2-Mar-13
• Delusional Thinking: Newspapers all full of made up news
• Main paper on the front page had an ad of Apple iPhone (black model in white background (their symbol for me, black spot in white)).
• Last page had an ad of Samsung Tablet.
• HT city on front page had an ad of king-size 'royal apartment' somewhere something.
• Main paper on the international page and other pages had news I could directly relate to. Really, like ‘this is so m*****f***ing bad’ on the international page.
• In the evening on NDTV 1845 to 1945: every second ad was of Apple.
It has been this way ever since December, only that I don’t see it on the regularly and also I have told myself to not read newspaper for the same reason.
1450: I had just kept dongle on my table for use. Prashant entered the room with laptop. I picked the dongle up, fiddling and then I thought to give it over to him and not make shit up. It was a good choice. I spoke (for the first time since when I don’t know) ‘do you want it’, his response ‘hmm’.
• Mahima’s grandpa was outside the balcony, sitting in sunshine, it was a set-up, there was a sneeze later and the way guard picked chair up when next time I saw it and he wasn’t there.
• Women (aunty mostly) from society on walking peripheral rounds were talking bulls***. I heard some lines, and these faggots would only want to see me down.
Tags: Journal,Psychology,Emotional Intelligence,Behavioral Science,
1-November-2012
0640: Nightfall.
0800: Srishti was throwing fits before going to college outside with her mother. It disturbed my sleep.
0910: I was up, brushed.
0930: study (Organizational Behavior)
1000: amma made mashed potato chapatti (Aloo Parantha) and I had quite a lot of salt content. The oil and the weight because of the mashed potato, I didn’t like even a single bite of the four chapatti(s) I ate.
1030: study (Organizational Behavior)
1200: I left for college, this time I see a man in the Rickshaw that came and the man had beard. This is crazy. I was on my way to the bus-stand and a maroon car passing from there just turned on the siren in it. It was a police-siren.
I reached the Laxmi Nagar and as the bus came here. I see a man looking at me, his face was somewhat square and not as much in length as it was supposed to be for being the face of Computer Graphics (third semester) faculty. This man had come on forward by jumping and pushing me somewhat aside as the bus stopped, I was like what the f***. He just put his hand on the hand blocking the way for others from behind. Just after him, a number of other people crowded around the bus-door by pushing me among them and I just sided out of the crowd. I see my hair and make a face like ‘what the f*** are these people’. I just look at them with a face saying ‘crazy people’ by narrowing the eyes-brows, stiffing the pursed lips and nose slightly frowned on the left side, and running hand from over my head. I look up and I see a girl looking at me, she was sitting just at the front of the gate. She was just noticing me with still eyes, almost like mine. As I look at her while climbing and in the moments before that, I reckoned that she had noticed that, I had thought of the situation as being one of a set-up.
• Later I notice that this girl was sent to copy me. Yes, she was copying me.
• When conductor asked for ticket, she took out an R100 note, flat and stretched in her fingers. Then as I look at her with mouth slightly opened, nose slightly frowned on the left side, and eyes telling her ‘why are you doing this, I know what you are doing’. As I was taking out the coin from my left pocket, she was noticing the book cover and her eyes were wide and still. I thought of my own still eyes as I see her looking at me and my things. I took the ticket of Rs 5 on handing him the coin but he still asked for ‘where’ I said ‘Ramesh Park’ and the deal was done. On the 'Ramesh park' stand, I was looking into my phone and not paying attention to calls of the conductor.
• This girl was attractive; she was young, maybe as old as me. She was brown, her in the body hugging kurti she wore, and her shoulders were getting the definition, even though she didn’t have that natural broadness. She had a square thin face with beautiful jaw definition, her hair were beautiful and long falling down to shoulders and were curly-feathered.
• I had to be studying so I didn’t really want to pay attention to her. I needed to study and I had the book out in my hand. I would read from it and then try to memories by looking up after reading a sentence or two. I hadn’t really noticed her leg-wear. I noticed that now, it was loose Salwar, the traditional. It was to show the change from the pencil-slacks of body hugging kurti that they showed lately.
• Her bench was not so much filled, but one more person would have only added to congestion on her bench for three people. On the next bench, a young man sat in the first place and even this bench had three people already. As a lower-middle class girl in her late teens, and with hairy hands and simple suit and physique thin as wood-stick. She was poor and rustic in appearance. The young man on the second bench pointed the girl to sit on the first bench and the eye-balling-girl pointed out her stiff hand and pointed finger to this bench here with an equal pointed and excited tone. For a split second, I was like ‘why here’ but then it really wasn’t a problem with me. Just that this eye-ball-girl was a b***h.
• Sometime later, the second bench had emptied. The poor-ugly girl from my left had gone and there was enough space for a person to come on my bench. This guy just jumped from his bench and came on to my bench as the third person from my bench had got up to leave. This was crazy; actually, it was create momentum in the environment for change of seat so that according to them I should have jumped to sit on the second bench and next to the eye-ball-girl. This was a very stupid act.
• I would be looking into my book, and then sneaking a peek at her. I didn’t really want to notice her but she was like hot, though from middle class, I had to give her a blinking notice once in a while.
