I’m about 33 years old now, but I still haven’t lost my childlike nature. Why that is, even I don’t know. I still really love to play and run around, but I just don’t have time. I have big dreams, but not about dressing up or focusing on what I wear or how I look. My dream is different—to help others. If someone needs something, I want to be there for them. Whether it’s cooking a meal or helping with some work, I want to be able to do it.
Originally, my dream was to have a bicycle so I could travel anywhere for work without spending money on transportation. So I learned how to ride a bike and bought one. Then I learned how to ride a scooter. A friend had a scooter that he lent to me. He once said, “Mona, pray to your God that I get this particular job. If your God grants it, I’ll gift you a new scooter.” So I prayed to God, and he got that job. Once his job was confirmed, he said, “Alright, then take it.” I told my sister and daughter, “Let’s see what God does.” And truly, God helped, and he was ready to give me a scooter as well. But I refused, saying, “No, it’s fine. I can manage with your scooter.” He did teach me how to ride it. After teaching me, sometimes he let me use it for commuting.
Now my dream is to learn how to drive a car. But how will that happen? It’s a bit bigger dream than my situation usually allows. Even a scooter was beyond my means, but that worked out—so maybe this one will, too. When I first got married and came to live with my in-laws, I had no clue about anything—just that I was married and had to stay there. I put up with everything because we were six sisters at home, and I didn’t get much affection from my family. Even now, nobody is that close to me—nobody checks how I’m doing. Sometimes I might call them, but they never call me unless they need something. Whatever life I’m living, I mostly share it with God, because that’s how I feel. I don’t perform elaborate worship—I just bathe in the morning, light an incense stick, and that makes me feel good.
All this time, I’ve never asked God for anything—not money, not a job. Whenever I face a challenge, I just ask, “Oh God, please stay with me and stand by me.” Saying just that makes me feel like I’m going to get everything I need. Even if I can’t sleep at night, I say, “Oh God, please help me sleep,” and then I do. It feels like He’s always there for me.
I used to work at a regular job, but for about four years now, I’ve been working in a residential society and also doing cooking. I work from 5:30 in the morning until 9:30 at night, with a two-hour break. I used to work 7-to-7 at a company, but I quit because the pay was limited—no matter how much you work, it’s still just 8 or 10 hours’ worth of wages. In my current work at the society, the more I work, the more I can earn.
One difficulty I ran into is that I want to buy a house for myself, but I haven’t been able to because the bank won’t give me a loan. I actually cried about it, saying, “I have enough money, but I can’t get the loan approved, so I can’t fulfill my dream of owning a home.” Now there’s talk of buying that house in the name of “Ashish Jain.” He’ll purchase it, and when I have enough money, I can transfer it to my name. But who knows—when the value of the house goes up, whether he’d hand it over? Maybe only God would do that kind of favor. I haven’t seen humans do that sort of thing. If it did happen, he’d be God to me.
Everything was going fine. I was working, everything was settled. Suddenly, my older brother-in-law died in an accident. Everyone else managed to go see the family, but I couldn’t, because I live alone and work. Two days later, I caught a train. Since I couldn’t get time off, I quit my job and left. My husband kept calling, asking, “When are you coming?” Right when I was about to arrive, he called and said, “Don’t come.” I asked, “Why?” He said, “Everyone’s saying that if you’re not living with your husband, why come here?” That’s how it is—meanwhile, I still send money to my husband, cover all my child’s expenses, and am expected to live with them. I don’t know what kind of family I married into. My own family is strange, too—they don’t give me anything, nor does my husband have the capacity to earn. Their thinking (and my family’s thinking too) is, “You should just live in the village, eat whatever’s there, and let your kids get by however.” I don’t like that at all.
So that’s how my life’s going. Now I’m on my way to the village. What should I do, how do I protect my dignity? Because I took leave under the pretense that there was some issue, so I can’t go back there (to my old job). So I won’t actually go to the village but stay somewhere else, in Dehri maybe, and leave in a few days. I finally arrived at the village, and everything was normal. There’s one of my uncle’s daughters-in-law who is very arrogant and cunning—always gossiping about me here and there. She’s not a nice person, and she’s full of pride, always finding faults. I have no idea how people like that manage in life—maybe God stands by them too. She’s so spiteful that she knows exactly how to badmouth someone.
But I leave it to God. I trust God completely. I just need to get through a day or two somehow. “Oh God, protect me—everything is in your hands.” I stayed there for four days, and it was okay. Everyone kept saying, “Stay with your husband.” But how do I explain why I don’t stay with him? I just say, “I can’t; I have no choice. He’s better off at home—he does no work outside, and he gets meals there. If I stay with him and something goes wrong, I’ll be blamed—I’m already looked down on for working alone. People don’t believe I live by myself. I’m still young, so they wonder how I manage.”
Nobody knows that even if I lived with him, I wouldn’t do much. I ended up with two kids, but I don’t even know how it happened—just that it did. Love and “just getting by” are very different things. If it were truly love, maybe the kids wouldn’t have been born under such pressure. “Society” just says, “You have to do this,” and in the process, kids happened. I have no clue what “feeling” or “husband’s love” is. My parents married me off, and I tried hard to fix the situation, but eventually, when it didn’t work, I left everyone’s judgments behind and focused on my job. Now I’m so busy with work that I have no time to overthink.
People don’t believe I live alone because I’m always cheerful. I love making videos, so I make them. People think, “We don’t know where she stays or how she lives so nicely,” and they jump to the wrong conclusions. They don’t consider that I might be working hard, so I can live comfortably. They assume, “She must be living with someone, there has to be someone else.” They only see it negatively. It used to bother me a lot, but now I don’t care at all.
Even so, I behaved as if everything was fine and I had no problems. I used to tell my husband every day, “Go, find some work, it’ll be better.” My in-laws would get very upset about this and would say, “Look at her, she’s telling her husband to go earn money,” and they would scold me harshly. Life became such that I felt I wasn’t even like a living corpse—because even a corpse eventually ends, it’s cremated. But I was stuck in between, with death on my mind all the time. My family back home also said, “What’s done is done, now this is your whole life.” When I’d remember those words, I would think, “What do I do now? The situation at my in-laws’ is like this, and at my parents’ is that.”
I never pinned my hopes on my parents because my mother is a bit different, and by then, I’d placed all my faith in God—only He would do what had to be done. I trusted Him deeply—so much so that when I first went out to work, I earned very little and my children used to fall ill. Before leaving for my job, I would leave my children under God’s care—placing a picture of Him with some medicine—and tell my daughter, “Take this medicine, give it to your sibling if needed; I’ll come back in the evening.” I did my job at the company, but spent the whole day remembering God—Durga Ma—saying, “Mother, she’s not really my daughter, she’s yours, so please watch over her until I return.” I’d say this and go to work without worry, confident that my daughter would be fine.
