I am Mona Singh.
I come from a good family, with six sisters and one brother. My father worked a government job, so our budget at home was small and our family was large—six sisters and one brother. I am the second-youngest.
My father didn’t let anyone study very far. He only allowed us to go up to 10th grade so that we wouldn’t be completely uneducated. One positive thing was that we studied in English medium. However, I was only able to complete up to the 8th grade because I was married off. Perhaps there was some issue at home, or they found a groom “for free,” and so they arranged my wedding.
I got married in 2003. The wedding took place in such a terrible environment that I can’t describe it in words. If anyone wants details, they’d have to ask me directly because I can’t put it into writing.
After the wedding, my in-laws informed my family about a rule: for one full year after marriage, the bride cannot visit her parents’ home. But my brother came and said, “What kind of rule is this? We won’t let this happen.” He came two or three times to bring me home, but my in-laws had already made a plan. In our village, everything is done according to what the priest says. From the start, right after I got married, this “rule” was given to us.
My father-in-law paid the priest and hatched a plan so later, when my brother came, they would have an excuse not to let me go. And that’s exactly what happened. I couldn’t return to my parents’ house for a year. During that time, I had a daughter named Mahi.
Three years after my wedding, I finally went home. Then my husband’s younger brother got married. My new sister-in-law went back to her own family just 15 days later. So I asked the villagers, “What’s going on? When I got married, you said I couldn’t go home for a year. That was only two years ago, so how is it different now?” I asked because I wanted to learn the truth. That’s when I realized it was all just a priest’s excuse.
After I returned home, three years into my marriage, I shared all my sorrows with my family and especially my mother. My mother is very strong. I have a sister (the third-born) who understands everyone’s pain and supports us like a brother. When she heard everything, she became very angry and said we should just break away from that family. She said, “We don’t want my sister living in such a place. It’d be better if she stayed here her whole life. That place is hell. They’ve already done so much; who knows what they’ll do next?”
A huge dispute arose between my family and my in-laws. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I wasn’t very knowledgeable or mature at the time. The only thought I had was that if my husband found a job outside, everything would be okay.
Then I talked to my brother: “Brother, help him get a job. Once he starts working, everything might settle down. Maybe I can go with him somewhere, and everything will be fine.” My brother had a good job by then. After my marriage, he’d gotten a solid position. He could have hired my husband under him. So, five years into my marriage, he found my husband a job.
I always believed I had married a man who already had a stable job, but that turned out to be a lie.
When he did get a job, my husband couldn’t keep it. Every 15 days, he’d run back home. My family felt helpless, wondering what to do next. Still, my brother didn’t give up. He kept logging my husband’s attendance for almost a year to help him keep the job. Then my brother finally said, “Mona, he’s not going to hold onto this job. Do one thing: you stay here, and maybe if you’re here, he’ll actually work and won’t keep running back.” So my brother rented a flat for me and asked me to come live there. By then, I had two daughters. I left one with her grandmother and took the other to live with me in the flat.
Two months later, my husband stopped going to his job again. I don’t know if it was my fate or what, but at that same time, my brother got a promotion and had to move from Chang’an to somewhere else. So I was left alone, and my husband’s job was in jeopardy. Even then, my brother called us to his new place, arranged an interview through a friend. The friend and my husband both interviewed. His friend got the job; my husband didn’t. He might have gotten in, because everything was set up for him, but he got stuck when he misstated his salary—he didn’t notice what was printed on the papers, and he got caught. So he ended up not getting hired and came back. My brother gave him a few more chances, but if someone doesn’t want to work, no one can make them.
Time passed, and I was really distressed because I wasn’t happy at all. I didn’t know what to do. All paths felt closed. I couldn’t see any purpose to living. Nothing made sense to me.
Then I met a man. I had bought a TV from him for my daughter. I was thinking, “What do I do now? If I go back to that house, I’ll just live however they make me live. I can’t stay at my parents’ place too long, can’t bother them. They’d take me in, because they’re my parents, but I decided I just couldn’t stay there forever.”
So I made up my mind to go back and live with my in-laws.
But God had different plans. When I went to pay for the TV, that uncle explained a lot of things to me. While delivering the TV, he gave me advice and encouraged me to start working. So I did start working. At that time, my younger daughter was only a year old. The question was how to manage a job with such a small child. So I left her with my parents for a while and began working. But I didn’t have any documents. What was I supposed to do? Then that uncle suggested another idea: “Bring documents from one of your sisters and start the job.”
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