Turn Two-Step Verification
Two-step verification requires a person to use more than one form of verification to access an account, usually by "knowing something" such as a password and by "having something" such as a mobile device. Two-step verification can greatly reduce identity theft and unauthorized access to sensitive information since most accounts become compromised from new or unknown computers or devices.
Two step verification gives you additional security by requiring a verification code whenever you sign in on new device.
Turning this feature on will sign you out anywhere you’re currently signed in and remove all your remembered devices. It will also remove the access you may have provided to any partner or services.
Your phone number helps us keep your account secure by adding an additional layer of verification. It also helps others, who already have your phone number, discover and connect with you. You can always decide how you want your phone number used.
If you’ve chosen to use app-based verification, follow the steps below:
1. Install an authenticator app such as "Microsoft Authenticator".
2. Open the app and tap "Add Account".
3. Select "Other" account on Microsoft Authenticator.
4. Setup your device by choosing to:
4.1. Scan QR Code: Use the Scanning Tool found within the Authenticator App.
4.2. Enter the Verification Code: Enter the secret key into the Authenticator App.
5. Enter the 6-digit verification code generated by your authenticator app to verify your device.
Now your device is ready for two-step authentication. Whenever you log in from a new device, open your Authenticator app and enter the code when prompted.
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How LinkedIn Uses Your Phone Number
If you've provided us with your phone number, we may use it for the following reasons:
1. To help secure your account if we detect suspicious activity.
If you add your phone number to enable two-step verification, we'll send a verification code to your phone if we detect an unusual sign-in attempt.
2. To prevent abuse.
If we suspect potential abuse, we can ask you to provide your phone number as an additional verification to prove you're a real person. Learn more about security verification.
3. To help you reset your password.
When you add a mobile phone number to your account , we'll automatically enable it for this purpose.
4. To help others find you.
If someone uploads their address book and your phone number is included, we may suggest them as a connection. Other permitted services may also look up your profile using your email address or phone number. You can always decide how you want your phone number used.
Note: Your phone number won't appear on your profile unless you add it to the Contact Info section on your profile. Carrier charges may apply. Contact your phone provider for details.
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Additional Screenshots
1. LinkedIn allows login via Google
2. For MFA verification you either get SMS or call
3. LinkedIn's 6 Security Settings
LinkedIn Active Sessions
Current session
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.222.34
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
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Last accessed
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2 hours ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Chrome Mobile on Android
IP Address:
2402:3a80:100d:f2e6:722b:5f93:81f:f5cf
IP Address Owner:
Vodafone India Ltd.
17 hours ago
Rupnagar, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.253.217
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
7 days ago
Rupnagar, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.253.92
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
10 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
150.129.198.64
IP Address Owner:
Quadrant Televentures Limited
13 days ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.255.178
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
13 days ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.254.57
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
15 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Windows
IP Address:
117.96.241.198
IP Address Owner:
Bharti Airtel Ltd C-25 Phase-2 Industrial Area. Mohali Sas Nagar Punjab-160055 In
15 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Chrome on Windows
IP Address:
117.96.241.198
IP Address Owner:
Bharti Airtel Ltd C-25 Phase-2 Industrial Area. Mohali Sas Nagar Punjab-160055 In
18 days ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
180.214.159.10
IP Address Owner:
Quadrant Televentures Limited
24 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
125.62.99.248
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
24 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
125.62.99.248
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
25 days ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.61.165
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
26 days ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.252.60
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
27 days ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
125.62.97.227
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
27 days ago
Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Edge on Windows 10
IP Address:
34.93.130.32
IP Address Owner:
Avago Technologies U.s. Inc.
1 month ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.255.45
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
1 month ago
Jalandhar City, Punjab, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.222.160
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
1 month ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
124.253.220.238
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
1 month ago
Chandigarh, Chandigarh, India
Firefox on Ubuntu
IP Address:
210.56.98.243
IP Address Owner:
Chandigarh
1 month ago
Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Chrome on Windows
IP Address:
34.93.130.13
IP Address Owner:
Avago Technologies U.s. Inc.
You can view Facebook's security settings at this URL:
https://www.facebook.com/settings?tab=security
Refer this link for Facebook's MFA settings.
1. If you are using a Gmail ID to login on Facebook, Facebook then allows you to login via Google Authentication if you provide incorrect password:
2. As a cyber security instruction: 'Never let Facebook remember your browser'.
3. As a cyber security instruction: 'Never let Facebook remember your password'.
4. You can view the devices that you have authorized to by-pass the MFA check:
5. Facebook allows you to add 3 to 5 contacts as your 'Trusted Contacts' to whom you can call for account recovery in case you are locked out:
6. Additional information about the role of 'Trusted Contacts':
6.a. Your trusted contacts should make sure that it is you before giving you security codes.
6.b. Enter the codes from your trusted contacts, and you'll be able to access your account.
6.c. To begin, choose 3 to 5 friends that you can call for help if there's ever a problem with your account. For your security, we'll notify any new contacts that you add.
This post is about my 'short-term long-distance text-based fling' with a girl I found on Tinder. The topic of Akriti came up when a friend of mine brought up the topic of my female friends. I think I enjoyed every conversation with Akriti. She had a very good sense of humor or might be that it matched mine, which is poor. For instance I do make up and crack 'Data Scientist' jokes such as this one:
The HR went to the chatbot expert and said, 'would you please build an FAQ chatbot for us?'. The chatbot expert came back to the HR and said, "hey, could you please rephrase 'what is your name' in five different ways?".
I don't think common people would get it but I do think that it is funny.
Akriti and I dated for 2-3 months at first in 2019.
I was on Tinder to only explore and nothing serious. Also, Tinder is not some app for a serious engagement. People (like me) go to Tinder to explore things, they don't go their to find their true soul mate.
I had asked her for her number a lot of times but like any other female on that app, she also had trust issues.
In December, she had removed me from her contacts for no apparent reason. The thing I do remember is that she used to tell me (like 2 or 3 times in that period) that "if anytime you feel disinterested, you can always swipe left."
We separated for about three months. Then she came back. She had found me on the Tinder app again and sent me a request to connect. This time she gave me her number after some nudging.
Sadly, the number was mostly off, or inactive. Her true caller name was not Akriti and the picture was not pretty as it was on Tinder.
We broke up again after I revealed certain things to her about myself. I told her that I am not rich and am not having the resources to start a family or settle down. She took it on a lighter note on the chat and laughed. But our communication reduced after that message, she had stopped responding and it was over.
Now the important question:
How do you know if that person was real when you had not seen her or knew anything about her reliably?
Answer:
Anything that the person on that app tells you, you have take that on face value. You cannot get into interogative mode, you cannot ask them to submit experience letter and address proof.
For example:
1. Akriti would tell me that she is in Shimla but the app used to show that she is 54 KMs away.
2. Her display picture showed her hair from the back and that was it. No clue of what she might have looked like.
It occurs to me that it would be interesting if I take it up as a challenge to describe her picture. Let's do it:
It was a very sensual picture of a beautiful girl. Since Akriti was from Shimla (Himachal), the weather at the time and spot when that picture was taken would be best described as a pleasant winter night. The ambience of the place is festive like a Diwali night or a wedding night or like a bonfire night. The girl is in a red ethinic dress, a kurti maybe, or a lehenga choli with her silky soft hair falling freely.
Memoir...
This is not a very good representation of her dress since red lehenga choli seems very synonymous with an Indian bridal dress but it was not bridal wear.
Nor is the picture below matches with what I wrote above but it is still a very good reminder:
Title: Journal (Akriti Chauhan from Tinder)
Tags: Journal,
These are the people who dropped out of school in 8th class, 9th class or so. It is hard to say what got them to sell vegetables like how they are doing.
There are never women who are screaming to sell vegetables or fruits, and always (98% percent of the times) men. And not old men but men who are mostly below 40-45.
When asked they would tell you that they make roughly 500-600 rupees as profit on a day on average.
From what I know, have seen and experienced, these people appear in the neighborhood sometime around 8 in the morning and the “show” goes on till 12, 12:30 in the afternoon. And then there are sometimes some vendors make rounds in the evening.
The sound of L as a syllable ‘ley’ or ‘lo’ at the end of a Hindi word is very shrill and annoying. It is not just 'L', it could be other similar sounds as well such as the sound of 'N' in "kinnow low kinnow".
When I checked with police about what can done about those miscreants who scream at the top of their lungs to be heard in a radius approaching a kilometre, the cop said what they are doing is not correct but it is difficult for police to manage the neighborhoods that way. They suggested that these vendors are issued licences from municipal corporation (or mayor, am not sure) and police would be of absolute help if I have all the details about these miscreants that are required in a formal complaint.
Tags: Journal,Indian Politics
People will readily admit that they have poor handwriting, are poor at math or are a klutz. But they’ll never admit they have a poor sense of humor. — George Carlin
Let’s begin our journey into the world of workplace humor by clearing up some myths that people have about humor, and in particular the idea of humor in the workplace.
Myth #1: “I’m humorously challenged. I’m just not funny and I couldn’t tell a joke if my life depended on it, so this topic doesn’t really apply to me.”
Having a sense of humor is about having a sense of balance, perspective and proportion. A sense of humor is the ability to recognize the incongruities and absurdities that confront us on a daily basis. In other words, it is the ability to look at the same thing as everyone else and see something just a little different. It’s rather fitting that we call it a “sense” of humor because, as with our other senses, it is a way of taking in and processing information about the world around us.
To say that someone has a great sense of humor simply means that person can find the humor in a given situation. If your humor sense is finely focused for 20-20 humor vision, when you see a newspaper headline that reads “Stolen Painting Found By Tree,” you’ll think, “Wow, what a clever tree!” And when you see a sign in a fast-food restaurant proclaiming “We don’t just serve burgers, we serve people!” you’ll likely chuckle and say to yourself, “I wonder what people taste like?” And if complete chaos greets you on a Monday morning at the office, that same sense of humor helps you find something to laugh at in the midst of the mayhem.
Having a keen sense of humor is much more than just finding the humor in a situation, though. A well-developed humor sense helps you maintain your head in a crisis, problem solve in a creative fashion and manage your stress so that you can deal with problems head on. The ability to access your humor really is an important resource you can depend on in times of trouble. Having a sense of humor, then, isn’t about being funny, it’s about rolling with the punches, flowing with the current and letting the small things in life bounce harmlessly off you. It’s about gaining control, not necessarily over what’s happening to you, but at least over your emotions and reactions to it.
Myth #2: Don’t worry, be happy... and all our problems will magically disappear!
Adding positive humor can never make a situation worse, even in a workplace where more serious issues lie beneath the surface. If you’re going through a crisis, humor will help people to better manage change, deal with their stress and be more open and flexible—attributes you’ll need to solve those deeper workplace issues. So rather than treating humor in the workplace like window dressing, use it as part of a comprehensive approach to managing people and fostering a more productive, healthy and creative work environment.
It is my belief, you cannot deal with the most serious things in the world unless you understand the most amusing. — Winston Churchill
Myth #3: “I’m a professional, and if I have fun, people aren’t going to think I take my job seriously!”
We’ve all met people who suffer from professionalitis. They’re the people who went to school longer than the rest of us, who have 14 letters following their names (as in Joe Schmenko, B.A., MD, Ed.,
PhD, H2O, Y2K), who possess an important sounding title (like Assistant Director of the Adjudicator for Administrative Protocol, Procurement and Management) and, yes, who carry a briefcase. The briefcase, permanent scowl and zombie-like walk are all sure-fire signs that these folks are professionals. You can spot them a mile away. They might as well be carrying a neon sign flashing Here Goes a Professional above their head. These folks believe that they must take everything around them, especially themselves, seriously at all times, since to do otherwise is simply unprofessional. They worry that if they are seen smiling, laughing or, God forbid, having fun, they’ll be accused of not taking their jobs seriously.
Fortunately this condition is treatable, especially if detected in its earliest stages.
The treatment is painless and simple: it’s learning to tell the difference between taking yourself seriously and your work seriously.
One is necessary, the other is lethal. We need to believe in what we are doing and to take our work or mission in life as a serious undertaking, but that doesn’t mean taking ourselves seriously. In fact, considering all the tremendous benefits of humor, we need to take ourselves lightly in order to be professional.
Some of the most outlandish examples of humor in the workplace come from professions that really do deal with life-and-death situations. Many doctors and nurses know the value of maintaining a well-balanced sense of humor. Often, the humor they use is known as “gallows humor” and, to an outsider, may not always be appreciated or understood. Yet the professionals on the inside of this stressful world depend on this humor to keep their sanity and distance themselves from the tragedy around them, so that they can perform their jobs as professionally as possible.
So if you take your job seriously, practice taking yourself lightly.
And if you detect some early symptoms of professionalitis, recall the words of comedian George Carlin: “We’re all amateurs. It’s just that some of us are more professional at it than others.”
I never did a day of work in my life—it was all fun! — Thomas Edison
Myth #4: “If I put out the humor welcome mat, employees are going to use it as an excuse to act childish and as a license to goof off.”
“I can see it now,” some managers moan. “There will be whoopee cushions at the next board meeting, executives dressing up like Elvis and streakers at our summer barbecue. Our office will become total anarchy! No work will ever get done and I just know someone is going to make me dress up like a chicken!”
Relax. You Can’t Be Serious! is about using humor in a safe, relevant and appropriate manner. It’s also about blending humor with our existing goals to help everyone become more efficient and productive, not less. I’m suggesting we need to be more child-like (curious, playful, creative, imaginative) on our jobs, not childish (so the chances of being forced to dress up like a chicken are slim, at best).
And although there are a lot of positive benefits to “goofing off” in this over-caffeinated, hyperactive society, I’m not suggesting that humor or play be used as an excuse for chronic lollygagging about.
Even in playful, humor-filled organizations, people are still held accountable. Indeed, there are numerous reasons why employees don’t perform their jobs effectively that have nothing to do with a high level of fun in a work environment.
% Management hires the wrong people.
% Employees haven’t been given clear goals or directions.
% Employees haven’t been trained or given the proper tools.
% Talented people are wasted when the right people are given the wrong task to perform (known as “trying to turn an acorn into an elm” syndrome).
% Employees haven’t been evaluated since the disco era.
Never, however, have I yet to find a single example of people who didn’t perform their work proficiently because they were enjoying what they were doing and having a great time doing it!% When work is a pleasure, life is joy! When work is a duty, life is slavery. — Maxim Gorky
% Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods. — Japanese proverb
Myth #5: The bottom line is the bottom line!
After my humor seminars, some managers approach me with a look of grave concern (you can practice this look—just furrow your brow, squint a little and lose the smile). They haven’t quite bought into this whole “adding humor to work thing” because, as they remind me, in the world of business, the bottom line is profits, dollars and productivity. One business giant even shared with me, in a rather hushed toned, the following little gem, “The bottom line is the bottom line.” (A brief confession—I used to think the bottom line was that little underwear line you see on people’s bums.) These bottom-liners (not to be confused with bottom-feeders) are concerned that if they mix fun with business, their much-coveted bottom line will begin to sag. It’s a concern that just doesn’t hold water.