When I returned home in the evenings, I always brought something with me—my kids would eat it. That was part of my daily routine. Even to this day, my children have never asked for anything or thrown a tantrum. If I handed them 10 rupees, they would just keep it aside and wouldn’t buy anything themselves. I’d say, “Go buy something,” but they wouldn’t. Other kids eat various things from shops all day, and I’d think maybe my children would want to as well, but they didn’t. Until now, they’ve had this habit that if I bring something, they’ll eat it, otherwise they won’t go to the shop on their own. My daughter is in 12th grade now and still does the same—she only eats what’s at home, doesn’t go out, doesn’t roam around, and doesn’t overthink. She just eats, goes to school, sleeps—that’s how it has been until now.
These days, I pray to God, saying: “Oh God, I don’t have big dreams, but please make something good happen,” because I’ve raised her through a lot of hard work, taught her well. I’ve faced many hardships myself but never let my daughter suffer because of it. Yes, maybe she had some small discomforts, but given my own conditions, I protected her from much of it, especially ensuring she ate well and studied.
When my daughter’s first birthday came around, I wanted to buy her new clothes and asked my father-in-law to bring them from a shop in the village (a bit far). I saved every little bit of money myself but realized that if I went, I’d have to pay for transportation, so I asked my father-in-law to bring them. I wrote a short note for the shopkeeper, thinking, “My father-in-law will provide some clothes for my daughter, so why not give him a note explaining her size and which outfit to get,” since we didn’t have phones at that time. I handed him the note, saying it had the dress measurements and which dress I wanted. My father-in-law brought it. They never let my husband go anywhere, saying, “Where would he go? We’ll bring it.” My father-in-law’s mindset is odd—even now he’s that way. He doesn’t let his older son do any work; I don’t know what kind of parents they are.
I was very stressed living in the village under those conditions and kept telling my husband, “Go find work outside,” but he couldn’t manage it and would come back. That’s how 20 years passed—my childhood and youth went by without me even realizing it. In that span, I had two children, and then I left on my own to find work. At the time, I was still quite young and not very mature. Yes, I avoided getting too close to men or being interested in them, though I did talk to them. My friends would say, “You should have a friend you can chat with, to pass the time—you’re so different.” But I’d say, “No, everyone should do their duty, but don’t waste time hanging out pointlessly. I’m not interested in men.” They would reply, “Not all men are the same; at least talk to them,” but I wouldn’t.
Some guys would ask for my mother’s phone number, saying: “You always get angry, you answer back sharply, but we still like you.” I never dressed up for work—just went simply—because I believed if you dress up too much, it might attract attention, and I didn’t want that. So I stayed the way I was.
तो भी मैं ऐसे रहती कि जैसे मुझे कोई दिक्कत नहीं। मैं अपने पति से रोज़ कमाने को बोलती कि “जाओ, कहीं काम कर लो, तो ठीक रहेगा।” इस बात पर भी मेरी सास-ससुर मुझसे बहुत नाराज़ होते, कहते, “कैसी है, अपने पति को कमाने के लिए कहती है,” और बहुत खरी-खोटी सुनाते। जिंदगी ऐसी बन गई थी मानो मैं एक ज़िंदा लाश भी नहीं हूँ, क्योंकि लाश का भी अंत होता है—आख़िर में उसे जलाया जाता है। पर मैं तो वो भी नहीं—हर समय बस मरना ही दिखता था। मायके वाले भी यही बोलते थे कि “जो हो गया, सो हो गया, अब यही तुम्हारा सब कुछ है।” ये बातें याद करती थी तो सोचती, “अब क्या करूँ? ससुराल में ऐसी स्थिति और मायके में वैसी।”
मैं कभी भी मायके से उम्मीद नहीं रखती थी क्योंकि मेरी माँ थोड़ी अलग हैं, और अब तो बस भगवान पर ही आसरा था कि वही करेंगे, जो करना होगा। मुझे अपने भगवान पर बहुत भरोसा है—इतना भरोसा कि जब मैं बाहर आई थी जॉब करने, मेरे पास कम पैसे मिलते थे और बच्चे बीमार पड़ते थे, तो मैं जॉब पर जाने से पहले अपने बच्चे को भगवान के पास छोड़ देती थी—उनकी एक फोटो रख देती, साथ में दवा—and मैं अपनी बेटी से कहती, “बेटा, ये दवा दे देना, मैं शाम को आऊँगी।” और मैं कंपनी में काम तो करती, पर सारा दिन भगवान को ही याद करती—दुर्गा माँ को, कि “माँ, वो मेरी बेटी नहीं, वो आपकी ही बेटी है, आप उसे संभाले रखना जब तक मैं जॉब पर हूँ।” ये बोलकर मैं निश्चिंत होकर काम करती थी, और मुझे पूरा भरोसा रहता था कि मेरी बेटी ठीक रहेगी।
जब मैं शाम को घर आती, मेरी आदत थी कि कुछ लेकर ही आती—और मेरे बच्चे खाते। ये मेरा रोज़ का ही रूटीन था। आज तक मेरे बच्चों ने कुछ माँगा नहीं, न ही कभी जिद की। मैं कभी 10 रुपये भी दे दूँ तो वैसे ही रख देते, ख़ुद नहीं लेते। मैं बोलती, “बेटा, कुछ खरीद लो,” पर वो नहीं लेते। बाकी बच्चे दिन भर दुकान से कुछ न कुछ खाते हैं, तो मैं सोचती कि शायद इन्हें भी चाहिए होगा, पर नहीं। आज तक उनकी यही आदत रही कि मैं ले आऊँगी तो खाएँगे, वरना ख़ुद से दुकान पर नहीं जाते। आज मेरी बेटी 12वीं में पहुँच गई, फिर भी वही है—जो घर में है, वही खाती है, कहीं जाना या घूमना नहीं, न ही फ़ालतू में कहीं दिमाग़ लगाना। बस खाना, स्कूल जाना और सो जाना—आज तक यही चल रहा है।
