April 8, 2011

Index of Journals

April 8, 2011

It didn’t have to be that hard to forget Rashmi’s and Smita’s birthday. I had been thinking the girls but I knew I was right, both logically and philosophically, to miss their birthday. I need to cut contacts from this family because it has never been a part of my success but has caused failure more than enough times. It is enough. 

Anu got good results in her CPT group tests and she was going to get called big companies for article-ship. Anu wants to go there, work with them, they will pay good amount somewhere like Rs 15000 per month. Nobody but this family is opposed to that. Uncle says that she would not get time to study. Amma says that they free the interns from work very late. Babaji is just humming the mixed tunes of amma and uncle. Badi buaji was here to advocate for Anu. Buaji think that Anu should go for the job. She was tried her best to make others convince of what Anu, badi buaji, and Ankur think, but there is a deeper thing to discover than just the benefit of Anu that is there in vicious uncle’s mind. Is the money, is the independence, is the sort of power, the status that Anu will get once has an earning hand?  I don’t trust this man, nor should anybody else.

Last night around 1 am, I had planned to go to bed and get up around 3 am to study again. But Prashant didn’t let me sleep. He was changing fan speed, changing light in the room, was making noises from his throat like clearing heavy mucus stuck in his throat. What the hell was that? It was only around 1:48 that I gave up waiting for peace and put music on repeat on phone, lying near by it, showing no concern for whoever was doing what in the room. ‘Umbrella’ was playing the second time when the guy jumped out the bed and rushed out. By the time he was back with his father I had shut down the phone again after the completion of the track. He said, “He must have shut it down only after hearing us coming”, then his father asks for the time and he leaves. That was a scene. I was thinking only about it before going to bed.

In the morning the donkey said nothing, I wasn’t anticipating that. There was fuss about me not bathing since four days and on, but that was nothing in comparison to heavy discussion I was setting my brain up for. 

Badi buaji is kind of avoiding me. That’s fine by me. I remember she had taken my name as a bad example in the talks in the afternoon. I was hearing from my room, inevitably.

I hear this religious music playing all the time on uncle’s laptop. What is this, what is on his mind? Am I or the others are crazy? No matter what, but this family surely is. Jainism is nothing what these people do or talk or whatever.
God bless me
Ashish