2011-Apr-26

Index of Journals

April 26, 2011

I was walking in the market on my way to stationary and I saw Hardik returning from somewhere on the other side of the road. He ignored me, did he? I just didn’t bother to say anything and now it is feeling bad to me, like we were supposed to be friends after all the shit I have been through whole my life. Let me just fuck it.
I had planned to leave badi buaji’s place by ten with Ankur and then visit college once from Mayur Vihar to submit project but it didn’t happen that way. Ankur woke me up at six in the morning, which was not required. I got ready before Ankur and Shruti by eight or something. Then I went down to finish my work, I had to go around Ankur real hard to get the motivation to go down and finish the printing work by myself. He took time to get ready and eat his breakfast upstairs and he came down when he was completely ready. He helped me forward a mail to Nitish which I couldn’t do by myself due to system problem. Then I downloaded some Eminem tracks which Srishti had and then her folder was deleted from the laptop probably by uncle. It was good, then I watched Playboy website for rest of the time. They have awesome stuff, nothing like anything anyone knows on the face of Earth. Most of the times when I would go to badi buaji’s room I would find Shruti watching television, I would dare to disturb her and she would whine girlishly. I was doing up down indecisively to wait for a call from badi buaji or babaji or amma. It happened only by afternoon that final plans of my departure were laid. I had discussed my plans with all the three and they had heard my plan for next one and a half month of college about fifteen to twenty times. I guess now they tell it back without mistake. Badi buaji wrote down my results on a piece of paper just like how babaji make me write marks after every semester. 
Badi buaji and Manju buaji talked continuously and I had to leave as babaji will come to pick me up outside the street in car at the time of returning from the court. I couldn’t go with Ankur because I hadn’t eaten breakfast when he left around 0930. Shruti had seemed not very happy with me over here but when it comes to the news of Ashish Jain leaving she seems to be back with her childish voice. She talked to happily when it came the time when badi buaji asked her to drop me to the car. She came by to see Manju buaji and babaji in the car. While leaving badi buaji handed me Rs 200 that was good.
I came home and no one had changed, neither changed the topics of conversation. The property, the swatter, the exams, the results, no topic had changed. 
Badi buaji kept giving me philosophical lectures, she kept telling me that her place is always there for me, I can be studying there where I can give my best and she wants nothing else. I brought home two under wears and shirts of Ankur. I was wearing one when I came back home and amma said she didn’t like it.
There I had used one of their extra toothbrushes, their towel, and Ankur’s raiser. I was supposed to carry these things with myself but I forgot.
God bless me
Ashish