• She was noticing me too, and she was noticing real deep.
• She noticed my socks and now I told myself that it is enough and that I should make a note out of it. I take out my phone and start typing the high-lighted things about her and her behavior. My socks were not really clean but were just fine with color even if they were dirty.
• I was getting somewhat irritated and I had to keep myself to myself. I realized that my hands were shaking as I wanted to type and it was because I was uncomfortable. My hands shake as I would press the keys of the phone. At 1238, I typed in "do not f***ing look there" and I think my face also had got the right expression as this thought hovered on my mind as I typed in. This last look on the face must not have looked good to her.
• Some 10-20 minutes later when the stop came, I take the book up in my hand and saw her looking away to the front glass and not here at the back at me. She too got up and got down the bus. She got down first being at the front of the exit. I got down being last of the people who got down then on that second last stop outside of Metro station.
• There was this other young woman sitting on the second place of the first bench after the girl who was eyeing me and was next to the partition. This other woman seemed opposite in terms of the behavior that the young girl displayed during this trip.
• This other young woman was chinky with still broad eyes. She was modern in outfit. She wore dark blue shirt with standing thin white strips. She was clean with fine features and maybe a serious type. She wore tight black skinny denim and the shirt tucked inside. Her hair was straight and free-flowing. She had used thick eye-liner.
• When I had got down the bus in the end and the bus had moved from between me and the eye-ball-girl, I looked at her going in other direction. The chinky-young woman was behind her. I was looking back at her while going on my way and she was looking back at me as she walked in her direction into the metro-station area. I glanced at her and she held eyes with me. The thought on my mind was ‘who was this girl’ and as I held eyes with her, I was like ‘you are pretty, cute, but I was seriously needed to study’.
• This girl after like 4-5 seconds looked on her way and as this girl moved her neck to herself, the chinky-young-woman turned her back to see the car that had blown horn far behind her. I didn’t jerk my neck off even though I might have looked like looking at her. I turned my neck straight after a moment.
• The chinky-young-woman in her late 20s, reminded me of Rohan Katyal’s mother (from my ninth class times), her name was Bhumika.
The three-wheeler to college had two women in the morning and a man who was way too rugged and untidy and unclean. The women were middle-aged like 30s and each had kid with them. It was to show that a woman who is 35 must have a kid who should be 5 and that someone who is 20 would lie exactly at the median of the two.
• There was a Muslim sitting on my just right, and there was another man on the window seat. He could me from behind. I could see Muslim’s hand-nails and how dirty he was and his folded and bent shoulders. It was to show me what I can compare myself to, f***ing Discipline Committee act. I never realized that maybe he might have also tried to look into my phone screen. The Muslim was a creepy thing to watch.
• The man on Muslim’s right fingered his nose, this is pathetic now.
I got down from the three-wheeler to cross the roads and near the end, I was pushing the coin (change of Rs 5) into my pocket and my skinny-jeans seemed to slip below from my waist. I had reflexively used both hands to hold it back and pull it up.
As I was on now on the incline to the road to college, I see an old man in his late 50s; he wore specs and mud-colored shirt and formals. His gait was like he was tired and that too was an attempt to make me see what it could be like in the future. This was creepy.
~ ~ ~
• The first time that went closer to the railing, I saw Shweta Sharma appear from the corner and went down the path to the exit on that side. I just saw her and thought that maybe I should side away. After seeing her taking few steps from upper floor, I sided with ease. She was dressed in saree, and looked dumb as always.
• The second time that I was close to the railing, I saw the Physics round-face maiden, and she was in pencil-ladies-suit. She was dressed in pencil-suit. It was because it is "Karva Chauth" tomorrow.
• In the evening, on the road at the time when I was walking back to the Metro station, I saw a man in black shirt overtake me first and then that he was looking to the left with his raising his neck to the angle for the height of the building on the other side of the opposite-going-lane of the road.
• I had Organizational Behavior exam at 1330. I was in the 4002 room next to examination-cell where the back-exams happen, I was waiting for the time to come and examiner to come. There came this Digital Circuits and Systems II tuition teacher here, even though I had always thought that he didn’t teach here. I didn’t want him to know that I had back in OB too.
• I had to go to opposite room, 4002 to ask if that was the room for back-exams but it wasn’t. It was 6th semester Digital Signal Processing teacher (Mrs Jain) and she was just easy and nice to talk. She didn’t know where the back-paper was to happen.
• I had to do what I didn’t want to do now; I had to go to exam-cell. I got in there and Tanuja Nautiyal (backstabber) was there standing next to the long table on which two men were sitting. I just lean down on the table to talk to the one on the right. Tanuja Nautiyal (backstabber) was in the visual perception being at front and on the right, and she had just turned around nicely. Then she just turn nice and easy around again to look normal, the man pointed me to the person on his left and as I looking up to him now, TBS was out of my visual-perception. He told me that it is 5004.
• I went to the 5th block, the room was closed. I had to come back here, okay on my way I see a person that looked like trying to be pretending to be like me in looks, given his thin thin-lean physique, face with some length and specs and nose having different definition.
