URL to download Pentaho Community Edition: https://sourceforge.net/projects/pentaho/Unzip the downloaded .zip file using the command: $ unzip xyx.zip When you would try to run 'spoon.sh' for the first time, you might see this WARNING: (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~/Downloads/pdi-ce-9.2.0.0-290/data-integration$ source spoon.sh ####################################################################### WARNING: no libwebkitgtk-1.0 detected, some features will be unavailable Consider installing the package with apt-get or yum. e.g. 'sudo apt-get install libwebkitgtk-1.0-0' ####################################################################### Gtk-Message: 13:35:00.303: Failed to load module "canberra-gtk-module" 13:35:05,128 INFO [KarafBoot] Checking to see if org.pentaho.clean.karaf.cache is enabled 13:35:05,510 INFO [KarafInstance] ******************************************************************************* *** Karaf Instance Number: 1 at /home/ashish/Downloads/pdi-ce-9.2.0.0-290/d *** *** ata-integration/./system/karaf/caches/spoon/data-1 *** *** Karaf Port:8802 *** *** OSGI Service Port:9051 ----- ----- -----ERROR IN INSTALLATION OF: libwebkitgtk
System Info: (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ uname -a Linux ashish-VirtualBox 5.11.0-38-generic #42~20.04.1-Ubuntu SMP Tue Sep 28 20:41:07 UTC 2021 x86_64 x86_64 x86_64 GNU/Linux (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~/Downloads/pdi-ce-9.2.0.0-290/data-integration$ sudo apt-get install libwebkitgtk-1.0-0 Reading package lists... Done Building dependency tree Reading state information... Done Package libwebkitgtk-1.0-0 is not available, but is referred to by another package. This may mean that the package is missing, has been obsoleted, or is only available from another source E: Package 'libwebkitgtk-1.0-0' has no installation candidate Following the steps here fixed the issue for me: 1. Open terminal and write this: $ sudo nano /etc/apt/sources.list 2. Add this entry to the file and save: deb http://cz.archive.ubuntu.com/ubuntu bionic main universe 3. $ sudo apt-get update 4.1. $ sudo apt-get install libwebkitgtk-1.0-0 ----> if you are using Vega and jdk of 64 bits 4.2 $ sudo apt-get install libwebkitgtk-1.0-0:i386 ----> if you are using Vega and jdk of 32 bits ----- ----- -----POSTGRESQL
PostgreSQL Installation Script: install_postgresql.sh sudo sh -c 'echo "deb http://apt.postgresql.org/pub/repos/apt $(lsb_release -cs)-pgdg main" > /etc/apt/sources.list.d/pgdg.list' wget --quiet -O - https://www.postgresql.org/media/keys/ACCC4CF8.asc | sudo apt-key add - sudo apt-get update sudo apt-get -y install postgresqlContinuing Installation and Solving Issues
(base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:/$ cd ~ (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ bash (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: role "ashish" does not exist (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql -U ashish psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: role "ashish" does not exist (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ echo $USER ashish (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql -U postgres psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: Peer authentication failed for user "postgres" (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo service postgresql restart (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql -U postgres Password for user postgres: psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: password authentication failed for user "postgres" (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo -i -u postgres postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql Password for user postgres: psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: password authentication failed for user "postgres" postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ ----- ----- ----- STACKOVERFLOW: The problem is your pg_hba.conf file*. This line: local all postgres peer Should be: local all postgres md5 * The location of this file isn't very consistent. The command locate pg_hba.conf should help; here's some examples: /etc/postgresql/*/main/pg_hba.conf and /var/lib/pgsql/data/pg_hba.conf. After altering this file, don't forget to restart your PostgreSQL server. If you're on Linux, that would be sudo service postgresql restart. These are brief descriptions of both options according to the official PostgreSQL docs on authentication methods. ----- ----- -----ERROR
postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ exit logout (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo nano /etc/postgresql/14/main/pg_hba.conf (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo -i -u postgres postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql -U postgres Password for user postgres: psql: error: connection to server on socket "/var/run/postgresql/.s.PGSQL.5432" failed: FATAL: password authentication failed for user "postgres" postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ ----- ----- ----- Solution You need just set METHOD to trust. (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo nano /etc/postgresql/14/main/pg_hba.conf #TYPE DATABASE USER ADDRESS METHOD local all all trust And reload postgres server. $ service postgresql-9.5 reload ----- ----- -----Snapshot of my own file
# Database administrative login by Unix domain socket local all all trust # TYPE DATABASE USER ADDRESS METHOD # "local" is for Unix domain socket connections only #local all all peer local all all trust # IPv4 local connections: host all all 127.0.0.1/32 scram-sha-256 # IPv6 local connections: host all all ::1/128 scram-sha-256 ----- ----- -----TESTING POSTGRESQL COMMANDS:
(base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ sudo -i -u postgres postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql psql (14.0 (Ubuntu 14.0-1.pgdg20.04+1)) Type "help" for help. postgres-# \du List of roles Role name | Attributes | Member of -----------+------------------------------------------------------------+----------- postgres | Superuser, Create role, Create DB, Replication, Bypass RLS | {} postgres-# \password postgres Enter new password: Enter it again: postgres-# (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ psql -U postgres Password for user postgres: psql (14.0 (Ubuntu 14.0-1.pgdg20.04+1)) SSL connection (protocol: TLSv1.3, cipher: TLS_AES_256_GCM_SHA384, bits: 256, compression: off) Type "help" for help. postgres=# postgres=# postgres=# SELECT current_date; current_date -------------- 2021-10-29 (1 row) postgres=# postgres-# quit Use \q to quit. postgres-# \q postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ postgres@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ exit logout (base) ashish@ashish-VirtualBox:~$ ----- ----- -----
Sunday, October 31, 2021
Pentaho and PostgreSQL Installation on Ubuntu (2021 Oct)
Friday, October 29, 2021
Potentially Unwanted Application detected by MS Defender - JDownloader
1 - JDownloader Exe File
2 - Select it for scanning by Windows Defender
3 - PUA Found
4 - Presenoker
5 - Presenoker - Microsoft Security Intelligence
6 - CandyOpen
7 - CandyOpen - MSI
8 - FusionCore
9 - FusionCore
10 - MiniTool
Tuesday, October 26, 2021
Monday, October 25, 2021
Chapter 5 - Lalaji (my great grandfathers) and Sameer's birth
Index of Journals
Grandma had been to US in the year 1997. It was winters, final days of December. It was for ten days, and grandma returned here after the New Year. Sameer was born a week later on 8 January 1998. After grandma returned, she didn’t find the diaries in which she had written about the family generations, starting from the lowest, uncle (Yashvir Singh Jain), dad (Babbu), to the great grand fathers of grandpa. It had very minute facts about them, which cannot be retold or recollected from memory. The blame went on aunt (Seema) and mom (Sadhana) for misplacing it, or throwing it away in trash. Aunt had verbally shot back if she was being blamed of stealing. Then grandma made clear that there was not money it the diary, that she would blame for stealing, it just had some information that was both important and personal to her. Along with the diaries, chachi had also misplaced a large silver-coin with the figure of god on it; it was given to grandma by chachaji. Grandma would be never name grandpa’s father and grandpa’s grandfather; she believes that it is disrespectful. Grandpa would use ‘LALAJI’ before the name of his father and his two uncles; it was also out of respect. Over time, Lalaji had become a synonym to refer to any of the great grandfathers for me; it was never clear to me how to differentiate one from other.