अब बस यही प्रार्थना करती हूँ भगवान से कि “हे भगवान, ज़्यादा सपना नहीं है, पर कुछ अच्छा कर देना,” क्योंकि मैंने बहुत मेहनत से पाला है उसे, पढ़ाया है। मैंने खुद बहुत कष्ट झेले हैं, पर अपनी बेटी को अपनी तरफ़ से कोई दिक्कत नहीं होने दी। हाँ, थोड़ा-बहुत तो हुआ ही होगा, पर मेरी हालत जैसी थी, उस हिसाब से मैंने उसे ज़्यादा तकलीफ़ नहीं आने दी, खाने-पीने और पढ़ाई का बहुत ध्यान रखा।
जब मेरी बेटी का पहला जन्मदिन था, तो उसके लिए कपड़े ख़रीदने मैं अपने ससुर को बोल रही थी कि “ला दीजिए,” गाँव में ही दुकान थी, थोड़ा दूर पर। मैं खुद ही पैसे जोड़-जोड़कर ये सब करती थी, तो सोचती थी कि अगर मैं जाती, तो किराया लगता, इसलिए मैंने अपने ससुर से ही लाने को कहा। दुकानदार को एक लेटर लिखकर दिया था मैंने, सोचती थी, “मेरी बेटी के लिए कैसा भी कपड़ा पापा दिला देंगे, क्यों न मैं एक लेटर दे दूँ,” ताकि वो समझ जाए, क्योंकि उस समय फ़ोन नहीं था। मैंने लेटर दे दिया और कहा कि इसमें ड्रेस का नाप और कौन-सा ड्रेस चाहिए लिखा है। मेरे ससुर ले आए। क्योंकि मेरे पति को कहीं जाने नहीं देते थे कि “कहाँ जाएगा? हम ले आएँगे।” अजीब दिमाग़ है मेरे ससुर का—आज भी वैसा ही है। कोई काम अपने बड़े बेटे से नहीं कराते, पता नहीं कैसे माँ-बाप हैं।
मैं इन बातों से गाँव में बहुत टेंशन में रहती थी और अपने पति को बाहर भेजती कि “जाओ, बाहर जॉब करो,” लेकिन वो कर नहीं पाते और घर लौट आते। इसी तरह 20 साल निकल गए—ना बचपन समझ आया, ना जवानी, कुछ पता ही नहीं चला। इसी में घिस-पिटकर दो बच्चे हो गए, और मैं अकेले बाहर जॉब करने निकल गई। उस वक़्त उम्र भी बहुत कम थी, समझदारी भी कम थी। हाँ, लड़कों से बच-बचकर रहती थी, बातें करती थी पर इतना इंट्रेस्ट नहीं था। मेरी सब फ्रेंड कहती थीं, “यार, कोई दोस्त होना चाहिए, जिससे तुम बात करो, टाइम पास करो, पर तुम तो हटके हो।” मैं एक ही बात बोलती थी, “नहीं, सब अपना कर्म करो, पर ‘कुकुर के फेरा’ में मत रहो (फ़ालतू घूमना-फिरना मत करो)। मुझे लड़का पसंद नहीं है।” वो कहतीं, “यार, सब एक जैसे नहीं होते, तुम बात तो करो,” पर मैं नहीं करती।
कुछ लड़के मेरी माँ का नंबर माँगते कि “तुम कितना ग़ुस्सा करती हो, हमेशा उल्टा जवाब देती हो, फिर भी अच्छी लगती हो।” मैं कभी भी सज-सँवरकर कंपनी नहीं जाती थी, बहुत सादगी से जाती थी, क्योंकि मुझे बस इतना पता था कि ज्यादा सज-सँवरकर नहीं जाने से कोई उतना ध्यान नहीं देता, इसलिए मैं ऐसे ही रहती थी।
And now I’m with Ashish. Whatever problems or joys I have, I just tell him. My daughter is now in 12th grade, and that really worries me. All I want is for her to do something soon and pick a good course that doesn’t take too long. But she’s talking about taking NEET, and I’m afraid—wondering how it will all work out, especially since I don’t know much about it. I pray to God that she chooses a good path and finds a way to finish her studies quickly. I can’t tell my daughter directly that we’re short on money, but I can tell God. So I don’t tell her; instead, I pray to God, trusting He’ll work something out. For now, my life is going smoothly—my job is fine, and the budget is okay.
My husband lives in our village. I got two bighas of land as my share, and I have it farmed; we get some money from that. We’ve been farming for seven years without issues. But now there’s a new tension at home because my husband has started staying in the village. My mother-in-law cooks the meals that my husband eats, and he helps out a bit around the house. We have cattle at home, and he takes care of them and milks them. But the family has started asking him to pay for the food—imagine that. They even demand money from their own son for two rotis. My husband is simple-minded, so I tell him, “If you’re going to live in the village, then figure out your meals yourself. What can I do from here? I’m working, looking after the kids, and have so many responsibilities.” Things stay calm for a while but then revert to the same old problems. I just hope my daughter picks some quick course and gets settled, because I don’t have much in my budget. Most of our money goes toward food, phone bills, the children’s school, tuition, and my daughter’s other needs. I’ve raised her really well—made sure she eats and drinks well. Whether or not we have money, I’ve never let her feel deprived, never said no to anything.
When I was in the village, I also worked—managing responsibilities at home. Our house in the village was being built, and about ten laborers came from outside to do the construction. The question arose: who would cook for those ten people? Either we’d hire someone, or one of those workers would have to cook. I spoke privately with my brother-in-law, saying, “Can I do this job? Whatever you’d pay them, just pay me instead.” He laughed and said, “Come on, Sister-in-law, why do you need to do that? You have everything you need at home—just tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.” I replied, “No, Munna-ji, I don’t need anything. Just tell me—can I do this work? I like to work.” He agreed, saying, “No problem, go ahead. It’s all at home anyway; we have the gas stove and utensils.” Then I said, “Please don’t tell my father-in-law I’m getting paid for it, or he won’t let me do it.” He said, “Alright, it’s settled. Start cooking tomorrow.” I added, “I need some payment in advance,” and he said, “Sure, whatever you want,” and gave me 9,000 rupees upfront.
