my losses and accept my failures.


Random thought.... I lack patience to follow through my plans. I lack patience to listen and engage with people. And because of this impatience with people, situations and life, I also (I am aware) appear to be uncouth to a lot of people.
Not everything in life sees and meets closure...

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Saturday, August 1, 2026

math-eight Related Tasks (2026 Aug 1)


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  • UI Issues
    — How apps render on :
    — Phone (landscape)
    — Phone (portrait)
    — Desktop / Laptop
    — Micromax / Samsung / Android [TV]

  • UI Issue : Whether to pop-out the app-div
    OR: to hide Blogger UI elements

  • SUGGESTION
    Have a three part design of an activity :
    — Learning page / screen / SPA
    — Assessment page
    — Report (evaluation) page

** BACKED BY FLASK APP AND A COMMON SQLITEBASED DB **
This DB is common for all apps.

  • AI BASED SOFTWARE TESTING FRAMEWORK / PLATFORM FOR THESE APPS.

Friday, July 31, 2026

Nervous Again (Jul 2026)


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"I was excited till the morning, but nervous and confused at noon."

Why: Because the project is not exciting and it isn't related to AI or ML.
Much more like a Cloud and Software engineering project.... At first sight.

~~~

The thought I am getting right now is I am gonna have to find a way out.

~~~

A loan is bad for the person who needs it and good for the person who doesn't.

CASE 1:
Netizens have an opinion and view that if you have an X amount of Home loan and you have an X amount of money in your account, you shall not pay the home loan till it has a interest rate like 7-8% set and revised based on RBI's repo rate.

You keep the X amount of money in a fund that has higher returns such as Index funds with (historically) 12-12.5% returns and specifically higher than Home loan interest rate, and then you continue with Home loan.

CLEARLY: This person didn't need home loan but he took it.

CASE 2:
Second case is a person who is okay to pay the EMI and is in need of a house so Home loan would be good for him.

CASE 3:
Third case is a person who DOES NOT want to pay EMIs and who COULD live within or below his means.

I am sort of a Case 3 type of person.
I value freedom more than debts, burdens, EMIs and monthly payouts. 

