Personality Types Associated With Anxiety

Not all negative self-­talk is the same. Human beings are not only diverse but complex, with multifaceted personalities. These facets are sometimes referred to as “subpersonalities.” 

Our different subpersonalities each play their own distinct role and possess their own voice in the complex workings of consciousness, memory, and dreams. Below you will find four of the more common subpersonality types that tend to be prominent in people who are prone to anxiety: the Worrier, the Critic, the Victim, and the Perfectionist. 

Since the strength of these inner voices varies for different people, you might find it useful to rank them from strongest to weakest in yourself.

1. The Worrier (promotes anxiety)

Characteristics: This usually is the strongest subpersonality in people who are prone to anxiety.

The Worrier creates anxiety by imagining the worst-­case scenario. It scares you with fantasies of disaster or catastrophe when you imagine confronting something you fear. It also aggravates panic by reacting to the first physical symptoms of a panic attack. The Worrier promotes your fears that what is happening is dangerous or embarrassing. 

“What if I have a heart attack?!”
“What will they think if they see me?!” 

In short, the Worrier’s dominant tendencies include: 

1) anticipating the worst, 

2) overestimating the odds of something bad or embarrassing happening, and 

3) creating grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe. 

The Worrier is always vigilant, watching with uneasy apprehension for any small symptoms or signs of trouble.

Favorite expression: By far the favorite expression of the Worrier is “what if...?”

Examples: Some typical dialogue from the Worrier might be: 
“Oh no, my heart’s starting to beat faster! What if I panic and lose complete control of myself?” 

“What if I start stammering in the middle of my speech?” 

“What if they see me shaking?” 

“What if I’m alone and there’s nobody to call?” 

“What if I just can’t get over this phobia?” or 

“What if I’m restricted from going to work for the rest of my life?”

These subpersonalities are based on Reid Wilson’s descriptions of the Worried, Critical, and Hopeless Observers in his book Don’t Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks.

2. The Critic (promotes low self-­esteem)

Characteristics: The Critic is that part of you that is constantly judging and evaluating your behavior (and in this sense may seem more “apart” from you than the other subpersonalities).

It tends to point out your flaws and limitations whenever possible. It jumps on any mistake you make to remind you that you’re a failure. The Critic generates anxiety by putting you down for not being able to handle your panic symptoms, for not being able to go places you used to go, for being unable to perform at your best, or for having to be dependent on someone else. It also likes to compare you with others and usually sees them coming out favorably. It tends to ignore your positive qualities and emphasizes your weaknesses and inadequacies. The Critic may be personified in your own dialogue as the voice of your mother or father, a dreaded teacher, or anyone who wounded you in the past with their criticism.

Favorite expressions: 
“What a disappointment you are!” 
“That was stupid!” 

Examples: The following would be typical of the Critic’s self-­talk: 

“You stupid...” (The Critic relishes negative labels.) 

“Can’t you ever get it right?” 

“Why are you always this way?” 

“Look at how capable is,” or 

“You could have done better.” 

The Critic holds negative self-­beliefs, such as: 

“I’m inferior to others,” 

“I’m not worth much,” 

“There’s something inherently wrong with me,” or 

“I’m weak—­I should be stronger.”

3. The Victim (promotes depression)

Characteristics: The Victim is that part of you that feels helpless or hopeless. It generates anxiety by telling you that you’re not making any progress, that your condition is incurable, or that the road is too long and steep for you to have a real chance at recovering. The Victim also plays a major role in creating depression. The Victim believes that there is something inherently wrong with you: you are in some way deprived, defective, or unworthy. The Victim always perceives
insurmountable obstacles between you and your goals. Characteristically, it bemoans, complains, and regrets things as they are at present. It believes that nothing will ever change.

Favorite expressions: 

“I can’t.” 

“I’ll never be able to.” 

Examples: The Victim will say such things as: 

“I’ll never be able to do that, so what’s the point in even trying?” 

“I feel physically drained today—­why bother doing anything?” 

“Maybe I could have done it if I’d had more initiative ten years ago—­but it’s too late now.” 

The Victim holds such negative self-­beliefs as: 

“I’m hopeless,” 

“I’ve had this problem too long—­it will never get better,” or 

“I’ve tried everything—­nothing is ever going to work.” 

4. The Perfectionist (promotes chronic stress and burnout)

Characteristics: The Perfectionist is a close cousin of the Critic, but its concern is less to put you down than to push and goad you to do better. It generates anxiety by constantly telling you that your efforts aren’t good enough, that you should be working harder, that you should always have everything under control; that you should always be competent, should always be pleasing, should always be (fill in whatever you keep telling yourself that you “should” do or be). The Perfectionist is the hard-­driving part of you that wants to be best and is intolerant of mistakes or setbacks. It has a tendency to try to convince you that your self-­worth is dependent on externals, such as vocational achievement, money and status, acceptance by others, being loved, or your ability to be pleasing and nice to others, regardless of what they do. 

The Perfectionist isn’t convinced by any notions of your inherent self-­worth, but instead pushes you into stress, exhaustion, and burnout in pursuit of its goals. It likes to ignore warning signals from your body.

Favorite expressions: 

“I should.” 
“I have to.” 
“I must.” 