Sunday, October 24, 2021
2011-Mar-31 (Students caught cheating in ADA practical)
Index of Journals
March 31, 2011 “Why would Aditya want my writings? What is going on his mind?” Who would sing rap in Operating Systems class? He demanded this; I couldn’t think of my any of my own song, I asked if he would listen to Eminem because anyway he wouldn’t know what song it is going to be. Well, the class got over without much mess in my lap. Apurva wants to go to Google; she said when Aditya asked what we wished to do after the BTech. I had told him about GRE and GATE. That was very cool to listen to. I always thought attending to classes was useless but I now realize that taking pressure on your own head doesn’t help you score rather you add to the pressure that teachers put on students. Plus it is not that teachers put any less pressure, okay may be a few not but then others compensate for it. It is not a very good idea to miss classes. I attended to all lectures right from Computer Graphics at 8am. I even took notes for the first time in fourth semester. Sonam, Arushi, Parul, Vibha are the inspiration. I have to become a little more sincere. I need to score marks, win over teachers, and rebuild a reputation. ADA lecture was easy. Because students talked when sir was writing on the board, he skipped Topological Sorting. A few students of the right row (Nishant, Vern) requested but sir has been adamant with what he says. Later when students requested to disclose attendance count, students said their attendance is short because sir would keep them out. I asked sir what is this logic of putting students out of the class on things like coming a little late (not like 10 minutes but lesser), talking in class (even in ears). He then praised me in response to that, actually he just referred to the fact that I have thrown out only once, that when I had first time entered the class for the very first lecture of fourth semester. In the next ADA lecture that eventually was my first ADA class I was made the CR. Sir told the class to learn something from me, then he said I have an X-factor in me, and he recognized this right in my face when he first time saw me that is why he made me the CR. Next was Software Engineering, Priti ma’am had put no attendance of mine, though I had attended to one lecture of her yesterday. She is a pure bitch, both by looks and actions, so deep into bitchiness. I got one attendance out of eight. When she said it I said ‘no problem’. I talked to teacher during this one minute about batch A’s lab attendance. I just told her that one will have to show maturity, why whole batch should suffer because of a few students. She asked if I was talking about lab, and then she said that I should come later for this. I said ‘god damn it’ in Parul’s face ad I turned and walked to my seat. I wanted to just lay there and sleep at all times at college at all times. I was awake previous night. I needed sleep, my eyes were screaming this. I was snoozing in Algorithms Design and Analysis lab at 1230. Sir had sent back Faizan and Eena-Meena-Deeka for coming late after pretty much a show to watch. He was quite for two hours and then when it came to correcting files he shut everyone in the room up in last few minutes. With every student who was roll-called sir was mad, madder and more. He had checked files of B batch without even giving a look. In our case, the creepy A-batch (the batch of losers) he screamed on every single person who came for copying program with errors and writing output for it. I thought maybe I could get away easily because time was running and he wouldn’t have much time to say anything to us. But then he said he would keep the files and would check them before us tomorrow, did he mean in the class, holy-shit! I just did the Matrix Chain Multiplication and got it right. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-30
Index of Journals
March 30, 2011 I went to college without having a bath. I would have been late otherwise. I missed Algorithms Desing and Analysis class, the 8am class. I had to do an assignment of Communication Systems just copy it from the one I had brought home. I, as a CR of the class, collected the copies that were to be submitted yesterday and then asked Komal to give her copy to me for a day. I was not the only one doing that, so I was helped by the situation, benefits of being CR. I slept last night and copied the assignment in the bus. The sad point was that the teacher was absent today. We came to know this right when it was her period. I brought home all the assignment copies submitted. Because Tanvi Gautam took sir’s book yesterday in the lab and she had not returned it to him in his hands, sir could not teach us without book today. He took test. I wrote the questions and submitted the sheet after snoozing through the period. I did this only for one attendance. The college management is very serious about taking students under there control, college norms have been tightened and are anticipated to be obeyed. It is because of attendance that I am going to college. No teacher there is worth my shit otherwise (except a few). Attending Operating Systems lecture was not difficult, because the teacher do not seem to have any problem with me just listening to her and not writing anything. I wrote a sorry-application to give to Priti ma’am on the behalf of the class and then the things just messed up in the end. Irfan wrote application in my name. I took signatures of most that were present, after a few who resisted signing earlier signed later on seeing the few signatures. They think they are to decide everything that goes by, hindering even the person who steps forward to take a lead. It is Komal, and her other friends of A batch (who are known as