LegendRed: Also present in Aug 2019 Listing
Blue: New Additions in this list
~~~
1.
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
Christopher Voss, 2016
2.
Getting to Yes
Roger Fisher, 1981
3.
Negotiation Genius: How to Overcome Obstacles and Achieve Brilliant Results at the Bargaining Table and Beyond
Max H. Bazerman, 2007
4.
Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People
G. Richard Shell, 1999
5.
Getting Past No
William Ury, 1991
6.
You Can Negotiate Anything
Herb Cohen, 1980
7.
The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World
Michael A. Wheeler, 20138.
HBR's 10 Must Reads on Negotiation (with Bonus Article "15 Rules for Negotiating a Job Offer" by Deepak Malhotra)
Daniel Kahneman, 20199.
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts
Daniel Shapiro, 201610.
The Art of Negotiation: How to Get What You Want (Every Time)
Tim Castle, 2018
11.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
Kerry Patterson, 2018
12.
Bargaining with the Devil: When to Negotiate, When to Fight
Robert Harris Mnookin, 2010
13.
Difficult Conversations
Douglas Stone, 1999
14.
Start with No: The Negotiating Tools That the Pros Don't Want You to Know
Jim Camp, 2002
15.
Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts (without Money Or Muscle)
Deepak Malhotra, 2016
16.
Negotiating at Work: Turn Small Wins Into Big Gains
Deborah M. Kolb, 2015
17.
3-D Negotiation: Powerful Tools to Change the Game in Your Most Important Deals
James K. Sebenius
18.
Getting to Yes with Yourself CD: (and Other Worthy Opponents)
William Ury, 2015
19.
Negotiation: The Brian Tracy Success Library
Brian Tracy, 2013
20.
Secrets of Power Negotiating: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator
Roger Dawson, 1987
21.
Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World
Stuart Diamond, 2010
22.
The Negotiation Book: Your Definitive Guide to Successful Negotiating
Steve Gates, 2010
23.
The First Move: A Negotiator's Companion
Alain Pekar Lempereur, 2010
24.
Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life
Stuart Diamond, 2010
25.
Dealmaking: The New Strategy of Negotiauctions (Second Edition)
Guhan Subramanian, 2020
26.
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Robert Cialdini, 1984
27.
Beyond Winning: Negotiating to Create Value in Deals and Disputes
Scott R. Peppet, 2000
28.
Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate
Roger Fisher, 2005
29.
Win-Win Negotiation Techniques: Development the Mindset, Skills and Behaviours of Winning Negotiators
David Goldwich, 2011
30.
The Power of Noticing: What the Best Leaders See
Max H. Bazerman, 2014
31.
Brian Tracy Success Series: LEADERSHIP
Brian Tracy, 2014
32.
Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade
Robert Cialdini, 2016
33.
Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
Douglas Stone, 2014
34.
The Power of a Positive No
William Ury, 2007
35.
Entrepreneurial Negotiation: Understanding and Managing the Relationships that Determine Your Entrepreneurial Success
Lawrence Susskind, 2018
36.
Real Leaders Negotiate! Gaining, Using, and Keeping the Power to Lead Through Negotiation
Jeswald Salacuse, 2017
37.
Negotiate Or Stagnate: Have it Your Way, Without Showing the Highway!
Prakash Chugani, 2024
38.
How To Negotiate
Christopher Copper-Ind, 2019
39.
The Only Negotiating Guide You'll Ever Need: 101 Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation
Peter B. Stark, 2003
40.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie, 1936
41.
Negotiation Quotient: Opening the Door to a Successful Deal
Anuj Jagannathan, 2019
42.
HBR's 10 Must Reads on Negotiation
Daniel Kahneman, 2019
43.
Women Don't Ask
Linda Babcock, 2003
44.
Secrets of Power Negotiating, 25th Anniversary Edition
Roger Dawson, 2021
45.
Getting to Yes with Yourself: How to Get What You Truly Want
William Ury, 2016
46.
