Pari CR 12.5 Tablet

Pari CR 12.5 Tablet

Prescription: Required
Manufacturer: Ipca Laboratories Ltd
SALT COMPOSITION: Paroxetine (12.5mg)
Storage: Store below 30°C

CR: Controlled Release

Paroxetine, sold under the brand names Paxil and Seroxat among others, is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. It is used to treat major depressive disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It has also been used in the treatment of premature ejaculation and hot flashes due to menopause. It is taken by mouth.

Common side effects include drowsiness, dry mouth, loss of appetite, sweating, trouble sleeping, and sexual dysfunction. Serious side effects may include suicidal thoughts in those under the age of 25, serotonin syndrome, and mania. While the rate of side effects appears similar compared to other SSRIs and SNRIs, antidepressant discontinuation syndromes may occur more often. Use in pregnancy is not recommended, while use during breastfeeding is relatively safe. It is believed to work by blocking the re-uptake of the chemical serotonin by neurons in the brain.

Paroxetine was approved for medical use in the United States in 1992 and initially sold by GlaxoSmithKline. It is on the World Health Organization's List of Essential Medicines. It is available as a generic medication. In 2019, it was the 78th most commonly prescribed medication in the United States, with more than 9 million prescriptions. In 2018, it was in the top 10 of most prescribed antidepressants in the United States. In 2012, the United States Department of Justice fined GlaxoSmithKline $3 billion for withholding data, unlawfully promoting use in those under 18, and preparing an article that misleadingly reported the effects of paroxetine in adolescents with depression following its clinical trial study 329.



IUPAC name
(3S,4R)-3-[(2H-1,3-benzodioxol-5-yloxy)methyl]-4-(4-fluorophenyl)piperidine

Introduction

Pari CR 12.5 Tablet is a type of antidepressant belonging to the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) group of medicines. It is widely prescribed to treat depression and anxiety-related conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder, and panic disorder.

Pari CR 12.5 Tablet helps many people to recover from depression by improving their mood and relieving anxiety and tension. It can be taken with or without food. The dose and how often you need it will be decided by your doctor so that you get the right amount to control your symptoms.

Your doctor may start you on a lower dose and increase it gradually. Do not change the dose or stop taking it without talking to your doctor, even if you feel well. Doing so may make your condition worse or you may suffer from unpleasant withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, restlessness, palpitations, dizziness, sleep disturbances, etc).

To get the most benefit, take this medicine regularly at the same time each day. Your doctor may advise you to take it in the morning if you have trouble sleeping. It may take a few weeks before you start feeling better. Let your doctor know if you do not see any improvement even after 4 weeks.

Some common side effects of Pari CR 12.5 Tablet include nausea, fatigue, dry mouth, loss of appetite, increased sweating, dizziness, nervousness, tremors, insomnia (difficulty in sleeping), and constipation. Sexual side effects like decreased sexual drive, delayed ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction may also be seen. Let your doctor know straight away if you develop any sudden worsening of mood or any thoughts about harming yourself.

Before taking this medicine, you should tell your doctor if you have epilepsy (seizure disorder or fits), diabetes, liver or kidney disease, heart problems, or glaucoma. These may affect your treatment. Pregnant or breastfeeding women should also consult their doctor before taking it. Some other medicines may affect the way it works, especially other antidepressants and medicines called MAO inhibitors. Please tell your doctor about all the medicines you are taking to make sure you are safe.

Uses of Pari Tablet CR

1. Treatment of Depression
2. Treatment of Panic disorder
3. Treatment of Anxiety disorder

Benefits of Pari Tablet CR

In Treatment of Depression
Pari CR 12.5 Tablet works by increasing the level of a chemical called serotonin in the brain. This improves your mood, relieves anxiety, tension, and helps you sleep better. It has fewer side effects than older antidepressants. It usually takes 4-6 weeks for this medicine to work so you need to keep taking it even if you feel it is not working. Do not stop taking it, even if you feel better unless your doctor advises you to.

In Treatment of Panic disorder
Pari CR 12.5 Tablet can help relieve symptoms of many panic disorders including panic attacks. It can help you feel calmer and improve your ability to deal with problems. Do not stop taking it, even when you feel better, unless your doctor advises you to.

In Treatment of Anxiety disorder
Pari CR 12.5 Tablet helps relieve symptoms of many anxiety disorders including obsessive-compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder by increasing the level of a chemical called serotonin in your brain. It has fewer side effects than older antidepressants and is normally taken once a day. It helps you feel calm with a better ability to deal with problems. Exercise and a healthy diet can also improve your mood. Keep taking the medicine until your doctor advises you to stop.

Side effects of Pari Tablet CR
Most side effects do not require any medical attention and disappear as your body adjusts to the medicine. Consult your doctor if they persist or if you’re worried about them:
Common side effects of Pari:

1. Nausea
2. Fatigue
3. Dryness in mouth
4. Loss of appetite
5. Increased sweating
6. Dizziness
7. Nervousness
8. Tremor
9. Low sexual desire
10. Insomnia (difficulty in sleeping)
11. Confusion
12. Constipation
13. Erectile dysfunction
14. Delayed ejaculation
15. Decreased libido

How Pari CR works

Pari CR 12.5 Tablet is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressant. It works by increasing the levels of serotonin, a chemical messenger in the brain. This improves mood and physical symptoms of depression and also relieves symptoms of panic disorder, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Quick tips
1. It can take 2-3 weeks for Pari CR 12.5 Tablet to start working.
2. Do not stop treatment suddenly as this may cause upset stomach, flu-like withdrawal symptoms and sleep disturbance.
3. If your doctor asks you to stop Pari CR 12.5 Tablet, you should reduce the dose slowly over 4 weeks.
4. Avoid consuming alcohol when taking Pari CR 12.5 Tablet, as it may cause excessive drowsiness and calmness.
5. The addiction/dependence potential of Pari CR 12.5 Tablet is very less. 