Eena-Meena-Deeka to everyone). I could not find the teacher to show the application to her. The period starts at 1230. I came home before that, because yesterday ma’am had told that she would not be taking the lab-sessions for S1A, I had just waited to find the teacher and talk to her but that didn’t happen. When I came home, I saw five missed calls, two from Irfan, and three from Manish. When I called Manish back, he was very angry. The teacher had rebuked them for coming to the lab. She allowed a few selected students to take the attendance and then she sent all of them back. Then I called Vibha and she said ma’am even scolded her. Huh, how is that my fault? I had been doing all the work to get them to SE labs but first complete daylong they would talk of match and giving lecture a miss, they dissuade me from doing this thing today and postpone it for some other day but then they would go to lab like they run this college and get scolded by the teacher. Blame-game, which is all they are good at doing. It is India-Pakistan World cup semi-final going on since 1430, whole nation is watching. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-29
Index of Journals
March 29, 2011 College wasn’t nice. Not in all periods. I attended Priti ma’am for the first time. I had caught her eyes before but I never leapt forward to wish her. I seemed to not have any words to start with. Still it was fine as I attend my first lecture of her. She was cool, as always. She didn’t seem to hold any grudges, and I am not fit to hold any. It rather felt good to attend to her lecture, should I say relieved. Because A-batch students missed the lab session, ma’am has decided not to take any lab of A-batch in near future. I have not been to lab since I can’t remember; it has been a very long time. God, is ma’am crazy? Next was Algorithms Design and Analysis, I felt a little myself for the first time in Prashant sir’s class. Otherwise, I always had expressionless, stale face, thoughts and words (if I spoke). Sir seemed to light on me. That was good. In Communication Systems class I missed my roll-call during attendance and the teacher (Smriti ma’am, stupid sl*t) didn’t put it later when I went to her. God, doesn’t she know that I’m already running on a low. Basically, these people want respect that they don’t deserve. Is it the same with everyone? I had tried so hard to get Nitish, Sonam, and Parul to start work on Software Engineering project but these people seem busy with other work, or they are not interested. Whatever, I am out of it, what I look like to them. I wouldn’t be talking about it at first again until it is one from them to start. They were interested in putting the workload on the other people. Nitish thinks it should be Sonam and Parul. Parul said she will take time, Sonam said I should do the initialization. But, wasn’t it because of her that we chose ‘Hotel management’ thinking that she would get us a start. I am about to touch 5K mark. I have been saving money which I get to travel to college and back. I use DTC bus pass to travel free at the cost of Rs 165-per-month and save about Rs 550 every month from what I get from babaji. Bio students, hard core rote learners, study computer engineering at NIEC (ADGITM). What did they learn to use logic and not rote learn everything. Then, there are SC/ST/OBC quota students, hard workers. Yes, hard work gets those marks, and those who believe in remembering concepts for applying and not specifically writing in the exams are left behind. Management quota students are a completely different breed, who do not even fit the place but are still here. I worked on the internet on phone whole day, I had activated plan for one day to see the result but it didn’t come. Huh, I am worried. These days, my big dreams of GRE and MS seem to be bare illusions when I see that I can’t even get decent scores in terminal tests at this place not known to anybody. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-28
Index of Journals
March 28, 2011 Shruti has dropped. She thinks that Prashant need to clear the exams because the house has a bad track record for academic-droppers. She was counting on me, why would people count me with people who dropped? I never dropped if NIEC (ADGITM) is the place they call my study center. I got here in the first try. I tried for IITJEE again but that was brutally away from the way it was supposed be. My life is far more difficult than what it looks like from away. My attitude keeps people burning from inside, leading them to count on my failures. It’s philosophical; they simply want to keep their head high in their own eyes. It is not just her but everybody else along with. I hate NIEC (ADGITM). Medical students come here and do computer engineering. What the hell is that supposed to mean! Shruti Aggrawal, that nerd, who has distorted figure of every body part, used to study human-body, animal kingdoms, and plant kingdoms. Now, she is studying computers. God, she was sitting on first bench and copying some assignment when the stupid teacher was teaching. Then she would tell teacher to stop teaching. What the hell is that! I had to interrupt but then what do I say! I am pissed by my own poor results. And they are coming in a day or two now. Kriti Bahl screamed ‘ha-ha-ha, class is dead by listening to your joke’ in the same period when she was telling the teacher that it is 1:29 (referring to the time) and teacher asked what she was saying. I said that her roll number. I stayed quiet in insult. I was worried by seeing the release of USIT (University School of Information Technology). They hadn’t mentioned the name of institution. I downloaded the result and took a breath of relief. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-27
