Index of Journals
18-Mar-2013
• Driver doped – acting crazy like me – so they put up people that act like me in behavior – yeah in library too
• Driver is also one with the surveillance team. He was acting crazy like myself. So surveillance team has put up people that act like me in behavior. Yeah, and in the college library too I felt similarly about few people.
• Cars were still there
• Cars that I see often were still in there same position. Such as one outside my longer studytable window [like WagonR for weeks at a time, or then Zen for weeks at a time], or the one next to the main gate [like Aqua Blue Toyota Corola belonging to Sagar Balal (this one was for months)] and visible from the door to the balcony in grandma's room. Or like the i10 parked right outside our balcony everyday beloging to the lawyer Geeta (friend of Hardik's parents)
What you are going to read next are my conversations with three buas that would appear very familiar to you what expert negotiators call "Good guy, bad guy" tactic:
• Last night – R-buaji said for me to find a job – that bbg cannot pay further
• Last night, Rekha bua said for me to find a job and that grandpa cannot pay further for my college fees.
• I told M-buaji abt it in the morning in car – 1330, b-buaji called and told me study paying no attention to nothing without even thinking
• I told Manju aunt abt it in the morning while we were traveling in the car. At 1330, Kumkum bua called and told me study paying no attention to anything, and also not think about it.
• I found her right.
To the college I wore shirt and belt – the s**t and spit was on always.
To the college I wore shirt and belt (cannot say today [20210607] whether it was with denim pants or formals). The demotivating and demoralizing behavior of people around me was on always.
Shukla tried made s**t up for his phn loss or whatever – since these guys are doped, I cannot be writing what I hear, I should not write about the s**t that is thrown at me – I should only write about what I see
• Yes, so the bulls**t is coming in verbally – f*** them
Abhishek Shukla tried to lie to me for his phone loss or whatever. Since these guys are with surveillance team, I cannot be writing what I hear, I should not write about the verbal-nonsense that is thrown at me. I should only write about what I see.
• Yes, so the nonsense is now coming in verbally. Screw them.
• So Anshu was agn in the same green suit as last two times – that I saw her, yes, 27-feb, 7-mar, 18-mar – light aqua green
• So Anshu ma'am (the Communication Skills teacher) was again in the same green suit (suit as in Indian women wear kurta) as the last two times when I had seen her, yes, 27th of Feb, 7th of Mar, and today is 18th of Mar. The color is light aqua green.
• Two times – they sent bus for Mukesh
• Two times, they had sent bus for Mukesh.
• Teachers roamed around – seemed positive for talk, but I couldn’t think of anything
• Teachers roamed around, who seemed positive to talk to, but I couldn’t think of anything.
• Strict following always on – in the cyber café there came three people very close and there should be more around
B4 meeting Shweta – I had get content for talk – I didn’t want to meet her again – so I got the date of 15-Apr of project submission from Uttam sir, then to her I was going to tell this along with ‘which do you read for rules’
• She pulled up the talk
• Anshu interrupted to tell a website – I was smiling for this, as I couldn’t have turned my face back and Shweta had looked at her behind me to show listening
• Strict surveillance is always on, even in the cyber café outside of college campus. There came three people very close and there should be more people around.
Before meeting Shweta ma'am, I had to get content for the talk. I didn’t want to meet her again so I got the date of 15th Apr of project submission from Uttam sir, then to her I was going to tell this along with ‘which book do you read for rules’.
• She began to talk and then Anshu interrupted to tell a website (didn't care to note it). I was smiling for this, as I couldn’t have turned my face back and Shweta had looked at her behind me to show that Shweta was listening to her.
~ ~ ~
A guy comes in – in colors, Shweta too – asks for Yamini-ma’am phn no – shows off his phn
• Well, while this person asks for contact of a teacher – this teacher was asking for my contact (email id, so she could tell some books) but I told Mukesh to give his as ‘I don’t check my email’ I had said to him
• Also while I was only trying to get a book name (for the sake of the talk) – I actually got a book which she pushed for me to keep until that I come next time, even as I was saying to be returning it today
• I thought of leaving and looked down – she tapped her feet, thinking I was looking at them – then she realized for the bye-time – as this guy went, she spoke for a minute maybe and then I sat erect and took a deep-breath and then there was only ‘thank-you’ from me before I got up to move after taking the book in hand – that must have felt to her – they think are always something, even after reading my entire life, it is almost like they need know more
• I was quite and had made up mind to leave while the condescending went on – there was water on the table (on which I had mistakenly put the book, before putting my hand twice thereafter)
• Mukesh had checked for the teacher from the door – so as I open it there was chair behind so that it banged
• Mukesh gets the seat by himself this time as I chose to sit on entering – while leaving we just left
~ ~ ~
• Two teachers for me here – the third one should be a psyche if they are still f***ed up in their heads
Entire exam-cell changed – f*** that – all the glass walls down and the dividers
• Otherwise it was divided in three parts – first and third thick – middle one thinner for helping people
• Two teachers for me here in the examination cell. The third one should be a psychologist from surveillance team if they are still screwed up in their heads.
Entire examination cell changed (as in construction), all the glass walls and dividers were not there.
• Otherwise it was divided in three parts. First and third dividers were thick and the middle one was thinner for helping people.
• Apple ad then hair-dye-ad-for-an-oldie-with-long-curly-feathery-hair (similar to Anshu’s)– pushed up on random channel, I-red
Apple iPhone ad and then hair dye ad showing an old woman (mother of girls in late teens) with long curly feathery hair (similar to Anshu’s) and the ad pushed up on random channels. I felt it was infrared effect.
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