If putting humor to work in the workplace reduces stress levels,
increases creativity, improves morale, strengthens teamwork, facilitates open communication, builds trust between management and employees and reduces employee absenteeism and turnover rates, then will it not ultimately lead to increased productivity? Of course it will. We do best what we enjoy doing. It’s just that simple. Humor in the workplace is a means to a better end, not the end itself.
The number one premise of business is that it need not be boring or dull. It ought to be fun. If it’s not fun, you’re wasting your life. — Tom Peters, management expert
Myth #6: We’re spoiled! All work and no play is the way it has always been.
There is a common misconception that primitive cultures spent most of their time barely eking out an existence. Life for these people was typically assumed to fall nicely under the “all work and no play” billing. Reality suggests that the opposite is true. Historically, primitive tribes spent a very small portion of time working. Early African and Australian tribes typically spent only 3 to 5 hours a day working; the remainder of the day was spent on rest and play.
Myth #7: Humor is trivial.
Humor, I think, is responsible for more important human advances than physics, medicine or any other science. It teaches us to see things in proportion. — George Mikes, humor author
“Okay, so maybe I can buy the fact that humor is useful. But can it really do that much for us? Isn’t it just icing on the cake—it’s nice to have, everyone likes it, but surely we can live without it?”
Sure. We could survive without humor in the workplace if we had to. We could also sleepwalk our way through life and count the years we have left until retirement. And our business can cruise along on autopilot, year after year. Sigh.
Or we could imagine another scenario, where we are fully awake and participating actively and completely in our work lives. Our workplaces are exciting, dynamic, creative and fully energized places to work. We can soar to new heights and achieve the kind of success we once only dreamed about. And we can become the kind of place where everyone wants to work.
Many organizations spend profuse amounts of time and money focused on their physical assets and “hard” skills, like budgeting and project management, while relegating topics like humor in the workplace to the “soft” side of the business ledger. But as business management author Tom Peters reminds us, focusing solely on profits is like trying to play tennis while watching the scoreboard.
More and more leaders now recognize the so-called “soft stuff” is not trivial, indeed, it’s the soft stuff, including humor in the workplace, that is essential to the success of any organization.
And, to counter the notion that humor is trivial, there are countless tales of adventurers, explorers, hostages, cancer patients, natural disaster victims and even holocaust survivors that pay tribute to the role played by their sense of humor in literally saving their lives. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl describes the horrific ordeal of surviving an internment camp during World War II. He had everything taken from him: his family, his profession, his possessions and his home. The one thing Frankl vowed that no one could take away was his inner spirit and his sense of humor. He made a pact with a friend in the camp that each day they would share a joke or a humorous observation about life in the camp or about life after they were freed. For example, Frankl quipped about one of the camp guards, “Imagine, I knew him when he was only a bank president.” Viktor Frankl actually found the humor in that unspeakably tragic situation, and he credits this attitude with helping him save his life.
In a similar vein, Vietnam POW Captain Gerald Coffee recounts in his book Beyond Survival, how he was at the end of his rope until he noticed a small hole while scrubbing a rat-infested shower stall.
Beside the hole read the inscription “Smile – You’re On Candid Camera!” And smile he did. That silly little humor zap caused him to laugh uncontrollably and gave him just enough of a changed perspective to give him hope for survival.
And I still stand by my statement that humor probably makes the coffee taste a whole lot better.
Humor is not only distinctively human, but important to human life in a way that nothing else is. — John Morreall, Professor of Philosophy
Ch 2: Why Humor is Such a Powerful Stress Buster
Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them. — Epictetus, Greek philosopher
I don’t want to stress you out, but we all know that stress in the workplace is bad news (the harmful variety, not the catalyst breed we need to fight off grizzlies or win an Olympic gold medal).
As most people know, stress is not the problem; it’s how we react or how our mind interprets the stressors in our lives that causes problems. In other words, it’s not the traffic jam on the way to work that stresses us out, it’s our thoughts about the traffic jam that cause stress. That’s why people with optimistic attitudes and a welldeveloped sense of humor don’t necessarily have less stress in their lives—in fact, they may even have more stressors to deal with—it’s that they’ve chosen to interpret the stressors they face in a way that keeps them balanced, sane and happy.
Stress is a morale destroyer, creativity squasher and, ultimately, a people killer. Medical studies report that stress is as dangerous to a person’s health as a lack of physical exercise.
Prolonged exposure to stress can cause up to 1,500 chemical changes in the body. Stress increases the heart’s demand for oxygen, increases body fat, cholesterol and blood pressure, lowers the immune system, kills brain cells and increases the risk of heart disease and cancer. Highly stressed workers have seven times the rate of high blood pressure and heart disease. Stress also increases the incidence of other injuries such as back problems and carpal tunnel syndrome. And if all that isn’t bad enough, stress can impede our memory, cloud our thinking, increase the incidents of workplace conflict (1998 U.S. Justice Department figures report 2 million violent workplace episodes per year), play havoc with our hormones and short wire our nervous systems. And where is all our stress coming from? In a recent survey, Canadian and American workers reported that the number one stressor in their lives is the workplace. I’m getting stressed out just thinking about all this.
If you feel you never suffer from the effects of stress, then I am fairly certain a few scientists would like to study you. There is simply no escaping it. We can run, we can hide, but it will find us, and in more shapes and sizes than ever before. Do you remember how, in the good old days, there was just, well, stress? Not anymore. Now there is information fatigue syndrome, techno-stress, cyber-stress, post-stress disorder and delayed stress syndrome. There’s road rage, air rage, subway rage, office rage, web rage and even desk rage (whatever happened to just good old-fashioned rage?).
There are ways to manage stress. Some of them are illegal (drugs, tossing the photocopier out a 10-story window), while others are highly unethical (putting your boss’s tie through the paper shredder).
Fortunately, there are also many sane and practical solutions.
You can change jobs, set more realistic goals, manage your time better, alter your diet, get more physical exercise, sleep more or practice meditating. Alas, there is no magic pill (no, I do not consider Prozac to be a “magic pill”) or simple, short-term solutions to managing stress. The good news, however, is, that many psychologists believe humor is the complete opposite of stress, so you should consider humor a powerful tool to keep handy in your stress-busting repertoire.
Are You Too Stressed to Be Here?
Here are a few symptoms that could be early warning signs, akin to the canary in the coal mine, that you could be a little overtaxed at work. If you answer yes to three or more of the following, please watch two comedies and call me in the morning.
1. You “cc” the Pope on all your e-mail correspondence.
2. It takes four hours for your hair to unwind at the end of every workday.
3. You wake up screaming only to realize you hadn’t fallen asleep yet.
4. You giggle uncontrollably every time you hear the word “buttocks” or “squeegee.”
5. You ask the deli to fax you over a bagel.
6. You are beginning to think of Hell as a viable career alternative.
THE COST OF WORKPLACE STRESS IS STRESSING ME OUT!
There is a myriad of reports, studies and surveys that suggest our level of workplace stress is exacting a costly toll. Here are just a few of their findings:
1. More people die of heart attacks on Mondays than any other day because of the stress involved in going back to work.
2. According to Psychology Today magazine, 40% of employee turnover is related to stress, and on an average workday, one million American workers are off the job due to stress-related problems.
3. One out of every three Canadians between the ages of 25 and 44 classified themselves as workaholics in a 1998 Statistics Canada survey.
4. According to a report by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Service, 18,000 assaults occur weekly in U.S. workplaces.
5. 24% of people surveyed by the Yale School of Management reported being chronically angry at work.
6. According to Alberta Venture magazine, in 1997, Canadians cited stress and mental anxiety more than physical illness or injury as a reason for workplace absenteeism.
These numbers speak volumes. Of course, you don’t need statistics and surveys to know there is a stress epidemic going on. Just look at your co-worker. Right now. The one carrying his computer over to the sixth-story window. Surely, you don’t want to end up like him?
Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness. — Ellie Katz Why Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine
For years, doctors have known that negative emotions, such as anger and worry, affect our physical well-being, yet only recently have they asked the alternative question: What might positive emotions do for our well-being?
Dr. Norman Cousins was a pioneer in the study of the relationship between our emotions and health, or psychoneuroimmunology (try throwing that little nugget into your next business conversation). His 1979 book Anatomy of an Illness outlined his recovery from a “terminal” illness through the use of humor. Dr. Cousins locked himself in a hotel room, where he watched funny videos and prescribed himself a heavy dose of humor therapy, after noticing that a good 20-minute belly laugh gave him two hours of painless rest in the hospital. As Cousins astutely observed, “Laughter is inner jogging.”
Cousins was a noted jokester during his stay in the hospital. On one occasion he poured his morning apple juice into his urine sample bottle, then, after remarking to the nurse that his sample was looking a little cloudy, suggested he “run it through” again and poured the “urine” down his throat in front of the dismayed nurse.
Since Cousins’ pioneering efforts, other doctors and medical researchers have begun exploring the humor and health connection.
Many health researchers now believe that people with a positive, optimistic and humorous attitude get sick less often, and when they do get ill are likely to recover more quickly. We now know that when we experience a good hearty laugh, we:
1. relax and reduce tension in our abdomen, shoulder, throat and facial muscles
2. massage our internal organs, which aids digestion
3. take in six times the normal level of oxygen
4. double our heart rate
5. lower our blood pressure (after the laughter subsides)
6. stimulate our nervous system
7. improve our circulation
8. burn as many calories as during a brisk walk
9. reduce our amount of stress-inducing serum cortical
10. perhaps trigger an increase in the amount of pain-killing opioids such as endorphins and enkephalins (although this assertion is widely claimed in the popular media, no definitive proof has been found)
11. lower our cholesterol
12. possibly increase activity in cells that attack tumor cells and viruses
13. possibly reduce some headaches, especially tension headaches
14. activate T lymphocytes, which in turn boost the immune system
15. increase the amount of salivary immunoglobin A, an antibody that helps fight against infections in the upper respiratory track
16. possibly mitigate the effects of diseases such as hypertension, heart disease and diabetes
17. create a two-step process of stimulation and relaxation by the release of adrenaline and noradrenaline, which reduces inflammation and enhances blood flow
18. may reduce or suppress some types of allergies
19. improve our lung capacity
20. increase production of catecholamines which leads to improved levels of alertness and memory
21. carry away toxins (found in cells under stress) in our tears (of laughter or sorrow)
Doctors have also discovered that some of the positive effects on our body can last up to 24 hours after a good laugh. Dr. William F. Fry found that just 20 seconds of laughing provides the same cardiovascular workout as 3 minutes on a rowing machine (now I just go to the gym, open up a big bag of potato chips and laugh at the people working out). Dr. Fry actually recommends laughing 100 times a day (6 times per waking hour) – the equivalent caloric workout to 10 minutes of jogging or rowing—as a reasonable prescription for a healthy lifestyle.
Another study found that humor works faster on the body than either Valium or vodka. And yet more research (where subjects held their hands in ice cold water while listening to jokes) shows that humor increases our tolerance for pain (I think that’s why James Bond throws out glib one-liners whenever he’s being smacked around).
Another study found that humor works faster on the body than either Valium or vodka. And yet more research (where subjects held their hands in ice cold water while listening to jokes) shows that humor increases our tolerance for pain (I think that’s why James Bond throws out glib one-liners whenever he’s being smacked around). And the wonderful thing about humor is you don’t need government or FDA approval to use it! You don’t need a permission slip from your doctor, you don’t have to stay overnight in the hospital, you don’t need an organ transplant, you don’t need to see your pharmacist and you sure as heck don’t have to walk around in one of those rearview hospital gowns. And as humorist Dale Irwin says, “Laughter is free, legal, has no cholesterol, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients and is absolutely safe!” Furthermore, humor is not bad for the ozone layer, it’s not tested on chimps or dogs (at least not to my knowledge), you don’t have to sit in a special section in the restaurant, you don’t have to sneak it through customs and you don’t have to stuff it into the overhead compartment when you fly. You don’t need a permit, you don’t need to hide it from your parents (or your children) and you don’t have to drive across town to use it. Our sense of humor is portable, fully mobile and with us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, `til death do us part. And speaking of `til death do us part, research into longevity suggests that one of the key ingredients to a longer life is the retention of child-like properties into old age, like curiosity, imagination and, of course, a sense of humor. In fact, some researchers suggest that for every 15 seconds we laugh, two days are added to our lifespan.
% Laughter is the most inexpensive and most effective wonder drug. — Bertrand Russell
% The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the attitude of the mind. — William James
One of the first signs of a mental health problem such as paranoia or schizophrenia, is the absence of humor in a person’s life. Failing to find humor in a stressful situation can indicate an overly rigid attitude. By contrast, a healthy dose of silliness in the face of a stressful event is a sign of good mental health. (Just consider this simple thought: when was the last time you needed professional help because you were laughing too much?) It shouldn’t come as a surprise, then, that in addition to its numerous physical benefits, humor helps us cope mentally with stress. Here are five reasons why humor is such a potent weapon in the battle against stress.
1. Humor is the Best Brain Floss Around
Worry is the interest we pay on a debt that we may never owe. — Bill Wolff
2. Humor Changes Our Perspective
When we are stressed, we tend to exaggerate. Molehills become mountains, and minor setbacks become international incidents. Why? Because when we’re stressed, our mental perspective focuses solely on the problem, magnifying it until it fills our entire mental frame like an enlarged photograph. Soon we imagine that the problem is so bad we will lose our jobs, and then, naturally, we’ll have to sell the house, the children and even our feet. When we’re thinking this way, it’s difficult to find anything to laugh about.
Yet, when we recall some of the funniest moments in our lives, it often brings up events that, at the time, were not remotely funny. We can usually laugh about a crisis or a stressful situation under one of the following conditions:
1. When the crisis is happening to someone else. As Will Rogers said, “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.” We often laugh at the humorous misfortune of others for the simple reason we are not personally affected by it, and, therefore, have some emotional distance from it.
2. When we have gained distance through time. Dr. Steve Allen, Jr.
reminds us that “Tragedy + Time = Comedy.” For minor stressful episodes, a few hours may be all we need before we can laugh, but for larger catastrophes, it may take us months or even years to find some humor in a situation.
3. When we have gained physical distance from the crisis. Flying to Mexico for a holiday can provide us with enough distance, literally, from a problem to make it easier to find the humor in a stressful situation.
In other words, we can find humor in a stressful event by changing our perspective. We can laugh when enough emotional, temporal or physical space allows us to look at a crisis with a more realistic and broader view. Looking back on a disastrous job interview five years ago, you can laugh about the experience because it now seems so minor in the larger scheme of things. And when you replay the episode of spilling coffee onto the interviewer’s lap, you feel like you’re watching the events unfold through the eyes of a third party, as though the whole thing happened to someone else.
So humor can help us manage a stressful event while it’s happening to us by giving us some much-needed change in perspective.
It distances us from stress by removing our tunnel-vision glasses and replacing our perspective with a more peripheral, flexible and realistic view. That’s why psychologists consider the ability of patients to laugh at their own problems to be an excellent sign of healing. Patients who can laugh have distanced themselves enough to view their problems from a removed perspective.
Humor shatters the magnifying lens focused on an event and reminds us of a few simple facts.