Negotiation: Learn How to Negotiate for Greater Business Success, and Avoid Mistakes (Master Tips and Strategies for Work, Love, Friendship and Business)
James Wardell, 2022
47.
He wins, she wins. Learning the art of marital negotiation
Willard F. Harley Jr.
Revell (2013)
We have picked some bestsellers that have helped people the world over chalk out a retirement plan.
Financial planning can be easy if you have the right tools. We pick here some bestsellers that have helped people the world over chalk out a retirement plan. Use them to fish out important guideposts, not just India-specific information.
1. ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CAREFREE RETIREMENT
Author: Gaurav Mashruwala
Publisher: Businessworld
The book looks at retirement planning for every age group and ways to manage money after the golden handshake. Apart from details on financial products available in India that can be used for an effective retirement, it uses case studies. These worked out examples help readers make an easy association.
2. GUIDE TO PLANNING YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE
Authors: Kenneth & Virginia Morris
Publisher: Lightbulb Library
This illustrated book simplifies the basic retirement planning concepts. Although retirement in India doesn’t work the same way as in the US, this book—part of a series—gives relevant pointers that can apply anywhere in the world. A handy, easy-to-read guide.
3. COMPLETE RETIREMENT GUIDEBOOK
Authors: Glenn Ruffenach
And Kelly Greene
Publisher: Three Rivers
The authors have been writing about retirement issues for The Wall Street Journal for long and have gone beyond the nuts and bolts of retirement in this book. It is replete with examples and worksheets that can help you plan your later years. It’s an American book, but has concepts that can be adapted to local conditions.
4. THE NEW RETIREMENTALITY
Author: Mitch Anthony
Publisher: Kaplan
The cleverly named book and the concept should be of interest to anyone uneasy with the traditional requirement of ending a working life at 60. Anecdotes about those who have done so, and a liberal sprinkling of inspirational suggestions from the author make the book meaningful. Read it to know how to make your desires come true after retirement.
5. GETTING STARTED IN RETIREMENT PLANNING
Authors: Ronald and Murry Yolles
Publisher: John Wiley and Sons
This book offering a simple strategy is split in four parts. It starts with the need for retirement savings, followed by a strategy for each lifestage, and for preserving wealth. Finally, it looks at the good life after retirement. The hypothetical scenarios offer realistic solutions for a range of retirement issues.
6. RETIRE YOUNG, RETIRE RICH
Authors: Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter
Publisher: Business Plus
Kiyosaki is the Oprah of finance. In this book, the fifth in the Rich Dad series, he and Lechter stress on the power of leverage. They cite their own situation of starting with nothing and retiring financially free in less than 10 years. An amazing feat and an example we can aspire to.
7. THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO RETIREMENT PLANNING
Author: Jeffrey J. Wuorio
Publisher: Alpha
The book stresses on the need for enough money after retirement and the benefits that the US social security offers—or the lack thereof—and ways to supplement them. Again, it has nothing for the Indian context, but one can take lessons from the state pension schemes and the way they pan out.
8. YES, YOU CAN STILL RETIRE COMFORTABLY
Authors: Ben Stein, Phil Demuth
Publisher: New Beginnings Press
Backed by facts and figures, the book shows exactly how much you need to save to maintain your standard of living, and how to invest to get the maximum returns from your savings. It offers tips to tap into the nest egg after you retire—in a way that you get the most money while keeping it safe.
9. START LATE FINISH RICH
Author: David Bach
Publisher: Broadway
Going by the title, one can retire rich no matter what the starting point. However, the book is only useful for those who are under 45. Anyone who reads it after this age will find it highly unsuitable. The premise of the book is that one should focus more on cutting costs than being investment-driven. Incidentally, one of Bach’s suggestions is to cut eating out!
10. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE?
Authors: Richard N. Bolles
And John Nelson
Publisher: Ten Speed
The book starts by stating that retirement today is not like the past, when it was all about money. This one is for those looking at life in retirement—it has to do with what one wants and how to get there. But, be warned. This is not really a personal finance book; it’s close to psychology.