When my father-in-law came from Ranchi and heard, “Mona’s taking over the cooking,” he was delighted. “This is great,” he said, “Mona will cook,” because they’d save the cost of hiring a cook—three people were pooling money for the house, plus my father-in-law contributed, so he was happy. It wasn’t out of kindness that he let me do it; he just saw an opportunity to save money. But I knew how it really worked. I took payment for my cooking and had already collected an advance from my brother-in-law. I cooked for about two or three months. Then, when it was time to pay me, my father-in-law found out that “Mona is taking money.” He made a huge fuss: “This is housework, and she’s charging money?” I said, “Why shouldn’t I? When the household itself tells its own daughter-in-law, ‘We don’t have money,’ even though we’re farming, selling milk, and I’m here looking after everything—your son, the house—and I’m your daughter-in-law too, why can’t you pay me for my work?” Those things made me really sad. I saved every rupee I earned to take care of my own needs, and when I visited my parents, I’d say, “I got this money from there,” and use it for my daughter, buying her creams, paying off small loans, and anything else she needed. It was painful living there—I would cry over small things, from underwear to vests, because I had to beg for them. Whenever I needed something, I’d ask my husband, who would ask my mother-in-law, who would ask my father-in-law—and only then would I get it. That was my reality in those days. I had no desire to go on living like that, yet still I…
और अब मैं आशीष के साथ हूँ। जो भी दुख-सुख होता है, उसे बता देती हूँ। अभी मेरी बेटी 12वीं में आ गई है, उसी की बहुत टेंशन रहती है मुझे। बस यही चाहती हूँ कि वह जल्दी कुछ कर ले और जल्दी कोई अच्छा कोर्स चुन ले, जो कम समय का हो। पर देखो, वह NEET करने की बात करती है। मुझे डर लगता है कि कैसे होगा, पर पता नहीं, क्योंकि मुझे उतना नॉलेज नहीं है। भगवान से यही प्रार्थना करती हूँ कि वह कोई अच्छा रास्ता चुने और जल्दी पढ़ाई पूरी करने वाला रास्ता निकाले। बस मैं अपनी बेटी को तो नहीं बता सकती कि पैसे की दिक्कत है, पर भगवान को तो बता ही सकती हूँ। इसीलिए बेटी को ना बताकर भगवान को ही बता देती हूँ और मुझे भरोसा है कि भगवान कुछ न कुछ करेंगे। अभी मेरी लाइफ़ में सब ठीक चल रहा है—जॉब भी ठीक है और बजट भी ठीक है।
मैं और मेरे पति गाँव में रहते हैं। मैंने दो बीघा ज़मीन ले ली है हिस्से में, उसी में खेती करवाती हूँ। उससे थोड़ा पैसा आ जाता है। खेती करते-करते 7 साल हो गए, सब ठीक था। पर अब फिर से घर में टेंशन चलने लगा, क्योंकि मेरे पति गाँव में ही रहने लगे हैं। तो मेरी सास जो खाना बनाती है, वही मेरे पति भी खाते हैं, और वे थोड़ा बहुत घर का काम भी कर देते हैं। घर में काउल्टी (पशुओं की देखरेख) है, उसका दूध भी निकालते हैं। पर अब वो लोग खाने का पैसा माँगने लगे—मतलब, क्या बताऊँ। वो अपने बेटे से भी दो रोटी का पैसा माँगते रहते हैं। मेरे पति सीधे हैं, दिमाग से। मैं बोलती हूँ, “जब गाँव में रहना है, तो अपने खाने का इंतज़ाम खुद देखो। मैं यहाँ से क्या ही करूँ? मैं जॉब करूँ या बच्चों को देखूँ या इतनी सारी ज़िम्मेदारियाँ निभाऊँ?” कुछ दिन सब ठीक रहता है, फिर वही चल रहा है। बस मैं यही सोचती हूँ कि मेरी बेटी जल्दी से कोई जल्दी वाला कोर्स कर ले और कहीं सेट हो जाए, क्योंकि मैं इतनी बजट में नहीं हूँ। सारा पैसा खाने, फोन में, बच्चों के स्कूल, ट्यूशन और बेटी के मेंटेनेंस में खर्च हो जाता है। मैंने अपनी बेटी को बहुत अच्छे से पाला है, अच्छा खाने-पीने का ध्यान दिया है। पैसे रहें या न रहें, कभी भी उसे कोई दिक्कत नहीं होने दी। कोई भी चीज़ के लिए मना नहीं किया।
जब मैं गाँव में थी, तब भी मैंने काम किया—अपने ही घर में ज़िम्मेदारियों का काम किया। मेरा गाँव में घर बन रहा था, तो बाहर से क़रीब 10 मज़दूर आए थे घर बनाने के लिए। बात ये हुई कि उन 10 लोगों का खाना कौन बनाएगा? या तो किसी को रखना होगा या उन्हीं में से किसी एक को खाना बनाने पर लगा देना होगा। तब मैं अपने देवर को अकेले में बुलाकर बोली, “क्या ये काम मैं कर सकती हूँ? जो पैसा उन्हें देते हो, वो मुझे ही दे दो।” वो हँसने लगे और बोले, “अरे भाभी, आप कैसी बात कर रही हो। आपको काम करने की क्या ज़रूरत? घर में क्या कमी है? जो चाहिए हो, मुझे बता दो, मैं दे दूँगा।” मैं बोली, “नहीं मुना जी, मुझे कुछ नहीं चाहिए, बस बताओ क्या मैं ये काम कर लूँ? मुझे काम करना पसंद है।” तो वो बोले, “कोई बात नहीं, आप कर लो। घर में ही तो बनाना है। गैस और बर्तन-सामान सब आ गया है।” फिर मैं बोली, “मेरे ससुर को मत बताना कि मैं पैसे लेकर बना रही हूँ, नहीं तो वो बनाने नहीं देंगे।” तो वो बोले, “ठीक है, पक्का हो गया। आप कल से खाना बना देना।” तो मैं बोली, “पहले एडवांस देना होगा।” वो बोले, “ठीक है, जो कहो।” और उन्होंने मुझे 9000 एडवांस दे दिए।
राँची से जब मेरे ससुर आए और सुना कि “मोना खाना बनाने का ज़िम्मा ले रही है,” तो वे बहुत ख़ुश हुए। बोले, “ये तो अच्छा है, खाना मोना बना देगी,” क्योंकि उन लोगों का खाना बनाने का खर्च बच गया—तीन लोग मिलकर घर बनवा रहे थे, तो तीनों का पैसा लगना था, और मेरे ससुर भी देते। इसीलिए वो ज़्यादा ख़ुश हो गए। उनमें दया नहीं थी कि “ये क्यों बनाएगी,” बल्कि उन्हें लगा कि उनका पैसा बचेगा। पर मुझे पता था कि कैसे करना है। मैं तो पैसे लेकर बनाती थी, और मैंने अपने देवर से एडवांस ले लिया। 2-3 महीने ही खाना बनाया था, फिर जब पैसे देने का टाइम आया, तो मेरे ससुर को पता चल गया कि “मोना पैसे ले रही है।” उन्होंने बहुत विवाद किया कि “घर का काम है, और ये पैसा ले रही है?” तो मैं बोली, “क्यों न लूँ, जब घरवाले ही ऐसे हों कि अपनी ही बहू से कह दें ‘कहाँ से दे, पैसा है ही नहीं,’ जबकि खेती हो रही है, दूध भी बिक रहा है, और मैं यहीं पर सबका ध्यान रख रही हूँ—आपका बेटा भी तो यही है, और मैं आपकी बहू हूँ—तो आप उसे कोई भी काम के लिए पैसा क्यों नहीं दे सकते?” इन सब बातों से मैं बहुत दुखी रहती थी। मैं पैसे बचा-बचाकर अपनी ज़रूरतें पूरी करती थी, और उसी पैसे को मैं जब मायके जाती थी, तो बोलती, “वहाँ से इतना मिला है,” और अपनी बेटी का ध्यान रखती, उसका क्रीम, लोन या जो भी ज़रूरी चीजें होतीं, ले आती। मैं वहाँ बहुत दर्द में रही—छोटी-छोटी चीज़ों के लिए रोया करती, चड्डी से लेकर बनियान तक के लिए तरसती थी। जब ज़रूरत होती, तो मैं अपने पति से कहती, मेरे पति मेरी सास से, और सास मेरे ससुर से—तब कहीं जाकर मुझे मिलता। यही हाल था उन दिनों। मुझे जीने का मन नहीं करता था, तब भी मैं...