• I ran to the room 5004 in the other building just at the end. It was locked in the next room, the teacher denied of knowing about back-papers. I went back to the exam-cell, it was just one person here now; the one who was on the right before. I just bend on the table putting my both hands down and flat and putting my book under the right hand. I look at him and ask ‘what room is it for the back-paper of OB’, there is nothing in 5004, and he said it is 5002 and was telling me the way to it. He asked me what block it was, ‘Fourth block’ and he told me the way to the fifth block, which was ‘go to end, it is third starting on the right’.
• Tanuja Nautiyal (backstabber) was at behind me on the right this time and it was not a problem. She was in Orange saree; she has a weird choice of colors.
• This man had come around outside the class later, to see if I was in the room probably. Tanuja Nautiyal (backstabber) might have sent him to do that.
• The invigilator was PUNJABI lady; she had an angular nose-bridge. She was around 30, younger probably. She was supposed to remind me of the first semester English teacher ‘Bhawna’ ma’am.
• The classroom had smelled bad, due to the smell coming from outside of the window. I felt if it was from me, WTF.
In the exam, the invigilator allowed an enormous amount of cheating to the students. Like for Kriti Bahl, he told Sonam to shift to the right so that Kriti could see her answer sheet clearly. The fatso Parul doesn’t really show as much sympathy, she would be telling me a ‘no’ and would be hiding her sheet even on the day when the teacher who knew the students was making the students help the ones who were trying to seek help from them, f*** it.
I might fail in this exam; f*** it, Advanced Computer Architecture.
• The invigilator in the class-room was the "ECE block, good looking, broken tooth, somewhat old, unmarried, who used to jump her b**** on road for me while high walking". She was in yellow body-hugging ladies kurti. From my seat, I could see the invigilator in the other classroom and it was more like designed to be this way. (The other day there was this person with bald-tiny-hair-do in blue-shirt and formal pants. A reminder of the hair-do I had in September.)
An announcement had been made that those who did not sign for final-exams will have to meet Uttam Advanced Computer Architecture teacher (CSE1-coordinator).
• It was Kanupriya and Pranshu of CSE2 here when I came to sign. I hadn’t noticed but Garima Sethi (teacher) was sitting there on the door that I missed while entering. She was telling something to some students, girls. While leaving in a minute after signing, I just heard saying something to them and she was not rolling her tongue to much in the condescending tone that she had before this moment today.
• Akshita was also there and she had borrowed me her pen to sign. I think these girls were like visual-treat again today.
~ ~ ~
• When I left the college gate, I saw that a girl was there in a three-wheeler and she wore some white top with green under it. A few steps closer to it and it was Isha Baliyan alone in the three-wheeler, it was for a purpose by Discipline Committee. I don’t know what they want.
• A few steps ahead I saw a junior-guy about an inch or two shorter than me. He was this apple-face, cute, sexy, and hot by face, big, fluffy, busty, cute, voluptuous, chubby, and modern by body. She is also junior. As I see this guy speaking to someone, I saw her in the next footstep. She is this cute angel, a total wow thing right from the first moment. As I saw her, she turned away, like being ashamed of being seen with this guy, and he called her like ‘listen please’. I just walked. It was not real I can tell.
• I had seen this girl during last terminal when she was sitting there on the lower floor with her legs stretched flat and she was reading this Java book. I had gone down to see off other of my class, and she was in the way, was in red, looking just as hot as always.
• During the previous exam, I had seen her come up from the slant-entry just on my right. While Nitish and Akash looked on the left at Vibha at that moment, I had seen her coming and I looked at this chick appear on the slant at about 3 meters away from me. She was in pink t-shirt and as she passed, I look straight at her.
• When I was coming back, home from college, there were two conductors on the bus standing at the stop and both had fine face features. One that got down and was just there for the set-up had taken the seat on the left at the back.
• I took a Rs 10 ticket after this man who was a set-up. He wore dark-blue shirt, black trousers, carried a brown laptop carry-case. He wore thick-frame specs, his complexion was dark-brown, his hair was short and combed to the back. The conductor had first asked him for ticket, he gave away Rs 10 without saying anything, I gave off Rs 10 and he looked at me as I look back at him. He was such a prick, in his mid-30s. He was doing a dodge of eye-sight on me like he saw something that he kind of missed and then does a check if it was actually nothing interesting. As the conductor got onto the third man in the bus on the bench to my right, that man just said out ‘for Rs 5’ in a low tone and accent. He was f***ing copying me; f*** that, as he didn’t mention the bus-stand he was to get down, creepy.
• The man in specs was a copy-cat, he yawned badly and by making sound when I felt like sleepy and had tilted my head to the window. I then tilted my head totally down with the neck-loose to avoid anything further. (He was supposed to remind me of the Prashant, f*** them.)
• There sat a young guy on the bench in the front of me as I was on the window seat on the right of the bench at the end. He wore red collared t-shirt, blue denim and he was covering some skin ailment on the side of neck. He was stuck to ear-phones. He was a fake too.