1. To err is human and to err is humor. We’re all human and people sometimes mess up.
2. We’re not perfect and neither is life.
3. If a meteor the size of Texas was scheduled to collide with our lovely planet next Tuesday, chances are we wouldn’t be too worried about our seemingly insurmountable problem.
4. Compared to most of the headlines we’ll read in tomorrow’s paper, this, in all likelihood, isn’t a big a deal.
5. Although laughing won’t solve the problem, neither will being serious, angry or depressed. So you may as well laugh.
And finally, tapping into our humor resources reminds us of a basic truth. We know we’ll laugh about this bad situation someday, so why miss out? Start laughing now!
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. — H.G. Wells3. Humor Gives Us Control Over Our Emotions
When stressed, we are faced with two options—option one: we can lose our cool, blow our tops and set our briefcase on fire; option two: we can find a sane, constructive way of reacting to the stress at hand. Enlisting humor in the fight against stress helps us deal with our reactions to stress, since there’s often little we can do to completely eliminate the stressors in our work lives. Humor reminds us that although we can’t control many of the events that happen to us, we can always control our emotions and how we react to those events.
Incidentally, most psychologists now denounce the notion that venting our anger is a healthy response, pointing out that it is more likely to lead to heart problems and other stressrelated ailments. Venting in a work environment can also be a career-limiting move, especially if the target of your venting is another person (as opposed to the office plant).
In those situations where you feel like exploding, your sense of humor becomes an emergency safety valve, allowing you to release pent-up emotions in a harmless manner. Think of it as an emergency ripcord on a parachute.
When you feel your emotions free falling madly out of control, your humor resource will give you a softer landing as you fall gently back to earth. Like shock absorbers on a car, humor won’t make the bumps in the road of life go away, but it will make the ride a lot smoother.
Humor also helps combat another major cause of stress—feeling a lack of control over a situation. This lack of control is why workers in lower-ranking jobs with high demands, but little real control or power over their work environment (administrative assistants, clerks and waiters, for example) often feel more stressed than people in higher positions of responsibility. Using humor to control our emotions is a way of exerting power over a situation, and at least regaining control over our own emotions.
I refuse to be intimidated by reality anymore. Reality is just a collective hunch. — Lily Tomlin 4. Humor Restores the Oxygen in a Tense Situation
We’ve all been in a tense workplace situation, perhaps a boardroom meeting, where someone said something so utterly unbelievable that the entire room stopped talking and the tension became so thick you could pick it up with chopsticks. And then someone said something funny. Or someone’s stomach unexpectedly rumbled like an ancient volcano coming out of a deep slumber. And the entire room erupted in laughter and people began breathing again. Suddenly there was oxygen back in the room. This reaction makes sense of our sense of humor from an evolutionary perspective, since laughter may have evolved as a vocal signal for groups to relax once a potentially dangerous situation was determined to be safe. Simply put:
“Ha + Ha + Ha + Ha = Aaaaaaaaaaah.”
Humor is a potent combination of icebreaker, conversation starter (or re-starter), rapport builder, unifier, emotional release and perspective changer all rolled into one convenient package.
It explains why some mediators use clown noses during conflict resolution sessions. When tensions rise, the mediators have opposing parties don red clown noses and take time out to laugh until riled emotions have settled down. The Troy, New York, police department has even shown up at some domestic conflicts with an officer dressed up as Bugs Bunny to break the tension. And when emotions rose at a meeting attended by Soviet and American officials during the Cuban Missile Crisis, a Soviet delegate suggested that everyone around the table tell a joke or a funny story to clear the impasse. He started with the joke: “What is the difference between capitalism and communism? In capitalism, man exploits man, but in communism, it is the other way around.” This humor strategy worked. The talks resumed and the issue was resolved. (So if humor can maintain world peace, just think what it can do for you next Monday morning!)
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain 6. Humor Elevates Us Above a Crisis
As Viktor Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, said, “Humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, has an ability to rise above any situation.”
Humor is an emotional booster and an attitude adjuster that helps us gather our resources to carry on in times when we can’t imagine taking one more step. Humor is, quite simply, the fuel that can ignite the inner spirit (am I getting poetic or what?).
Victims of natural disasters will sometimes use humor in this fashion, like the person who, after the 1989 San Francisco earthquake, hammered a sign into the front lawn of his totally demolished home, which read “House For Sale. Some Assembly Required.” This is a classic way of rising above a catastrophe. This person, whether he knew it or not, was thumbing his nose at Mother Nature and telling the quake, “You got my house, but you can’t get me!” And that, ultimately, is what humor has the power to do for us all.
Laughter sets the spirit free to move through even the most tragic circumstances. It helps us shake our heads clear, get our feet back under us, and restore a sense of balance and perspective. — Captain Gerald Coffee, POW (Prisoner of War) survivor
Ch 3: Putting Humor to Work Against Stress
A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable. — Moshe Waldoks, co-editor of The Big Book of Jewish Humor The Three Humor R’s of Stress Management – Reframe, Reward and RelaxR1: REFRAME
1. Wildly Exaggerate.
Exaggeration is usually the source of anxiety in a crisis (“I’m going to lose my job!”) and why people lose their perspective. Fortunately, as any comedian knows, exaggeration is also a source of much humor. By exaggerating some characteristic about a problem or imagining a worst-case scenario, you can find some humor and regain your perspective by realizing it’s probably not as bad as you think.
2. Step Into Someone Else’s Shoes.
Reframe the situation by imagining how your favorite comedian, sitcom star or some outlandish fictional character would view the problem. How would Jim Carrey, an alien,
Daffy Duck, Xena Warrior Princess, Charlie Chaplin, James Bond, a five-year-old or Dilbert handle this problem? How would a sitcom writer describe the scene unfolding before you? According to one study, we can reduce our negative responses to things by actually writing out our own sitcom of the events. (I tried this reframing technique once when pulled over for speeding. I put myself in the perspective of Bill Murray, borrowing a line from his movie Groundhog Day. When the officer approached my car, I rolled down the window and said, “I’ll have a cheeseburger, fries and a banana milkshake.” I still got the ticket but I think we both felt better about a stressful situation.)
3. It Can Always Be Worse.
Try reframing by imagining, in a humorous way, how things could be worse. Ask yourself, would I be worried about this if a comet was headed for earth? Sometimes you can find the humor simply by completing the following sentence. “It could always be worse, I could be...” Or, “Well, the bad news is... but the good news is...”
This is another standard formula used by comedians to help find something amusing in the worst possible situations. You could also amass a list of wacky-but-true newspaper headlines, strange jobs that make yours seem like a walk in the park or historical blunders as reminders of how things can always be worse.
Psychology Today reported on a study that found people who always focused on “how it could have been worse” managed their stress better and remained more positive than those who focused on “how things could have been better.” Other studies suggest that people who use a “things could be worse...” coping strategy tend to be healthier than those who chronically blame themselves when a stressful event happens.
4. Re-label stressors.
Invent fun nicknames or code phrases to describe some of the annoying stressors that frequently pop up in your workplace. The employees of a company I worked with devised a reframing technique for dealing with annoying customers. In order to keep their attitudes upbeat, they developed a code for different types of problem clients. For example, “16” might refer to an overly obnoxious individual, while “11” was someone with severe garlic breath. As the employees would pass each other, they would quietly say, “I’m helping a ‘16’ right now, can I talk to you later about this?” This was their simple way of reframing a stressor in a more humorous light.
These are just a few ideas. When we mentally reframe something, we are tapping into the power of our imagination, so the possibilities are truly limitless.
A sense of humor is a sense of proportion. — Kahil Gibran The Humor Flip-Flop
Humor can help us execute a quick “flip-flop” reframe during a stressful situation. Winston Churchill was a master of this. Lady Astor, when she became frustrated with Churchill during a heated conversation, told him, “Sir Winston, if I was your wife I would put arsenic in your coffee.” Churchill used a humor flip-flop by responding, “Madam, if I was your husband, I’d drink it.”
Likewise, a speaker who, after tripping over an extension cord, immediately pops back onto her feet and says, “Wow, I got a perfect 10 from the Romanian judge!” is using a humor flip-flop to turn
around a potentially embarrassing situation.
It’s even possible to create a list of generic humor flip-flop phrases to cover a whole range of potentially stressful situations.
Here’s a sample of some all purpose lines. For the best effect, though, create your own flip-flop recovery line and only use it in the most positive, warmest tone (non-sarcastic) possible!
“I’d rather be... ”
“Did I fill out the wrong form today?”
“Beam me up – NOW, Scotty.”
“Wasn’t this a Twilight Zone episode?”
“It takes a special human being to do what I just did.”
“This is great, I was feeling a little understressed today.”
“Can I have a standing ovation please?”
“Where’s my stunt double?”
“Can we re-shoot this whole scene from the start?”
“This just isn’t my millennium.”
“Are we on Candid Camera?”
“Is it tomorrow yet?”
“I knew I should have turned left at that last corner.”
“I’m quite certain the weatherman said nothing about this.”
“I really didn’t order this.”
“If you’re going to mess up, I always said, go big or go home!”
"Hey Regis, can I use a lifeline?"
“Was today really necessary?”
“Can I go for what’s behind door number 1 instead?”
There cannot be a crisis next week, my schedule is full. — Henry Kissinger
Words to Laugh By: As seen on many a helpful sign: “Life is a test. Life is only a test. If this had been your actual life, you would have been given better instructions.”
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. — James ThurberReframing the Big “C”
The late comedy-writer Marjorie Gross wrote about her experience fighting cancer. To help her humorously reframe her battle, she compiled a list of the advantages of having cancer, which included:
You automatically get called courageous.
People immediately return your calls.
You never get called rude again.
No one ever asks you to help them move.
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most and rewards you for your courage. — Erma BombeckR2: REWARD
One believer of this is the store manager, who, unhappy with the poor service given to some difficult customers, offers a free dinner once a week to whoever best serves the “customer from Hell.”
Always remember what those ever-so-happy motivational speakers are always preaching: “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts,” and the next time your computer crashes or a bird pays your head an unexpected visit, grab yourself an extra serving of double chocolate cheesecake – you deserve it. (Just don’t turn it into a habit – otherwise you’ll have a whole host of other stressors to worry about!)
Sometimes All You Can Do is LaughLaughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer laughter since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. — Kurt Vonnegut
Here are a few deep, and not-so-deep, thoughts about the art of messing up, reminding us that sometimes, when things run amuck, all we can do is laugh.
1. The average millionaire has been bankrupt three times.
2. “No one is ever listening... until you make a mistake.” --Anon
3. “It takes a wise man to learn from his own mistakes, but an absolute idiot not to learn from the mistakes of others.” --TV’s Dr. Frasier Crane
4. Reggie Jackson, one of the greatest home run hitters in baseball, also struck out more than anyone in history – a total of 2,597 times.
5. “If you want to succeed, double your failure rate.” --Tom Watson, IBM chairman
6. “Failure is not a crime. Failure to learn from failure is.” --Walter Wriston, Citicorp chairman
7. “Success occurs in private, failure in full view.” --Anon
8. “All of my discoveries were made by mistake. You discover what is by getting rid of what isn’t.” --Buckminster Fuller
9. “You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” --Beverly Sills
10. “Experience is something you don’t get until after you need it.” --Anon
11. “If at first you do succeed, you’ll get a false sense of security.” --Thoreau
12. “I failed my way to success.” --Thomas Edison
13. “If you learn to laugh at yourself, you’ll never run out of things to laugh at.” --Leo Buscaglia
14. A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures. — Irish proverb
R3: RELAX
A clown is like aspirin only he works twice as fast. — Groucho Marx
If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane. — Jimmy Buffet
Here are some more suggestions for ways to access your sense of humor and relax.
1. Make a silly face. Better yet, pull out a mirror so you can see yourself making a silly face. No, you’re right, it’s not very professional, but it is a quick and painless way to tap into the five-year-old inside you and remind yourself not to take life too seriously.
2. Start smiling. Researchers believe that even fake smiling (although not the teeth-gritted “I’m going to kill you” kind of smiling) can bring about the same beneficial physical changes that occur when we really smile.
3. Start laughing. Literally, just start to laugh. Sure, this sounds like you’re putting the humor cart before the horse. (You probably thought that first you needed something to laugh at, then the laughter would follow.
How silly of you). But guess what? If you just start laughing (not in the middle of a business presentation, mind you) soon you will be laughing at something—yourself! You can do it alone, or better yet with some of your colleagues. Laughter is, after all, thought to be one of the most highly contagious phenomena known to humankind (which is why most TV sitcoms come with fake laugh tracks).
4. Take regularly scheduled humor breaks. The Caribbean slang term “liming” means to just “hang out, chill, or do nothing in a guilt-free way.”
Liming once a day, with a twist of humor, sounds like the perfect recipe for coping with a stressful day. So find someone to share a joke with, read a funny magazine or listen to a tape of a comedian. People who take short breaks usually end up accomplishing more by the end of a workday because they’re less fatigued and less stressed and they make fewer mistakes. Even short breaks give our brains time to digest information and to play catch up. Think of these breaks not as time off, but as time out from your hectic schedule.
Even taking a short “mental vacation” helps. Visualizing a humorous moment or mentally reliving a hilarious incident can lower your heart rate and reduce your blood pressure.
5. Stockpile your favorite comedian’s jokes or cartoon books. Pick your favorite three books and keep them on your office bookshelf or in your desk for easy reference.
6. Make me laugh! Don’t feel you have to manage your stress alone.
Talking, and better yet, laughing with someone else is an extremely effective de-stressor. It often helps to talk to people totally unrelated to your immediate work environment, so find the nearest five-yearold, grab someone from accounting or phone a buddy and say,
“Make me laugh!” You’ll be amazed at how imaginative people are and how quickly you will start laughing over the simplest things.
(When I give people this exercise in workshops, it rarely takes more than five seconds to get uproarious laughter from the partner who has been instructed to not laugh at all costs!)
7. Humorize your office environment.
It’s difficult to access your sense of humor in a somber physical work environment. Studies of prisoners, submarine crews, hospital patients, office workers and even rodents have all led to the same basic conclusion: our physical surroundings have a tremendous impact on our creativity, mood, attitude and productivity. The rodent study is my favorite. One set of rodents was placed in a dull, stark environment, while another group lived in a lively, colorful environment full of toys, mazes, ladders and mental stimuli. The results? The rodents in the stark environs lost brain cells, while the other rodents actually grew brain cells. The stimulated rodents had an average of 40,000 more neurons and 20% more dendritic branching in their brains. (I’m pretty certain one of them ended up on the game show Jeopardy!) So liven up the office. Put up humorous posters, pictures or signs.
Keep a wacky company mascot on display. Create a humor bulletin board where employees can post funny photos, wacky stories or top-10 lists. Display a funny quote or humorous question of the day in a highly traveled corridor. Program your computers to play fun music when they are turned on. Create fun walls of employee photos with changeable thought balloons coming out of their heads that folks can switch throughout the week.
8. Switch brains (and no, not with someone else).
You can reduce stress by switching to an activity that uses the part of your brain not causing you stress. For example, if the source of your stress is centered in the creative and emotional right hemisphere (you are depressed, anxious, worried or otherwise emotionally distraught), then change to a task that requires more of your left hemisphere to kick in, such as doing some accounting (yippee!), organizing or writing in a journal.