मैं उस पर बहुत भरोसा करती हूँ। मैंने अपना कीमती सामान भी उसी के पास रख दिए हैं, उसी के रूम में। वो अच्छा है। पहले तो बस ऐसे ही, आती थी, कुकिंग करती थी और चली जाती थी। पता नहीं कैसे इतनी गहरी दोस्ती हो गई। मतलब अब इतना हो गया है कि एक चॉकलेट भी उससे पूछकर खाती हूँ—“खाऊँ या नहीं?” वो बोलेगा “ले लो,” तो लेती हूँ, नहीं बोलेगा तो नहीं लेती। ड्रेस खरीदनी हो तो भी उससे पूछती हूँ, “ले लूँ ये?” वो कहे “ले लो,” तब लेती हूँ, जबकि पैसा मेरा ही होता है।
आशीष ने आज तक मुझे कुछ भी यह कहकर नहीं दिलाया कि “ये कपड़े ले लो” या “मेरी तरफ़ से लो,” पर मुझे बुरा भी नहीं लगता। मेरी एक दोस्त कहती है, “तुम इतनी मदद करती हो, और वो तुम्हें 100 रुपये के सामान का भी स्क्रीनशॉट भेज देता है, बताओ!” मैं कहती हूँ, “जाने दो यार, मुझे किसी से लेना पसंद भी नहीं।” फिर भी वो दोस्त बार-बार यही बोलती रहती है। मैं उसे समझाती हूँ कि वह (आशीष) मुझे बहुत इज़्ज़त देता है और मेरी हिम्मत बढ़ाता है।
अब तो हालत ये है कि मैं कोई भी काम करना चाहूँ, तो लगता है, “कर लूँगी, आशीष है न!” वो मेरी बहुत केयर करता है। मुझे लगता है कि उसे मेरी परवाह भी है। मैं कभी बीमार पड़ती हूँ, तो वो बिना कहे दवाई लाना, देना, चाय-पानी सब करता है। मेरे लिए इतना ही बहुत है। पैसा ही सब कुछ नहीं होता—प्यार और परवाह भी ज़रूरी होते हैं।
मन में ऐसा लगता है, जैसे “हम तुम्हारे हैं सनम” में माधुरी और सलमान की दोस्ती थी—वैसा दोस्ताना है हमारा। उसके साथ मेरा एक रिश्ता नहीं है, पर बाक़ी कई रिश्ते हैं—मीत, दोस्त, बहन जैसा—और आज के समय में ये सब बहुत मायने रखता है। मैं लड़की हूँ, वो लड़का है, हमारी उम्र भी लगभग समान है। मैं जॉब करती हूँ, फिर भी वो मुझे सपोर्ट करता है, हिम्मत देता है। मुझे लगता है कि हमें भगवान ने ही मिलवाया है।
मुझे तो कुछ नहीं होता, पर जब वो मुझसे दूर जाने को कहता है, तो मुझे बहुत दुख होता है—सोचती हूँ, “मैं कैसे रहूँगी?” पर जो होना होगा, वो तो होगा ही। जितने दिन का साथ है, उतने दिन रहेंगे। आगे पता नहीं किससे मिलना होगा या क्या होगा, लेकिन हर सफ़र में अब तक मुझे अच्छे लोग ही मिले हैं। मेरी दीदी कहती है, “ऐसे कैसे भरोसा कर लेती हो, इतना बड़ा रिस्क ठीक नहीं।” मैं जवाब देती हूँ, “मेरी पूरी ज़िंदगी ही रिस्क से भरी है—जहाँ जाती हूँ, जो करती हूँ, हर काम में रिस्क है।”
मैंने कहीं सुना था, “हिम्मत ही मर्द है, मर्द-मर्द नहीं है। जिसके पास हिम्मत है, वही असली मर्द है।” बस यही याद करके मैं भी चल देती हूँ—“हिम्मत ही मर्द है, चलो चलते हैं।”
I trust him deeply. I’ve even left my valuable items with him, in his room. He’s a good person. In the beginning, I would just come, cook, and leave. I don’t know how our friendship became so strong. It’s gotten to the point where I won’t even eat a piece of chocolate without asking him, “Should I eat it or not?” If he says “Go ahead,” I eat it; if he doesn’t, I won’t. Even if I want to buy a dress, I ask him, “Should I buy this?” If he says yes, then I do—though I’m spending my own money.
Ashish has never bought me anything with words like, “Here, take these clothes, it’s my treat.” Yet I don’t mind at all. One of my friends says, “You do so much for him, but if he buys something worth even 100 rupees, he sends you a screenshot about it—imagine that!” I tell her, “Let it go. I don’t like taking anything from people.” Still, she keeps bringing it up. I explain that he (Ashish) respects me a lot and encourages me.
Now it’s at a stage where if I want to do something, I think, “I can do it—Ashish is there!” He cares for me a lot. I feel like he truly worries about me. If I ever fall ill, he’ll bring me medicine and tea or water without even being asked. That alone means a lot to me. It’s not all about money—affection and concern matter, too.
It feels like the friendship between Madhuri and Salman in “Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam.” We don’t have just one kind of bond; we share many—friendship, a sibling-like closeness—and these things really matter these days. I’m a woman, he’s a man, and we’re about the same age. I work, and he still supports me and boosts my confidence. It’s like God himself made us cross paths.
I’m usually fine, but when he talks about going away from me, it really hurts. I wonder, “How will I manage?” But whatever is meant to happen will happen. We’ll stay together as long as we’re meant to. Who knows whom I’ll meet or what will happen down the road, yet I’ve always encountered good people in every journey. My sister asks, “How can you trust so easily? It’s a big risk.” I tell her, “My whole life is a risk—wherever I go, whatever I do, it’s always a risk.”
I once heard someone say, “Courage is manliness; being a man is not just about being male. Whoever has courage is the real man.” I keep that in mind and move forward: “Courage is manliness—let’s go.”
