2011-Jun-14

Index of Journals

June 14, 2011
I had night fall in the morning. God that sucks! I was awake around 0500 and others had already woken up. There was rush in the house. Badi buaji was making noise to wake Ankur up who had got down only after 0130 last night after talking to Prashant. I was awake and studying math, I was studying because there was nothing I could have done with Prashant and Ankur talking, and I can’t hear Prashant talk, he is still stupid no matter what. I had given his 19000 rank pretty much thought and I couldn’t find it impressive enough to make me feel unwell mentally. He is like one in every fifteen where I was one-in-every-ten. So what if on finding three like me you would have already found two like him. I was cleaning my notes for my last JEE preparation from the behind amma’s bed and I read out the study plan I had formulated for being one in fifty or one in hundred. It still sounded impressive and I was ready to give it a try. I am back again on the same track.
I somehow learned that my knickers were wet. I rushed to the room and there it was the wet patch on the bed sheet. Holy shit, I was taken aback for a second and but then we were leaving the place anyway. It was really feeling bad inside. I left the bed wet with my pull-over lying around it for not making it catch everybody’s attention.
I didn’t bath, nor did many others unlike how it was planned last night. There was no time left. Babaji was already ready to go and now it was us left behind. I didn’t bath and asked to pull over the same shorts which I wear most of the time at home. Babaji didn’t approve of it. I changed to jeans and we were ready to go. Badi buaji was making fuss about that small bag I was carrying with me, before leaving the house she put that Mazaa bottle filled with water in my bag. That was crazy. I couldn’t have said anything. 
We all jammed into SX4 and chachi drove us to the bus stop. I was quiet most of the time, I had to be quiet. Shruti has been unnecessarily rude to me like she owes me something. I sat on the window seat with Srishti on my left and Shruti on her left. The bus ride was easy, as we got the seats early and near the front. I had spent too much time loading my phone with songs but I never pulled out my ear phones. I read DS book instead. I was watching the women who were passing by, through the window on either side and in the bus, which was crazy. I am very different from the usual; I caught the eye of bus driver from the mirrors that were arranged above his head. I don’t know what I was looking for but it wasn’t probably a woman thing then. I sent a negative impression by my weird way of living. Women would always catch my eye first, and then the people in her vicinity. We had once gone to down to drink sugarcane juice and otherwise the ride was smooth. Last part was the auto ride when there was music and Ankur whistled through the way with the loud music in our ears. It wasn’t loud in terms of genre.

We got rooms with coolers. We settled fast. Babaji wanted the room downstairs but there were no cooler there. The first day wasn’t very far from the usual. Badi buaji would always be in her loud voice so there is nothing to write any new about her. Ankur, Prashant, babaji and I slept in one room and the ladies in the other. We got rooms side by side so it was easy to communicate. 
I listened to music before going to bed to prevent myself from the stupid talks of Ankur and Prashant. I wasn’t actually in the mood to listen to music but it was just out of utter formality to give my ear phones a chance since I had brought them here. Plus, I was thinking about my inclination for women, awful inclination.
God bless me
Ashish

/* NEPALI MATHERC**D AGAR TERI VAJAH SE PRASHANT OR MERE BEECH LADAI HUI TOH APNI MAA KO MUJHSE CH**NE SE BACHA LIYO */ A text message sent to Appu last year. I deleted lately, it is a master piece in its own.