Index of Journals
March 27, 2011 I was dreaming of myself on killing spree, I had killed my family and my teachers. I don’t think I’d love to elaborate it. I had another dream in succession so I just don’t have the earlier one in mind either. I watched ‘the social network’ again. It was good, yet again. Otherwise I slept through the day. In the evening badi buaji and Shruti were here. Lately I was in amma’s room and Srishti and Anu were discussing about Shruti’s high ambitions to become the best surgeon of India, like how she said. Anu was telling how she tried to bring reality to Shruti’s mind by being negative. Anu is of course negative, just that she don’t accept it herself. Srishti was listening and it was philosophy class going on there. Philosophy can be made to work for either side, all that one need is the supporting example, quote, or story. It is why I have stopped looking at things philosophically and have started to be logical. Srishti is stupid. I had told Ankur that I would return his earphones to Shruti for carrying but I didn’t. May be I could watch a couple movies more. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-26
Index of Journals
March 26, 2011 I am still uncertain about my future. I don’t know where I would be when I will be successful, with the way I toy with my life I don’t know if I would ever be successful. There’s no way I can see in which I am getting out of this house. Even if I achieve anything by walking in the line I wouldn’t away from these people. And what I do get here, other than just being looked down at. Is it going to be this way forever, am I never going to be on my feet? I went to get my bus pass renewed and that was all I did. It left me tired, actually. I slept through the day. I got my slippers fixed today, I paid extra again, Rs 3 for a minute stitching. I had sort of verbal miscommunication with amma and babaji due to mood-off. Well, who is responsible for it, they themselves are. I was watching movie ‘Planet of apes’ on TV in the evening and then Ankur came to our surprise. Now, it is 0013 and I want to go to sleep. Not much work today. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-25
Index of Journals
March 25, 2011 Shruti Barapuria had posted on FB about building a website for 2009 batch students. I wonder if Aditya is stealing my plans and ideas about forming a community in the wake making me look like a fool. Just in case if anything like that is there, they are not going to get anything from, they are just excited with idea of it, but a practical analysis would tell them that it is not practically feasible. Dumb a***oles were trying to overrun Ashish Jain. Oh god, both Prashant and Shruti were discussing Jainism and they got shit load of knowledge about Jainism. It is all a waste of resource called ‘brain’. Last year when I was coming to college and the decision against YB (year back) was still pending in the court, I used to sit in MBA classrooms. One day I had met a guy, well dressed, dark, and tall. We were just discussing if it is right to come to this college as a B.TECH or MBA student. Then he told me one thing about those who don’t score in exams, “everybody has his own caliber”. I repeat his words whenever it comes to discussing failures these days. Who told the stupid that mosquitoes are photo-receptive? Prashant, I am talking about. “Why couldn’t I call Sonam? Why I was getting her phone to be busy?” I finalized ‘Hotel management’ with Nitish and Parul on phone. New drama at home, Anu is demanding the keys to the room in the balcony. She said that the kids who come to her room during the day leave it totally messed. Chachi is against giving the keys. Let us see what happens. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-24
Index of Journals
March 24, 2011 I was awake until four am doing Algorithms Analysis and Design programming; I had dinner just before going to bed before dawn. I had to get up late. Irfan and Shruti Barapuria called me around 9 and 0930. It was surprising to see the missed calls from their numbers. They wanted Priti madam’s number from me. I was feeling lucky to have madam’s number for the first time. Well, the people who seemed to be running the C.S1.E group on Facebook were now in need of Ashish Jain. I refused to give the number in polite words; to Shruti I just denied having it. Prachi’s result came out today. I didn’t see. What do I care, though I had taught her Number Line in September? India won the match against Australia. It was World cup quarter finals. I am happy, so is everybody else. Shruti came by to stay with us right when her exams got over (it was yesterday, I guess). Shruti came by and slept in the room while talking to us (Prashant and me). It wasn’t until 2am that I was down in the bed. She had stopped talking by then, and Prashant may be studied for a while more and then he was down too. Prachi and Shruti are both here for night stay. Had Ankur not filled my phone balance to Rs 10 I would have still remained depressed. I am thinking of going back to old times, life is never going to be easy until and unless I myself don’t make it terrible for me today. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-23
Index of Journals
