I always talk to God about everything in my life—whether something happens or not—because every effort I’ve made so far, I’ve done in God’s name, right or wrong. For example, if I’m traveling to Bihar and don’t have a train ticket but still need to go, I just pray, “Oh God, oh Mata Rani, please protect me and let me find a good coach to sit in.” There aren’t always tickets available, and I want to sit in Sleeper class since General is too difficult for me. When I reach the station, I think about which coach I should enter and then focus on God (Durga Ma) for a moment. Whichever coach comes to mind, I stand near that one and sit inside. Somehow, I end up finding a seat and sleep comfortably.
I also want to buy a flat, but there’s no loan in my name. This is my first time dealing with a loan for a flat. Let’s see if God arranges for someone who helps me get a home. God has indeed helped me a lot; He even helped me open a new bank account. Before that, I didn’t have a proper account or papers, not even a correct Aadhaar card. One Aadhaar shows my age as much older (my father-in-law had it made for me), and then I had another one made just so I could get a job, because you can’t list a higher age for certain jobs. That’s how my situation is.
My marriage happened in a similar way. My husband is 10 years older than I am, and he also has some mental health issues. When he couldn’t hold down a job anywhere, I tried everything—astrologers and different pujas—hoping he wouldn’t quit or come home. But ever since we married, that’s been the story: he comes home after leaving every job. After I went out on my own, I took him to see a doctor, which cost me a lot of money in Dharuhera. That’s when I learned he really did have a mental health problem. Then I took him to Bihar, where he took medication for a while. I also showed him to another doctor in Bihar. He’s still taking that medication and doesn’t work—he basically just stays at home, doing whatever little he can, eating and sleeping.
Meanwhile, I keep hoping my children will study and get somewhere in life. Maybe God will help them get a job, and then everything will be fine. With that hope, I work from morning till night. When I first came to Gurgaon, I had no idea where to go or what job I’d find, but I trusted God, thinking He’d make sure things turn out well. And He has—so far, He’s done everything for me. Now I work as a cook. On days when I don’t feel like cooking or going to my job, I just look at my kids’ expenses and wonder where the money will come from. That thought alone keeps me awake, and I head off to work.
I’ve struggled a lot in my life, but I’ve kept my faith in God, and everything has kept moving forward. Now my daughter is in 12th grade and says she wants to take the NEET exam. It makes me nervous. I tell her, “Let’s see how things go. You have just four months before college.” I pray to God, “Oh God, please guide my daughter so she can get a good path and a job quickly.” I want her to do well because I’m ready to start my own business. I’m tired of doing jobs, but I haven’t quit because I don’t want my life to derail. I have a big desire to start a business. A long time ago, I wanted to open a tiffin center because I used to work in a canteen at an NIT college in Bihar. I also slept there. There was a separate snacks section that only I managed and ran. At that time, I really wanted to own something like that myself—it would’ve been so nice. I tried, but there was no support, so I gave up and focused on my job instead.
Now I think that once my daughter moves on from school, I’ll definitely start a business. Right now, I’ve left my company job to do babysitting and cooking, and that’s going well. God is always with me. I met Ashish Jain through God’s grace as well. It’s been almost three years since I got to know him. At first, there was nothing special about him—no big story—but working together brought us closer than family. It’s like if someone asked whom I trust more, my family or Ashish Jain, I’d choose Ashish Jain. I don’t even trust myself as much as I trust him. If Ashish ever needs something from me, I can’t say no. I just figure if he needs it, I’ll give it.
Once, he was in deep trouble and needed money—about three to four months’ worth. He asked everyone for help, and I overheard him. I asked, “What’s going on?” but he didn’t want to tell me, thinking, “What could she do?” I kept asking until he finally said, “Mona, I need three lakhs. I don’t know what to do; no one is helping.” He was really upset. I offered, “I can help,” and he replied, “Do you have that much?” I told him, “Not much, I have one lakh.” He said, “Okay, give it to me, and I’ll return it later.” I said I’d do it, but I was scared—it was my hard-earned money, and I didn’t want it to vanish. I explained my concerns: “If I give you this money, I hope I won’t end up in trouble.” But after thinking it through, I put my faith in God, gave him the money with no written proof, and it worked out fine. Five or six months later, my sister-in-law asked me for financial help. I told Ashish she needed money, but he said, “No, Mona, don’t give it; why would you?” Still, I couldn’t refuse my sister-in-law, so I went ahead and lent her the money. I got it back, too. Now I trust Ashish Jain so much that I even have two lakh rupees with him.
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