Interaction with drugs

Taking Pari with any of the following medicines can modify the effect of either of them and cause some undesirable side effects
Linezolid
Brand(s): Lizolan, Lidoford, Zenlid
LIFE-THREATENING

Moclobemide
Brand(s): Trima, Rimarex, Morex
LIFE-THREATENING

Rasagiline
Brand(s): Rasalect, Relgin, Rasipar
LIFE-THREATENING

Reboxetine
Brand(s): Rebotin
LIFE-THREATENING

Fact Box

Chemical Class: Phenylpiperidine Derivative
Habit Forming: No
Therapeutic Class: NEURO CNS
Action Class: Selective Seretonin Reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)

Tags: Medicine,Science,Technology,

Big Data Analytics & Business (By Yaju Gupta)

Contents

1. Business & Business Intelligence
2. Intelligent Decision Making 
3. Factors affecting BI capability

4. Data Analytics
5. Importance of Data Analytics 
6. Big Data
7. Advantages of Big Data Analytics
8. Challenges in BDA
9. Big Data Analytics Model
10. BDA Implementation

11. Real world BI Examples

Business
 
Dealing in any activity to earn profit. For example: Selling or Buying of  goods and services (products)  

Business Intelligence 

A set of theories, methodologies, architectures and technologies that transform raw data into meaningful and useful information for business purposes.

BI helps in identifying, develop & create new business strategies and effective decision making through historical, operational and predictive views of business operations.

Intelligent Decision Making

Real time / On time availability of High Quality Information for decision making process  regarding a scenario, situation or problem under consideration

Factors affecting BI capability

Amount, Type, Efficiency and Output format of the analyzed data to be used by decision makers.

Data Analytics

The process of reviewing existing data with multiple angles / dimensions with the intention of finding new additional information based on retrieved co-relations / hidden patterns

Importance of Data Analytics

Organizations uses data for the optimized utilization of all available resources in order to achieve  predefined goals ( Decision making )

Nowadays, organizations are more reliant on data to drive business decision to foster innovation & development  

As per IBM, a very large amount of data being created on daily basis: (In Terra / Zetta Bytes)

Big Data 

Very large in size ( In TB / ZB ), Structured to Unstructured, and Generates very fastly on continuous basis from multiple locations.
( Dimensions : Volume, Variety  & Velocity )

For example : Sensor data (Climate data), CCTV Data, Log Files, Posts on S-N sites, Online Shopping sites data, Call Records, Airlines Data, Hospitality Data, Wikipedia Text and Images

Advantages of Big Data Analytics

1. Higher Customer Satisfaction
2. Improved Business Processes
3. Increased Revenue
4. Reducing Operating Cost and Time
5. Gaining Competitive  Advantages of Business
6. Customized Products ( On Individual customer basis )

Challenges in BDA

Capturing, Storing, Searching, Classification , Clustering,  Analyzing and Visualization of data 

Requirement of running S/w applications on number of nodes in parallel to process a very huge amount of data 

Big Data Analytics Model: Map Reduce Programming Model

A distributed programming model that support parallel processing of data on number of nodes 

Components of Map Reduce : 

1. Input Reader 
2. Output Writer
3. Map and Reduce Function  
4. Partitioning Function  
5. Comparison Function

BDA Implementation

Apache Hadoop Framework  ( 100 % Open Source ): An Implementation of Map Reduce Programming Model

# A Java based framework to process data in parallel on a distributed computing environment  ( Cloud Computing )

# Provides new way of storing and analyzing a huge amount of data ( In TB / ZB ) 

# Cost Effective solution

Hadoop Components

# Map Reduce Framework
# Hive ( Data Analytics & SQL Development )
# Cluster ( Data Loading : Sqoop and Flume )
# Zookeeper ( Hadoop Services Management )
# Ozzie ( Nodes Management )
# HBase ( NoSql - Database )  
# Distributed File System (HDFS)
				
Power Of Hadoop

# Distributed File System
# Fast data transfer rate in between various nodes
# Easier and Quick Recovery from any failure with minimal interruption of services
				
Design Consideration 

# Emerging M2M Communication based market
# Locations, Devices and Network associated with data
# Processing of Complex and Unstructured data 
# Gaining Competitive Advantages of Business

Real world BI Examples 

Business Intelligence has infinite potential uses in organization. BI solutions are used by almost all kind of organizations or companies to drive business decisions. For example :

Telecom Domain
To decide either to invest their resources into securing new customers or engage existing ones and turn them into repeat buyers ( Customer behaviors analysis ) 

Retail Domain
To create better shopping experience for customers and making  business profitable ( By putting trends together to stock popular items before they became in high demand and afterward inventory will not stuck with excess )

Market Research 
To engage relevant customers, illuminate customer trends and uncover their needs & personal preferences ( Historical data analysis ) 

Hospital Quality and Efficiency of Care 
To achieve the goal of having every patient seen by a doctor within 45 minutes of arrival or to improve efficiency of care ( Patients Arrival, Doctors Availability, Turnaround & Bed availability metrics analysis ) 

Sales Forecasting
Historical, Operational and Predictive analysis using Sales data 

Credits
Yajuvendra Gupta

Tags: Big Data,

Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet (Amoxycillin (500mg) + Clavulanic Acid (125mg))

Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet
Prescription: Required
MANUFACTURER: Glaxo SmithKline Pharmaceuticals Ltd
SALT COMPOSITION: Amoxycillin (500mg) + Clavulanic Acid (125mg)
STORAGE: Store below 30°C

INTRODUCTION

Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet is a penicillin-type of antibiotic that helps your body fight infections caused by bacteria. It is used to treat infections of the lungs (e.g., pneumonia), ear, nasal sinus, urinary tract, skin, and soft tissue. It will not work for viral infections such as the common cold.

Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet is best taken with a meal to reduce the chance of a stomach upset. You should take it regularly at evenly spaced intervals as per the schedule prescribed by your doctor. Taking it at the same time every day will help you to remember to take it. The dose will depend on what you are being treated for, but you should always complete a full course of this antibiotic as prescribed by your doctor. Do not stop taking it until you have finished, even when you feel better. If you stop taking it early, some bacteria may survive and the infection may come back or worsen.

The most common side effects of this medicine include vomiting, nausea, and diarrhea. These are usually mild but let your doctor know if they bother you or will not go away.

Before taking it, let your doctor know if you are allergic to any antibiotics or have any kidney or liver problems. You should also let your healthcare team know about all other medicines you are taking as they may affect, or be affected by, this medicine. This medicine is generally regarded as safe to use during pregnancy and breastfeeding if prescribed by a doctor.

BENEFITS OF AUGMENTIN TABLET

In Treatment of Bacterial infections
Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet contains two different medicines, Amoxycillin and Clavulanic Acid, that work together to kill the bacteria that cause infections. Amoxycillin works by stopping the growth of bacteria. Clavulanic Acid reduces resistance and enhances the activity of Amoxycillin against bacteria.

This combination medicine can be used to treat many different bacterial infections such as ear, sinus, throat, lung, urinary tract, skin, teeth, joints, and bones. It usually makes you feel better within a few days, but you should continue taking it as prescribed even when you feel better to make sure that all bacteria are killed and do not become resistant.

SIDE EFFECTS OF AUGMENTIN TABLET

Most side effects do not require any medical attention and disappear as your body adjusts to the medicine. Consult your doctor if they persist or if you’re worried about them
Common side effects of Augmentin:
Vomiting
Nausea
Diarrhea

Quick tips

1. You have been prescribed this combination medicine to treat bacterial infections even if they have developed resistance. 

2. Finish the prescribed course, even if you start to feel better. Stopping it early may make the infection come back and harder to treat.

3. Diarrhea may occur as a side effect. Taking probiotics along with Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet may help. Talk to your doctor if you notice bloody stools or develop abdominal cramps.

4. Take it with food and plenty of fluids to avoid an upset stomach.

5. Stop taking Augmentin 625 Duo Tablet and inform your doctor immediately if you develop an itchy rash, swelling of the face, throat or tongue or breathing difficulties while taking it.

6. Do not use leftover medicine for treating any infection in the future. Always consult your doctor before taking any antibiotic.

Fact Box

Habit Forming: No
Therapeutic Class: ANTI INFECTIVES

Tags: Medicine,Technology,Science,

2011-Jun-20

Index of Journals

June 20, 2011
It was my first day at college after fourth semester. I wasn’t expecting anyone to talk to me and I was down to the ground whole day long. It was Arushi, Parul, Tanvi and Abhilash whom I saw first and there were second section students. I saw Tarang Mahajan in the empty class and I got with him, soon there were other unknowns of second section. I talked to Ravi who was here with his friends of other section and I talked to him about the post of 5th June, about internship and about this summer training. At least, he was there with to talk, I am glad. Anshul sir sent Java kids to the third floor. I met with Dinesh, Koli, Sati, Irfan and others there. Vibha’s group was there but I didn’t pay attention. I learned that Dinesh didn’t even know about what I had posted and it was just the messages of Dhanraj and others that he deleted me. He was not holding any grudge against me, nor was many others. There were a lot of handshakes, but still I missed a friend. I didn’t say hi or hello to Sonam though she had eyed me very closely from her place in between the group. Her group was noticing me from time to time. Even Neha said ‘hi’ when she had crossed me once. I was sitting with Mukul Chandra in the beginning and I didn’t push myself to seat with anyone in particular so just sat with him. I was better off alone than following stupid people like Dinesh, Sati or anyone else. 
The teachers who came were looking like someone from the streets of Shastri Park. Shaqeel Dinesh, an Osama Bin laden look-alike and other was looking like his daughter who just sat and smiled through the day. I had reached college at 0900 and the class started only by 1030 and there was then break of about one and half hour, then a class of about an hour until 1515. I came back home around 1630, had lunch, a conversation with babaji about the class, and then I spent time in creating a video out of photos of Vibha with a Hindi explicit song as playback. I didn’t have appropriate song so I went down to meet Amogh, Hardik, Appu and Pranav. Hardik broke the bulb in the room of the guards/ electricians to rest. That was crazy, I was telling them no but they were not going to listen. I got the song and the video is ready!
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-19