Bonus books
11. Build the life you want (Arthur C Brooks)
Arthur Brooks co-author with Oprah Winfrey of Build the Life You Want explores the art of balancing enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning to build a fulfilling life. His insights on crafting a happiness retirement plan are eye-opening for every stage of life.
12. From Strength to Strength. Finding success, happiness, and deep purpose in the second half of life
By: Arthur C Brooks
Comment: A remarkable guide to becoming happier as you age.
5 WEBSITES THAT CAN HELP YOU KICK-START YOUR RETIREMENT PLANNING WITH EASE
1. http://www.iciciprulife.com/retirementnumber/index.htm
The site helps you figure out how much you need in retirement based on your current monthly expenses. You can then work backwards to find what you need to do to manage life after retirement.
2. http://www.six-steps.in
The community site suggests the way to plan retirement. It boasts an interactive feature that you can use to seek advice on issues specific to your case. There are enough case studies to tell you about the situations people find themselves in.
3. http://seniorindian.com
This is a one-stop storehouse of information for senior citizens, for the retired, as well as for those looking at retirement. Buzzing with news and useful tips, it can keep postretirement life easy and engaging.
4. https://www.retirementredzone.com/retirementredzone
A US-centred site promoted by Prudential, it addresses the concerns of people five years before retirement and five years into retirement. It is interactive and a good resource pool.
5. http://retireplan.about.com
This resource centre has everything you would want to know about retirement, though it’s not necessarily relevant to India. It is a good site to grasp retirement-related issues that one may have never considered.
Great leaders and organizations inspire action by starting with Why—their purpose, cause, or belief. This approach creates loyal followers, drives innovation, and sustains long-term success.
3 Key Takeaways:
Start With Why:
People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.
Inspired leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Apple, and the Wright brothers succeeded because they communicated their Why—their deeper purpose—first.
Example: Apple’s Why is to challenge the status quo and empower individuals, not just sell computers.
The Golden Circle:
Sinek’s framework: Why (purpose) → How (process) → What (product).
Most organizations communicate from the outside in (What to Why), but inspiring leaders start from the inside out.
Example: The Wright brothers’ Why (belief in human flight) inspired their team, even without resources or credentials.
Inspired employees and customers act because they believe in the cause, not because of external incentives.
Example: Harley-Davidson’s loyal community isn’t just buying motorcycles; they’re buying into a lifestyle and belief system.
Call to Action:
Reflect on your Why: What’s your purpose, cause, or belief?
Communicate it clearly to inspire others—whether in leadership, business, or personal endeavors.
Remember: People follow why you do what you do, not what you do.
Tagline: “Those who start with Why inspire action, build loyalty, and change the world.”
~~~
Ch 1: "Assume You Know" (from Start With Why)
Key Message:
Decisions based on flawed assumptions—even with good intentions or data—often lead to short-term fixes, not lasting success. True foresight comes from designing outcomes intentionally from the start.
3 Key Takeaways:
Assumptions Blind Us:
We act on perceived truths, not reality (e.g., mistaking Hitler for JFK until the date reveals the truth).
Example: Believing the world was flat stifled exploration; correcting this assumption unlocked global progress.
Design vs. Default:
American carmakers used rubber mallets to “fix” doors post-production (short-term fix).
Japanese carmakers engineered doors to fit perfectly from the start (long-term solution).
Lesson: Build systems and goals around intentional design, not reactive adjustments.
Data ≠ Foresight:
More information doesn’t guarantee success if built on flawed assumptions.
Balance logic with intuition: Great outcomes often start with clarity of purpose (Why), not just data.
Call to Action:
Question assumptions: What “truths” are guiding your decisions?
Engineer outcomes: Design systems and goals to align with your core purpose from day one.
Think long-term: Prioritize structural soundness over quick fixes.
Tagline: “Don’t hammer doors to fit—design them right from the start.”