Conversely, if the stress is a result of being time pressured or overworked, chances are your left hemisphere is stressed. In this case, do a right-brain activity, like engaging in play or a creative pursuit.
9. Create a humor room.
Kodak-Eastman, Hewlett-Packard and many other companies have humor or “lighten up” rooms, which are essentially playrooms for stressed-out executives, as a way to help employees unwind and access their humor. The rooms are stocked with comedy videos, humorous books, toys—anything that helps employees tap into their humor resources.
10. Collect funny props.
A visit to a toy store, magic shop or joke store will provide some inspiration for things to keep on hand in your office or boardroom to use for “serious” emergencies. Or scour your home. A photograph of your dog dressed in a tuxedo, a picture of you when you were three or that strange gizmo your brother-in-law found in Bora Bora might be just the ticket for tickling your funny bone.
11. Stockpile funny costume items.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s a clown nose, elf ears, sombrero, shower cap, bonehead headband, beanie cap, fake rotting teeth or a Hawaiian lei—if it makes you laugh, then keep it close at hand. Items like these have inspired many people to access their sense of humor. An office in Los Angeles for example, has a de-stressing ritual at the end of each workday. At quitting time, employees gather in the open office, don cherry-red clown noses and say good night to each other. They continue wearing their noses as they leave the building and drive home, only removing them once safely home. It’s their silly way of saying: “We’re not taking ourselves too seriously and we sure as heck aren’t going to carry any of today’s stress home with us.” There is also a group of New York stockbrokers that belongs to the Secret Order of the Mickey Mouse Club, complete with Mickey Mouse boxer shorts underneath their suits. And Canadian astronaut Julie Payette even managed to sneak a clown nose into space during her 1999 space shuttle mission.
12. Get moving!
It’s been determined that the simple act of thrusting our arms above our heads raises our spirits. Children are naturals at this. I work next door to a preschool (which explains a lot, I’m sure).
One day while walking through the preschool, I noticed a child spinning madly in one direction, giggling his little heart out. “What the heck are you doing?” I asked. “Spinning,” he replied. (I often overlook the obvious.) “Why?” I asked. “Why not?” he responded.
The point is, sitting behind a desk all day we forget to engage our bodies in the fight against stress, yet using our bodies is an obvious way to access our sense of humor and dampen our stress levels.
The real trick to all this is painfully simple: give yourself permission to play, have fun, be a little silly and laugh.You Deserve a Humor BreakPlay is essential for life... it is not selective, it is mandatory. — Dr. O. Carl Simonton
% To be efficient, healthy and truly productive, people need regular breaks.
Every now and then go away, even briefly, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to work, your judgment will be surer, to remain constantly at work will cause you to lose your power. — Leonardo da Vinci
Ch 4: The Office Commute – May the Farce Be With You
WHY IS ROAD RAGE ALL THE RAGE?
Road rage has become a household term for the simple reason that it’s happening more and more frequently. Drivers find it easy to vent frustrations because of the anonymity afforded by being isolated in a huge tin box. And it’s not just men who are losing their cool, either. As women face more stressful work lives, their participation in the road rage craze is approaching the level of men’s.
In her research into road rage, as reported in Psychology Today,
Dr. Nancy Herman found women were getting more aggressive behind the wheel as a result of moving up the corporate ladder. She concluded that, regardless of gender, “oppressive conditions and alienation in the workplace lead people to misdirect their anger when they drive.” This is another sober reminder of how workplace stresses carry over into other parts of our lives.
Herman also discovered that 63% of road rage offenders feel it’s not their fault, that road rage is an inborn trait and therefore beyond their control. Most psychologists don’t buy this argument.
We are always in control of how we interpret the stressors we face.
So if you are a road warrior, consider some of the following emergency roadside humor fixes to remind yourself that when it comes to your own emotions, you truly are in the driver’s seat.
ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE WITH A SMILE
Without humor, more people will be shooting each other on the expressway. — Dan Piraro, Bizarro cartoonist
1. Look for creative ways to lighten up your car’s physical environment.
2. Create a technology-free zone.
Let’s face it, driving is challenging enough, so creating a technology-free zone and focusing on the road is an obvious way to lighten your stress load and keep you in a more positive mind-set for the office. If you feel the need to maintain your image, most toy stores carry plastic cell phones for under $10. Or better yet, invest in a toy walkietalkie, then people will think you are really, really important.
3. Listen to comedy tapes or humorous novels on cassettes.
4. Find silly ways to relax when the going doesn’t get going. Sing your favorite songs or make up your own songs, don a clown nose if the traffic backs up, make goofy faces, or sing along to the news or traffic reports.
5. Watch for humorous bumper stickers, highway signs or billboards and start your own file to share with your co-workers.
Some of my favorite bumper stickers include:
1. I’d Give My Right Arm To Be Ambidextrous
2. Only One Shopping Day Left Until Tomorrow
3. I Don’t Suffer From Insanity—I Enjoy Every Minute of It!
4. The Problem With Sex In The Movies Is Usually The Popcorn Spills
5. He Who Laughs Last—Thinks Slowest
6. NEVER Believe Generalizations
7. It’s Lonely at the Top. What, Like It’s a Big Party at the Bottom?
8. Give Me Ambiguity or Give Me Something Else
9. In Only Two Days It Will Be the Day After Tomorrow
10. Ever Stop to Think and Forget to Start Again?
11. If At First You Don’t Succeed... Skydiving Is NOT For You
12. It’s 98% of the Politicians That Give the Rest a Bad Name
13. Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal.
14. Hang Up and Drive!
15. Smiling is the Second Best Thing You Can Do With Your Lips
HUMOROUS HELP ON THE WEB
Rather than raging on the paved highway, vent on the information highway in the safety of your own home. Several web sites dedicated to stopping road rage can be found.
Some of the sites allow you to submit observations of deranged drivers:
At http://www.members.aol.com/doggiesnot/ find “How to Drive Like a Moron” where you can report highway morons.
You can also print out a package of “Moron Summons,” which allows you to ticket people with a “Driving or Parking Like a Moron” certificate outlining your complaint. Other sites to check out include:
Bloody Idiots http://www.geocities.com/Baja/9799/
License to Laugh Traffic School http://www.members.aol.com/licens2laf/lic2laf.html (includes humorous insurance report excuses)
If you submit a bad road experience to a web site, be sure to add a humorous twist to your tale. It will help you distance yourself even further from your anger and give other road ranters a chuckle as well.
A SALUTE TO ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS
The official gesture of the road rage age is of course the old “waving-without-using-all-of-our-fingers” signal. In an effort to promote friendlier behavior on the highways, Governor Roy Romer of Colorado suggested a two-finger salute to replace the more traditional one. He hopes that the two-finger “hello/thanks/no-problem/I-noticed-you-were-about-to-smash-into-me” salute will encourage people to open their hearts and be a little more gracious and generous while driving.
A CLOSING THOUGHT
Comedian George Carlin puts the topic of commuter stress in a fresh and oh-so-true perspective by offering these sage words of wisdom: “Have you noticed that when you are driving, everyone driving faster than you is a maniac, while everyone driving slower than you is a moron?”
Happy trails folks. And may the farce be with you.
Ch 5: Laughing in the Face of Change
% I could not tread these perilous paths in safety if I did not keep a sense of humor. — Lord Neilson
% If you want to thrive and remain competitive in a world that is changing radically and relentlessly, you need the fluidity and flexibility of humor. — C.W. Metcalf, humor author SLAYING THE DRAGONS
People resist change for a whole host of reasons, ranging from not understanding what exactly is changing to failing to see any reason to do things differently. The overriding reason most people resist change, however, is fear—fear of failure, fear of success, fear of risk, and, especially, fear of the unknown. Doing what we’ve always done is like wearing an old sweater. It’s comfortable. It’s cozy. It’s familiar. It’s safe. Throwing out that old sweater for something we’ve never tried on before can seem downright frightening.
Humor has always been a powerful weapon in the face of change and unknown boogey men. Woody Allen’s favorite comedic subject matter is the greatest unknown of all—death. As Allen quips, “I’m not sure if there is an afterlife, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m bringing an extra pair of underwear along just in case.” By joking about death, Allen cuts through our fear of the unknown and makes us see death in a less-frightening light. Another Woody Allen quote reminds us it’s possible to find humor in hopeless situations: “More than any time in history, mankind faces a crossroad. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. I just pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
Applying heavy doses of humor can make major change seem less daunting. Like the old sugar with the cough syrup trick, humor can help employees swallow the distasteful parts of change a whole lot easier. At its best, heaps of humor and fun can make a massive change in the workplace seem like a great adventure that the entire organization is taking together. Here are four guiding lights for effectively managing change à la humor in the workplace.
1. Communication is Everything The more you communicate the fewer unknowns there are.
Some managers spend 70 to 90% of their time during massive periods of change doing nothing but explaining and selling the change to employees. The key messages to communicate are why the change is happening, the benefits of the change and the risks associated with not changing. Good managers also take the time to communicate the things that aren’t going to change.
Communicating all this information is the perfect opportunity to add heavy doses of humor so staff are motivated to get involved in the change and the change is less stressful.
2. Create a Burning Bridge Give people a compelling reason to change by creating a sense of urgency. Explain the benefits of changing and the consequences of not changing. Encourage staff to embrace the changes by developing some fun rewards for actively participating in the change and fun penalties for not. You could, for example, offer wacky rewards for the first employee or entire department to adopt a new practice or new technology. As a leader, don’t forget to be open about any setbacks, failures or bumps along the journey and don’t be afraid to poke fun at the top brass. People need to know it’s okay to laugh at honest mistakes when doing something new.
3. Involve Staff The more involved people feel, the less resistant to change they are. Include employees as early as possible in the process so they are making the change happen, not “being changed.”
Include everyone in the change process by making it easy and fun to participate. Create wacky contests for employees, and better yet, families of employees, to come up with creative ideas for the changes required. Hold a contest for the best change slogan. Set up special suggestion boxes and hold random draws from employees’ valid suggestions to encourage people to contribute ideas on a regular basis. Create a fun voice-mail system to collect people’s ideas about the change. For example, “If you feel the change the company is undertaking is, as Martha Stewart would say, a ‘good thing,’ please press #1 and tell us why. If you feel it’s the stupidest idea since the pet rock, please press #2 and tell us why. Please be sure to yell clearly so we can capture all your brilliant ideas and suggestions.”
4. Keep People Motivated Change is stressful for people, so be patient and make an extra effort to keep morale high. Set up a special short-term morale booster squad. Hold a fun party or celebration ceremony partway through the change when folks really need a boost. Reward everyone with a SWAT team of masseuses, serve chocolate sundaes, order free pizzas or hire a stand up comedian to give everyone a good laugh when they most need it.
The fibers of resiliency are humor, creativity, persistence and optimism, and their roots reach well below the surface, ready to rise again and again when needed. — Brian Luke Seaward, stress management authorREACTING TO CHANGE
If you are on the receiving end of change and feeling overwhelmed and under siege, practice accessing your humor resource. Take responsibility for how you react to the change going on around you. Remind yourself that regardless of the unknowns and the lack of control you feel, you are still in charge of your own emotions. Force yourself to look for what’s good, and better yet, what strikes you funny about the change. Find a way to focus on the bright side by mentally reframing the situation.
Try the old “The bad news is... but the good news is... ” trick.
Keep a humor first aid kit handy and access your humor as often as you need to. Double your portion of laugh breaks. And reward yourself with fun treats when things get extra stressful.
Finally, no matter how difficult things get during any massive change on the job, remember the words of M. Dale Baughman: “Humor is like a diaper change – it makes you feel comfortable for a while.”
Ch 6: Humor as a Catalyst for Creativity
When in doubt, make a fool out of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. — Cynthia Heimel
There is an exceptionally strong link between creativity and humor. Mathematically, the humor as a creativity catalyst looks a little something like this:
Ha + Ha + Ha + Ha = AHA!
Although not as profound as E=mc 2 , it’s a lot easier to understand and a heck of a lot more fun. This link is obvious to anyone who has ever worked around a high-energy group of creative people or seen an innovative workplace in action. Humor and creativity are powerful forms of energy that feed off each other. So if you want to foster a more creative workplace culture, create an environment where play and humor are allowed to thrive. Let’s look first at why this relationship is the perfect marriage.
Why Humor Leads to Brilliant New IdeasHumor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. — Edward de Bono, creativity author
Just in case you need further justification for having more fun at the office, here are nine good reasons why fun, play and humor are such powerful catalysts for creativity.
1: Creativity and Humor Involve Playing with Ideas and Changing Perspectives
“Play helps us avoid looking at problems head on, instead it forces us to come at them from somewhere off to the side.”
It makes sense, then, that the more you play and flex your funny bone, the easier it becomes to make new connections and look at things from a fresh perspective. The creative brain, like anything else, requires exercise, and sharpening our sense of humor is one way to make sure the mass of neurons we lug around gets a regular workout.
Children seem to know this without being told, especially five-year-olds. One study suggests we peak creatively at around five. (Given this, I have a theory that five-year-olds could probably take over the world, except they can’t because they don’t know how to drive and aren’t allowed out after dark.) That annoying phenomenon known as logic hasn’t made itself completely at home in the five-year-old mind. Without hard and fast rules to channel them, children are masters at playing with their universe. To a child, a tree becomes a castle, the pet beagle is a fire breathing dragon and, yes, the sky really is green sometimes.
The bottom crayon line creatively is this—if you want to be more creative, humor can help you tap into that five-year-old trapped inside and let him or her out to play for a while.
It is the child in the man that is the source of his uniqueness and creativeness, and the playground is the optimal milieu for the unfolding of his capacities and talents. — Eric Hoffer
2. Play Jump Starts the Brain
Have you ever suffered from mental constipation? I know I have. Here’s how it works: you’re in desperate need of a new idea so you sit down at a desk, place a blank sheet of paper in front of you, squint real hard and furrow your brow. You are certain the intense pain inside your skull will eventually lead to brilliant new ideas. Smoke pours out of your ears. Your body tenses up. You stare at the page. Half an hour later, you’re sound asleep, curled up quietly across the top of your droolcovered notepad or keyboard. (By the way, you don’t need to be alone to achieve this effect. Try gathering a bunch of likeminded individuals and stuffing them around a boardroom table on a hot afternoon, preferably after a big lunch. Dim the lights and turn on an overhead projector to achieve best results.) In our awe of modern technology, we sometimes forget that we come preinstalled with the most amazing software you’ll find anywhere—the human brain. According to one estimate, the human brain is capable of storing 20 million computer CDs worth of information. The problem is none of us arrived on the planet with a user manual. We walk around taking our own software for granted, yet we all recognize the need to boot up our computers, recharge our laptops, clean out our computer files and upgrade our computer systems every few years (or is it weeks now?).
To get the best performance out of your brain’s computing power, you need to recharge it, feed it, nourish it, stretch it, flex it and, every now and then, delete all those junk files floating around.