Index of Journals

June 19, 2011
At badi buaji’s house, I was supposed to drink milk before going to bed at night. Badi buaji didn’t give it for quite a many days after two or three times in the beginning and she told me that I should take the milk by myself because once gets into bed it becomes difficult for her to get up and work. During the last week buaji while providing the milk taunted me for not taking the milk over these days when she had told me to take the milk myself. It wasn’t actually what she said, it did come to my mind once or twice but there wouldn’t be any milk on the gas and I will have to work right from the scratch from taking the milk out from the fridge, to pouring boiled milk into glass. That was really bad to see such an attitude from her. Another thing was that I used to feel uncomfortable there when fufaji or buaji would come to the room where I would take a little rest after studying and they would eye like I am doing something wrong. That was bad, it is obvious that it would have made me feel uncomfortable and it did. I wasn’t able feel like home there until the last day.
I was searching for my green side bag and I just found the blue-black single-strap back-pack there in the cupboard. I used to use many years before when I was in middle school. It had belonged to Anu before that. I gave it to Raju's mother, when I was giving it Raju’s mother reminded me that I had once told Raju of some books. That was good; she wasn’t on the road when I had instantly stopped him to say that. I have story books to give him though.
I got new sandals today. I had gone with Anu to do the purchasing. She got me 20 percent discount from the scratch coupon that had 5 to 25 percent discount. I bought the sandals for R520. Plus, it was the last day of the three day offer of discount using the scratch card. On the way to the shop we were met by Ajir and other person who knew Anu. On the time of return Vinayak and Shubham crossed us. Anu asked why didn’t say hello to them. God, they are from the times gone by, also in summers they can always be found in the market. 
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-18

Index of Journals

June 18, 2011
My Facebook friend count is continuously decreasing, it is 93 today, it was 94 about five days back, and it was 102 on the evening of fifth June. What do I do? 
I am doing math, I am preparing plans to put math syllabus out before September. The day was fine otherwise. I slept for eight hours last night, and I didn't bath today. I have to say this because it has a sure tendency to become a big issue if I repeat this tomorrow. I want to study but I feel out of energy. 
I am thinking of wishing a scanner from Rekha buaji. The idea just came to my mind otherwise I was thinking of clothes, woolen sweaters, jeans, t-shirts. 
College reopens on 20th. 
Prachi came here today; she will leave for Dharamshala at four in the morning tomorrow. 
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-17

Index of Journals

June 17, 2011
The day was fine. I left for college around 1050 and got Neha’s message expecting me at college. I told her that I will be there in twenty minutes but I was actually one hour late. I had to ask for lift to a bike rider as we walk down the slope near red light. The man luckily dropped me at the college gates. I submitted the form and learned from Nikunj that Neha was with Vibha near canteen. I saw going past canteen, I rushed from behind the canteen to hop in their way. They were surprised. Vibha has learned to make a new face expression especially for me, it is like ‘what are you’ in real sarcastic way. Neha was worried about internship because she has two backs to clear and she missed both of the exams this time. In that she and I share the same worries so I discussed with her about the internship. She said she wants a government job because it has a lot of benefits. Vibha’s behavior was immature and I didn’t know why she was there. I had to see books on Linux but I couldn’t because I had already made it late to get to them so Neha didn’t let me, and then I wanted to talk to her.
I came back home around 1330 and watched ‘No one killed Jessica’ until five or something. That was pretty crazy. I also had to write about the trip and I got free only by 1830. I opened up math book once again and continued to work. I got message of Vibha around 2100 that I should avoid her. I kept deleting every message of her right after reading and was also avoiding her along the way but she didn’t understand this. She sent about three of her messages to get a reply for them. I talked to Sonam parallel to get my mind off of Vibha, talking to Sonam was really pleasant experience. Vibha was going to break up with me I knew of this, I had it in my mind that this bitch was just taking her time out to get away with me and it has finally happened; breaking up with anyone is not easy. Though I never felt for her so strongly but still losing a friend with instantaneous break would have been tough for me as well, she made it easy, huh. We talked of internship. I talked to anyone in Hindi after a long time, I realized that English was supposed to be my plus point and not my weakness, but since sticking to English would have cost me high so I used Hindi while talking to Sonam.
Sonal was here to meet Srishti and Mreeganka. Chachi was screaming from the balcony to compliment her new hair cut, it is boy cut, I heard. I didn’t give a fuck. 
Early in the morning Anu handed me R100 note, I kept it in my pocket without a word. She asked me if I was going to thank her. I thought it was given to her by amma to pass on to me but no; she was presenting me from her salary. She had shown me a check of around 1800, I guess, last night. It was her salary.
I texted a non vegan joke to Puja (Ankur’s girlfriend) and it cost me R1.5, I didn’t have an idea that she lived out of Delhi, huh.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-16

