I work a lot, but I never bend or bow down to anyone. I don’t know why, but I believe in doing my job well and with honesty. I can’t do work by groveling or falling at someone’s feet. It’s been 15 years now that I’ve been working, and I’ve never bowed down anywhere. Yes, I do respect people in higher positions at the company, but if they say something wrong, I can’t just sit and listen. One shortcoming in me is that I get very angry.
I first worked in packing, then spent about five years at a “cowalty” (livestock-related) company. After that, I went back to my parents’ home. My mother didn’t really support me there, but my sister-in-law (bhabhi) stood by me, and I stayed there for a year. Even while living there, I wanted to work, because my brother didn’t earn a lot, and our family had grown bigger—we were three (me, my daughter, my mother), plus my father, my brother, my sister-in-law, and a nephew. I was staying with them but also looking for work. During that time, my sister-in-law really helped me—she supported me in finding a job. But my mother often gave me a hard time. I couldn’t talk freely with my sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law couldn’t do much either. I don’t know what happened to my mother. A mother is still a mother—maybe there was something on her mind then. But during that period, my sister-in-law supported me, and we had a really good time together. In that one year, we never had a single argument.
Whenever I went out to look for a job, my sister-in-law would come along—she never let me go alone. I’d see a job listing in the newspaper and tell her about it. We got the paper daily, and every day I’d search it for jobs. Eventually, I found a job. At that time, I was in Bikaner; my brother was also in Bikaner, though his office was far away—he’d leave around 7 in the morning—so I was the one who made breakfast. My sister-in-law was studying then, so I helped her so she could focus on her studies. Everything was really good there; I felt comfortable, I got a job, everything was fine. Then I went to Dehri, and after arriving, I went back to my in-laws’ place.
I asked my in-laws for my share of the family land, but they refused, saying, “No, I absolutely won’t do that in my lifetime.” So I went to a public office (maybe a government complaints department or people’s court) to file a complaint, telling them, “This is the situation, I want my share.” Everyone turned against me—my paternal uncle-in-law (chacha-sasur) and the rest. It was a really bad day—like the whole world was on one side, and I was on the other. When I filed the complaint, my father-in-law came there and said, “No, she’s lying. We do everything, we pay for both kids’ education—they study in Dehri. She’s doing this just to get her share.” And to undermine me further, he accused me of being “not right,” living in Haryana, and staying with someone else. When he said that in front of everyone, I was so weak and helpless, I can’t even describe it. They said a lot more things—what can I say? From that day, I’ve hated my father-in-law. I used to love my mother-in-law and father-in-law a lot, but I’ll never forget that day when they made such terrible accusations against me. If it were up to me, I’d never show my face to them again, but what can I do—I just ignore it and leave.
The environment in my in-laws’ house is extremely toxic—worse than anything with my husband is the rest of the family itself.
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