Synopsis
Global banks may cut up to 200,000 jobs in the next three to five years due to AI. Positions in the back office, middle office, and operations are most at risk. Customer services and know-your-customer roles may also change. AI tools are expected to increase productivity and revenue for banks.
Global banks are expected to cut as many as 200,000 jobs in the next three to five years as artificial intelligence encroaches on tasks currently carried out by human workers, according to Bloomberg Intelligence.
Chief information and technology officers surveyed for BI indicated that on average they expect a net 3% of their workforce to be cut, according to a report published Thursday.
Back office, middle office and operations are likely to be most at risk, Tomasz Noetzel, the BI senior analyst who wrote the report, said in a message. Customer services could see changes as bots manage client functions, while know-your-customer duties would also be vulnerable. “Any jobs involving routine, repetitive tasks are at risk,” he said. “But AI will not eliminate them fully, rather it will lead to workforce transformation.”
Nearly a quarter of the 93 respondents predict a steeper decline of between 5% and 10% of total headcount. The peer group covered by BI includes Citigroup Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
The findings point to far-reaching changes in the industry, feeding through to improved earnings. In 2027, banks could see pretax profits 12% to 17% higher than they would otherwise have been — adding as much as $180 billion to their combined bottom line — as AI powers an increase in productivity, according to BI. Eight in ten respondents expect generative AI to increase productivity and revenue generation by at least 5% in the next three to five years.
Banks, which have spent years modernizing their IT systems to speed up processes and shave costs in the wake of the financial crisis, have been flocking into the new generation of AI tools that could further improve productivity.
Citi said in a report in June that AI is likely to displace more jobs across the banking industry than in any other sector. About 54% of jobs across banking have a high potential to be automated, Citi said at the time.
Still, many firms have stressed that the shift will result in roles being changed by technology, rather than replaced altogether. Teresa Heitsenrether, who oversees JPMorgan’s AI efforts, said in November that the bank’s adoption of generative AI was so far augmenting jobs.
Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan’s chief executive officer, told Bloomberg Television in 2023 that AI is likely to make dramatic improvement in workers’ quality of life, even if it eliminates some positions. “Your children are going to live to 100 and not have cancer because of technology,” Dimon said at the time. “And literally they’ll probably be working three-and-a-half days a week.”
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Microsoft has announced new performance-based layoffs affecting less than 1% of its global workforce of 228,000 employees. The company’s focus on “high-performance talent” drives these actions, which span multiple departments, including its security division. While layoffs reflect ongoing tech industry trends since 2023, Microsoft’s Chairman Satya Nadella unveiled a large-scale initiative to train 500,000 individuals in rural India in artificial intelligence skills, reinforcing the company’s commitment to innovation and growth.
Microsoft has begun the year with small-scale layoffs across various departments, citing performance as the primary criterion. A spokesperson for the company told CNBC, “At Microsoft, we focus on high-performance talent. We are always working on helping people learn and grow. When people are not performing, we take appropriate action.”
The job cuts, affecting less than 1% of its 228,000 employees, are part of a broad effort to enhance performance management. Business Insider reported that these layoffs also include employees in the security division. According to sources, managers have spent months evaluating staff performance across all levels, including senior positions.
While the company is letting go of underperforming employees, many of the vacated positions may be refilled, ensuring that the overall workforce size remains relatively stable.
This is not Microsoft’s first round of layoffs in recent years. In 2023, the company cut approximately 10,000 jobs, representing about 5% of its workforce. That year, its Xbox gaming division also saw minor job reductions.
In 2024, following the $75.4 billion acquisition of Activision Blizzard, Microsoft dismissed nearly 2,000 employees from its gaming division to eliminate redundancies. Further layoffs during the summer affected its Azure cloud computing unit, initially targeting 1,500 roles, with approximately 1,000 employees ultimately laid off.
The broader tech industry has experienced significant downsizing since 2023, with companies like Google and Microsoft prioritising efficiency and performance amid economic pressures. Although it’s early in 2025, analysts expect such workforce reductions to continue as companies refine their strategies.
AI Skilling Programme for Rural India
Amidst the restructuring, Microsoft is making significant investments in artificial intelligence skill development. During a visit to New Delhi as part of the Microsoft AI Tour, Chairman and CEO Satya Nadella announced a collaborative initiative with India’s Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology (MeitY).
The programme aims to train 500,000 individuals in rural India in artificial intelligence skills. “There’s tremendous progress in AI skilling in India,” Nadella stated, emphasising the country’s vital role in the global AI landscape. This initiative is designed to empower underserved communities by equipping them with cutting-edge technological expertise.
Microsoft’s Strategic Outlook
Despite workforce adjustments, Microsoft remains focused on growth opportunities in artificial intelligence and cloud computing. The company’s partnership with OpenAI, in which it has invested over $13 billion, underscores its ambition in the AI sector. While tensions with OpenAI have emerged, Microsoft’s AI-driven products, such as the Microsoft 365 Copilot assistant, continue to develop and gain traction.
In October 2024, Chief Financial Officer Amy Hood indicated that revenue growth from Microsoft Azure, supported by AI infrastructure, is expected to accelerate in early 2025. These initiatives signal the company’s dual focus on operational efficiency and innovation.
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I always talk to God about everything in my life—whether something happens or not—because every effort I’ve made so far, I’ve done in God’s name, right or wrong. For example, if I’m traveling to Bihar and don’t have a train ticket but still need to go, I just pray, “Oh God, oh Mata Rani, please protect me and let me find a good coach to sit in.” There aren’t always tickets available, and I want to sit in Sleeper class since General is too difficult for me. When I reach the station, I think about which coach I should enter and then focus on God (Durga Ma) for a moment. Whichever coach comes to mind, I stand near that one and sit inside. Somehow, I end up finding a seat and sleep comfortably.
I also want to buy a flat, but there’s no loan in my name. This is my first time dealing with a loan for a flat. Let’s see if God arranges for someone who helps me get a home. God has indeed helped me a lot; He even helped me open a new bank account. Before that, I didn’t have a proper account or papers, not even a correct Aadhaar card. One Aadhaar shows my age as much older (my father-in-law had it made for me), and then I had another one made just so I could get a job, because you can’t list a higher age for certain jobs. That’s how my situation is.
My marriage happened in a similar way. My husband is 10 years older than I am, and he also has some mental health issues. When he couldn’t hold down a job anywhere, I tried everything—astrologers and different pujas—hoping he wouldn’t quit or come home. But ever since we married, that’s been the story: he comes home after leaving every job. After I went out on my own, I took him to see a doctor, which cost me a lot of money in Dharuhera. That’s when I learned he really did have a mental health problem. Then I took him to Bihar, where he took medication for a while. I also showed him to another doctor in Bihar. He’s still taking that medication and doesn’t work—he basically just stays at home, doing whatever little he can, eating and sleeping.