Index of Journals

June 16, 2011
We returned from Tijara today. I wasn’t feeling against it unlike Srishti and others who wanted to stay until evening. Babaji made the decision to move and we others had to. I woke up a little late; I hadn’t slept nicely the previous night because of the fear of the big and ugly spider that was hanging from the wall near my pillow. It was really sick to sleep with a fucking spider over your head whole time. Ankur had tried to wake me and I just rudely told him not to disturb me and to mind his own business. I didn’t feel about it until now but now that I am recollecting it is hurting me. 
Those people who manage the temple idols during the morning ceremony (or prakshal) act very rude to people, no matter who he is. When I went for prakshal at the main idol the man asked if the cloth I was wearing was of this place. What kind of question was that? On the other idol (on the left one), I was walking before babaji and Prashant accidentally. I had been taunted just a second before for not paying enough attention while walking through the people in the way by the priest. He used the same ugly tone for babaji and Prashant had him after this for a second. The priest didn’t stand there any longer until we had gone to the next idol. The priest actually needed it.
After puja we had breakfast. Babaji had been very polite with the old man who sold him milk. Today he had lifted his shop early and when babaji mistakenly sat on the milk shop next to his actual shop inside, babaji had to apologize for this happening. The face of that old man was very sad, because two milk shops can’t run together in one place side by side. The other shop, on which we sat, had advantage of being second from the end.
We went to our rooms and laid there to rest until we are signaled to go by any of the adults. I finished reading ‘Accidental billionaires’ by Mezrich Ben. It still felt good to read through the lives of Facebook makers. I was reading and reading and reading. People continued to do their own things, amma, Srishti, Shruti brought pakode to the room and we had banana chips already, this made up for the breakfast. While everyone was preparing to go, I was still reading the book. I got up around 0945 and pulled up pants. I had my things in my bag and now I just had to take it on my shoulder. I went to the other room and badi buaji shouted (in her usual tone), “Take one bag from one of these six and don’t make me remind you of this until we reach Delhi”. I took the black bag full of clothes, as it didn’t have anything that anyone might feel concerned about. The blue-green bag had shopped items in it. Prashant and I took the bed foams to the reception, Ankur was already there checking us out. Then we made a second round to help Shruti and badi buaji bring the bags down. After we collected in the reception, other six left for last prayer, arti with Shruti and me taking care of the things. Shruti left after a second and then I also went inside. It was Srishti who saw me first and soon all of them had given me a look one by one ignorantly. I got with babaji and stayed calm. I found the situation a little funny actually. I was smiling though no one else was. I had to do a lot of work in keeping this smile hidden.
Badi buaji was not very happy but she didn’t say anything. After arti we collected in the reception and were waiting for babaji who had gone to toilet, and amma was the escort. We were soon sitting in the car and were still waiting for it to get loaded with two more people. That sounded crazy to us. We didn’t have to wait to get to the bus, the bus came in our way and we just switched from car to bus. There was no seat available but there was going to be seat soon. I stood at the end and there was a woman who had a child with her. She was ugly as a hag in some fairy tale but still I had to give her a look when she was breastfeeding her child. I tried real hard to not think of woman while travelling and I was promising myself that I will not be a loser from now on. The hag fell asleep in the bus and left her stop behind before awakening again. There was a guy who was travelling with us in the crowded bus and he stood before Shruti and Srishti. Amma and badi buaji helped Srishti and Shruti get a seat early but I had to wait. That guy didn’t but that other man did, because he was closer. I too got a seat soon, first at the back and then with Srishti and Shruti after a little wait. That guy sat on my left on a seat ahead in the other row and Srishti and Shruti sat on my right in the respective order. Srishti started about Baba Ramdev being a negative personality, she continued saying it and just didn’t stop her though I was against. I wanted to know how much she knew. Shruti had turned her face at the beginning of the conversation and she was just now avoiding more and more. She had started to look uncomfortable even. Srishti soon stopped after she was left nothing else to say about Ramdev. That was the last conversation I had with her. She has been pretty easy with me since the day I returned, not bad. I took out DS book when bus started to move after short break. Ankur had brought biscuits then. There came a woman beggar (after a male) to ask for money, Prashant, Ankur and Shruti were finding it funny to joke with her by offering her biscuits. It is Prashant basically who is immature, Shruti was just giving way to his stupidity. I couldn’t resist and said ‘all of you are idiots’ Shruti couldn’t reason it and was for the first time acting bend down. Otherwise she has always been treating me like dirt. We fell asleep soon after and were awake only when we had reached closer to Delhi border. It was the last stop, Sarai Kale Khan soon and we got down. In those few minutes of wait Srishti never shut up. She kept whining for auto ride to home. I stood without a word from my mouth. Chachi found her way out to reach us after travelling long way around the bus stop. There was no direct road here so it was long. We packed into the car like how we had on the day of departure, nine people in one car. We got home and while Ankur and Prashant bathed I didn’t. I just washed my face and poured deodorant talc. Adults were talking about the DU cut-offs and where Shruti might get admission from the colleges listed in the newspaper. I checked my phone and there were five SMS’s. I was taken aback, of those two were from Vibha and two from non-vegan jokes website. Vibha wanted me contact Ankit sir because I hadn’t submitted a form to him due to which I wasn’t listed for summer training. I called Ankit sir and learned that we had to submit a form to him to let him know our choice of subject for summer training. I will have to go college tomorrow before two.
I put my things back into place and open the laptop to write down for two days. Before leaving, badi buaji told to go to temple but I had to go to temple and Shruti responded on this that she had already told her that I won’t. I slept until seven and responded to Vibha’s message only then. She had texted around six. I didn’t want to talk actually; she can't act bossy all the time. 
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-15