Home loan is bad for me.

~~~

Random Quote: When you are angry, drink water. Water has cooling and cleansing properties. And so does slow and deep breathing.

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Thursday, July 30, 2026

Projects and Tasks with me and why I would do them (Jul 2026)


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LIST OF PROJECTS I AM DOING AND WHY?

# Legal Help

Because I am aware that I may need the solution when helping myself or mom with SIR, or with Aadhaar update, or while trying to get father's details corrected, or while opposing a legal body / local governance body.

# math-eight

Because I had shared my interest with Juhi mam and Poonam mam.
THIS IS THE PROJECT I FEEL DEEPLY CONNECTED WITH.

# Engagement with DLAI as an Alpha Tester

Because it gives me sense of pride and purpose.
It gives me a sense of value and importance.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

TASKS

- Getting rectification of father's name done in father's and mom's documents.

- Closing / Completing DSA course at Khan Academy

- Studies from platforms like LinkedIn, DLAI, WebVeda, Khan Academy.

- Paying House tax for MMV

- Canceling unneeded subscriptions

- Cancel availability on Job portals such as Naukri and LinkedIn

- Read a few pages from a book

- Update survival8 for knowledge from books, videos or news.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2026

What are my priorities? (Jul 2026)


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28 Jul 2026, 5:50 PM

Q: What are my priorities?

# Home Loan is not priority. It's collateralized. 
[PRIORITY: 1 (lowest)]

# Getting mom's and dad's documents corrected 
[PRIORITY: 5 (highest)]

# Voter ID correction and SIR for me in Gurgaon and SIR for mom in Delhi 
[PRIORITY: 4 (second highest)]

# Building retirement corpus
[PRIORITY: 2 (second lowest)]

# PRIORITY 3: Mildly urgent and also mildly important-

## Reading books 
(On retirement, on leadership, on Chanakyaniti)

## Doing personal projects 
(on Link to Blog, Video to Blog, math-eight, AI powered legal assistance)

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Tuesday, July 21, 2026

Repivot (2026 Jul 21)


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Repivot

21 July 2026 There's a bit of confusion and running thoughts in my head about my job because I cleared three rounds of interview with a company and now I will be invited for HR discussion. NOTE: It should be noted that I'm still talking in terms possibilities (of HR discussion). With this possible progress, there are these four questions that are going in my head: (1) What should be my goals now (personal, professional, academic)? (2) What should my spending patterns be? (3) What does the end look like ? (4) What did I learn from my experiences in about past 2-3 years?
(1) Goals # To be healthy # To be happy # To be less financially burdened Professional: Like Apurba Das said: To stick into this job for 3-5 years. Academic: No change as such but frequency may decrease with other (job) priorities coming in. (2) Spending patterns 2.1 Regular expenses 2.2 Early repayment of Home loan 2.3 Laptop for AI workloads (possibly costing about 4 - 4.5 Lacs) 2.4 Renovation and maintenance in Tri Nagar (possibly 2 Lacs INR) SEEMS LIKE A PLAN FOR NEXT 6-12 MONTHS FROM FIRST DAY AT NEW JOB... BCS FIRST 6 MONTHS ARE OF PROBATION WHAT DOES THE END LOOK LIKE? Well, the time is going to run out. We are all going to die sooner or later. But I just wish for myself that I don't run out of money while I still have life in me. ...A very typical retirement goal :D WHAT DID I LEARN FROM MY EXPERIENCES IN ABOUT PAST 2-3 YEARS? # Maintain continuous learning in this daily changing world of tech. # Complacency could kill you.
Keep the below quotations in mind: "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." — James Clear (Atomic Habits) "We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training." — Ancient Greek Poet Archilochus

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Pivot (17 Jul 2026)


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13 Jul 2026 "Memento Mori"

# Not keeping well # Not so energetic # Feeling good about not having any loans to pay. (Except Home Loan, which is collateralized.) # Having mixed emotions about my mother -- love & hate / ignorance & care

17 Jul 2026, 2:15 PM

My mind has been abuzz with thoughts lately. #1 Finances #2 Job #3 family Major shock came when I realized that I may not earn money equivalent to my expenses (monthly) from Flocareer. My monthly expenses stand at about 70-80 k. My earnings from flocareer for 15 days stand at 20 k. That's 40k for 30 days (projected)

Job

# My preparations to crack job interviews is not top notch. # My fundamentals are poor. # Same questions are (50 - 70 %) asked in interview after interview but I have yet got a hold of them. What are the solutions? # Start small # Set 1 Hour daily meant towards preparing for interviews. Why fix it when we are spending time randomly, flexibly? "Fix it" because it creates a ritual, creates a habit, creates a routine, creates a default, gives you room to plan before the hour. For today that hour is 6-7 pm.

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Worst case thinking and lessons to ponder upon


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28 Jun 2026

Day 18 of job search

Worst case thinking

If I am not able to pay my cook -
If I default on society dues -
Well, a lot of "what if(s)".

When you lose your job, what is the first consequence of that?