Play and humor will help you do just that. When you play, you develop new neural cells in areas devoted to memory and learning. Getting up out of your chair and engaging both your mind and body fires up those neurons. The simple act of standing up improves the flow of oxygen to the brain, as does laughter. Combine the two (movement and laughter) and your brain becomes more alert, fully charged and ready to go. In fact, as revealed in EEG data, laughter stimulates both hemispheres of the brain at the same time and may result in our brains operating at their highest capacity.
Film director Alfred Hitchcock recognized the need for a playful distraction during creative roadblocks. When screenwriters working with the legendary director became blocked, Hitchcock was known to interrupt them and regale them with long stories that had nothing to do with the script problem at hand. His strategy was bang on. After the mental change of focus, the writers would invariably get past the idea jam.
Play appears to allow our brains to exercise their very flexibility, to maintain and even perhaps renew the neural connections that embody our human potential to adapt, to meet any possible set of environmental conditions. — Hara Estroff Marano
3. Play Reduces Inhibitions
Play and humor help reduce our inhibitions, which encourages us to share truly wild ideas in our workplace. If you’ve walked around flapping your arms like a chicken during a game of charades or pretended to be the first platypus on the moon during a theater improvisation exercise, you’ll probably be a lot more at ease suggesting something totally novel. When we play, we feel no limitations. We become unaware of rules and ourselves. Play is a liberating experience that helps us tap into our creative energies.
Without playing with fantasy, no creative work has ever come to birth. — C.G. Jung, Swiss psychologist
4. Play Helps Foster a Culture of Risk Taking
To foster a truly creative organization, you need to rock the boat, take risks and make mistakes. If you’re not making mistakes, as the old saying goes, then chances are you’re not doing anything new. Smart mistakes, after all, aren’t mindless blunders, they’re merely research and education.
Thomas Edison offered the perfect perspective on failure when he replied to a reporter’s question about having failed to find a successful filament for the light bulb halfway through his experiments with: “I have not failed once. I have succeeded in finding 1500 ways not to make a light bulb.”
Companies with a high fun quotient foster a culture that is supportive of risk takers. Perhaps it’s the sense of adventure that accompanies play or the simple fact that to play and express our sense of humor involves taking a bit of risk and, sometimes, failing spectacularly. When we laugh, especially at our own pratfalls, we set a tone that says, “It’s okay to screw up now and then. We aren’t always perfect.”
Humor not only helps people to take risks, it also encourages them to offer more creative ideas and to be accepting of creative ideas. Why? Because humor lets us play with a representation of reality, and experiment without any risk or fear of the consequences.
In a world continuously presenting unique challenges and ambiguity, play prepares us for an evolving planet. — Robert Fagen
5. Humor and Creativity Challenge our Basic Assumptions
Humor’s ability to derail routine tracks of thought and turn concepts on their head allows us to stand back from selfimposed rules and assumptions and examine our problems from a new perspective. Play and humor let us practice new ways of thinking and allow us to shuffle ideas and reorganize our thoughts. Humor jolts us into seeing things in a new way and prevents us from walking around on autopilot. And let’s face it, there’s no way we’re going to come in for a creative landing when we’re on autopilot.
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. — Katharine Hepburn
6. Humor Encourages Spontaneity
As most comedians will tell you, often the most effective humor is spontaneous. Spontaneity is also a key to brilliantly creative ideas, because it encourages you to express your ideas before your inner voice (“don’t say that out loud, you’ll sound foolish”) censors them.
Play is a lost key. It unlocks the door to ourselves. — Lenore Terre
7. Humor Helps Us Focus on Solutions Instead of Problems
Humor nudges us away from “blame-storming” (focusing on the problem and who’s to blame) and into the world of brainstorming (focusing on solutions). Humor and play, by keeping us in a positive mood and an optimistic frame of mind, focus us on possibilities and block negative emotions that result in rigid thinking. And because humor and play are about changing perspectives and unleashing the mind, people can view workplace problems in a broader context and be reminded that, just maybe, a solution is possible for even the most overwhelming problems. Properly harnessed, humor shifts us away from convergent thinking, pushing aside the notion that there’s only one answer or viewpoint and moving our minds into a “what if” frame of thinking, where the possibilities are limitless.
To be serious is to press for a specified conclusion. To be playful is to allow for unlimited possibility. — James Carse
8. Humor Sends the Message: Creativity Wanted Here
If you want your customers to know that your organization truly values creativity and innovation, then taking a humorous approach to business can help reinforce that message. A company that does this is clearly saying to its customers: “We value ideas and creativity.” It also sends the message to its employees that they work in a place where creative ideas are not only encouraged, but expected.
At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. — Jean Houston
9. Humor Can Help Sell Ideas
One of the most difficult parts of the creative process is selling and moving ideas through the labyrinth of a large bureaucracy. Humor, by fostering a more open, flexible and accepting environment, can ease the passage of any new ideas. Humor is also a powerful tool for selling new ideas and alleviating some of the apprehension staff or managers may have about accepting a new idea.
Humor is the only thing that keeps the human brain from turning into a raisin. — Dan Piraro, Bizarro cartoonistTHE EXPERTS AGREE – HUMOR FUELS CREATIVITY
The University of Tel Aviv exposed high school students to a semester of humor studies (why didn’t I have a high school like this?) and discovered the creativity of the students in the humor program soared substantially compared to other students. In another study, volunteers who watched humorous videos of comedians like Lily Tomlin were able to generate more creative ideas than people who didn’t screen funny videos.
According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, research shows that people put into good moods via humor are able to think through problems with more ingenuity. And a survey by 3M, reported in Training Magazine, found that two-thirds of all respondents listed play or humor as their favorite way of stimulating creativity in the workplace.
Yet another insightful study was reported in What’s So Funny? The Comic Conception of Culture and Society, by Murray S. Davis. Davis gave subjects the task of solving a word anagram problem in small groups.
Each group was to create as many different 4-letter words out of 10 scrambled letters as it could in a 10-minute period. The groups were analyzed based on the amount of joking and laughing in each group. The final score was as follows:
Level of Humor - Average Number of Words Generated
High-joking groups - 75 words
Medium-joking groups - 56 words
Low-joking groups - 45 words
Psychologist Alice M. Isen from the University of Maryland offers the final thought on this matter: “Any joke that makes you feel good is likely to help you think more broadly and more creatively.”
STORMING THE BRAINS FOR IDEAS
The advertising world, and specifically ad man Alex Osborne, brought us the concept of brainstorming. The rules of brainstorming are simple: gather some folks (from 4 to 10 seems to be an ideal number) around a notepad, white board or flip chart, and fly at `er, shouting out as many ideas pertaining to a goal or problem as you can. It is crucial that there be no judging or blocking of anyone’s ideas, everything is accepted. Brainstorming is about quantity over quality and leapfrogging off each other’s suggestions to come up with new ideas. Naturally, this process leads to lots of ridiculous suggestions, but the point of the exercise is that you need to go through a process like this to get to idea #87, which just happens to contain the seed of something astoundingly brilliant. If you don’t brainstorm, you might never get to idea #87 (by the way, I’ve patented idea #87, so don’t even think about it). The effectiveness of brainstorming rests largely on one factor—the willingness of participants to throw out truly wild ideas without fear of recrimination or embarrassment.
For workplaces that don’t use an approach like this, brainstorming can seem rather unorthodox. Like anything else, however, brainstorming is a skill you need to practice and train for. Once people get comfortable working with the process, brainstorming will quickly become second nature. To be truly effective, encourage potential brainstormers to keep the following guidelines in mind.
The 10 Creativity Commandments for an Effective Brainstorm 1. Gather 4 to 10 people (split larger groups into several smaller groups; if a group is too large, people may be less willing to contribute). And don’t just gather like-minded people together, include people that don’t know anything about the topic or even bring in clients who can offer a totally different perspective.
2. Meet in a relaxed, preferably fun location. In a Training Magazine survey, 90% of respondents reported that location had a significant impact on their creativity and 40% said their own workspace was the least conducive location for creativity. So remove any unwanted distractions, such as cell phones or computers, and replace them with fun distractions that might spark the group’s creative energy, like props, toys or music. The best choice for music, according to creativity experts, has no lyrics and limited mental demands on the listeners, such as classical, light jazz, or new age music.
3. Start with a fun icebreaker to loosen folks up. Brainstorming a few silly topics (uses for a paper clip or alternative titles to Gilligan’s Island) or playing a theater improvisational game can help people get into the groove of the session and reduce inhibitions.
4. Assign a recorder or use a tape recorder to capture everyone’s ideas.
It’s sometimes advantageous if the recorder does not participate in the brainstorm, so that the way ideas are captured isn’t biased.
5. Write the issue or problem at the top of a flip chart or white board.
Your issue or problem statement should be worded in a way that is not going to limit ideas or solutions. Make sure you’re solving the right problem!
6. Set a time limit. Time pressure can force more spontaneity, a key ingredient in the formulation of truly innovative ideas.
Anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes may be appropriate, depending on the scope of the issue. Remember, great ideas often come towards the end of a session.
7. Remind participants that there is no blocking of ideas, no judgments, no criticisms, no “buts” and no “that’s the stupidest idea I ever heard.”
8. Quantity rules—try to get as many ideas as you can.
9. Encourage participants to listen to each other’s ideas, make new connections and leapfrog wildly off into uncharted waters.
10. Have fun! Use toys, noisemakers or goofy hats to instill a sense of play, enthusiasm and discovery in all of your brainstorming sessions. Get out of your seats and use your body to more fully engage your brain!
Your reasoning is silly, illogical and irrational... and it’s beginning to make sense. — Anon.IDEA BUSTERS
Verbal Idea Busters (a.k.a. “VIBs”)
We tried it before (in 1917)
It’ll never work
There’s no time!
Are you nuts?
No
If it ain’t broke...
Let’s keep to what works
Let’s form a committee!
Yeah, right!
Are you serious?
You’re kidding, right?
What have you been smoking?
Yes, but...*
There’s no money!
But, we’ve always done it this way!
Someone else tried it and it didn’t work
It’s not practical
We don’t pay you to think
Let’s wait until our competition starts doing it
We’ll never get approval
You can’t be serious!
If it’s such a great idea, why isn’t someone else doing it?
*”But” is simply a clever way of saying NO! Its overuse in the workplace leads to “but-headed thinking” and should be avoided at all costs.
Non-verbal Idea Squashers:
Silent But Deadly Silence
Smirking
Rolling eyes
Sighing
Furrowing of the brow
Head shaking
Looking at the floor
Leaving the room
Laughing
Folding arms across the chest
Dropping the head dramatically to the chest
Staring out the window looking for a sign from God
Burying face in hands
Looking at the ceiling
The man with an original idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. — Mark TwainFAMOUS IDEA SQUASHERS FROM HISTORYGreat spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein
There are two types of people, those who make things happen (often in the face of everyone telling them that their idea or plans will never work) and those who try to stop things from happening.
These latter folks are so busy pointing out why our dreams or ideas will never work that they don’t get around to creating their own.
The next time you feel compelled to shoot down someone’s idea or dream, keep in mind the following quotes, and ask yourself: Which side of the quote would I prefer to be on?
“You’ll never make it. Go back to Liverpool.”
As told to the Beatles by an American record executive in 1962“Heavier than air flying machines are impossible.”
Lord Kelvin, chemist, in 1885“What use would this company make of this electric toy.”
Carl Orton, president of Western Union, speaking to Alexander Graham Bell“Star Trek will never fly because it’s too expensive.”
Television executive rejecting the first Star Trek series“You will never make a career as an actor.”
As told to Harrison Ford by a movie director after his first bit part“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?”
Harry M. Warner, Warner Brothers Pictures, 1927“The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a passing fad.”
Bank president advising his nephew not to invest in the Ford Motor Company in 1893“Face it, Civil War pictures have never made a dime.”
MGM producer advising his boss against buying the rights to Gone With the Wind“People will get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.”
Movie mogul Daryl Zanuck, on the threat of television, in 1946“High speed rail travel is impossible because people will suffocate.”
Dr. Dionysius Lardner“Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner of the U.S. Patent Office, recommending the closure of the patent office in 1899IDEA SUPPORTERS
The flip side of banning idea-busting language is to foster a climate where people support each other’s ideas. We need to encourage Idea Supporting Phrases (“ISPs”) like the following (if you’ve never heard these expressions in your workplace, practice saying them in the mirror to get used to what they sound like):
Yes and...! What do we need to do to make this idea work? Let’s try it and see! How can I help? Great! And here’s how we can make it work even better! What obstacles are in the way, and how can we remove them? Does the Nobel Peace Prize committee know about you? Let’s give it a try for six months!
Wow! What a great idea! Why didn’t I think of that? You might be onto something! It just might be crazy enough to work! We’ll be the first to try this! We’ll be pioneers! How can we reduce the risk? How we can nourish this idea and help it grow into something truly beautiful and exciting?
Humor and creativity are kissing cousins. If you want to develop your creativity invite more humor into your life – and vice versa. — Dr. Joel Goodman, director of The Humor ProjectCHANGE YOUR VIEWPOINT!
Since both humor and creativity involve viewing situations or potential problems from a changed perspective, it should be no surprise that some of the techniques you can use to generate ideas are also great sources of humor.
1. Brainstorm the opposite of the problem.
Looking at a situation in reverse or backwards is a common source of humor. For example, Henny Youngman had a classic joke about how some beautiful showgirls had a dressing room next door to his. One day he discovered a hole in the wall between the two rooms. “It’s okay,” he quipped, “I let them look.” Humor like this, called “reverse logic” by comics, creates laughter by switching our perspective on a situation.
Brainstorming the opposite perspective is also a simple way to generate new ideas. If you’re trying to figure out ways to motivate employees, brainstorm how to de-motivate them. Brainstorm what would happen if you increased costs or what might happen if your customers sold to you? Or set out to write the worst possible set of instructions or press release you can. Not only will this generate some laughter, but the changed perspective can lead to new ideas you might have missed while looking at the problem head on.
2. Exaggerate a characteristic.
Exaggeration is a classic form of humor, and another technique that forces you to look at a situation in a new light. What ideas might you develop if you wildly exaggerated some characteristic associated with the problem or issue?
Left Brained or Right?
We tend to think of highly creative people as being “right brain” thinkers. The reality is that to be creative or to use humor effectively we use both sides of our brain.
Although the right side may help us with the occasional flash of brilliance, we need our logical left side to analyze, judge, critique and sell our ideas in the workplace. And to “get” a joke, we need both sides of our brain to understand the logic that is broken by the incongruity in the punchline.
The Laughing Defense
Brainwashing and brainstorming are polar opposites. Brainwashing involves mental manipulation that reduces a person’s mental flexibility and ability to think clearly. Research into brainwashing techniques has discovered that humor is one of the most powerful weapons to combat brainwashing. If a subject laughs while being brainwashed, the brainwashing process must start over from the very beginning. This sounds like further proof that a creative, flexible mind is highly dependent on a healthy sense of humor.
3. Look at the situation from the perspective of another profession or person.
We saw in chapter 3 how mentally reframing a stressful situation helps us find humor. Reframing by stepping into someone else’s shoes is also a way to find new ideas because it forces us to take on new perspectives. For example, how would Robin Williams, Miss Piggy or a basketball coach improve staff morale in your workplace? How would a plumber view your advertising dilemma? What would a chef see in your budget-cutting challenge?