Meanwhile, I keep hoping my children will study and get somewhere in life. Maybe God will help them get a job, and then everything will be fine. With that hope, I work from morning till night. When I first came to Gurgaon, I had no idea where to go or what job I’d find, but I trusted God, thinking He’d make sure things turn out well. And He has—so far, He’s done everything for me. Now I work as a cook. On days when I don’t feel like cooking or going to my job, I just look at my kids’ expenses and wonder where the money will come from. That thought alone keeps me awake, and I head off to work.
I’ve struggled a lot in my life, but I’ve kept my faith in God, and everything has kept moving forward. Now my daughter is in 12th grade and says she wants to take the NEET exam. It makes me nervous. I tell her, “Let’s see how things go. You have just four months before college.” I pray to God, “Oh God, please guide my daughter so she can get a good path and a job quickly.” I want her to do well because I’m ready to start my own business. I’m tired of doing jobs, but I haven’t quit because I don’t want my life to derail. I have a big desire to start a business. A long time ago, I wanted to open a tiffin center because I used to work in a canteen at an NIT college in Bihar. I also slept there. There was a separate snacks section that only I managed and ran. At that time, I really wanted to own something like that myself—it would’ve been so nice. I tried, but there was no support, so I gave up and focused on my job instead.
Now I think that once my daughter moves on from school, I’ll definitely start a business. Right now, I’ve left my company job to do babysitting and cooking, and that’s going well. God is always with me. I met Ashish Jain through God’s grace as well. It’s been almost three years since I got to know him. At first, there was nothing special about him—no big story—but working together brought us closer than family. It’s like if someone asked whom I trust more, my family or Ashish Jain, I’d choose Ashish Jain. I don’t even trust myself as much as I trust him. If Ashish ever needs something from me, I can’t say no. I just figure if he needs it, I’ll give it.
Once, he was in deep trouble and needed money—about three to four months’ worth. He asked everyone for help, and I overheard him. I asked, “What’s going on?” but he didn’t want to tell me, thinking, “What could she do?” I kept asking until he finally said, “Mona, I need three lakhs. I don’t know what to do; no one is helping.” He was really upset. I offered, “I can help,” and he replied, “Do you have that much?” I told him, “Not much, I have one lakh.” He said, “Okay, give it to me, and I’ll return it later.” I said I’d do it, but I was scared—it was my hard-earned money, and I didn’t want it to vanish. I explained my concerns: “If I give you this money, I hope I won’t end up in trouble.” But after thinking it through, I put my faith in God, gave him the money with no written proof, and it worked out fine. Five or six months later, my sister-in-law asked me for financial help. I told Ashish she needed money, but he said, “No, Mona, don’t give it; why would you?” Still, I couldn’t refuse my sister-in-law, so I went ahead and lent her the money. I got it back, too. Now I trust Ashish Jain so much that I even have two lakh rupees with him.
मैं अपने लाइफ़ में कोई काम हो, तो भी भगवान को बोलती हूँ कि वही किए, और ना हो तो भी भगवान को ही बोलती हूँ। क्योंकि आज तक जितने भी मैंने काम किए, सब भगवान के नाम से, चाहे वो ग़लत हो या सही। जैसे, मैं बिहार जा रही हूँ और मेरे पास टिकट नहीं है, पर जाना भी है। तो जब निकलते हैं, तो भगवान से बोल देती हूँ, “हे भगवान, हे माता रानी, मेरा रक्षक करना और किसी अच्छी बोगी में बैठा देना।” सब टिकट तो होते नहीं, और मुझे स्लीपर में बैठना है, क्योंकि जनरल मेरे बस में नहीं है। फिर जब स्टेशन पर जाऊँगी, तो पहले ये सोचूँगी कि किस बोगी में बैठूँ, और एक बार भगवान जी, यानी दुर्गा माँ का ध्यान करूँगी। जो मेरे मन में बोगी आएगी, मैं उसी बोगी के पास खड़ी हो जाती हूँ और बैठ जाती हूँ। फिर ये सुख कि मुझे अपने आप सीट मिल जाती है और मैं आराम से सो लेती हूँ।
और मुझे फ़्लैट लेना है, पर मेरे नाम का कोई लोन नहीं है। पहली बार लोन का काम करना है, जो कि फ़्लैट से जुड़ा है। अब देखो, भगवान किसी को खड़ा कर दें, जिससे मेरा घर हो जाए। शायद उन्होंने मेरी बहुत हेल्प की है, और मेरा एक अकाउंट खुला है। मेरे पास पहले कोई अच्छा अकाउंट भी नहीं था, कोई पेपर भी नहीं था, यहाँ तक कि आधार कार्ड भी सही नहीं था। एक में मेरी उम्र इतनी ज़्यादा लिखी है कि क्या बताऊँ—मेरे ससुर ने बनवा दिया था, उसमें बहुत ज़्यादा उम्र है। और एक मैंने बनवाया था जॉब करने के लिए, क्योंकि जॉब में ज़्यादा उम्र नहीं चलती है। यही हाल है मेरा।
मेरी जो शादी हुई थी, वो भी ऐसी ही हुई थी। मेरे पति मुझसे 10 साल बड़े हैं और थोड़ा दिमाग में भी परेशानी है। क्योंकि जब वो कहीं जॉब नहीं कर पाते, तो मैं हर जगह देखती—पंडित से ये पूजा, वो पूजा। मान लो, जब से शादी हुई, तब से यही करते रहे घर पर कि क्यों आ जाते हैं जॉब छोड़कर? फिर जब मैं बाहर निकली, तो एक बार डॉक्टर को दिखाया, वहाँ मेरा बहुत पैसा लग गया था—धरूहेड़ा में दिखाया था। उसके बाद पता चला कि इन्हें दिमाग की दिक्कत है। उस समय के बाद, फिर मैं इन्हें बिहार ले गई और कुछ दिन वहाँ की दवा खाई। फिर बिहार में भी एक दिमाग के डॉक्टर से दिखाया। वो अभी तक वहीं की दवा खा रहे हैं और कोई काम नहीं करते, बस घर में ही रहते हैं, और घर में जो थोड़ा-बहुत होता है, वही कर लेते हैं। बस खाते-सोते रहते हैं।