• I was on my way to the metro-station on the long straight road after the red-light crossing; a rickshaw-stall with basket near the lower front corner was close to me when I looked back at the vehicle. This was to check the presence of my mind on the surroundings, or how feared I was, or whatever.
• A rugged man, whom I had seen having fit with another man, had then walked up to me to overtake from the right.
• On the other side of the road, I see a man with gait like that of dad except this man’s backbone was even more bent, his hands were twisted to the back, his legs were more stiff, and this was way too awkward than how dad had been, who used to look like taking hops and not like a weird alien creature.
• When I was washroom to squeeze out nose before Advanced Computer Architecture paper. There was another guy in green-shirt and he too squeezed nose in the wash-basin, the one on the left, the same one I would use.
• While I stood on the railing with my back to it outside the class, there was a tall (6-2 maybe), heavy, broad shouldered man. I had looked back while in the free talk with Rizwan and Nitin. The man was with this bullshit-bozo-physics-teacher. This tall, heavy weight ugly faced man was crisscrossing his eye-sight on to me.
• Rizwan had used eye-liner, a show of his Muslim religion, as I brandish ‘Jain’ for myself. HOD in his office was putting down ear-phones, something that I can relate to music and that I have been shown a number of times by people in the buses when I travel. While I was walking down the stairs after an exam, I had seen my classmate from last semesters’ terminal exams, the Muslim. I had seen my partner from the previous terminal papers. I had seen the ugly face teacher from IT block, who had been trying to walk back and forth from the door in the time of summer training here at the college. I had seen the look-alike of the lady-trainer-support with monkey face from the times of last year’s summer training. The rickshaw-puller who offered to take me to college for Rs 10 when I was getting late, was a fake, I think he was one of the guards from the college-main-gate-security. Ravi’s elder brother had been there outside of the examination-cell. I couldn’t really see the face of the girl who was in the bus on the evening of 30-Nov; I felt she was look-alike of Ravi’s sister; it would be crazy if she actually was her.
• On some nights, I have heard Rishi Taneja, Pranav Ralli, and Kapil Middha laughing, walking, and talking out loud outside of the window which is crazy, on one night when I was eating my food on the study table; I think Kapil had also pointed out to me being visible from the vertical-thinner-window on the table-end. I had heard Hardik, Amogh and Appu outside, they were like going or coming from somewhere. I couldn’t really figure out, but my last guess was that Appu and other had come from watching some movie and now Amogh had driven his car to somewhere outside of society with Harshit. I wished I could be out with them, but what was the point. Once while in the canteen parking, there was this maid who works in Block-4 (Administration Block) to serve and move things. She is a pussy known for being watched by the Rizwan, Faizan, Nishant, Apurv, etc, and so my name also features on the list. I had seen a teacher in the bald-tiny-hair-cut just as was mine in September. I had seen a man in this hair-do again in Laxmi Nagar, WTF. After an exam, while I was on my way to the other block, Uttam sir of 'Advanced Computer Architecture' had passed in pace by looking at me for a short-once while smiling longer than casual or normal smile. The other day, Saurabh (gay, deaf, dumb, p*mp (Garima Sethi is the s***)) had passed by me looking down on his way. This means the news is spreading even more.
• There had been a man high walking outside the society-gate as I reached back here after college. He was high walking real ugly.
• I was on my way to the red-light while walking on the road outside college, and two cars at a large distance and with the entire road for them were approaching. As I cross the road, one blew horn loud without any need. I looked back and another one came blowing horn with no need. The two cars had gone ahead and still blew horn with no reason. This was Discipline Committee act to show me cars now.
• Before the crossing, the road, on the other side, a young woman in yellow suit and black slacks was walking up here. He had this good rack and her suit like got stuck in the legs-division, looking like cloth-v*****, f***.
• In Laxmi Nagar when I was going to get photocopy for the certificate and for printouts of Akash, Love and Shukla. I had come outside on learning that the shop was not going to do photocopy. I was just not feeling it right that I had walk more to get a simple photocopy of one page here in LN, something that I could have done near home. I had come here to Shukla’s place. Then he tells me that he didn’t have it, as he had given it to Sonam. In his house, I was sitting on the chair I was like going crazy over not getting what I had wanted.
• Outside of the printout shop, a man had come and got in just after I had come out. He inquired about something ad came out and then walked onto his way. I felt as if something was wrong with him. He looked like he had to get somewhere and save a moment to do something.
• On the way to the next shop for lamination, these guys saw a b**** sitting and they were talking me f***ing her and they clicking the picture. I just told them how that a big deal and I just turn back to put my feet on the elevation where b**** was sitting and by just that it got scared and jumped off of the raise. (Next morning along with the newspaper came a small card that told of the unseen benefits in life like improvements in luck, money, etc issues when we feed dog, fish, cow and ant. I just got it in the old newspaper and put it in dump.)
• On the outside of the lamination shop, I was standing under an orange-neon lamp post, and I see a person approaching here from the right. It was like some 4-5 meters away, his face was visible clearly in the Neon light. He had the face, height and physique of the Naveen Tanvar (XII standard classmate, 2008). This person’s face had that little smile in the lips, the face was clear and clean. The hair-do was much like the same. His gaze was calm, face muscles relaxed; eyes had little glitter from the street-light. Six or seven seconds of eye-holding and then some 2-3 meters away, he watched ahead of him.