4. Random association.
Humor and creativity are often born out of purely random, sometimes accidental, associations that ordinarily wouldn’t make any sense. Random associations during brainstorming is yet another way to force new connections. A simple way to do this is to draw a word from a dictionary or from a bag of magnetic poetry and then examine your problem using the word as a trigger. For example, what marketing ideas are you led to by thinking about an alligator? A horseshoe? The color purple? Imagination? Celery? Campbell’s Chunky Soup was born using this method. The random word “handle” led to “utensil,” which led to “fork,” which led to the famous ad tag line, “The soup so chunky you can eat it with a fork.”
At the creative agency Play, a chalkboard is used to capture random ideas. Employees write down a word related to a problem or goal they are working on, then staff add ideas to the chalkboard as they stroll by.
5. Ask questions.
Humorists and creative people share a common trait — curiosity. It may have killed the cat, but it’s a sure-fire way to magnify your humor lens and find new ideas. The key is simply forcing yourself to ask lots of questions and different questions relating to a problem. Playing detective or investigative journalist compels you to examine an issue from as many angles as possible.
What if we...? How come there isn’t...? Why can’t we just...? Why do people...? How can we...?
You can’t truly come up with a new idea unless you force yourself to look at the problem from a different viewpoint, and the easiest way to do this is to ask a different question.
When you ask a dumb question – you get a smart answer. — Aristotle
Top 10 Signs You Are Meeting Too Often
10. You prepare a formal agenda each time you make love to your spouse.
9. You feel the need to second your child’s motion for more apple pie.
8. You insist all family members wear a “Hi, My name is...” sticky badge to dinner.
7. You hold brainstorming sessions with your dog.
6. You have a whiteboard in your shower.
5. You assign a secretary to record minutes from the breakfast table.
4. Your favorite part of a STAR TREK episode is when the captain calls everyone together for an emergency meeting.
3. You’ve converted your den into a spare boardroom, “just in case.”
2. You have your own monogrammed laser pointer.
1. You secretly crash other organizations’ meetings on your day off.
WHY WE HATE MEETINGS – LET US COUNT THE WAYS
It’s not just the amount of time we spend in meetings, it’s the lack of quality time we’re spending together that frustrates most of us. Here are some of the main beefs people express about meetings.
1. They are too long.*
2. There are too many.
3. They never accomplish anything.
4. They lack any coherent purpose.
5. “I don’t need to be there half the time.”
6. They are too tense.
7. They create meaningless work.
8. There are too many hidden agendas around the table and no one ever speaks the truth.
9. All talk, no action (see #3 & 7).
10. They are not run properly (see #1-14).
11. We just talk in circles (see # 3, 7 & 9).
12. The coffee is horrible.
13. No one ever brings donuts.
14. They are no fun!
I think they should consider giving Oscars for meetings: Best Meeting of the Year, Best Supporting Meeting, Best Meeting Based on Material from Another Meeting. — William GoldmanAdding Humor to Meetings Can...
1. Get people to show up (and on time).
2. Make people actually want to be there.
3. Spark ideas during creativity meetings.
4. Encourage open dialogue.
5. Build trust between people.
6. Foster a sense of teamwork.
7. Promote positive behavior.
8. Discourage unwanted behavior in a non-threatening way.
9. Make business presentations more effective and memorable (or how about just bearable!).
10. Help meeting attendees retain the meeting information. (If folks can’t remember the meeting, how are they supposed to remember what was said?)
11. Reduce escalating conflicts and keep communication flowing on a positive channel.
12. Reduce stress levels.
13. Keep people awake (always a good minimum goal).
14. Leave participants feeling energized and excited after a meeting (versus beaten up, spent and demoralized).
THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO ADDING HUMOR TO YOUR MEETINGS
Each of the below points are elaborated in detail in the book.
1. Create a Fun Agenda
2. Make Fun Part of the Agenda
3. Meet in a Fun Place
4. Name Your Regular Meeting Room Something Inspired
5. Create a Fun Meeting Room Environment
6. Introduce Participants in a Fun Way
7. Create Fun Rewards to Promote Good Behavior
8. Use Fun Penalties to Discourage Unwanted Behavior
9. Hold a Theme Meeting
10. Assign a Meeting Jester
11. Bring Fun Food
12. Get Physical
13. End on an Upbeat Note
14. Have Great Coffee Available
Ch 10: Speaking of Humor
Peggy Noonan, presidential speech writer and author of Simply Speaking says, “Humor is gracious and shows respect. It shows the audience you think enough of them to want to entertain them.”
THE CASE FOR ADDING HUMOR TO PRESENTATIONS
Fact #1: You need an audience.
Speaking to a wall has never been a particularly successful way of communicating. If you want to attract an eager audience, then make sure your presentation title and any promotional literature (even if it’s just one line in a meeting agenda) convey a sense of fun or enthusiasm. Who wants to go hear Bob spew on about the Changing Paradigm of Project Management? Probably only Bob (and even then I wouldn’t count on it).
Fact #2: Audiences listen faster than you can say “wake up!”
We live in a world of flippers and zippers. People flip around the TV dial with their remote controls and zip through commercials on their videotapes. The same holds true for members of your audience, except they’re channel changing inside their head. The typical business person, according to Business Week magazine, has an attention span of only six minutes. And more to the point, while most people speak at an average rate of 150 words per minute, the average listener takes in anywhere from 350 to 600 words per minute.
Which means audience members have time to squeeze in other thoughts and still appear to be listening. As you talk, any given audience member may be thinking to themselves, “I wonder what’s for lunch?” “I wonder if my wife is still mad at me” or “I wonder what the primary export of Bora Bora is?” Some speakers have suggested that close to two-thirds of an audience in a one-hour presentation will daydream about a sexual fantasy (which is why some audiences actually want you to keep speaking longer).
Because of the disparity between speaking and listening rates, audiences need a good “zap” at least once every three to six minutes during a presentation to stay focused and interested. A zap needn’t be a song-and-dance number; it may be as simple as slipping in a quote, asking the audience a question or changing the audio-visual medium. Using humor, however, is one of the most effective zaps available. Humor instantly focuses people’s attention back to the front of the room and keeps their brains tuned to your station.
Fact #3: You must master your nervous energy.
Even the most polished professional speakers admit to getting nervous, and many speakers say they need to be nervous in order to be “on.” The trick is harnessing that nervous energy and making it work for you. Using humor near the start of a presentation helps you breathe easier, relax, slow down and dissipate bottled-up nervous energy. And accessing your sense of humor just prior to presenting does wonders for calming those pre-talk butterflies.
Fact #4: Your audience needs to relax too.
Even audiences get a little anxious, particularly if it’s a learning situation. Adding humor helps the audience relax, making them more accepting to new ideas. It also sends the simple but important message: “We’re here to have fun too folks!”
Fact #5: Humor helps unite an audience.
A united audience is a good thing (unless they’re united against you, but that’s a whole other topic), and nothing unites a group of people better than a shared laugh. When people laugh together they are no longer a gaggle of managers or a flock of union workers, but simply a group of human beings with a common reason to smile.
Fact #6: Humor helps deliver controversial, authoritative or bad news.
If done effectively, humor can soften bad news. Humor diffuses anxieties, shows concern for the audience and helps people see a bad situation in a more positive light. Studies into the communication of sensitive topics suggest that negative appeals (such as “stop smoking or you might die”) have a limited effect, while the use of humor has a much more potent impact. And using humor near the start of a talk can quickly disarm any hostile emotions.
Fact #7: Different people learn in different ways.
Your audience is made up of people who learn in different ways, so to reach everyone effectively, you need to think about incorporating different methods into your presentation. Adding humor is just one more way you can vary your approach.
Fact #8: Humor helps audiences retain information.
Regular bouts of laughter and play boost memory retention.
Tapping into audiences’ emotions helps them retain information longer and remember the ideas hidden inside the humor. One study found that students who took a university statistics course with humor sprinkled into the lectures scored 15% higher on exams than their non-humored counterparts. Another study showed that “concept humor”—humor related to the topic – significantly improved information retention.
Fact #9: Humor improves your credibility and builds rapport.
Credibility and likeability contribute to the overall success of the delivery of any message. If you are going to persuade an audience, then first and foremost they have to trust and like you. Humor is a
perfect way to build trust, reduce the distance between a speaker and the audience and reduce the authoritativeness of the presenter.
Humor can convey the notion that you are “all in this together” and that the presenter shares some of the same experiences. Finding common ground with humor allows a speaker to meet an audience where they are at. In fact, studies have linked humor with a speaker’s credibility, appeal, intelligence, audience attention, participation, retention, comprehension and attitudinal changes. And the use of humorous satire has been shown to substantially improve the persuasiveness of the arguments presented.
Fact #10: Humor helps you have fun too.
Adding humor ensures that you don’t get bored with the material either. If you’re delivering the same talk for the 18th time, or delivering a talk on a dry topic, then you need to think about making it fun for your sake as well. After all, if you can’t get enthusiastic about your topic, why on earth would you expect anyone in your audience to care about it? Using humor can keep the material fresh and lively, and help you look forward to your next presentation.
Fact #11: Humor can make complex topics less intimidating.
Let’s face it, some topics are downright scary. Humor once again rides to the rescue by making even the most frightening topics less scary and easier to understand. Using humor in dry topics has an even greater impact than using it with topics already perceived as interesting. And using humor to deliver sensitive topics can help people confront the material by allowing them to laugh at it.
Fact #12: Humor can reinforce your message.
Jokes and funny anecdotes can help you reiterate your main points in small, easy to digest chunks, allowing you to repeat your main message in a varied and lighthearted manner.
Humor is the lubricant that can make a message go down smoother. — Michael Jeffreys, professional speaker
Fact #13: Humor changes perspectives.
Because humor involves a twist in logic, using it can change an audience’s perspective on an issue. And since we know humor is a catalyst for creative thinking, it also helps to open up minds and encourage more flexible attitudes.
Fact #14: Humor can leave people feeling positive.
Ideally, you want your audience going away feeling positive about you, the talk and themselves. Humor helps foster an upbeat tone that leaves people in a positive mood.
Fact #15: Humor keeps us humble.
One of the few speaking sins that an audience just won’t forgive is when presenters take themselves too seriously. Self-effacing humor keeps speakers humble and accessible to the audience and helps them to recover graciously from bloopers (which are bound to happen anytime we open our mouths in front of a large group of people).
ADDING HUMOR TO YOUR NEXT PRESENTATION (OR THE ONE AFTER THAT) Recovering From Speaking Blunders
Problem and Responses
Losing your place “Sorry, my hard drive just crashed.”
“I think I lost my place, can anyone find it out there?”
“Does anyone know what I was about to say next?”
Speaker/microphone feedback “Wow, was it something I said?”
“Everyone has an opinion on this matter.”
“I haven’t had this much static since...”
“Wow, built-in sound effects.”
Lights go out momentarily “Wow, was it good for you too?”
“Was it something I said?”
“All right, whose turn was it to pay the electrical bill?”
Bulb burns out on a projector “Is there a technician in the house?”
“We are experiencing some technical difficulties, please do not adjust your set.”
“Houston... we have a problem.”
Dropping your notes “Thank you, thank you, a standing ovation please.”
“And now for my encore, I’ll do a half gainer off the podium.”
“And now you know why I was always picked last on the baseball team.”
Checking/rechecking a microphone “Can you hear me at the back? Do you want to hear me at the back?”
Tripping “You know folks, any ordinary person would have fallen completely over.”
“Never try that at home kids.”
“Wow – a perfect 10 from the Romanian judge.”
Tongue-tied “Did you understand that? Because I sure didn’t!”
“Sorry, I just had a new tongue installed this morning.”
“Does anyone have some scissors so I can untie my tongue?”
Voice cracks “And now you know what singing whales sound like.”
“I’m a late bloomer... I just started puberty half an hour ago.”
“Is this an early sign I’m beginning to crack up?”
No one responds when you prompt the audience with a question “Well, there goes the free trip to Hawaii.”
“Perhaps I should rephrase the question in English.”
“Does anyone want to use a lifeline?”
No one responds when you ask the audience if they have any questions “How about any questions about where I buy my clothes?”
“I know the first question is the hardest, so let’s move on to the last question.”
“Well, either I’ve answered all your questions or I’ve confused the heck out of you.”
When a joke falls flat “I’m pretty much just amusing myself at this point.”
“Boy, and I thought Saskatchewan was flat.”
“I’ve often wondered, if a joke falls flat in the forest... then I guess you wouldn’t hear any laughter there either.”
“Thank you for holding your laughter until I say something that is actually funny.”
“I think that one was written by (put in name of the audience’s competitor).”
Stumbling over the pronunciation
Try to say the term two or three times, then finally of a word replace it with a simpler word or phrase (e.g., “ornigal, er, ornithologoist, er... bird expert”)
“Or as we say in English... (repeat the correc pronunciation)”
“Or, as I like to say... (repeat correct word).”
Slides or overheads are out of focus
“Am I in focus, at least?”
“Oops, I was heavily sedated when I took this one.”
“My point here is simple—I think our (your) company needs to be more focused.”
Being heckled
“Thanks for your help, but I usually work alone.”
“Please let’s hold all heckling until after the program so you’ll have even more material.”
“Wow, that’s the first time I’ve heard feedback from the sound system sound like an actual person.”
Cell phone goes off in the audience
“I’m busy right now, can you take a message?”
“If it’s Mom, tell her I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“If it’s Revenue Canada/the IRS/the CIA/the police, I’m not here.” (in a whispered voice)
To be truly effective at using jokes in a presentation, you need to consider a few simple guidelines.
1. Use fresh jokes only.
2. Off-color jokes are off limits.
3. Tell relevant jokes, which preferably link to a message.
4. Keep jokes short and to the point.
5. Practice, practice, practice.
6. Think about placement in the talk.
7. Have a Recovery Plan.
Why Anecdotes are the Best Antidote Against Boredom
Jokes (+) vs. Humorous anecdotes (-)
+ Rely heavily on memory; can be easily forgotten.
- Since they’re your own stories, you won’t get lost or forget them.
+ May be outdated; always a chance the audience will have heard them before.
- Audience won’t have heard them (unless they live with you).
+ Depend heavily on timing and perfect delivery.
- Less reliant on delivery, more dependent on content.
+ Some jokes risk offending people.
- Low chance to offend.
+ Depend on audience “getting it.”
- Less investment required by audience.
+ Because audience know it’s a joke, the set-up requires a big “payoff” in the punchline to get a good laugh.
- Less set-up than a joke, so it’s usually easier to get several laughs with a good story.
+ Often hard to find jokes that link to the audience or talk topic.
- Easier to make a connection to the topic, to illustrate a point or use as an example.
+ Harder to deliver with authenticity (although the delivery will vary, anyone can tell the same joke).
- Because they’re your stories, it strengthens your authenticity; helps separate you from other speakers (no one else can tell your stories, you own them).
+ Harder for audience to digest content associated with joke.
- People communicate via stories, stories are how we best remember & store information.