Index of Journals

June 15, 2011
Our second day here at Tijara, we did prakshal and puja in the morning. I woke up on time. It was nice to sleep in cooler. We had breakfast at the sweet maker’s shop. I had pakode. We came to our rooms after this and were snoozing to blow away the tiredness. Last night I had been in the room and Ankur was able to call me while I wasn’t. Ankur had to call me to the milk man for milk. I tried Vibha’s number and that struck. Ankur has been a little upset with me since I have been treating him like a child always. I would imitate fufaji, ‘PEHELWAAN JI, PADAI HOGAI PURI’ to tease him. We had been to a temple outside the main temple complex. It was made at a distance through inside streets of this place. It looked like another ordinary temple to me. 
There is a woman here who appear to me exactly like Gareema ma’am in terms of face features. Just that this woman is a little short and thinner than the hooker bitch Gareema. I didn’t want to catch her eye but I unfortunately did and we saw each other a thousand number of times after this during our stay here. I think I saw for the first time yesterday evening. Then we would see each other all the time in the common eating place. She was married and had a stupid looking husband but I didn’t bother to take any unnecessary advantage of anything, I wanted to stay out of light, forget about limelight. It happened otherwise; she felt unsafe and would occasionally look for me. That was sick. I think she has the exact face of Gareema ma’am. She, too, is hot. It was good to have Srishti and Shruti around because it would reflect my general attitude towards women. Presence of Srishti next to me would make me feel a little better; otherwise today the woman family had started to take the notice of me. It was now that I also got know her family, just the husband and mother-in-law. Srishti helped him take his eye off of me soon and helped me not to present a negative image at first sight.
In the afternoon babaji told me a story, it was just babaji, amma, and me in the room. It was an excerpt from Ramayana from the time Sita was pregnant and was sent to the woods. The moral of the story was that I can’t remember. It felt good to hear a story from babaji with amma correcting him from time to time. We had to go to the temple but there was paath going on there on the loud speaker. It was specially arranged by someone from Kanpur; it was the same person who had arranged the food for free everybody. We didn’t have to pay for food anytime, henceforth. They just postponed the plans of badi buaji, Srishti and Shruti to read chalisa forty times. Amma too wanted to spend time at the temple. The paath ran for three hours from two to five. 
In the evening, after saying arti at the main temple we went to the big idol made in the centre of a park and beautiful greenery. It was about 25 feet high and equal wide from knee to knee in sitting pose. The place is very beautiful. After going through the all the twenty four idols, Ankur, Prashant and I sat in the lawns. Shruti and Srishti were roaming around the place. There came a cop dressed like a civilian. He talked to Ankur about him being fat. It was a very normal talk. I felt bothered by it, I felt as if that cop was informed of us and he was just checking us there. After few minutes call came from Shruti and Srishti. 
When we returned to the main temple complex, Shruti and Srishti were showing interest in the babies, the toddlers who had come to the place. I was not interested in any but tried to show interest to spend a little time with them. We even talked to the mother of one on the temple’s periphery. 
I am very annoyed by that spider hanging from the wall near my pillow. I wondered myself hitting my hand on it in sleep and getting bitten. I hate insects and want to move it but I am not since it is a matter of just one night. I continued reading ‘Accidental Billionaires’ after a long time before going to sleep. It felt good; I am still in love with all of its characters. The spider was gone in the morning after staying there for more than a day.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-14

Index of Journals

June 14, 2011
I had night fall in the morning. God that sucks! I was awake around 0500 and others had already woken up. There was rush in the house. Badi buaji was making noise to wake Ankur up who had got down only after 0130 last night after talking to Prashant. I was awake and studying math, I was studying because there was nothing I could have done with Prashant and Ankur talking, and I can’t hear Prashant talk, he is still stupid no matter what. I had given his 19000 rank pretty much thought and I couldn’t find it impressive enough to make me feel unwell mentally. He is like one in every fifteen where I was one-in-every-ten. So what if on finding three like me you would have already found two like him. I was cleaning my notes for my last JEE preparation from the behind amma’s bed and I read out the study plan I had formulated for being one in fifty or one in hundred. It still sounded impressive and I was ready to give it a try. I am back again on the same track.
I somehow learned that my knickers were wet. I rushed to the room and there it was the wet patch on the bed sheet. Holy shit, I was taken aback for a second and but then we were leaving the place anyway. It was really feeling bad inside. I left the bed wet with my pull-over lying around it for not making it catch everybody’s attention.
I didn’t bath, nor did many others unlike how it was planned last night. There was no time left. Babaji was already ready to go and now it was us left behind. I didn’t bath and asked to pull over the same shorts which I wear most of the time at home. Babaji didn’t approve of it. I changed to jeans and we were ready to go. Badi buaji was making fuss about that small bag I was carrying with me, before leaving the house she put that Mazaa bottle filled with water in my bag. That was crazy. I couldn’t have said anything. 
We all jammed into SX4 and chachi drove us to the bus stop. I was quiet most of the time, I had to be quiet. Shruti has been unnecessarily rude to me like she owes me something. I sat on the window seat with Srishti on my left and Shruti on her left. The bus ride was easy, as we got the seats early and near the front. I had spent too much time loading my phone with songs but I never pulled out my ear phones. I read DS book instead. I was watching the women who were passing by, through the window on either side and in the bus, which was crazy. I am very different from the usual; I caught the eye of bus driver from the mirrors that were arranged above his head. I don’t know what I was looking for but it wasn’t probably a woman thing then. I sent a negative impression by my weird way of living. Women would always catch my eye first, and then the people in her vicinity. We had once gone to down to drink sugarcane juice and otherwise the ride was smooth. Last part was the auto ride when there was music and Ankur whistled through the way with the loud music in our ears. It wasn’t loud in terms of genre.

We got rooms with coolers. We settled fast. Babaji wanted the room downstairs but there were no cooler there. The first day wasn’t very far from the usual. Badi buaji would always be in her loud voice so there is nothing to write any new about her. Ankur, Prashant, babaji and I slept in one room and the ladies in the other. We got rooms side by side so it was easy to communicate. 
I listened to music before going to bed to prevent myself from the stupid talks of Ankur and Prashant. I wasn’t actually in the mood to listen to music but it was just out of utter formality to give my ear phones a chance since I had brought them here. Plus, I was thinking about my inclination for women, awful inclination.
God bless me
Ashish

/* NEPALI MATHERC**D AGAR TERI VAJAH SE PRASHANT OR MERE BEECH LADAI HUI TOH APNI MAA KO MUJHSE CH**NE SE BACHA LIYO */ A text message sent to Appu last year. I deleted lately, it is a master piece in its own.