~~~
Ch 2: "Carrots and Sticks" (from Start With Why)
Key Message:
Businesses often rely on short-term manipulations (price drops, promotions, fear) to drive transactions, but these erode loyalty and profitability. True success comes from inspiring customers through purpose (Why), not tactics.
3 Key Takeaways:
Manipulations ≠ Loyalty:
Price wars, fear tactics, and promotions drive sales but create transactional relationships (e.g., GM’s cash-back incentives led to profit loss).
1.
Man's Search for Meaning
Author: Viktor Frankl
2.
The Alchemist
Author: Paulo Coelho
3.
The Purpose Driven Life
Author: Rick Warren
4.
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Author: Elizabeth Gilbert
5.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Author: Parker Palmer
6.
The Four Agreements
Author: Don Miguel Ruiz
7.
The Happiness of Pursuit
Author: Chris Guillebeau
8.
Ikigai
Author: Hector Garcia, Francesc Miralles
9.
Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action
Author: Simon Sinek
10.
The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
Author: Howard C. Cutler, 14th
11.
The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything
Author: Ken Robinson
12.
The Power of Now
Author: Eckhart Tolle
13.
Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
Author: Martha Beck
14.
The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do
Author: Jeff Goins
15.
The Last Lecture
Author: Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow
16.
The War of Art
Author: Steven Pressfield
17.
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose
Author: Eckhart Tolle
18.
Essentialism
Author: Greg McKeown
19.
Find Your Why
Author: Simon Sinek, Peter Docker, David Mead
20.
Find Your Why – Simon Sinek
21.
How Will You Measure Your Life?
Author: James Allworth, Karen Dillon, Clayton Christensen
22.
Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything
Author: Victor J. Strecher
23.
Mastery
Author: Robert Greene
24.
Awaken the Giant Within
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho: A Timeless Journey to Discover Your Personal
Legend
Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist is more than a novel—it’s a compass for the soul. Since its publication in
1988, this global phenomenon has sold over 150 million copies, transcending cultures and generations. At its
core, the book is a deceptively simple fable about a shepherd boy’s quest for treasure, but its layers of wisdom
about destiny, fear, and the universe’s hidden language have made it a modern classic. Let’s explore why The
Alchemist continues to inspire millions to chase their dreams.
The Shepherd’s Journey: A Metaphor for Life
The story follows Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd who abandons his routine life after recurring dreams of a
treasure buried near Egypt’s pyramids. His journey is fraught with setbacks: thieves, wars, and moments of
doubt. Yet, each obstacle becomes a lesson.
Coelho’s genius lies in transforming Santiago’s physical voyage into a universal metaphor. Like Santiago, we’re
all “shepherds” navigating uncertainty, torn between the comfort of familiarity and the allure of the unknown.
The treasure, as we learn, isn’t just gold—it’s the wisdom gained by embracing the journey itself.
Lessons from the Desert: Key Themes
The Personal Legend Coelho introduces the idea of a “Personal Legend”—a unique
destiny each person is meant to fulfill. The universe, he argues, conspires to help those who pursue it.
Santiago’s mentor, Melchizedek, says: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in
helping you to achieve it.” This isn’t blind optimism but a call to action. The universe
assists only those bold enough to take the first step.
The Language of the World The desert teaches Santiago to listen to the “Soul of the
World,” a universal force connecting all things. Through patience and observation, he learns to read
omens, communicate with the wind, and even turn lead into gold (with the help of the enigmatic
Alchemist). This mystical thread reminds us to trust intuition and find meaning in the mundane.
Fear vs. Faith The Alchemist warns: “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering
is worse than the suffering itself.” Santiago’s greatest battle isn’t against external
forces but his own fear of failure. Coelho argues that regret, not failure, is life’s true tragedy.
The Treasure Within Without spoiling the ending, the book’s climax subverts
expectations. The real treasure isn’t where Santiago thought—a reminder that growth often lies in the
journey, not the destination.