• In the lamination shop, a guy had some over and seen the HCL certificate, he said something of his brother and of the Director of HCLCDC. He said something like acquaintance. I didn’t really pay much attention and walked out with the others.
• I saw a Naveen's look-alike again while I was on Laxmi Nagar's inner bus-stop. The person here was at a distance of about 3-4 meters and he was in black-striped shirt and formals waiting for the bus. He had drifted his glance through me to turn his face onto the road.
• When these guys were getting thier files in spiral-bind, I was tired and sat on a bike standing out in the narrow and dark street. I saw a tall-woman in shawl approaching here and I just tried to use my skills of trying to frame the mindset of person. This woman was not Garima-the-slut. On the other side of the road, she was some 2 2-half meters when she scratched her temple on the right.
• Abhinav (Tanuja Nautiyal's husband, I remember his face from Facebook) look-alike twice in Laxmi Nagar. He was with some Sikh-person. He was 6 feet and an inch or two. This person is not the one who the Discipline Committee tried to put before me. I had seen him like twice, once while going to the print-out shop and then outside of the spiral-binding shop when I was sitting on the bike.
• On the Laxmi Nagar bus-stand-on crossing, I was listening to phone call of Seema aunt she was telling me to bring the Mahendi-cone (mahendi is also known as Indian Tattoo). I see a man with his right feet trudging badly, as if it was paralyzed and he had to drag it. I went around to find the cone and then I was told by a shop-keeper to cross the road and get on the other side by crossing there road. As I got on the other side, I see this man there near the end of the road and walking, he crossed the busy road. What the f***ing hell?
• Before 347, 374 had gone. In 347, I got the seat quite immediately; even as no woman was there to let me leave the seat for her, nor anyone else came forward as I gave a look around to see if there was a woman.
• In the bus, I got the seat right next as I walked to the middle of the pathway in the bus. The seat had just been vacated by a man and as I look around there was no woman to take it. So I just sat on it. I think it was left so that the man on my shoulder could see as I type in the message or note on phone. I was not typing at all times; I had put my hand on the knee rest and had rested my forehead in the fingers to give some relaxation. This person next to me had a touch-screen phone of Sony and I asked him if the time was ‘eight-fifteen’, he said ‘no, it is 9-15’. I was so wrong about the time. This person got up and another one came to sit and he was expecting me to shift in, but I just kept my legs spread for him to get in. When the stop was close, and had just passed the turn that I walk in to back from the stop, a man had come over to put his both hands on the straight bar there on the elevation above the bus-tire for the things to be kept. It was just in the way that I would stand on the late afternoons after tiring through the day and after sleeping at the back of the bus for the 45 minutes and then not being able to walk or stand in the bus without support. This man held the bar with both hands and stood to look outside the window flat straight. I had to now get past him and the crowd of three four men that were in the way. I got up reached the first pole, held and then looked for the distribution of the crowd. I had to whizz from the middle of the four-five people and get the hold of the bar of the exit door. I did that, in four steps, one behind the person who stood like me taking the complete hold of the iron-bar and then next before the steps of the people standing there to cover the vertical-bars. Every support-rod was covered except for the ones on the door. I took the third one through the two who stood to cover the vertical-supports, the side-elbow-rest-bar of the seat behind the driver there, the vertical rod next to the driver, and the horizontal rods next to driver, everyone except for the ones on the door. As I had taken the third step and brought my back-foot to the front, I had felt that it somewhat was nicked by the legs of those who were standing on the way. I still got the fourth step right, the hold of rod on the right-door with my left hand. Just as I was here in the space, the driver had whisked, jerked the bus like right-left-right. I had only felt it little as I was stiff and comfortable as I stood. It was all a plan.
• The man in the dress of DTC personnel on my stand (NOIDA crossing) was a fake.
• In the evening while going to Shukla’s place, any bus I got on, the conductor had called out for ticket or pass. On the bus stand before mother-dairy, I saw a girl appearing from the dark as I stood in the light of the bus-stand. I just took a step back as she came one step closer, and she also came in light as she came from the under tree. She was not that cute. My stupid act, kind of, scared her and she stood for a second for two next to the traffic-cop and I just turned around waited for the bus and walked here and there, back and forth to let know that it was all okay. She disappeared some minutes later. Soon a red AC 469 came; I got on with a guy. It was a fake. The guy was a fake, when conductor had called out for ticket, this guy said he had pass, I had my certificate and I just didn’t bother to say anything or look back. He had got on to be my escort which was bad. I had moved on to the front, there was this woman who looked married, was cute, tall, and had a nice face. I looked at her as she talked on the phone. She was not giving way, she was maintained. She got down on Mother-dairy. Along with her got down the entire crowd on the front almost. I had noticed her from the glass pane somewhat, I didn’t really follow, and it was just casual. I thought that some other woman with her husband on a bike resembled just her. I had to get down on the stop after the over-bridge. I was just standing there. I didn’t notice when everyone around me had got down and I was the only one there with the vertical-pole next to the driver. The conductor had called out again for ticket but I didn’t bother. When the bus was on the stop before climbing the over-bridge, I noticed that I was the standing in the bus even as seats were empty. I just took a step back from the driver and tried feel and look comfortable. The conductor then came forward and I just looked back and sat on the first seat next to a woman who was working, in her late 20s. She carried a good back-pack. She was talking on phone and I think I sat on the strap of her bag which was lying on the seat. I realized that most on the row on the left were professionals in formals. I had turned my neck to take a look at the first ones to my left; I didn’t really bother to look to the end, because that would have been freakish if they had looked at me and me looking back at them. This woman next to me got up, pulling the little portion of the strap of her bag on the same stand as me; I got down with her and then walked my way to Shukla’s house. I saw a number of cute and good faces, thinking that it was all just fine and I was on my own, actually, I never was.