2011-Jun-13

Index of Journals

June 13, 2011
It was fine. I got tired after doing math whole day yesterday. I was sleeping in the afternoon and I know that was out of time table but I couldn’t resist. I need to fit myself in real life situations. I need to be realistic in plans to achieve success without frequent failures. 
I loaded my phone with songs because we are going to Tijara for three days and I don’t know how it is going to be with me and family there. I will also carry my book, DS. I haven’t studied much today and I need to get back to math right away. We will leave at around five in the morning. I will right entries on phone there. 
Vibha texted in the evening to ask me 'where I was going', and also wished me happy journey. I am glad she is back.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-12

Index of Journals

June 12, 2011
The day was normal as it can be, I was studying math whole day to the limit that I was tired and bored by it. I was thinking of what others might be doing, I don’t want to miss anything. Sonam is never answering like a friend rather like she is doing me a big favor by answering me. She would sound like a robot who can’t tell anything without a proper input first. She has nothing to tell me, nor would she answer if I ask her something like Srishti Jain’s number. I needed to contact her to ask if she could arrange the notes of the teacher from the junior batch. Sonam didn’t help rather she flipped on the thing that I asked her if she knew anyone from the junior batch. I asked Vibha ‘how was she’ around the same time and asked her what she was doing. She said she was reading a novel. I told Sonam this to communicate and otherwise I had no interest in knowing what Vibha was doing. She had sent “F9.” After about 30 minutes and to the next question she had again sent one word answer ‘novel’. Sonam would watch TV and rest whole day. After another word she had written she was going for dinner so would talk to me later. She makes terrible mistakes in English, especially in question when she place subject before the verb.
Vibha is a real loser; it was just a week ago that she had broken up with me and today she fucking sounds back again.
I cleaned my closet in bed in amma’s room to make space for engineering books that I wouldn’t use. I had to throw away the notebooks and notes in which I had made while preparing for the JEE the second time. It didn’t feel bad as it should have been.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-11

Index of Journals

June 11, 2011
When I was at badi buaji’s place my phone started to malfunction. I think it’s because I had dropped it a few times, and then I also had to keep it in the bag which itself was never kept in particular place. The ‘walkman’ shortcut key had stopped working months back, now it is the music-keys-lock that stopped working with permanent lock on the flap buttons. I noticed that even camera was producing bad quality colors and decreased picture quality. 
Badi buaji isn’t as good as she would about being religious. She had washed my t-shirts and she let my white t-shirt remain under surf-water with other clothes of mine. The color of the t-shirt wasn’t white anymore, it is yellow now. The yellow check shirt owed it’s generosity on the t-shirt. It was badi buaji’s carelessness that I have lost my one good t-shirt which I have been wearing since many years now. She made it sure that I don’t revile about it; she hung one of Ankur’s white t-shirt (non-collared) to dry with the clothes of mine. She could now point to the white t-shirt of Ankur to say that fault was in my cloth that it absorbed color otherwise Ankur’s t-shirt is still white, guess what she hadn’t even washed it along with my clothes.
Not just this, yesterday I was looking for the packet of hangers which I had brought with myself here. She mixed those hangers with the hangers of self and then handed the distorted pieces to me. That was wrong; I didn’t have that many distorted pieces. I couldn’t have made that an issue. I didn’t want to be in any issue with anyone, like I already had less. 
Another thing, there was a shortage of electricity plugs in buaji’s house.
During OS exam Parul had helped me with RTOS question worth 2.5 marks, I couldn’t believe I was missing Real Time Operating Systems question. I was feeling thankful for her. 
Amogh types for Oxford publication to earn some money in these summers. That was great, inspiring actually. 
My entry over here is done, I came to grandpa’s room to wash my face after afternoon nap and when he commented on that, I showed him hand to stop and left. I was talking to Anu and she doesn’t feel good about Prashant getting anything better than what he looks like. He must have got 19000 in AIEEE because he deserved it; I don’t know why I or anyone else would have a problem with that even when there is no competition between us.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-10

Index of Journals

June 10, 2011
I moved from badi buaji’s house back to Mayur Vihar. I was not told about this day but it happened. In the morning buaji ask me to take me to the temple and right after coming back she disclosed the news to me. I was not happy or sad; I was doing my work (scanning question papers) and making plans to start with Math. This CS1E group was giving me a lot of tension and I had been a real trouble for these people as well. I don’t have to be sad being deleted because they weren’t making big deals inside the group just that the deals they were making I was getting to know those at least. 
I got ready around 1130 and when Ankur saw me packing up bags he informed buaji about it. Buaji called me and asked if I wanted anything. I asked her for calculator. She sent Kapil bhaiya and me to get it from a shopkeeper Kapil bhaiya knew about. In hurry the sick shopkeeper packed the low priced model in the box of high priced model (the one I had chosen) and handed it to us. That was sick. When I learnt about it at home, I told buaji and she would now get it replaced later. 
I hadn’t got any message since morning from anyone, I wanted to talk to Sonam or may be receive a text from Vibha but that didn’t happen. I got message from Vibha in the morning but then she broke off on an abrupt note like she owned me, what the hell was that? I couldn’t have said anything. I am paying back for my mistake; I still don’t think that was really a big issue.
I brought the books of fufaji which I had liked and I am happy to have them. I slept in the late afternoon when Manju buaji and badi buaji left. I went to get a haircut and shave and while returning I met with Harshit and soon Hardik came to jump in my way. We strolled and then sat for a while until it was time for Hardik to go. It was fun, I loved being with them. I counted my balance and it came out to be 6900R plus 95R change. That set my mood up, I am happy for the first time since fifth of June. I talked to Rekha buaji and she told me that she would be coming to India in winters this year. She told me about Sameer who was did Introduction to Computers (ITC) and was now doing Introduction to Programming (ITP) and Object Oriented Programming (OOPS) as summer activity.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-9