March 23, 2011 People are naturally so incapable that they have to eat on those who are capable and believe in spreading the talent. They are not given appreciation and then a copy of their ideas gets more attention than their masterpiece itself, what is that supposed to mean? Aditya asked “so nobody is coming tomorrow” and he got 18 f*cking comments and my earlier post that declared that it’d off next day, didn’t get a single response! I lately found that my post was deleted, what else can they do with me? God, I am going to be pissed whole day now. Parul, how can she put down my phone after asking who is it. And basically she had herself given me the number, then why this awkward act? Now this Rs 50 ear phone is not working, why can’t god find peace somewhere else and not in troubling me. Prashant is not behind it, is he? Prxnt sir threw Aditya, Sonam, Shruti, and Srishti out for talking one by one, and that too with smile on the face. He just had to stay adamant, and make them feel more and more guilty with every sorry that they were saying. Sir is really smart. I had just gone to college to attend to SE lab but then Priti ma’am suspended it due to work load from Technophilia (Technical event of NIEC) on 26 March. God damn her. Just before when I had reached college Faizan, Rizwan, and Nitin got into mess with the security guards. Three guards had followed to distance later, they doubted the involvement of police, but it wasn’t there. I referred to Arushi (the topper) with the name Aarti. That was stupid on my side, but everybody knows how she must have felt. God, I didn’t do it intentionally, I was indeed stupid. Amma should be dead. Manju bua too. I don’t know what problem do Manju buaji have with me, why she have to be always showing me down, telling me impractical modifications for what I do, how I do. She would always suggest on cutting down my resources. Oh god, kill me! The other day when babaji was telling me that I will have to go from here if I disturb Prashant, I asked why he even brought me here if he was so incapable. That was pretty frank and nothing wrong. I gave R55 to the shoe-maker for doing job of about half the worth. I just gave him the extra to appreciate his talent and the art that is going to be lost with time. Oh, god, I screamed ‘yes ma’am’ from outside the class when attendance was going on during Communication Systems class. I had screamed twice and Smriti ma’am asked the class who it was. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-21
March 21, 2011 Babaji needn’t be that rude to me then. It does really shake your mental being. It is not good, new psychopaths are created every day. I had just given an irritating repeated look to Srishti, the bitch created a fuss about it and babaji, who was watching news, now got involved. He just said, “He is mad, mad, he is.” I walked away without saying anything. I was lucky for having woken up before babaji left for court in the morning. Otherwise I was going to miss college today. The college was fine. I got 14 in CS and 17 in DCS. I was a bit relieved after knowing this. I had to score in Neeru madam’s subject (DCS). When Raghav and I were having cheap talk Karishma was sitting behind us, and she was listening to us. It was the breast size of the Smriti ma’am (Communication Systems) that we were discussing when I noticed that it was Karishma who was sitting behind and not Chirag. Raghav bet with me that I had to get number of a girl. Of course, I wasn’t serious with it; it is not possible this easily. Dhanraj is a bit irritated with everything around; he criticizes every person around him. He told me that the class thinks that I’m a psycho. I told him, “F*ck them all,” no matter that was around. There was earth quake today around 1419, according to news channels. I thought if it was coming when I was attending DCS lecture. Prashant Jain is running on a low, funny. Exams are near because. Chachiji is on a low, funny. Prashant’s results were on a low because. In the morning Ankur called. He wanted to give me his Portable Drive for a day. I wanted it for software but it had a lot else. In the evening around seven, he called me on the metro station. As I waited for I noticed the all the girls coming in and going out the station. Oh my god! Never thought Delhi had this much to give. Basically those were the girls who travel in Metro, hot and sexy girls, tough and tight. I also met Hemanshu (my ninth standard classmate). He is studying in Kurukshetra University, first year. He impressed with his knowledge, he was never like this before. He had years of failure in school life but today the guy impressed me. I got the Drive from Ankur and came home. I abuse a lot, now it has come up from Facebook to real life. I was using word ‘PISHAAB’ (‘urine’ in English) again and again before Vibha, Irfan, and Abhishek Shukla the other day. Yesterday, Aksshita was advising me to be social on Facebook for using term ‘F*ck-that’. Today, I accidentally asked “who is barking against me?” when Srishti Jain had said something. Aksshita said she told me to be social, and then showed support by saying that ‘it is on my tongue and not on my mind’. When I was running after teachers for help, they pushed into deep shit from which I haven’t yet fully come out. They were playing games around me, testing me, sending cops and detectives after me but I have something to advice them. The teachers to the students should be like what doctors are to their patients. I was troubled with some urinal problem (like gonorrhea, not gonorrhea, of course) when I had gone to see the doctor in summers of 2009. The doctor had corrected my sentence of ‘pissing’ to ‘passing urine’ or just ‘passing’. He was mature and caring, unlike these cheap sluts who did everything to catch a stalker red-handed who never existed. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-19