# Stress

# Financial crunch

What two things we can do to manage stress?

# Meditate

# Exercise

What two things we can do to manage financial crunch?

# Cut back on expenses

# Pick up some thing to do that pays something


Q: Let's say this is your 18th day job search. What would you do? Or what would you do differently? I'd need to collect feedback. "Error Analysis" of the feedback # Get book recommendations from ChatGPT (to work on the errors from feedback) # Get YouTube video recommendations from ChatGPT (to work on the errors from feedback) (or Gemini)
Work on the foundations Apurba Das: Goal shouldn't just be to clear the interview. But to stay in the job long enough.

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Monday, June 29, 2026

Honoring My Managers: Dipu Pandey


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Though my tenure at The Webplant was short – less than 6 months – I learned some very basic and valuable lessons at the company – and most of them from my first team leader Dipu Pandey.

In this post, I would share three key lessons I learnt from Dipu Pandey that I wished I had learned and absorbed earlier.

#1 No compromises with the quality of your work.

While working in Dipu Pandey’s team, we would get the site migration projects where we would have to migrate already running client sites to HubSpot.

After the team member would complete the migration, Dipu Pandey would be the first authority to sign off the migration (then it would go to others like Vikram Singh or Deepti Mittal).

In the first review, Dipu Pandey would be matching and comparing the migrated site with the original, element by element and pixel by pixel. I repeat “pixel by pixel”.

That experience with him taught me the value of quality work. And about the role and responsibilities of a team leader.

#2 Go the distance. And then, run the extra mile.

Dipu Pandey expected his team to be the last team leaving in the evening.

Staying late at the Webplant office for some extra 30-60 minutes was pretty normal for his team.

Not that I liked it when it happened, but let’s be honest: If you are willing to go the extra mile for your lead, manager or company, you will register yourself in their good books – which could translate to better work, better pay, better position, better role, or something else that’s “better”.

#3 Leadership

Dipu Pandey commanded respect and authority. He was good at what he did and his team (because of Dipu Pandey’s QA/Testing) also did brilliant work.

There was a line he used to say to express his understanding of the corporate world and corporate culture in general: “Boss is always right.”

Sure, it’s a cliche and an over-simplification but a good starting point to keep in mind if and when you have to face or confront your leadership (be it your lead, manager or just somebody senior).

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Friday, June 26, 2026

Worst Case Thinking


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2026-Jun-26
    
WORST CASE SCENARIO

11 Jun: Abhishek Chakraborty disclosed the termination news — taking my forced resignation instead.
26 Jun: 15 days later.
No other job offer in hand.
A couple of disappointments from a couple of interviews.

Yesterday, Abhishek Chakraborty said I may be getting terminated for deleting my resignation record from my SuccessFactor profile.
That means no salary for June and a marked documentation and blacklisting at IBM.
Read this again: "No salary for June."
I don't have enough in my current account even for next 30 days.
34 + 8K is non-negotiable (42K).
Let's say 50–60K with some expenses even if I live in Tri Nagar.

I have about 2.4L in savings/investments.
That money will last for about 4–5 months.

So, I have about 4 months to find a job (or find a source of money).

Worst case thinking -- If I don't find a job in 4 months:

# I would default on Home Loan.
# Run out of ~2.5 lakhs of savings.
# Would have to redeem other/remaining 10L at (possibly) a loss.

Okay, so 10L might buy me another 20 months (1 year and 8 months) of time.
And after that, I would run out of every penny.
Would have to say goodbye to ***.
AND: Too big and wide a gap in my resume.

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How much money needed to live by?


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19 Jun 2026

The problem isn't dying — but rather in living.
If I were dying, I wouldn't have to worry about finances or relationships. But if I were to live I'd have to calculate the bare minimum I would need to live by my months and days.
After a more rigorous thinking, I have reduced my monthly spends down to 70–80K (which is not a low number either) but down from 1L by 20–30%.
In this 70–80K:

35K is for paying Home loan EMI.
Rest 35K–45K is for everything else.

Breakdown:

35K: Home loan EMI

8K: Society dues (monthly)

1.2K: Internet

3K: Electricity

4.5K: Food

1K: Milk

4K: Subscriptions like DL.AI, WebVeda, PythonAnywhere, Naukri.com...

That's about 57K.
So, 13K for reasons like:

1: Medicine
2: Gadgets
3: Clothes
4: Travel
5: Car/Scooty maintenance
6: Petrol/Gas
7: Cooking gas
8: Or any other luxuries
9: House maintenance (MMV and Tri Nagar)

Effectively, we would run out of 70K, or average out over the time at 70K.
Doing a rough math for an FD @ 6.5% p.a. interest rate: we would need about 1.3 Cr to make enough money for our monthly spends.


If I were to live longer, I may need to have some relationships. And "Building and Managing Relationships" is what I am worst at. Totally clueless.

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