And I’ve been stuck living out that fate. I’ve never said anything to my husband, never fought with him over anything, never expected anything. Early on, I cried a lot for him to get a job somewhere, but he just couldn’t. I’d think, “Just do something, anything,” but when he absolutely couldn’t manage, I tried everything—prayers, doctors, everything I could. Wherever he worked, after 15 days he’d leave or they’d let him go. I spoke to a lot of people on his behalf, trying to help him find work, and people tried to assist me because they would say, “You work so hard, but your husband is like this—how come?” It was obvious he wasn’t well. But I’d just say, “It’s destiny; what else can I do?” I had nothing left to say.
I ended up leaving my in-laws’ home in frustration, and to this day, whatever happens doesn’t scare me. For a moment, I forget I’m even married or whether I have children. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am or why I’m here. Then I see my daughters—I have two—and I want so badly for them to go far in life, but I don’t know if that’s in my destiny, either. Raising two kids in such expensive times is no small challenge. But trusting God feels good—couldn’t He fix it all? Of course He could. He’s God; He can do anything. I hold onto that idea, and that’s how I’ve kept working and kept educating my children. They’re in 11th and 12th grade now. Getting them this far has practically worn out my legs. I once saw a doctor, who said, “Your leg bones are weak; you’ll have to be careful.” But how many things can I take care of? Still, I go on working.
Right now, I’m in Haryana. Four years ago, I was in Rajasthan. Why? Because four years ago, I arranged a job in Rajasthan for my husband; he was paid well, and I wanted to find work there too. I couldn’t get a good job, so I ended up in a furniture company. It wasn’t really my kind of work, but I thought, “If my husband can hold on to his job, I can do any job,” and so I worked at that furniture company. It was tough, really strenuous work, but I stuck with it. There weren’t many women—maybe six or seven, and they were older. I was the only young woman, but still I worked alongside the men. Later, I managed to bring in four more women so I’d feel more comfortable. That made five of us in total, and we worked together. Everything went well.
But my luck! My husband barely lasted two months at his job. The man who got him hired (the “sir”) liked me a lot, so he wanted “Madanjeet” (my husband) to somehow keep the job so I wouldn’t face any hardship. He never said anything inappropriate to me, nor did we ever meet in person. It was just phone calls, where he’d say, “Don’t worry, I won’t let them fire him.” I was so happy—what more could I want? He’d gotten my husband a decent job, and they weren’t overworking him. Even the men who worked there, who were acquaintances of mine, would say, “Sunil sir is really trying to make Madanjeet do his share, otherwise he wouldn’t manage it.” That’s how things went. But even if you can’t manage that much—he kept having to ask for a gate pass every time—still, “sir” kept reassuring me, “It’s okay, everything will be fine.”
Then one day my husband arrived at the company, immediately asked for a gate pass, but sir said no, explaining, “You have to wait a bit. Company rules say the gate pass is given after four or five hours.” So he told him, “Somehow pass the time, wander around, don’t do any work.” What else could he do—he was on the job, too. After a while, my husband jumped over the boundary fence and ran away. Sir noticed that Madanjeet was missing. He searched everywhere, alone. Then he called me: “Where is Madanjeet?” And I replied…
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