Examples: The Perfectionist may provide such instructions as: 

“I should always be on top of things,” 
“I should always be considerate and unselfish,” 
“I should always be pleasant and nice,” or
“I have to (get this job, make this amount of money, receive approval, and so on)
or I’m not worth much.” 

Personality Styles That Perpetuate Anxiety 

People who are prone to anxiety disorders tend to share certain personality traits. Some of these traits are positive—­such as creativity, intuitive ability, emotional sensitivity, empathy, and amiability. Such traits as these endear anxiety-­prone people to their friends and relatives. Other common traits tend to aggravate anxiety and interfere with the self-­confidence of people with anxiety disorders. This chapter focuses on four of these traits, all of which need to be addressed at some point in the process of recovery.

• Perfectionism
• Excessive need for approval
• Tendency to ignore physical and psychological signs of stress
• Excessive need for control

You may not possess all four of these traits. But if panic, phobias, or generalized anxiety have been part of your life for any length of time, you probably identify with at least two or three of them.

1. Perfectionism 
Perfectionism has two aspects. 

(1.1) First, you have a tendency to have expectations about yourself, others, and life that are unrealistically high. When anything falls short, you become disappointed and/or critical. 

(1.2) Second, you tend to be overconcerned with small flaws and mistakes in yourself or your accomplishments. In focusing on what’s wrong, you tend to discount and ignore what’s right.

Perfectionism is a common cause of low self-­esteem. It is critical of every effort and convinces you that nothing is ever good enough. It can also cause you to drive yourself to the point of chronic stress, exhaustion, and burnout. Every time perfectionism counsels you that you “should,” “have to,” or “must,” you tend to push yourself forward out of anxiety, rather than from natural desire and inclination. The more perfectionistic you are, the more often you’re likely to feel anxious.

2. Excessive Need for Approval

All human beings need approval. Yet for many people struggling with anxiety and phobias, the need for approval can be excessive. Being overly concerned with approval often arises from an inner sense of being flawed or unworthy. This leads to the mistaken belief that you are unacceptable just the way you are (“If people really saw who I am, they wouldn’t accept me”). Individuals with an excessive need for approval are always looking for validation from other people. In trying to be generally pleasing, they may conform so well to others’ expectations that they often ignore their own needs and feelings. Frequently, they have a difficult time setting boundaries or saying no.

The long-­term consequence of always accommodating and pleasing others at the expense of yourself is that you end up with a lot of withheld frustration and resentment over not having taken care of your own basic needs. Withheld frustration and resentment form the unconscious foundation for a lot of chronic anxiety and tension.

3. Tendency to Ignore Physical and Psychological Signs of Stress

People with anxiety disorders are often out of touch with their bodies. If you are anxious or preoccupied with worrying, you may, as the expression goes, be “living in your head”—­not feeling strongly connected with the rest of your body, below the neck. Try checking in with yourself as you are reading right now. Do you feel as if most of your energy—­your “center of gravity”—­is situated from your neck up? Or do you feel solidly connected with the rest of your body, in touch with your chest, stomach, arms, and legs?

To the extent that you are out of touch with your body, you may ignore—­ often unconsciously—­an entire range of physical symptoms that arise when you’re under stress. Examples of physical symptoms that may signify stress are fatigue, headaches, nervous stomach, tight muscles, cold hands, and diarrhea, to mention a few. Unfortunately, when you’re unaware that you’re under stress, you’re likely to keep pushing yourself without taking time out or slowing down. You may keep going until you reach a state of exhaustion or illness.

Many individuals with anxiety disorders have a long history of pushing themselves very hard and continually overextending themselves—­trying to fit too much into too little time. Driven by perfectionist standards, they keep striving to do more and be more for everyone. Often they may go for months at a time—­even years—­without noticing, or simply ignoring, that they are under high levels of stress.

One possible outcome of chronic, cumulative stress is that the neuroendocrine regulatory systems in the brain begin to malfunction, and you develop panic attacks, generalized anxiety, depression, mood swings, or some combination of these three. You might also develop ulcers, hypertension, headaches, or other psychosomatic illnesses under conditions of chronic stress. If it is your neurotransmitter systems that happen to be vulnerable, the effects of chronic stress are likely to show up in the form of an anxiety or mood disorder. Although these disorders cause significant distress in themselves, they are, in fact, warning signs. The body has built-­in mechanisms for preventing its self-­destruction. Developing panic disorder or depression may be viewed as a way in which your body forces you to slow down and alter your lifestyle before you push yourself into catastrophic illness or death.

4. Excessive Need for Control

The excessive need for control makes you want to have everything in life be predictable. It’s a kind of vigilance that requires all the bases to be covered—­the opposite of letting go and trusting in the process of life.

Often an excessive need for control has its origins in a traumatic personal history. After living through experiences in which you felt frightened, vulnerable, or violated and powerless, it’s easy to grow up feeling defensive and vigilant. You may go through life this way, ready to put up your defenses in response to any situation that seems to challenge your sense of security (whether it actually does or not). Survivors of severe trauma often develop highly controlled and/or controlling personalities; or else they may have been so distressed that they decided to give up, feeling depressed and discouraged about maintaining any control of their lives (the latter outcome has been referred to as “learned helplessness”). Overcoming the excessive need for control takes time and persistence.

Reference for further reading: Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (6e, Edmund Bourne)

Tags: Behavioral Science, Emotional Intelligence, Medicine, Personality Types, Psychology