Index of Journals
18 January 2011 I was awake whole night. I had to cover syllabus for making it for four units and also to make it sure I revise the read topics once. I reached college and sat on the staircases of that building once again. There were MAIT students dressed in suits coming up with file-folder in their hands in cars. I learned they had job-interview and test for the same. I wondered about my college, NIEC (ADGITM) and wondered about my own future. Nah, I am not running for any job but it’s good if it’s coming. Faizan came by and we revised for some time together. I wanted to go to toilet but I didn’t. I was feeling sick of hangover from last night, but I didn’t show up. The teacher didn’t allow me to go to toilet once he had given me the answer sheet. I didn’t bother to go later, waste of time. (Earthquake was felt just now, 0200 19 January 2011. I was sitting and my head starts shaking. I thought if I am getting shocks in head. Then I lifted my head from the laptop screen and found that fan was oscillating. I was terrified for a moment and I muted the laptop and sat dreaming about the next. Next was nothing. In a minute, the building was back to stable. There was noise of a woman from outside and I went out in the balcony for a second. So, the earthquake was confirmed.) I found the exam to be too lengthy. I missed the Unit 4. I missed a Unit 3 numerical, and I knew how to do them. Oh god, I am in loose condition again. I need 35 and I attempted paper of 48 marks. So I am feeling neither good, nor bad. I am just not feeling okay as well. After exam, I went to NIEC (now ADGITM) to issue book for next exam. I was accompanied by Kirti Mohan. Uh, while sitting in three-wheeler I tore a little stitch next to the side-pockets. It made me feel bad for hours. My mood was already down because of physics paper and now this blow to my mental being was intolerable. I kept going and doing my things quietly though. I only felt relief when amma told me that she could stitch the cut back. In the afternoon buaji was here to take kids back home, and I found her a little too happy in making a verbal connection with me. There surely must be some reason but I don’t want to know. That’s because sooner, or later, the things will change. I was sleeping from 1700 to ten-thirty. I was thinking about all that happened during the day. At the metro station (Rithala), I was emptying my pockets into my bag and I saw that Kanika Sahni stood straight in my line of sight ahead at a distance. Well, I was looking for Faizan and Neha who were about to come. But then I saw this pretty lady. And I guess I caught her eye because she was looking here. Then she moved behind that person (one of her classmate) with whom she was talking. That was direct indication of the fact that she had noticed me for at least once, but I couldn’t understand for hours what that show of baseless confidence was for? She has a looks very strikingly similar to Anshu ma’am who in turn looks a copy of another Bollywood actor, Anushka Sharma. God Bless ‘Me’ Ashish