Tags: Journal,Indian Politics,
Syntax errors, also known as parsing errors, are perhaps the most common kind of complaint you get while you are still learning Python:
>>>
>>> while True print('Hello world')
File "<stdin>", line 1
while True print('Hello world')
^
SyntaxError: invalid syntax
The parser repeats the offending line and displays a little ‘arrow’ pointing at the earliest point in the line where the error was detected. The error is caused by (or at least detected at) the token preceding the arrow: in the example, the error is detected at the function print(), since a colon (':') is missing before it. File name and line number are printed so you know where to look in case the input came from a script.
An example of name error and package resolution
(base) C:\Users\Ashish Jain\OneDrive\Desktop>python
Python 3.7.1 (default, Dec 10 2018, 22:54:23) [MSC v.1915 64 bit (AMD64)] :: Anaconda, Inc. on win32
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> re
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "<stdin>", line 1, in <module>
NameError: name 're' is not defined
>>> import re
>>> re
<module 're' from 'E:\\programfiles\\Anaconda3\\lib\\re.py'>
>>> exit()
8.2. Exceptions
Even if a statement or expression is syntactically correct, it may cause an error when an attempt is made to execute it. Errors detected during execution are called exceptions and are not unconditionally fatal: you will soon learn how to handle them in Python programs. Most exceptions are not handled by programs, however, and result in error messages as shown here:
>>>
>>> 10 * (1/0)
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "<stdin>", line 1, in <module>
ZeroDivisionError: division by zero
>>> 4 + spam*3
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "<stdin>", line 1, in <module>
NameError: name 'spam' is not defined
>>> '2' + 2
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "<stdin>", line 1, in <module>
TypeError: Can't convert 'int' object to str implicitly
The last line of the error message indicates what happened. Exceptions come in different types, and the type is printed as part of the message: the types in the example are ZeroDivisionError, NameError and TypeError. The string printed as the exception type is the name of the built-in exception that occurred. This is true for all built-in exceptions, but need not be true for user-defined exceptions (although it is a useful convention). Standard exception names are built-in identifiers (not reserved keywords).
The rest of the line provides detail based on the type of exception and what caused it.
The preceding part of the error message shows the context where the exception occurred, in the form of a stack traceback. In general it contains a stack traceback listing source lines; however, it will not display lines read from standard input.
Built-in Exceptions lists the built-in exceptions and their meanings.
8.3. Handling Exceptions
It is possible to write programs that handle selected exceptions. Look at the following example, which asks the user for input until a valid integer has been entered, but allows the user to interrupt the program (using Control-C or whatever the operating system supports); note that a user-generated interruption is signalled by raising the KeyboardInterrupt exception.
>>>
>>> while True:
... try:
... x = int(input("Please enter a number: "))
... break
... except ValueError:
... print("Oops! That was no valid number. Try again...")
...
The try statement works as follows.
1. First, the try clause (the statement(s) between the try and except keywords) is executed.
2. If no exception occurs, the except clause is skipped and execution of the try statement is finished.
3. If an exception occurs during execution of the try clause, the rest of the clause is skipped. Then if its type matches the exception named after the except keyword, the except clause is executed, and then execution continues after the try statement.
4. If an exception occurs which does not match the exception named in the except clause, it is passed on to outer try statements; if no handler is found, it is an unhandled exception and execution stops with a message as shown above.