और मैं यहाँ एक उम्मीद में हूँ कि मेरे बच्चे कुछ पढ़-लिख जाएँ, और कहीं भगवान कुछ जॉब लगवा ही देंगे, तो सब ठीक हो जाएगा। इसी उम्मीद से मैं सुबह से रात तक जॉब करती हूँ। जब मैं गुड़गाँव आई थी, तो मुझे कुछ नहीं पता था कि कहाँ जाऊँ, कहाँ जॉब करूँ, पर भगवान पर भरोसा था कि भगवान तो हैं ही, जो करेंगे अच्छा ही करेंगे। और आज तक वही सब कर रहे हैं। मैं कुकिंग करती हूँ। जब कभी जाने का मन नहीं होता कुकिंग पर या जॉब पर, तो मैं अपने बच्चों का ख़र्च देख लेती कि कहाँ से आएगा, फिर अपने आप नींद उड़ जाती है और निकल ही पड़ती हूँ।
मैं अपनी लाइफ़ में बहुत स्ट्रगल की हूँ, पर भगवान पर भरोसा रखा और होता ही गया। अब मेरी बेटी 12वीं में है और कहती है कि वो नीट करेगी, तो मुझे घबराहट होती है। मैं मना करती हूँ, “देखो, क्या होता है अब। बस 4 महीने बचे हैं उसे कॉलेज जाने में।” मैं भगवान से यही प्रार्थना करती हूँ कि “हे भगवान, अच्छा लाइन मिले मेरी बेटी को ताकि जल्दी जॉब कर ले।” आगे वो बेटी बढ़े, क्योंकि मुझे अब बिज़नेस करना है। जॉब से थक गई हूँ, पर जॉब इसलिए नहीं छोड़ती कि कहीं मैं डगमगा न जाऊँ। आगे मुझे बिज़नेस करने का बड़ा मन है। बहुत पहले मुझे टिफ़िन सेंटर खोलने का मन था, क्योंकि मैं बिहार में एनआईटी कॉलेज में कैंटीन में काम करती थी। कैंटीन में काम करती और वहीं सोती भी थी। वहाँ स्नैक्स का एक अलग सेक्शन था, जिसे सिर्फ़ मैं ही संभालती थी और चलाती थी। उसी समय मुझे वो करने का मन हुआ था—काश! मेरा खुद का होता, तो कितना अच्छा होता। मैंने बहुत कोशिश की, पर कोई सपोर्ट नहीं मिला, इसलिए छोड़ दिया और जॉब पर ही ध्यान दिया।
अब यही सोचती हूँ, मेरी बेटी निकल जाए, फिर मैं पक्का बिज़नेस करूँगी। अभी मैं कंपनी छोड़कर बेबी-सिटिंग और कुकिंग कर रही हूँ, तो अच्छा काम चल रहा है। मेरे भगवान हमेशा साथ रहते हैं। आशीष जैन से भी जब मिली थी, तो भगवान ने ही मिलाया। उनसे मिले 3 साल होने वाले हैं। मुझे आशीष जैन कुछ ख़ास नहीं लगे थे और न ही कोई ऐसी बात थी, बस काम करते-करते अपने से भी ज़्यादा हो गए हैं। ऐसा मानो अगर कोई मेरी फ़ैमिली और आशीष जैन—दोनों में से किसी एक पर भरोसा करने को कहे, तो मैं आशीष जैन पर करूँगी। जितना मैं खुद पर भरोसा नहीं करती, उतना उन पर करती हूँ। लाइफ़ में अगर आशीष मुझसे कुछ भी माँगें, तो मैं देने से मना नहीं कर सकती। मैं यही सोचूँगी कि उन्हें ज़रूरी है, तो मैं दे दूँ।
एक बार वो बहुत परेशान थे, उन्हें कुछ पैसों की ज़रूरत थी 3-4 महीने के लिए। वो सबसे हेल्प माँग रहे थे और मैं सुन रही थी। मैंने पूछा, “क्या हुआ?” तो वो मुझे नहीं बता रहे थे, सोच रहे थे, “क्या बताऊँ, ये क्या करेगी।” फिर मैंने बहुत पूछा, तो बोले, “मोना, मुझे 3 लाख की ज़रूरत है, क्या करूँ, कोई भी हेल्प नहीं कर रहा।” वो बहुत उदास थे। फिर मैं बोली, “मैं आपकी हेल्प कर दूँ?” तो बोले, “तुम्हारे पास है क्या?” मैंने कहा, “ज़्यादा नहीं, 1 लाख है।” वो बोले, “ठीक है, तुम दे दो, मैं बाद में लौटा दूँगा।” फिर मैंने बोल तो दिया कि “मैं दे दूँगी,” पर डर रही थी कि इतना मेहनत का पैसा है, कहीं डूब न जाए। मैंने उन्हें सब बता दिया कि “अगर मैं पैसा दे दूँ, तो कहीं मैं खुद मुसीबत में न आ जाऊँ।” फिर बहुत दिक्कतें देखीं, तो मैं भगवान का नाम लेकर बिना कोई सबूत लिए दे आई, और उनका काम हो गया। फिर 5-6 महीने बाद मेरी भाभी ने मुझसे हेल्प माँगी पैसे की। मैं आशीष को बताई कि “पैसा दे दो, भाभी को ज़रूरत है।” वो बोले, “नहीं मोना, मत दो, क्यों देना।” पर मैं नहीं मानी और भाभी को पैसा दे दिया, और मेरा पैसा वापस भी मिल गया। अब तो इतना भरोसा है आशीष जैन पर कि मेरे 2 लाख रुपये उनके पास रखे हुए हैं।
Now let’s see when the wedding will take place and what will happen. Whenever it does, I’ll think about moving my belongings, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. I’ve been working in this (Mapsko) society for more than three years now, and my work is going smoothly. I only work at one place, so I’ve managed to save up a little money. Now I have another dream: I want to buy my own flat and fulfill my wish of having a home of my own. I’ve always dreamed of having a job and owning even a small single-room place—but something that’s entirely mine.
After saving some money, I began to plan. Whenever I get an idea in my head, I can’t rest until I make it happen. It doesn’t matter how challenging it is—I get passionate about it. I don’t dream while I’m asleep; I stay awake at night, thinking about how and where to do things.
It was the same when I was in Bihar. I dreamed of purchasing land and managed to gather enough funds by selling some jewelry and saving up. I even started looking at plots and tried to buy one, but I had no one to support me. Without that support, I couldn’t finalize the purchase, even though the land was initially going to be in my name.
All the people I told about the land ended up buying it themselves, while I couldn’t buy anything. You need family members—at least two or five people—to help with the paperwork. What else could I do? My own family ignored me, and the land slipped away. I cried a lot. It’s tough for a woman to do everything alone, especially if she isn’t very educated. In the end, the entire twenty-katha plot was sold. I only wanted half a katha, but without any family support, nothing worked out.
Now, about eight years later, the same dream—of owning land and a house—has started to haunt me again. We’ll see if it’s in my destiny. The issue here is the same: I have some money, but nobody to back me. Buying property without support isn’t easy—there are so many rules. I’ve looked at many plots and flats already. Let’s see if I can actually manage to buy one or not.
