Journal (First meeting with Tushar)

On an October night in 2019, some time after 10 PM, I got a WhatsApp video call. It was Anu and her future husband Tushar. I was pretty tired on that day as I am usually and I took the call and spoke in slightly formal touch. I was serious then and I am serious now about relationships. My every relationship has been complicate. Tushar is a pretty nice, cool and easy going person. It came off right away as he spoke. He and Anu asked me to open up and not be so formal. They were pretty comfortable with each other as there courtship period had been roughly 7 to 9 months and I learnt this not from Anu but as a floating piece of information.
In that very first call, he asked (to tease Anu) to tell all her bad qualities. I refused to do that because in my mind that was not a very good idea to start a conversation or relationship. As I tell them the same thing, he jokes that I will give you a separate call then to discuss particularly this.
On a weekend (Friday night) on the first of November, I had to travel to Delhi to meet the Tushar and his family for the first time. As I usually do, I took the Haryana roadways bus for this Delhi trip. The fare for this ride used to be ₹250 then and overall the ride is not bad if you are traveling once in 3 or 4 months. Only that the time you spend in the bus is about 6 hours and if we add the time spent in traveling from bus stop to home then it goes upto 7.5 hours.
On the Saturday afternoon, I think it was past 1 PM, I had tea before in the morning and now I needed it again. I was dressed up in red check shirt and black pants for the occasion. As I was approaching the society gate from the peripheral road, I saw this gentleman with his family of four having entered the society. It took only some seconds for us recognise each other on the first site. A hand shake with the three of them and a 'hello' to Priyanka.
As we walk to our door, I made the call on landline to tell amma about it. At first, it was only me and them for few minutes, then uncle joined, amma joined, Anu joined, Srishti joined and so on everyone else.
A pretty crazy thing happened right in the first minutes of that awkward silence when Anu, amma, uncle and Srishti were sitting quietly. It was my question to Tushar: Hey, you are sweating. Do you want me to turn on the fan or something?
There was a sweat bead coming down on the forehead of Tushar in the month of November in Delhi.
Priyanka and Neelima maasi promptly covered it up. Neelima maasi passed on a handkerchief and Priyanka clarified that it is nothing, Tushar is only nervous.
I think that there was a little something required as part of food servings at the beginning. The juice that was provided at the beginning was exotic, I didn't recognise it at all. Was it grape, or a mix of grape and some other fruit like guava? The juice wasn't exactly a thirst quencher like an apple juice. The next serving was of the dry fruits, that completely left my mouth dry, not sure about everyone else. I let Srishti know that it had left the mouth dry and that water should also be provided. I think that appeared to be negative to Neelima maasi. She might have thought I wasn't appreciative. Could be that I was thinking wrongly? In my head, I had thought of corporate setting where water is present already in the form of small bottles by default at meetings.
My mom was quiet as she was asked to do by grandma or aunt. Mom was given the instruction that she should not speak except when a question is posed explicitly to her. A very hurtful memory is when mom was asked to have that namkeen or might be it was something from outside, she said in a meekish tone and poorly worded way that "munn nahi hai", which means she wasn't feeling like eating it, or a word to word conversion might be "not in the mood".
Because of my outspoken behaviour in the first few interactions, Neelima maasi has called and specifically asked me in a friendly and motherly voice to sit next to her instead of in the front. So it was mom on my right and maasi on the left. Mom in that situation was not very participative, she sat on the edge of the sofa with wide gap between her and maasi that I had to fill because it clearly appeared to me that this distance was not a friendly distance.
After that there were usual discussions related to tying a knot, asking each side's demands and expectations, etc.
By 4:30 PM, I was very tired of this conversation and it was clear on my face as I was getting lost in my own thoughts. At one point, I was in some thought when maasi looked at my face and I had to force a smile on my lips.
There was some confusion regarding Manju bua's presence. She was upset about something Anu or amma had said or miscommunication. Manju bua told me that such meetings are supposed to be between influential people in the family and she was not one. I didn't say too much only in a formal and impersonal tone that "I think you should come." She came.
The two families decided that they would have roka tomorrow and then we kids went out to enjoy the rest of the day. We went to Delhi Haat and it was only me who was talking (or so I remember). I told stories about my work, and my boss and team and etc because of the lessons I had got at work that I should talk and socialize.
I didn't have any particular taste so I explored and experimented with what Priyanka suggested.
Near the end of the evening in that eatery, Priyanka suggested that we should try filter coffee and I drank two cups of it, the hangover of which I was going to feel till the next day.

Title: Journal (First meeting with Tushar)