~ ~ ~
A try statement may have more than one except clause, to specify handlers for different exceptions. At most one handler will be executed. Handlers only handle exceptions that occur in the corresponding try clause, not in other handlers of the same try statement. An except clause may name multiple exceptions as a parenthesized tuple, for example:
... except (RuntimeError, TypeError, NameError):
... pass
A class in an except clause is compatible with an exception if it is the same class or a base class thereof (but not the other way around — an except clause listing a derived class is not compatible with a base class). For example, the following code will print B, C, D in that order:
class B(Exception):
pass
class C(B):
pass
class D(C):
pass
for cls in [B, C, D]:
try:
raise cls()
except D:
print("D")
except C:
print("C")
except B:
print("B")
OUT:
(base) C:\Users\Ashish Jain\OneDrive\Desktop>python script2.py
B
C
D
~ ~ ~
class B(Exception):
pass
class C(B):
pass
class D(C):
pass
for cls in [B, C, D]:
try:
raise cls()
except B:
print("B")
except C:
print("C")
except D:
print("D")
OUT:
(base) C:\Users\Ashish Jain\OneDrive\Desktop>python script3.py
B
B
B
~ ~ ~
Another example "Division By Zero"
#Handling run-time error: division by zero
def this_fails():
x = 1/0
try:
this_fails()
except ZeroDivisionError as err:
print('Handling run-time error:', err)
Modified version:
def division(a, b):
print("a:", a)
print("b:", b)
if b == 0:
raise Exception
return a/b
try:
print("Success:", division(5, 5))
division(5, 0)
except ZeroDivisionError as err:
print('Handling run-time error:', err)
OUT:
(base) C:\Users\Ashish Jain\OneDrive\Desktop>python script5.py
a: 5
b: 5
Success: 1.0
a: 5
b: 0
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "script5.py", line 10, in <module>
division(5, 0)
File "script5.py", line 5, in division
raise Exception
Exception
# Defining Clean-up Actions
If a finally clause is present, the finally clause will execute as the last task before the try statement completes. The finally clause runs whether or not the try statement produces an exception. The following points discuss more complex cases when an exception occurs:
1. If an exception occurs during execution of the try clause, the exception may be handled by an except clause. If the exception is not handled by an except clause, the exception is re-raised after the finally clause has been executed.
2. An exception could occur during execution of an except or else clause. Again, the exception is re-raised after the finally clause has been executed.
3. If the finally clause executes a break, continue or return statement, exceptions are not re-raised.
4. If the try statement reaches a break, continue or return statement, the finally clause will execute just prior to the break, continue or return statement’s execution.
5. If a finally clause includes a return statement, the returned value will be the one from the finally clause’s return statement, not the value from the try clause’s return statement.
For example:
Pari 10 Tablet
Prescription: Required
Manufacturer: Ipca Laboratories Ltd
SALT COMPOSITION: Paroxetine (10mg)
Storage: Store below 30°C
Introduction
Pari 10 Tablet is a type of antidepressant belonging to the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) group of medicines. It is widely prescribed to treat depression and anxiety-related conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder, and panic disorder.
Pari 10 Tablet helps many people to recover from depression by improving their mood and relieving anxiety and tension. It can be taken with or without food. The dose and how often you need it will be decided by your doctor so that you get the right amount to control your symptoms.
Your doctor may start you on a lower dose and increase it gradually. Do not change the dose or stop taking it without talking to your doctor, even if you feel well. Doing so may make your condition worse or you may suffer from unpleasant withdrawal symptoms (anxiety, restlessness, palpitations, dizziness, sleep disturbances, etc).
To get the most benefit, take this medicine regularly at the same time each day. Your doctor may advise you to take it in the morning if you have trouble sleeping. It may take a few weeks before you start feeling better. Let your doctor know if you do not see any improvement even after 4 weeks.
Some common side effects of Pari 10 Tablet include nausea, fatigue, dry mouth, loss of appetite, increased sweating, dizziness, nervousness, tremors, insomnia (difficulty in sleeping), and constipation. Sexual side effects like decreased sexual drive, delayed ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction may also be seen. Let your doctor know straight away if you develop any sudden worsening of mood or any thoughts about harming yourself.
Before taking this medicine, you should tell your doctor if you have epilepsy (seizure disorder or fits), diabetes, liver or kidney disease, heart problems, or glaucoma. These may affect your treatment. Pregnant or breastfeeding women should also consult their doctor before taking it. Some other medicines may affect the way it works, especially other antidepressants and medicines called MAO inhibitors. Please tell your doctor about all the medicines you are taking to make sure you are safe.
Uses of Pari Tablet
1. Depression
2. Panic disorder
3. Anxiety disorder
Benefits of Pari Tablet
1. In Depression
Pari 10 Tablet works by increasing the level of a chemical called serotonin in the brain. This improves your mood, relieves anxiety, tension, and helps you sleep better. It has fewer side effects than older antidepressants. It usually takes 4-6 weeks for this medicine to work so you need to keep taking it even if you feel it is not working. Do not stop taking it, even if you feel better unless your doctor advises you to.
2. In Panic disorder
Pari 10 Tablet can help relieve symptoms of many panic disorders including panic attacks. It can help you feel calmer and improve your ability to deal with problems. Do not stop taking it, even when you feel better, unless your doctor advises you to.
3. In Anxiety disorder
Pari 10 Tablet helps relieve symptoms of many anxiety disorders including obsessive-compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder by increasing the level of a chemical called serotonin in your brain. It has fewer side effects than older antidepressants and is normally taken once a day. It helps you feel calm with a better ability to deal with problems. Exercise and a healthy diet can also improve your mood. Keep taking the medicine until your doctor advises you to stop.
Side effects of Pari Tablet
Most side effects do not require any medical attention and disappear as your body adjusts to the medicine. Consult your doctor if they persist or if you’re worried about them.