March 19, 2011 I was in the balcony last evening. Hardik knew I was there. I had seen him too, but neither of us bothered to give a look. He was with his mother and that was probably the reason. Otherwise, maybe he has gained attitude over time. No, that’s, of course, not my problem. It did feel bad though. I didn’t call him because I don’t want to make any memories. I am already fighting the old ones. I was cool. Today, in the morning I saw him again. I saw from the window that he was talking to Vishwas. I wanted to go out and say them a ‘hi’ but then I controlled my feelings. He too needs to make new friends so that he can easily let me go and get lost. And, I most of the times, since many months, have hated him, he is not of my type, this decade old friendship has come closer to end. I had two dreams of me last night, me killing Prashant in my first dream, and in the second I dreamt of Anshu ma’am. When I woke up I was still thinking about the dream, but then I had to give it way off. Anshu ma’am is a bitch in real, immature street walker. Or maybe, my way of approaching her was wrong. The Delhi was in such a social scenario, it still is. In the afternoon, mamiji and Kartik were here. Not much about them. The day was basically slow, and I was not able to do much with the books either. I sit on bed whole time long, and I then don’t even understand if the fatigue is in the legs due to sitting in bed for long, or in me due to studying for long. With no tension of money I think I can log on to my profiles using my phone. I logged onto Facebook, and also wished Smita for Holi. It was perigee today, a thing that happens in every 18 years. I saw the moon from terrace and my eyes did find it a little bigger. I felt like writing down a lot of my history today but then who has that much of time. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-18
March 18, 2011 The days when the newspapers used to say only about global warming, I was scared. This fear was totally in my psyche. Chachu and chachi used to tell, every now and then, to switch off extra lights and electricity points as it used to consume electricity. By waste of electricity, they said they meant, waste of money. After listening to the same thing so many times, they had totally penetrated through my brain, to the point of madness. The fact was that newspapers had created a hype to draw attention of the masses, otherwise I can’t see any of the shit these days and it had been a long time. And these days the newspapers are saying a lot about empowering women. I can bet that this is again an unnecessary hype, nothing as realistic as it is being presented. Holi is near on twentieth. Last evening children outside were making too much noise while having fun with water balloons. They were wasting water (according me, though I was extremely into it during my days, but my last Holi was the one that followed 11th class) and making a lot of noise. I had to study but they were making it difficult. I went to the window and saw Amogh outside. I told him to shoo away the noisy crowd of children. He was having fun with them and took my words to be just casual. Actually, Amogh loved to see them play. Later, Prashant went outside and cut the wire to the electric motor. It made everyone shut. Chachi came to the room to tell Prashant that what he did was a wrong thing. I instantly spoke in Prashant‘s favor. According to me, he did nothing wrong. But, babaji, chachi, Amogh, all were against it. He then went outside to settle the issue with the society people, but I didn’t hear that because I was wired into the laptop. It was a declared holiday. It was on Facebook. I felt jealous for a second but it is okay since I’m officially not missing any class. I had logged on via MBlaze modem of chachaji. Anu had it and it had only a small amount of data packets left for use. I didn’t know that and Anu was angry over me. Erstwhile, children playing outside broke the glass of the bathroom window. Babaji rushed to see that and he slipped near the door. Anu helped him stand and he forced an irritated smile back. Prashant went outside to check who it was, it was Saatvik (Mitthoo). Chachi told all of them to collect money and pay for the mess they made. The tension these days I have on my mind is about work. I can’t find a way out to deal with the pressure. I am going to miss second semester exams; I won’t be able to deal with both of the semesters, the current, and the second. I have to make a project for SE lab by Wednesday. I learned from Ravi. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-17
March 17, 2011 I had to go to college but then I was unable to sleep last night after having such a day. It marked the end of a chapter. I cleaned my block in the shelf. I needed space to keep my net-book. It felt good. I moved some of my second semester to bookshelf, cleaned papers in the drawer, made files of them, and kept net book over there. I had to throw away about a dozen of newspaper cuttings to clean the block. It had cutting of Obama donating the money he got with Nobel peace prize, a cutting telling the story of a boy who had lived life on footpath as a child and today he is in New York as a photographer with a leading company, a cutting ‘Calmer You’ talking of how to deal mentally with short height, a cutting telling about the mathematician who refused a million dollars from a renowned mathematicians club for solving a math problem. A cutting telling about struggle students do to get into IIT. And lots of them were about giving moral lessons (a column that comes on week days). From the block in the cupboard I took out a thin pile of books to give away to needy, as the books were way too old (may be belonged to chachaji once), story books only. I had not made a joke on buaji’s age or principal’s age, but I made both. I said, “Principal must be older than Manju buaji but she has a wrinkleless face.” I had guessed buaji’s age to be 34 but she said she’s forty-plus. I was foolish in this talk, whatsoever. It probably wasn’t the reason why buaji had tried to be rude on me. I woke up late and stayed at home, though I wanted to go to college from heart. Now, it is Holi on twentieth, Sunday. Saturday is mass-bunk. Friday, students will be celebrating Holi at college so it will be useless for me to be there then. F*ck, I wonder my attendance should not fell short at the time of second terminals. “I cannot stand it how can one be attracted to every woman he sees.” I studied a little bit of Algorithms Design and Analysis in the afternoon, and then I was sleeping till late evening. I was on the net book after this, writing about past few days since when I had been writing into paper. Hope, I will be fine tomorrow. I had said that I will pay anything extra above 20K but then I didn’t. Amma was asking about it. Net book came for Rs 20800. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-16