During his last address at the White House Correspondents’ dinner, U.S. President Bill Clinton also took the opportunity to provide a few yuk yuks at his own expense. “In just eight years I’ve given you enough material for twenty,” Clinton quipped. He went on to tell the 2,600 member audience that his career objective was “to remain president.” The highlight of the evening was a video that parodies Clinton’s last few months in office as a “lame duck president.” The video showed Clinton practicing his golf swing, making lunches for wife Hillary and holding press conferences in front of a lone, sleeping journalist. While his speech illustrated how effective self-effacing humor is, it also provided an example of the fine humor line we sometimes walk. Although Clinton scored big points for his comedic timing and humility, some journalists pondered a bigger question about the line between entertainment and competent YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! 154leadership skills. The issue for these journalists boiled down to this: “Should presidents be signing up for stand-up comedy training or, worse, hired for their comedic abilities?” My answer to this dilemma is, “No... but it might help.”
Ch 11: Humor Blocks
Teaching a person to develop a sense of humor who has a lot of inhibitions is like flushing a drain which is blocked with rubble. Once you remove the blockade, water will start flowing. Dr. Madan Kataria, Laughter Club Founder
Have a look at the following humor blocks and see if they ring any serious alarm bells.
1. I’m Too Professional to Laugh.
2. I’m Too Old to Have Fun.
Ever heard of someone named George Burns? Our sense of humor doesn’t come with an expiry date. As Michael Pritchard said, “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.” Or as someone equally sage said, “Age is only important if you are cheese or wine.”
3. I’m Too Sexy to Laugh.
Some people believe it’s just not sexy to laugh or have fun. Yet, 98% of women surveyed in France would rather have a lover with a great sense of humor than someone with a great body.
And correct me if I’m wrong, but French women know what’s sexy.
4. I’m Too Cool to Laugh.
This condition is prevalent in teenagers, when it’s no longer cool to laugh at certain things, particularly themselves.
Some of this attitude spills over into adulthood, where people believe it’s cool to be as cool as a cucumber and keep their emotions in check. Let’s face it, we don’t often see James Bond giggling or playing with a Slinky.
5. I’m Too Macho to Laugh.
I’ve noticed that when my audience is 50% or more women, the laughs tend to come a little easier. Other humorists agree with me on this. Men tend to laugh once they have the okay from other men to laugh (the other men presumably being wimps). This may stem from the idea that showing emotions openly is a feminine trait, not appropriate for boys and men unless it’s a put-down style of humor. American psychologist David Dodd analyzed over 15,000 yearbook photos and found that even when it comes to just smiling, let alone laughing out loud, girls out smile boys by a wide margin. Dodd found no gender difference in kindergarten, but by grades 4 to 6 males start to look grimmer, and by junior high the gender difference is obvious. Dodd also found differences in adults, where, he suggests, men try to look serious “to prove they are men,” while women tend to smile more to make other people around them relax. Dodd and I may be grossly over generalizing here, but there is a certain amount of truth to the “I’m too macho to laugh” humor block.
6. I’m Too Tired to Laugh.
Obviously your physical state can have a huge impact on your ability to access your humor. If you are tired, physically drained, stressed to the max or just plain sick, it’s hard to tickle the old funny bone. So watch two comedies and get to bed early tonight.
7. I’m Too Perfect to Laugh.
Research into play suggests that egos are a major humor block. Expressing your sense of humor involves taking a bit of a risk. What if no one laughs? What if my funny overture goes unappreciated? If we are perfectionists who like to be constantly in control, this could cause hardening of the laugh arteries.
And, because perfectionists tend to stress out and beat themselves up when things go even slightly wrong, they have a tougher time accessing their humor during mishaps. If you suffer from this ailment, keep the words of Richard Carlson, author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at Work, in mind: “When you leave room in your heart for errors, you also leave room in your heart for humor.”
8. I Don’t Have Time to Laugh.
In this fast-paced, busy, busy, oh-so-busy world, we sometimes don’t make the time to laugh as often as we need to. I’ve met people who feel they cannot indulge in even a two-minute chuckle-fest for fear that they’ll lag behind in the old rat race. If you catch yourself thinking you can’t afford the time to laugh, remind yourself of just the opposite: that given all the benefits of humor, you can’t afford not to take the time to laugh.
9. I’m Afraid of Being Embarrassed.
Three-year-old children don’t embarrass easily; they learn to embarrass easily as they grow up. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here again in case you missed it (it’s not that I don’t trust you, I just want to make sure you understand this critical point): when you learn to laugh at yourself and your own foibles, you take away everyone’s ability to laugh at you. Of course there are still times when we feel embarrassed, but beating people to the punchline is a sure-fire recipe for minimizing your own discomfort in many of life’s awkward moments.
Some folks are even embarrassed about how their laugh sounds, so they tend to keep it bottled up inside. This is truly a shame, since unique, colorful laughs often generate even more group laughter (just ask my friend, “the snorter”). Laughter is simply too precious a gift to keep hidden inside.
Laugh at yourself before anyone else can. — Elsa Maxwell
10. I’m Not Listening.
Poor listening skills are a common humor block.
Ditto for not being observant. When you aren’t tuned in to what’s going on around you, you can miss out on a lot of humor. The more you open your eyes, ears and mind, the more humor you’ll find and the easier it will be to access your humor resources when you need them the most.
11. I Had an Unhappy Childhood, So How Can I Laugh?
Ever heard the expression,
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood”? If you didn’t have a happy childhood, or you’re just coming out of an unhappy marriage or a horrible work situation, then all the more reason to start laughing now to make up for lost time. Laughter focuses us on the here-and-now, not on what happened 10 years ago or what might happen 2 years from tomorrow.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. — George Bernard Shaw
12. How Can I Laugh at a Time Like This?
Gerald Coffee found laughter while captive as a prisoner of war. Viktor Frankl found humor in the midst of an internment camp. The person who put up a “More Open Than Usual” sign outside a bombed-out store in London found humor in the middle of World War II. The restaurant owner who posted the sign: “Waitress Wanted—Must Be Able to Swim” during a devastating flood found a reason to laugh. The Middle East hostages who nicknamed their morning church services “The Church of the Locked Door” found humor during a frightening ordeal. The Dumbbells, a Canadian comedy troop that performed for soldiers during World War I, found something to laugh about in the face of a tragic war. The speaker who put a “Handicapped” sticker on the back of his wheelchair so he wouldn’t be towed away found humor in his life-altering predicament. And whoever had their tombstone engraved with “See,
I Told You I Was Sick” found humor in the face of death.
Even with all these examples, and hundreds more like them,
I’m still not sure I understand how people can laugh at “times like this.” Sometimes I find it hard to laugh when I spill my Fruit Loops or when my favorite TV show didn’t record properly. When I’ve asked people how they could possibly laugh during an unspeakable experience, their response is unsatisfying in its simplicity, yet overwhelmingly obvious. And the answer is always the same. “How could I not laugh?”
To laugh at what we hold sacred and still hold it sacred is the highest form of humor. — Abraham MaslowHUMOR-SQUASHING LANGUAGE
In chapter 6 we listed some examples of idea-busting language.
There’s a parallel here with humor-squashing language, most of which we heard growing up and some of which we still hear as adults.
1. Grow up!
2. How old are you?
3. Get serious!
4. Act your age.
5. You can’t be serious!
6. Quit being silly!
7. Stay focused!
8. This is no time for fun.
9. What’s so funny about this?
10. Are you insane?
11. Are you trying to be funny?
12. This isn’t the time.
13. This isn’t the place.
14. Don’t you think this is important?
15. Let’s get back to work.
16. Okay, Mike, put down the monkey and take that shower cap off your head right now!
ORGANIZATIONAL BLOCKS TO HUMOR
1. Lack of Communication/Poor Morale.
2. “Keep Your Ideas to Yourself.”
3. “It’s Nothing Personal.”
4. Autocratic Dictatorships.
We lead by being human. We do not lead by being corporate, by being professional or by being institutional. — Paul Hawken
5. “Let’s Wait and See.”
6. Conformity Inc.
If a company has two executives that think the same way, someone is redundant. — Anon.What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete barrier? Damn! :D
Ch 12: Practicing Safe Humor (How to Have Fun Without Getting Fired!)
When humor is meant to be taken seriously, it’s no joke. — Lionel Strachey, humoristA TIME AND PLACE FOR HUMOR
There are a few work situations where we might want to tone down our sense of humor or at least be careful about how we use it.
1. Business travel through airport security.
These folks, entrusted with ensuring our safety, are clearly hired for their lack of on-the-job humor.
It’s a criminal offense (included in the Aeronautics Act) to joke about carrying guns or a bomb aboard, so don’t. (A former Tory housing minister had to resign his cabinet post after joking about having a gun at the Ottawa airport.) It’s even dangerous to joke about poultry. When I travel with my assortment of humor props, I usually get searched and asked if I’m carrying poultry. The object of concern is the rubber chicken I travel with (my motto is: “never leave home without your rubber chicken”), and I’ve learned the hard way (can you say “strip-search”?) not to make any flippant remarks about turkey, chicken, or any form of poultry whatsoever.
2. Laying off staff.
Although safe humor can soften the delivery of bad news, when it comes to firings or layoffs, it is best avoided. I know the temptation is to say something like, “Bob, you know how much you like golf? Well, I have some GREAT news for you...” This is not a good idea. Layoffs are the granddaddy of bad news in the workplace and must be handled as sensitively as possible. If the person on the receiving end of the news initiates some humor, then it may be okay to follow their lead, but keep the humor low key and, as always, from the heart.
3. International business.
As more organizations enter the global business arena, the need to be sensitive about working with other nationalities and cultures increases. Different cultures have very different styles of humor, so the chances of offending someone are great if we start treading blindly into these uncharted humor seas. Even the Foreign Service Journal Magazine advises that “next to treason, making an inappropriate joke may rank as the 2nd most taboo practice in diplomacy.”
In dealing with the Japanese, for example, anything that directs attention towards or embarrasses another person is considered taboo and not remotely funny. Japanese people will sometimes smile to mask their embarrassment, or even laugh in the face of tragic news as a way to minimize embarrassment for the deliverer of the news.
And as a general rule, Japanese people will rarely smile for business photographs, no matter how casual or lighthearted the affair.
The Swiss have a very subtle, gentle approach to humor.
Germans from the south of the country are known for their outgoing personalities and sense of humor, while Germans from the north are thought to be more serious. In Malaysia, people sometimes laugh to mask their anger. British humor often focuses on farce and slapstick.
Even American and Canadian humor are different. Canadians tend to enjoy more sarcastic, satirical and self-effacing humor. (As a good Canadian, I should also mention that Canadian humor is substantially funnier than American humor). Besides being aware of the numerous cultural differences in humor and communication styles, we should be wary that a lot of humor stems from language, relying heavily on the use and understanding of a specific word or reference.
Humor involving any sort of wordplay, including most jokes, does not translate easily across languages.
So when meeting and greeting and wining and dining in the international community, use humor sparingly and carefully. At the same time, remember that laughter knows no boundaries. If the opportunity for some safe humor arises, try it out. (I mean, the worst that can happen is you’ll get deported or create an international incident. How bad could that be?)
4. Joking with the media.
My only word of caution here is simply this: sometimes the media, in their quest for the perfect eight-second sound bite, will cut your interview off just before the part where you say, “I’m joking, of course!”
That’s my exhaustive list of when to avoid humor. And even with these examples, it’s not so much avoiding humor as simply considering the context of the situation and the content and style of humor being shared.
Humor Topics to Practice at Your Own Peril
1. Sex 2. Power/positional references 3. Religion 4. Families 5. People’s names 6. People’s physical traits 7. Ethnic/racial topics 8. Politics
The 3 Golden Rules of Practicing Safe Humor
1. Laugh at yourself.
2. Laugh with, never at.
3. Find the humor in the situation, not the people.
The Cost of Unsafe Humor
Unsafe humor divides teams, fosters distrust and cynicism, embarrasses both the originator and audience and, sometimes, gets you fired. Monica Traub, for example, was fired from her job as a trainee cook for the Royal Family after joking about how easy it would be to spike the Royal food. The Philippines’ chief of staff was forced to resign after he joked with the media about the president’s late-night drinking habits. A businessman in British Columbia was let go (a court later found him wrongfully dismissed) for sending lingerie to women in his office as a prank. And Canada’s Avery Haines, a rookie news anchor, was fired after an “inappropriate” joke accidentally played on air.
MANAGING UNSAFE HUMOR
1. Create a humor code of ethics.
2. Keep communication channels open.
3. Have unsafe jokers pay a fine into a coffee or social fund.
4. If you are on the receiving end of an offensive joke, consider the following:
4.1. If you’re offended, start by asking yourself whether it’s worth the effort to get upset or if, in the big scheme of things, it should just be laughed off. In other words, practice accessing your own sense of humor to put things in a proper perspective.
4.2. Don’t laugh. If you didn’t think it was funny, don’t encourage more by pretending to laugh along with the crowd. Women are prone to do this in certain work situations to gain acceptance as “one of the guys.” Children learn at an early age that if they reroute the humor and join in the laughter when someone else is being picked on, they will remain part of the gang and avoid becoming a target themselves. Some of that attitude carries over into adulthood.
4.3. Never respond with anger. If you get visibly upset, chances are that you, as opposed to the joker, will be labeled as having no sense of humor. Often this just increases the frequency of inappropriate jokes when someone realizes they can so easily “get a rise” out of you.
4.4. Never state the obvious, “That wasn’t funny.” This approach rarely works because the counterpoint is always “Yes, it was!” or “Can’t take a joke, huh?” And in reality, even the most insensitive humor will be thought of as funny by some folks, so you can’t win with this one.
4.5. Sometimes a simple “I don’t get it?” or “Do you know any funny jokes?” will make people squirm, because the joker is forced to explain where the humor lies (usually in a pretty shallow place).
4.6. Offer to print the joke in an upcoming article you are writing for the company newsletter or to post it on the company web site. This often helps people see that their joke isn’t appropriate for a wider (or perhaps any) audience.
4.7. Take the person aside afterwards and explain how “other people” may not have taken the joke the right way. This is a gentle approach that says to the joker, “I’m doing you a favor for future reference,” instead of setting up a confrontational situation.
4.8. When appropriate, coach the person in how to give positive feedback rather than using sarcasm or point out that “If you included yourself in your joke, you’ll get a better reception.”
4.9. Focus on the issue, not the person. As with any conflict situation, if you label someone with a name like “you insensitive swine-hound,” it will immediately escalate the situation.
4.10. Try using a “humor flip-flop” to flip the situation onto its back.
Although there is a risk this could degenerate into a battle of wits (or halfwits), if done with finesse you might be able to turn around an awkward situation. Recall Churchill’s humor flipflop in chapter 3. Here’s another of Churchill’s classic humor responses. When invited to a new production of a George Bernard Shaw play, Shaw, in a written note to Churchill, asked him to bring along a friend, “if he has one.” Churchill wrote back that he was unable to attend on the opening night of the play, but he would be happy to attend the second performance,
“if there is one.” Abraham Lincoln pulled a humor flip-flop when someone accused him of being two-faced. “If I had two faces,” Lincoln replied, “would I use this one?”