Why The Alchemist Resonates Today
In an age of hustle culture and instant gratification, Coelho’s message feels radical: Slow down. Listen.
Trust the process. The book rejects the idea that success is linear. Santiago meanders, gets lost, and
even works in a crystal shop for a year—yet these “detours” shape his resilience.
The novel also champions simplicity. Coelho’s prose is sparse, almost parable-like, making profound ideas
accessible. Lines like “The secret of life is to fall seven times and get up eight” distill complex
philosophies into bite-sized truths.
Criticisms and Controversies
The Alchemist isn’t without its detractors. Some dismiss it as overly simplistic or New Age-y. Others
argue its focus on individualism overlooks systemic barriers. Yet, these critiques miss the point: The book is a
mirror. Its value lies in how readers interpret it—as a spiritual guide, a motivational tool, or a story of
interconnectedness.
Personal Reflection: My Encounter with the Book
I first read The Alchemist during a crossroads in my life. Its message—that fear of failure is more
paralyzing than failure itself—pushed me to pursue a career shift I’d long delayed. Like Santiago, I discovered
that “treasure” often reveals itself when we dare to wander off the mapped path.
The Alchemist’s Legacy
Decades later, the book’s relevance endures. Entrepreneurs quote it in TED Talks, travelers carry it in
backpacks, and dreamers gift it to loved ones. Its staying power lies in its adaptability: Whether you’re 15 or
50, Santiago’s journey reflects your own.
Coelho once wrote, “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” In a
world that often prioritizes practicality over passion, The Alchemist is a gentle nudge to keep
dreaming—and to start acting.
Final Thoughts
The Alchemist isn’t a manual for guaranteed success. It’s a reminder that life’s magic unfolds when we
align courage with purpose. As Santiago learns, the universe rewards those who pay attention to its whispers.
So, what’s your Personal Legend? And what’s stopping you from pursuing it?
TL;DR: Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist is a timeless tale about chasing dreams, embracing
uncertainty, and finding “treasure” in unexpected places. Through Santiago’s journey, we learn that fear is the
greatest obstacle—and that the universe conspires in favor of the brave.
Have you read The Alchemist? Share how it impacted you in the comments!
Then my small problem was resolved, but then the question arose: how will the children study in such a situation? Then everyone gathered at my home, my maternal home. When I got the land, it was decided, "Let Mona get something, and my brother will handle the rest." Among everyone, I had two sisters, my brother, and my parents. Both my sisters said, "Suraj, you should help Mona somehow." My brother replied, "How can I? We can’t take full responsibility for the child. Mona has no money. Howwill we give her name in the Model school? And rather put them into a government school… there’s no other way. How can we manage? We’re not influential people." Then my sister said, "No, Suraj, don’t talk like that. She’s your sister—do a little, and we’ll help a little too."
Then Didi said, "If Mona is lacking, we’ll cover it, but don’t mention the government school. Later, it might cause problems during her marriage. Whatever happens, she’s restless and sharp. Just help however you can—even ₹1000-2000." And what could he say? My brother agreed to give me ₹2000 every month and started sending it regularly.
Days passed like this. Then my mother kept insisting, "You also have to take ₹2000." She’d always call and pressure me, saying, "Look how much Suraj gives!" It hurt me deeply. So I started looking for work. First, my husband got a job as a guard at the mall. He started working there, and things improved. His salary was ₹9000, but we worried he might not last long. Who knew how many days he’d manage? Then I began walking daily to search for jobs—5 km every day. Finally, I got a job preparing tiffin for 300 people. Even though it was tough, I took it. My room was 5 km away, so I asked for travel allowance. He agreed and gave me ₹10 for commuting each way. I took charge of cooking, but he also needed someone to wash the tiffin boxes—any boy or girl. I hired a lady nearby to wash them and another to help with chopping. He paid them the same, but I took ₹3000 for them and kept ₹5000 for myself.