Index of Journals

June 9, 2011
I came back home around 1330. I wasn’t prepared very well for the exam, I had to wake up early around 0445 but it went on to become 0700. I wasn’t nervous by the way Manish showed himself up, so silly. I was studying my own selected topics and I didn’t know what Manish was reading, he had said he wasn’t prepared for the exam. Actually, he was and I wasn’t, I learned in the examination hall. The question paper didn’t have resume or CV. I was banking on that topic. I knew little about what they asked in unit 4, about GD, though I had given that topic good amount of time. I knew nothing in the first question I was sitting idly for the first half an hour. I started by looking here and there and by collecting few ideas of what to write. It was the unknown person on my left whose paper I was able to see to write two units, the first and the second. Sir didn’t say anything though he obviously knew, it was happening. I did unit third myself, it was transcription and I knew that. Before I could do fourth unit, Banga poked from behind for help and in order to show him, sir moved me to one of those first seats. I had to pull up unit-4 myself, hell.
I think had I been given enough marks in internals I would have passed this exam but unlucky me. I am skeptical about saying anything, whether or not my paper goes well by the help of luck, marks. I just realized that Manish who had to help me actually didn’t, though he took mine. He sat in between me and the rest of CSE students, closing all doors of help for me. I was lucky to have the EEE guy by my side. He was intelligent by the way of his answers. Manish is a bastard.
I came home with Vibha on my mind. I purchased message card to contact her and to ask her for a date but she was adamant about not talking to me. I was pissing so much inside first time for woman again after it had been over with Sonal. I didn’t try to pull it too long after we exchanged about 11 messages (six by me and five from her) in a time span of about one and a half hour in which she made it clear three times that she knew mw very well and I should not hold any hopes anymore.
I contacted Sonam right after and she seems to be friendly, my heart was light hearted again after that. I went to Facebook and there were still many CS1E students whom I can catch online. My friends reduced from 97 to 95. It was 102 at 1900, 5th June. I was talking to Sonam, Anubhav about Vibha and what I had planned ahead. We were not friends anymore I declared to them all. I had texted ‘I want to have sex’ to Gurarchi and she also contacted later after about an hour of wait. I downloaded photos of Vibha, in case there is an emergency for me to take revenge. 
Soon after I was talking to Gurarchi, and the conversation with Ravi was going on, buaji called out for dinner monstrously. I had call it over with both of them, hell. It was awkward, way to awkward in case of Gurarchi, whom I never contacted since many months thoughshe kept texting without getting an answer ever.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-8

Index of Journals

June 8, 2011
The OS exam went fine. The exam was delayed by 50 minutes and after that we got photocopies to work with. In those 50 minutes I learned about the spread of the news about the deleted wall post of mine. It is already news, though I have been removed from CS1E. Arushi Jain, Apurv, Nishant were asking about it. I myself told about this to Arun who sits right in front of me, and is a help during the exam. I had reached the college gate early to get along with others before Vibha comes around. Aditya Mohan showed sympathy over what happened, Gaurav Sati too, there are still people who assure me that they will add me soon, Apurv and Gaurav Gupta. Ravi was ignoring me in the beginning but then he was just friendly again. It felt better to see the people not showing hatred like I saw on internet that night. On the day of CG exam, Kriti Bahl was giving me that look with big eyes like somebody gave a fuck.
The question paper seemed like from out-of-the-book topics. There were no numerical questions unlike all times and the theory scared everyone at first site. They had asked to write short note on Windows 7, funny. I got to carry on with paper with time and felt comfortable as the time passed, Arun found difficulty in a numerical. I knew how to do it but I confused myself with the wrong name ‘FCFS’ instead of ‘SCAN’ for it and I told FCFS to Arun, I was feeling extremely guilty for this.
I slept though I had to be awake to study. I couldn’t go with the pace I had to go with to do English. I was feeling sick because of sleeping on this distorted bed of Ankur. I ate food around 2130 and put the fruits in the fridge. It was around 2330 that Vibha called to waste 20 minutes of mine, she flipped out on me. Her voice was so stiff, I was hearing for the first time and she sounded like ending this relationship. She rebuked me for everything, she threatened me to get me beaten up by Akash Rajpoot and she also said that had I written it about Shruti B, I wouldn’t have dared to come to write the exam the next day. I knew inside that it was totally true but still I felt bad when she said it. She said that she felt pity for my mother and sister, and my whole family. She called me unsociable, and that I was dangerous for whoever was friendly with me. She referred to Sonam, Dhanraj, and Manish while saying that these people had informed her about the risk she was taking by going after me. They say I am nymphomaniac. She said I really jeopardized her performance in the exams CG and OS.
I couldn’t concentrate after this, in the room Ankur and Shruti were playing with Jabru and it was really getting late. I went to Shruti’s room and studied until 0045, and then I went to sleep. I had tried calling Vibha three times at 0030 and then again at 0130, when I couldn’t catch sleep. I had called Ravi to share my plan about going on group date with him, Vibha, and Sonam, but he was going to bed at that moment so I just said good night.
I haven’t done anything more than transcription for the exam tomorrow.
God bless me
Ashish