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Personal Finance · Mindful Living
What if More Was Never Going to Make You Happy?
"He had everything we're taught to chase — the money, the stuff, the freedom. And still, it was never enough."
On the story that changed everythingMy father was the kind of man who could light up a room without trying. He had a Harley, a big house, a revolving door of exciting friends, and an appetite for adventure that never dimmed. He once told me he wanted to travel to the Congo just to see a gorilla in the wild. That was him — always chasing the next extraordinary thing.
But I knew a different version of that man. I knew the father who missed every single hockey game I ever played. I remember scanning the stands during one particular game, the one he'd promised to attend. He wasn't there. He'd gone out with friends instead. Over the years, my mother left him, his brother stopped calling, and my own brother cut him off entirely — he didn't even know he'd gotten married. My father never met my boys. He died alone on a boat at fifty-four.
He spent his whole life chasing more. And it was never, ever enough.
The Lie We've All Been Told
Here's the belief that ruined my father's life — and one that I carried into my own for far too long: if only I had a little more, I'd finally be happy.
I remember the day I walked through the front door of my dream home. I felt it — that warm rush of I've made it. Then one afternoon, standing in my beautiful backyard with its sunken garden and gazebo, I noticed something: I couldn't hear my boys anymore. They were too far away. The house I'd worked so hard for had quietly created distance between me and the people who mattered most.
That moment stopped me cold. What if I had believed a lie? What if more would never make me happy?
That question sent me down a long road of studying money — not to accumulate it, but to understand it. Why do we want it? What are we really chasing? And what does it cost us when we chase it blindly? Those questions are also why I now teach children about money — not just how to earn and save it, but how to think about it.
The Awesome Stuff Experience
A few years ago, I took my boys, Will and Noah, to Disneyland. Before we walked through the gates, I gave them each twenty dollars and said: "This is your money. Do whatever you want with it. But before you spend a single cent, I want you to try three things."
What followed became one of the most powerful financial lessons I've ever witnessed — and it started not with a spreadsheet or a savings account, but with a pause and a simple question.
Here's what I asked them to do. Close your eyes. Hold out your left hand and think about something you really want to buy right now — a gadget, a pair of shoes, that shiny thing in the window. Got it? That's your "awesome stuff" in this moment.
Now keep your eyes closed. Hold out your right hand. This time, think of something different — maybe it's not a thing at all. Maybe it's laughing so hard your stomach hurts and you still can't stop. Maybe it's being truly present for someone you love when they need you most. Maybe it's watching the sunrise with a person who means everything to you. Hold that in your right hand.
Open your eyes. Look at both hands. Which would you choose?
Sometimes it's still the thing in your left hand — and that's completely fine. But sometimes, the shift is instant. The thing you wanted a moment ago just doesn't seem to matter as much. That feeling — that quiet internal recalibration — is the magic. And it all starts with a pause.
The goal isn't to choose less. It's to choose what matters more — and to know the difference before you spend.
Three Steps That Change Everything
The Awesome Stuff Experience isn't a one-time experiment. It's a system — a daily practice for how we spend, save, and give. It comes down to three things.
Pause and Ask: Is This My Awesome Stuff?
Before any purchase, big or small, take one breath and ask yourself honestly: Is this the thing I actually want, or am I just reacting to the moment? Awareness is the difference between impulse and intention. Will saw a toy plane at Disneyland, picked it up, put it back in his mind — then bought it anyway. And that's okay. The point isn't to say no. The point is to stop buying on autopilot. He chose it; he didn't just grab it. That distinction matters more than the price tag.
Save for Freedom, Not for Things
We've been taught to save with a destination in mind — a bigger purchase, a vacation, an upgrade. But that's really just delayed spending. True saving is different. It's letting your money grow and work for you so that one day you have the freedom to say yes to what really matters. I asked Will and Noah to save just 20% of the twenty dollars I gave them — not as a rule, but as a question: Is there a freedom you'd like to protect? Even 5% or 10% compounded over time creates options. And you can start today, even if you didn't start yesterday.
Give Because You Can
We often teach generosity as an obligation — give because you have more than others, because you should be grateful, because someone is less fortunate. But that framing creates a hierarchy; it turns giving into a transaction. What if we gave simply because we could? Because it feels good, because it connects us, because the things that matter most are almost never the things we keep — they're the ones we share. That day in Disneyland, everyone received a free collector's pin for Mickey and Minnie's birthday. Later in the queue, Will overheard an older woman telling a cast member she hadn't received one. Without hesitation, he walked over and gave her his. The look on her face was unforgettable — as though, for just a moment, she had been truly seen. I caught a glimpse of the man my son is becoming.
A New Money Story
My father passed down one money story — chase more, and happiness will follow. I want to pass down a different one.
The next time a child asks you to buy them something, or you catch yourself reaching for your wallet out of habit, try something first. Pause. Ask the question. Is this my awesome stuff?
It sounds almost too simple. That's the point. After spending most of my life studying money and what it does to people — the lives it builds and the lives it quietly hollows out — I've come to believe there are really only three things worth knowing:
What Actually Matters
- What matters most is rarely a thing. It's people, connection, and meaning.
- The simplest path to financial freedom is to always save first — before you spend, not after.
- You don't need to wait until you have more to give. You can give today, and it doesn't have to cost anything at all.
Financial literacy doesn't have to be a dry subject of compound interest and debt ratios. It can be a conversation about what you actually value. It can be a question you ask at a checkout counter, a moment of pause before a purchase, a small act of generosity on an ordinary Tuesday.
Imagine a world where every child learns to seek meaning over more. Where the pause becomes second nature. Where saving isn't deprivation and giving isn't sacrifice — they're just how you live.
We can build that world. It starts with a single question.
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