फिर मेरा थोड़ा सा प्रॉब्लम दूर हुआ, फिर बात यह हुई कि इतना में बच्चे कैसे पढ़ेंगे। फिर मेरे घर यानी कि मायका वहाँ पे सब एकत्र हुए थे। जब मुझे ज़मीन मिला था, तब यह हुआ कि चलो मोना को कुछ तो मिल गया, और कुछ मेरा भाई कर दे। सब लोग में मेरी दो बहन थी, और मेरा भाई, और मेरे मम्मी-पापा। तो मेरी बहन दोनों बोली कि सूरज, तुम मोना का कुछ हेल्प कर दो। तो मेरा भाई बोला कि कैसे करें? बच्चे की ज़िम्मेदारी उठाने का तो नहीं ले सकते हैं। मोना के पास पैसा है ही नहीं। तो मॉडल स्कूल में नाम क्या दे, और सरकारी में पढ़ाने का तो ले सकते हैं, और कोई रास्ता नहीं है। हम कैसे कर दें? हम कोई बड़ा आदमी तो है नहीं। फिर मेरी बहन बोली, "नहीं सूरज, तुम ऐसे मत बोलो। तुम्हारी बहन है और तुम थोड़ा कर दो, थोड़ा हम करेंगे हेल्प।"
गया कि दीदी बोली, "मोना को कमी है तो हम कर देंगे, पर सरकारी स्कूल में मत बोलो। कल को शादी भी करने में दिक्कत हो सकती है। या कुछ भी हो, इसकी चुलबुल पड़ने में तेज़ है। कुछ भी हेल्प तुम कर दो, बस तुम 1000-2000 ही कर दो।" और क्या बोले? तो मेरा भैया मुझे 2000 हर महीने देने को बोल दिया, और हर महीने 2000 भेजने लगा।
ऐसे ही दिन बीता। फिर मेरी मम्मी मुझे बहुत बोलती रहती कि "तुमको भी देना है 2000।" बहुत सूरज को देखते हैं, कितना देगा हर महीने? बोलती फ़ोन करके हमेशा बोलती। तो मुझे बहुत हर्ट होता था। फिर मैं काम खोजना शुरू की। तो सबसे पहले मेरे पति को गार्ड की जॉब मिल गई मॉल में। और वो वहाँ जॉब करने लगे, तब बहुत अच्छा हो गया। मेरे पति को 9000 की लग गई जॉब, पर डर था कि वो जॉब कर ही नहीं पाए। तो पता नहीं कितने दिन करेंगे उनका। क्या पता वो काम कितने दिन कर सकते हैं? फिर मैं रोज हर दिन पैदल जाती, काम खोजती। हर दिन मैं 5 किमी पैदल जाती और आती। फिर एक दिन काम मुझे मिल ही गया। वो जॉब मिला टिफिन का, 300 लोग का टिफिन रेडी करना था। फिर भी मैं ये काम ले ली और जाना शुरू की। तो मेरे रूम से 5 किमी दूर थी। मैं बोली कि मुझे रोज आने-जाने का किराया चाहिए। तो वो बोला, "ठीक है।" वो मुझे रोज 10 आने का और 10 जाने का दिया करता। तो मैं तो टिफिन बनाने का काम ले ली, पर उसको टिफिन धोने वाली भी चाहिए थी – कोई भी लड़का-लड़की। तो मैं अपने ही पास से एक लेडी को ले ली, वो टिफिन धोती। फिर एक और लेडी ले ली, वो मेरी हेल्प करती चॉपिंग करने के लिए। वो लोगों को भी वही पैसा देता, पर मैं ले गई थी उनलोगों को। उसने उन्हें 3000 दिया और मुझे 5000।
फिर बहुत मुश्किल से घर पर पब्लिक भी आई, मेरे ससुर एक भी मेरा इज़्ज़त नहीं छोड़े। जितना गलत बोलना है सब बोले ताकि मेरे ऊपर गंदा इल्ज़ाम लगाकर मुझे कुछ न दें। और बोले कि मैं सारा ख़र्च उठा रहा हूँ, दरोगा जी ये लेडीज़ बहुत गंदी है, ये सब बेच के हरियाणा भाग जाएगी। और भी बहुत बुरा बुरा बोले, ऐसा कोई भी मिस वर्ड बाकी नहीं था। और पूरे गाँव के सामने मेरे ही ससुर मुझे गलत साबित करने का खूब कोशिश किए। और मैं वहाँ सबके सामने अपना अपने बच्चों का भविष्य का भीख माँग रही थी। मुझे तब ऐसा पहली बार लगा कि मैं लड़की क्यों हूँ? क्या लड़की होना ही गुनाह है?