A standard, all-purpose, humor flip-flop to use when you find the humor offensive might simply be, “You know, I have a great sense of humor, but right now I’m just not sensing any.”
4.11. If a situation becomes a chronic problem and you cannot resolve it yourself, then, and only then, take it to a supervisor or manager.
Ch 13: Guiding Lights for Adding Humor to the Workplace
1. Be Sincere, Be Yourself
Courtney Page, one of the vibrant employees of Play, told me the key to having fun and being creative in their company is quite simple: “Everyone is allowed to be themselves. There is no line drawn between our work and personal lives. People are happier, more fun and more creative when they are free to be who they really are.” And as comedian Jerry Seinfeld reminds us, “The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.” So when practicing humor in the workplace don’t try to be Robin Williams, just be
yourself and be sincere. Do what comes naturally and only what is comfortable for you. If you try a style of humor that doesn’t match your personality, chances are you’ll feel awkward and it will show. Trying to force humor artificially into a situation is like trying to fit a square peg into a penguin—it really doesn’t work and it gets very messy. Being sincere takes a lot less energy than playing any kind of forced role.
Southwest Airlines, even though it’s known for hiring people with a well-developed sense of humor, stresses the need for its employees to be authentic. Airline attendants who are not naturally funny, aren’t encouraged to be humorous over the public address system.
Being sincere means being true to your own voice (“authentic” comes from the Greek language, literally to “be your own author”), which means, on occasion, standing alone from the rest of the pack. So keep those immortal words of Yogi Berra close to your heart: “Don’t always go where the crowd goes. It’s too crowded.”
There is a difference between acting funny and being funny. Don’t act funny. Be human.
— Steve Smith, Director of Ringling Brothers & Barnum & Bailey Clown College2. Everyone Has Their Own Funny Bone
Don’t assume that just because you think something is hysterical, everyone else will too. Our sense of humor is as unique as our fingerprints. One person’s funny bone is another person’s Achilles heel. So don’t be disappointed if your humor falls flat or your co-workers aren’t always on the same laughter frequency. In a survey conducted by Psychology Today magazine, more than 14,000 readers rated 30 jokes, and every joke was rated poor by some and great by others.
There are some general gender differences in our sense of humor. Men tend to be bigger fans of slapstick and low-brow humor (they’re far more likely to appreciate The Three Stooges).
Men also kid around more as a way of expressing affection. For some men, referring to their buddy’s new haircut as a tragic boating accident is as close as they’ll get to saying, “I love you big guy.” In short, when adding humor to the workplace, respect and tolerate each other’s differences.
3. Look for Simple Ways to Add Humor
The wonderful thing about adding humor to work is that small gestures generate enormous payoffs. It’s not, as a general rule, the expensive or grandiose changes that improve the quality of a workplace environment significantly. Surveys suggest that it’s often just the small, simple things done consistently that dramatically improve workplace morale, like sending a simple handwritten card of thanks to someone or bringing in a box of donuts on Monday morning. Although big events are more memorable in our lives, it’s the smaller, day-to-day things that have a major influence on our overall well-being. Another wonderful characteristic of humor is that it’s highly contagious—it’s easy to set in motion the domino effect with simply a dash of humor here or a sprinkle of laughter there.
It also pays to add humor slowly if you work in a conservative work environment. Don’t try and overdo things or you’ll run the risk of alienating folks. Like any other change in the workplace, even though we’re talking about fun, you need to build support by getting management and staff onside, and then build momentum if you want to affect long-term changes to your organizational culture. Be sure to constantly celebrate the benefits of fun and humor in the workplace as a simple way to get more support.
4. Practice Safe Humor
This guiding light is so darned important I dedicated an entire chapter to it (you have read the book, haven’t you?). To recap: practice positive, supportive humor that brings people together and tears down walls. Avoid sexist, racist or any other form of discriminatory humor. And learn to laugh at yourself.
5. Don’t Use Humor as Window Dressing
Humor shouldn’t be viewed as a magical cure-all solution to more serious underlying workplace ailments. Long-standing issues must be resolved for any real changes to take place in your workplace culture. Humor can and, indeed, should be used to ferret out some of those issues, but if you use fun and humor merely to mask or ignore more serious problems, you’ll do everyone a disservice.
If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.
— Erma Bombeck6. Practice Looking for the Good
Look at the following math equations. What do you notice? 3 + 7 = 10
4 + 9 = 13
5 + 6 = 10
8 + 2 = 10
4 + 4 = 8
3 + 3 = 6
If you’re like most people, you notice one equation is wrong.
Like heat-seeking missiles, humans are programmed early on to find mistakes and spot the screw ups in life. Rather than seeing the five out of six that were right (83%!), like armchair coaches, we love pointing out the errors of everyone’s ways and letting the whole world know, “YOU GOT ONE WRONG!”
According to psychologists, 75% of our inner conversations with ourselves is negative talk. As trite as it sounds, we need to practice looking for the good in bad situations and in each other. Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, uses the term “inverse paranoids” to describe folks who believe other people are out to do them good. Let’s face it, if you are constantly focused on what’s not working, why something is a lousy idea or the top-10 reasons your co-worker is such a jerk, it’s going to be that much harder to lighten up and find the humor in life’s day-to-day situations.
Nothing erases unpleasant thoughts more quickly than concentration on pleasant ones.
— Hans Selye, stress researcher7. Practice Fine Tuning Your Humor Vision
You can practice looking for humor in everyday life.
Remember, funnier things don’t happen to comedians, they just focus their comic vision on their daily lives to find the humor that’s already out there waiting to be discovered.
Humorists, comedians and comic writers have two things in common—they are curious and they are astute observers.
Have you noticed when you’re thinking about buying a new car, you suddenly see that type of car everywhere? It’s because your mind is tuned into that particular frequency— it’s known as “selected perception.” The same thing happens when you start looking for the humor in life. Suddenly things you may not have noticed before leap out wildly in front of your face.
Here are a few simple ways to fine-tune your humor sense.
7.1. Read more humor—the comics, humorous novels and short stories. Listen to humor tapes on the drive home.
7.2. Keep a humor journal. Write down funny thoughts, observations, anecdotes and jokes. This helps you remember them, forces you to think about them and lets you focus your comic vision without risk of embarrassment or failure. Make it a minimal goal to add one humorous item per week to a file or journal.
7.3. Practice looking for the humor in bad situations. Take five minutes and ask yourself what’s funny about a bad situation. Try the “things could be worse...” technique or practice reframing situations and looking at them from a comic writer’s perspective.
7.4. Vary your routine. Trying new things and changing the way you do everyday things is an easy prescription for nurturing creativity and your sense of humor.
7.5. Practice being spontaneous until you get it right! It sounds like an oxymoron, but developing your sense of humor means letting go of some humor blocks and taking the risk of being spontaneous. And the great thing is you don’t have to plan for it!
8. Put People First
Humor is a distinctly human trait, so putting humor to work means recognizing that to be successful in any line of work, you have to put people first, whether those people are your clients, patients, superiors, co-workers or employees. In a world of bottom lines, profits and technology, touching each other through laughter is about valuing human connections and relationships.
Being human first, and a businessperson second, is good business. And when you truly practice putting people first, humor will follow naturally.
9. Learn to Love Bloopers
Remember the old 50-50-90 rule: “Anytime there’s a 50% chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% chance you’ll get it wrong.” Learning to love your bloopers is a common theme throughout this book because it’s one of the easiest ways to start laughing more often. A perfectionist attitude is a recipe for leading an overly somber and serious life. Conversely, laughing at our fumbles, besides being a reliable way to cope with stress, keeps us humble. As well, laughing at our bloopers fosters a climate of creativity by encouraging people to take risks without fear of embarrassment. So forgive yourself, forgive others and laugh more often.
When we admit our schnozzles instead of defending them, we begin to laugh and the world laughs with us.
— Jimmy Durante10. Practice Relevant Humor
Just as every profession has its own unique jargon, it also has its own brand of humor. Humor is most effective when it speaks to something everyone can relate to. For that reason, relevant humor that connects to your profession, organization or office will have the most resonance. Not only is relevant humor funnier, it also helps to create a sense of shared history by becoming part of an organization’s personality and distinctive tenor.
Here’s some suggestions for practicing relevant humor.
10.1. Start an office humor file where everyone can submit funny work-related jokes, stories, photographs, bloopers or articles.
10.2. Create a humor bulletin board specifically for workplace humor.
10.3. Start an office humor journal that anyone can add humorous workplace experiences to.
10.4. Scan and clip humorous articles or stories from association newsletters and trade magazines.
10.5. Search the web. There’s humor for every profession out there somewhere on the web.
10.6. Have a regular humor column in your newsletter, web site or annual report to celebrate your humor.
There is no joy in living without joy in work.
— Thomas Aquinas11. Blend in the Humor
Look for opportunities to blend fun and humor into existing workplace practices. Don’t just treat it as something you switch off and on. The more integrated the humor becomes, the more successful you’ll be at achieving a productive balance between work and play.
My definition of self-actualization is when you are confused about the difference between work and play.
— Ken Blanchard12. Hire for Humor
If you want to add more fun to your work environment, then bring people into your organization who are energetic, passionate and have a well-developed sense of humor. Some managers have suggested that this may be the most important thing you can do to create a fun-filled work atmosphere. Assessing potential candidates’ emotional intelligence and their ability to be creative, to problem solve, to manage stress and to interact with other live human beings has never been more important.
Unfortunately, traditional interview processes often fail to select the right people in today’s work climate.
Start by including a good sense of humor as one of the core components of any job description. Then consider taking an offbeat approach to finding potential job candidates, as a way of sending the message that you are looking for creative and fun people. The web site recruiting page for Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, for example, has a goofy picture of Ben and Jerry wearing large ice cream bucket-like hats with the caption “We Want You!” Southwest Airlines has used recruitment ads with a picture of CEO Herb Kelleher wearing an Elvis Presley-style jumpsuit, with the caption, “Work in a place where Elvis has been spotted.”
Now admittedly, evaluating someone’s sense of humor is a tricky undertaking, but there are some simple ways you can at least get a sense of someone’s humor sense. Reference checks can determine if candidates contributed to a positive team atmosphere at their previous employment. Situational questions can determine how candidates might use humor to manage stress in a pressure situation. Ask them how they would contribute to a positive and fun work atmosphere and what they think the role of a good sense of humor is in a work situation.
Or get a little more creative.
At Amy’s Ice Cream, a chain based in Austin, Texas, potential candidates must pass the “paper bag test.” Each prospective employee is given a white paper bag and told to be creative.
The results have been everything from paper masks to bags containing homemade videos. At Trilogy Software, the hiring supervisors are known to take candidates rollerblading or out on some other fun activity as part of the post-interview selection process. And at Netscape, engineers have been handed Silly Putty as part of their interview process.
Even NASA has suggested they need to hire astronauts with YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! 202a good sense of humor. JoAnna Wood, the supervisor of psychology and behavior laboratory at the Johnson Space Center, spent a few years studying scientific teams in Antarctica and found that rising tensions were the number one problem. As reported in an article for the Associated Press, according to Wood, the three most important traits needed in long-term work situations (which future astronauts may find themselves in) are emotional maturity, flexibility and a sense of humor.
I want to see an ad... Wanted: nonconformist, dissenter and rebel; must also be able to add.
— Tom Peters13. Add Humor to Your List of Values, Mission or Vision Statement
The human resources consulting firm William M. Mercer reported that 8% of 286 employers surveyed have a written mission or goal that included the need to incorporate humor or fun into their day-to-day work. Yet, almost everyone I’ve questioned has told me they believe humor is important and that, ideally, they would like to have more fun on their job. If it’s important for your organization to have a people-centered, fun environment, then back it up by saying so in your mission statement and list of core values.
The corporate motto for Grimes Aerospace in Columbus,
Ohio, for example, is “Growth, Profit and Fun.” At Play, their three-word mission is: People * Play * Profit. Play also posts the company’s six values (open-mindedness, passion, respect, energy, enrichment and support) on their office walls. And Tim Monaghan, founder of Domino’s Pizza, lists “Have Fun” as one of the key ways to build a successful company.
If you value humor, say so!
Purpose and laughter are the twins that must not separate.
— Robert K. Greenleaf14: Offer Humor in the Workplace Training
Once you’ve listed humor as one of your core values and included it in your mission statement, back it up by offering staff training in humor in the workplace, creativity, and stress management. At the very least, create a humor resources library, complete with training cassettes, videos and books.
The human race has only one truly effective weapon and that is laughter.
— Mark Twain15. Plan to Have Fun
If you are serious about humor, then treat it like any other workplace priority and plan for it. Some overburdened executives have told me that the only way they achieved balance in their life was by setting specific, measurable targets (for example, committing to being home for family meals at least 20 times per month). What works for stressed-out executives works for stressed-out organizations. So include fun activities and specific humor goals as part of your work plans, goals and targets.
People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. — Dale Carnegie16. Encourage Leadership With Laughter
As we’ve seen throughout this book, humor helps leaders build rapport and trust with employees, manage creativity, promote open communication and motivate employees to new levels of performance. In fact, according to Israeli psychologist Avner Ziv, a person’s sense of humor may be a better predictor of leadership abilities than their IQ level. It makes sense, then, that many leaders are leading with laughter.
Like orchestra conductors, leaders set the tone for an entire company through their actions and attitude. As a leader, laughing at yourself and your own blunders encourages employees to admit their own mistakes without fear of recrimination and keeps you humble. A report by the Forum Corporation suggested that practicing humility is a key way to build trust with employees or co-workers. When managers admitted their mistakes, they were felt to be more competent, not less.
Many successful leaders are known for their abundant sense of humor. Sam Walton, the late former president of Wal-
Mart, challenged his employees to exceed a quota for earn-
ings projections, promising that if they did, he would wear a hula skirt and dance down Wall Street. They exceeded the target and Walton danced. The CEO of Great Plains Software publicly smashed three eggs over his head as he explained three big mistakes he had made in the previous year.
Leaders, however, must be especially careful about practicing safe humor. Managers should avoid humor that plays on their position or power in any manner. Instead, practice positive humor that strengthens teamwork, builds confidence and rewards accomplishments.
A leader without a sense of humor is like a lawn mower at the cemetery – they have lots of people under them, but nobody is paying them any attention. — Bob Ross 17. Keep the Humor Spirit Alive
Adding humor into a workplace isn’t a 1, 2 or even 10 times a year event. It’s an ongoing, day-to-day attitude that permeates every level of an organization.
To give humor a boost in your workplace, create a “Humor Squad” of dedicated, enthusiastic folks to help keep your humor spirit alive. Southwest Airlines, for example, has a culture committee that helps promote the vision and values of the organization.
Remember that happiness is a way of travel – not a destination. — Roy M. Goodman18. Evaluate and Reward Your Sense of Humor We tend to value what we can measure, so on a regular basis, ask yourself, “Are we having fun yet?” On at least a yearly basis, have some way of tracking your company’s success in terms of its level of fun, motivation and commitment by employees and customers. And reward employees or departments who show a commitment to workplace spirit and humor.
He who laughs, lasts! — Mary Pettibone Poole
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