March 16, 2011 I got my personal computer finally. It is feeling great. Now I just hope everything that follows goes well. I went to Tis Hazari Court to see babaji there. He and Manju buaji were talking to some men, probably their clients. I waved at Manju buaji from outside and then jumped back to keep away from site. Then buaji called me inside. It was easy to pass time listening to their conversation then how it was at home. I had no plans of how I was going to pass the time before I get my Notebook computer. I was nervous, I had not been this tense before since my last JEE exam. It has been more than a year to that. This was funny how I was comparing the two longest mornings of my life. I had called Chetan sir, the dealer, right around eleven. It was according to the plan in which I had one job to do after every hour. I bathed at nine, went to bank to withdraw the ten thousand rupees from cheque at ten, left for court at eleven, planned to reach the court by twelve, wait there till two as babaji had told me, and then reach Nehru Place by three. This was how I had divided my day. It was easier than thought. Babaji brought along four people with him. Babaji, buaji, his client, his society-friend, his driver, and I went to purchase a computer which had nothing to do with any of the rest the others. Babaji even got to listen from his friend due to this. He had to take his wife to the hospital at 1500 and now we had reached Nehru Place at 1459. Of course, what babaji did was not right. I was going there alone but then to be precautious I planned to take babaji (because Ankur was not helping). Eventually I was consuming the time of five people excluding myself. Manju buaji is a prick. Why was she speaking against me on most occasions though she never stood by acting mean to hamper my plans but still. She had to keep her mouth closed. We were home by 1700. Anu and Srishti took a view glances at the working of the mini-laptop. What was surprising was that chachi said I did nothing wrong in buying a mini-laptop and laptop as it is advanced technology. I did not interrupt long as I had to speak nothing. It was fun to work with the new computer. At the shop, babaji said everything he could in order to ask for a little more concession but the manager was adamant. Babaji had to give R20800 and babaji unsuccessfully tried to bring down to R20500. I called Ankur to tell him about this and he too was happy for me. I just sat till 2100 to transfer my “Impossible” folder from laptop to my notebook PC. This was surely a day, now I just hope that only the good follows ahead. God bless me Ashish
2011-Mar-15
March 15, 2011 I had enough from Ankur during these last 3-4 days. I left for Nehru Place around nine after having breakfast. After waiting for an hour I missed the first bus, second was scheduled after another hour. I had to freak out at the driver who drove away on my face, and curse him. I reached Nehru Place by catching the bus from near Akshardham. I reached the place early and so sat in stairs to wait till the whole place opens up. I visited the outlets from all leading brands and the first shop I went in, the man there shocked me. He said one can’t do programming on mini laptops. What the hell was that? He blamed it on Atom processor. He said Pentium processor is the least for C/C++ programming. I was tossed after listening to this. Some shopkeepers denied, some agreed. It was funny in the Sony outlet. Person in front was agreeing on it, and the person behind him was denying it which eventually changed to nodding saying ‘yes’. I found the notebook of my choice at Samsung. I had to call Prashant sir to ask about the confusion about Atom processor. He said big ‘yes’ at first but then shifted away saying he don’t have deep knowledge in this field and so I should better ask my friends. I later checked it on internet and it says I can do programming on mini laptop but by compromising with speed and time. I got R15000 from babaji, and buaji present there tried to create fuss about it. I haven’t bathed since four days. I smelled bad and I really created a stir in the house. I was really excited about buying a notebook. I tried to get all the money at once but babaji didn’t have it and also he wanted to come along so we postponed it for tomorrow. Manju buaji was referring to badi buaji and Anil fufaji for this work. I received call from Ankur and he referred R. buaji to me saying that I should wait for a year. That was funny. I called Chetan, the person who had showed me the notebook gave me his number, and he said I should call him before coming to the shop to buy it. It made me feel a little odd because it reminded me of the snatching incident, that had happened with me one-and-a-half years back. The shopkeeper had told me to call before coming and when I was returning from the shop I was robbed off my phone. I was unable to put my brain/thoughts in place. Even today, I am nervous and excited both at one time. God bless me Ashish
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