मेरे पापा मम्मी ऐसे घर में डाल दिए, तब भी मैं मजबूर थी और आज मैं एक बहू हूँ तो भी मैं मजबूर हूँ। अगर मैं बेटा होती तो मुझे खुशी से मेरा हिस्सा मिलता क्योंकि मैं बहू हूँ, बहू का कोई हिस्सा ही नहीं है। फिर मेरे पति को मिला, लोग बोले कि बहू को हिस्सा नहीं मिलता, बेटा को मिलता है। तो मैं फिर अपने पति को राजी की क्योंकि मेरा पति तो पागल है, वो तो बोल देगा कि मैं मम्मी पापा साथ रहेंगे तो मुझे हिसाब नहीं मिल पाता। फिर मैं अपने पति को समझाई और बोली कि आपको बस थोड़ा सा बोलना है, और कुछ नहीं। बाकी जो भी होगा खेती से वो सब आपको ही दे दूंगी, बस आप बोल दो कि हाँ चाहिए क्योंकि मेरे परिवार वालों को पता था कि गुड्डू नहीं बोलेगा।
लेकिन मैं सब समझा कर बुलवा दी और ये एक बार पब्लिक को बोल दिए कि गुड्डू तुम चाहते हो कि अलग हो जाए तो ये भगवान के कृपा से हाँ बोल दिए। बस उनको हाँ ही बोलना था, बोलने के बाद सब चौंक गए तो दरोगा जी जो थे वो बोले कि आपका बेटा का भी मन है तो आप देर मत करो, दे दो नहीं तो हमसे बुरा कोई नहीं है। फिर मुझे 2 बीघा मिला और बाकी पापा और देवर का है, और थोड़ा जमीन ज्वाइंट है जिसमें खाने का धान होता है, जिसमें मुझे बस 50 किलो चावल मिलता है। कितना होता है नहीं होता है मुझे कोई हिसाब नहीं मिलता फिर भी मैं मान ली चलो बाकी मैं काम कर लेती हूँ जहाँ कुछ नहीं मिल रहा था वहाँ कुछ तो मिला।
लेकिन जब मैं जमीन माँगी थी तब जुलाई था और जैसे ही जमीन मिला मेरा खाना और सब कुछ बंद हो गया। वहाँ पर एक ग्लास पानी भी नहीं था मेरा और मैं घर पर जाती तो गैस भी नहीं छुना था और ना ही कोई चीज को हाथ लगा सकते। तब मेरे ससुर सास बोलते कि ये सब कुछ बबलू का है तुम अपना जमीन लेकर अलग हो गई हो अब कुछ नहीं है। तब मेरे पर दुख का पहाड़ हो गया कि अब कैसे करूँ क्या करूँ, 4 लोग हैं खाने वाले। फिर मैं बस एक पाव दूध लेती थी रात को और बस रोटी बनाती थी और हम चारों उस दूध से 2-2 रोटी कैसे भी खा लेते।
और दिन में रोज चीला बनाती और बच्चों को वही टिफिन देती और पूरा दिन में यही चलता चीला दिन में और रात में दूध रोटी। एक पाव दूध में एक पाव पानी डालते थे और उसको बस मीठा कर देते थे और बच्चों को कभी-कभी मीठी रोटी बना देते। मेरी बड़ी बेटी को मीठा बिल्कुल पसंद नहीं था लेकिन मैं बोलती बेटा बस थोड़ा दिन का बात है मैं सब ठीक कर दूंगी। धीरे-धीरे दिन बीत गया और मैं खेती कराई और जिसके लिए मैंने पैसा लिया 10000, 4 अपना बहन से और 6 अपना भाई से। बस मैं इतना में ही खेती कराई मेरी दीदी बोली "मोना खेती मत करो तुम खेती का कुछ नहीं जानती तो कैसे करोगी"।
मैं बोली भगवान करेंगे और मैं अपने गाँव में रहकर खेती की और मेरे बगल में एक हैं, उनसे पूछ-पूछ कर करती कि कहाँ कितना लगेगा। और खेती हो गया, खेती बहुत अच्छा हुआ जितना होना नहीं चाहिए था उतना हो गया
Then, with great difficulty, some people from the community came to the house as well. My father-in-law didn't leave any chance to disrespect me. He said every wrong thing he could, so that by putting dirty accusations on me, they wouldn't give me anything. He said that he is bearing all the expenses, "Inspector sir, this lady is very bad; she will sell everything and run away to Haryana." He said many more terrible things; there wasn't a single abusive word left unsaid. And in front of the whole village, my own father-in-law tried hard to prove me wrong. And there I was, begging in front of everyone for the future of myself and my children. It was then, for the first time, I felt, why am I a woman? Is being a woman a crime?
My parents placed me in such a household, yet I was helpless then, and today, as a daughter-in-law, I am still helpless. If I were a son, I would have happily received my share because I am a daughter-in-law; there is no share for me. So then my husband received the share; people said that the daughter-in-law doesn't get a share, the son does. So I convinced my husband because my husband is mentally ill; he would say that if he stays with his parents, he won't get any settlement. Then I explained to my husband and told him that you just have to say a little bit, nothing more. Whatever comes from the farming, I will give it all to you; just say that yes, you want it because my family knew that Guddu wouldn't say anything.
But after explaining everything to him, I prompted him to speak, and once, when asked in front of everyone, "Guddu, do you want to separate?" by God's grace, he said yes. He just had to say yes. After he said it, everyone was shocked. Then the inspector said, "Since your son also wants it, don't delay; give them their share. Otherwise, there's no one worse than us." Then I received 2 bighas of land, and the rest belongs to my father-in-law and brother-in-law, and there's some joint land from which we get rice to eat. I only get 50 kilograms of rice from it. How much is actually produced, I don't get any account of it. Still, I agreed, thinking I'll manage by working; at least I got something where before I was getting nothing.
But when I had asked for the land, it was July, and as soon as I got the land, my food and everything stopped. There wasn't even a glass of water for me there, and when I went home, I wasn't allowed to touch the gas stove, nor could I touch anything else. Then my father-in-law and mother-in-law would say that all this belongs to Bablu; you've taken your land and separated, now there's nothing for you here. Then a mountain of sorrow fell upon me—how would I manage, what should I do, with four people to feed? So I would just buy a quarter kilogram of milk at night, make rotis, and the four of us would somehow eat two rotis each with that milk.
And during the day, I would make cheela (a type of pancake) and give the same to the children for their lunchbox, and throughout the day, this continued—cheela during the day and milk and roti at night. In a quarter kilogram of milk, we would add a quarter kilogram of water and just sweeten it a bit, and sometimes make sweet rotis for the children. My elder daughter didn't like sweet things at all, but I would tell her, "Dear, it's just a matter of a few days; I will fix everything." Slowly, days passed by, and I carried out the farming, for which I had taken 10,000 rupees—4,000 from my sister and 6,000 from my brother. With just that amount, I did the farming. My sister said, "Moni, don't do farming; you don't know anything about it—how will you manage?"
I replied, "God will help," and I stayed in my village and did the farming. There was someone next to me from whom I would ask and learn how much to use where. And the farming was done, and the harvest was very good—better than it should have been.