Common side effects of Pari:
1. Nausea
2. Fatigue
3. Dryness in mouth
4. Loss of appetite
5. Increased sweating
6. Dizziness
7. Nervousness
8. Tremor
9. Insomnia (difficulty in sleeping)
10. Low sexual desire
11. Confusion
12. Constipation
13. Erectile dysfunction
14. Delayed ejaculation
15. Decreased libido
Quick Tips
1. It can take 2-3 weeks for Pari 10 Tablet to start working.
2. Do not stop treatment suddenly as this may cause upset stomach, flu-like withdrawal symptoms, and sleep disturbance.
3. If your doctor asks you to stop Pari 10 Tablet, you should reduce the dose slowly over 4 weeks.
4. Avoid consuming alcohol when taking Pari 10 Tablet, as it may cause excessive drowsiness and calmness.
5. The addiction/dependence potential of Pari 10 Tablet is very less.
Fact Box
Chemical Class: Phenylpiperidine Derivative
Habit Forming: No
Therapeutic Class: NEURO CNS
Action Class: Selective Seretonin Reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
MEDICINE INTERACTION
1. Pari 10 Tablet & Linaz 600mg Tablet
2. Pari 10 Tablet & Linwel 600mg Tablet
3. Pari 10 Tablet & Cadlizo 600mg Tablet
4. Pari 10 Tablet & Linezo 600mg Tablet
5. Pari 10 Tablet & Genolid Tablet
6. Pari 10 Tablet & Lenazol 600mg Tablet
7. Pari 10 Tablet & Linzobus Dry Syrup
8. Pari 10 Tablet & Linopik OD Tablet SR
9. Pari 10 Tablet & Linzomax 600mg Tablet
10. Pari 10 Tablet & Linzomax IV 600mg Infusion
Concurrent use of Linezolid and Paroxetine should be avoided.
Tags: Medicine, Science, Technology, Psychology
Corruption
1) Governance:
For our governments to be stable and effective, we must fight corruption.
2) Strong Judicial System:
We should ensure that leaders and government agents became answerable to the taxpayer.
3) Education:
The public should be educated on the ills of corruption.
4) Right to Information (RTI) Against The Corrupt Citizens:
While those who have stolen public funds are made to return it and face the full force of the law.
5) Right to Information (RTI) Against The Tax Havens:
Again, people known to have stashed money in foreign banks should be forced to repatriate that money so as to improve cash flow in our economies. This will put our countries on the road to prosperity.
6) Digitization of The Economy:
Through digitization of the economy, we can bring in transparency, and corruption would reduce.
Tags: Indian Politics,Politics,Banking,Investment,Kenya,Management,Technology,
The medical profession has a long tradition of respect for human rights. However a small number of doctors and health professional have betrayed ethical norms and insisted in abuses against detainees and prisoners. AL medical groups in many countries around the world campaign for an end of medical participation in human rights violations. In countries where human rights violations are widely spread, medical personnel can have access to prisoners in circumstances where the prisoner is denied other protective contact such as with legal counsel or with family. For these reasons, doctor's role "I'm safeguarding the health and security of the prisoner" is of considerable importance. Where human rights violations are not systematic or not even a major concern, the doctors can still play a protective role. But in many countries this role of protection is negated by the failure of medical personnel to adhere to basic tenets of medical ethics.
It is not possible to determine the number of individual abuses involving doctors nor the number of doctors involved in human rights violations around the world. The definition of what constitutes medical involvements is not clear. The number of doctors consciously and deliberately engaging in torture and other cruel inhuman and degrading treatment or punishment represent a tiny proportion of profession. The number of those who are aware of abuses carried out against prisoners by police, security or prisoners officer is much more substantial. Medical involvement in torture ranges from the inflection of torture by the doctors themselves, through acting as an adviser or medical supervisors of torture to the false certification of health or of death after torture has been afflicted. In many case's, the behaviors of the doctors encompasses more than one of these roles.
The role of doctors in torture stem from his medical expertise. The doctors appear to play the role of advisory during torture rather than inflicting torture personally. However, there is a fine line between inflicting torture and assisting others to carry it out, and doctors who are present during torture can easily slip from one role to the other. In some cases, a medical activity such as administering medication by intravenous injection may appear to the prisoner to be threatening or even a form of torture. When doctors administer substances in the absence of therapeutic need and with the intention to cause suffering they become torturous. Moreover, the vulnerability of the prisoners and the sense of betrayed which he or she experiences when confronted by a doctor who is working with torture can itself amplify the suffering.
AL have received evidence and numerous testimonies from prisoners. In Morocco, a prisoner alleged in 1986 that a medical person was involved in the torture. Doctors may be present during torture to prevent the death of the prisoner or to ensure that the prisoner leaves no mark. The torture were highly trained in methods of exacting the maximum pain without leaving any significant physical traces. AL has received reports of medical examination being genuine just prior to the appearance in court. It has also documented the use of medical certificates to falsely indicate that the prisoner has been released from custody. In some cases it is not clear whether certificates have been deliberately falsified or are incompetently prepared. Pressure is sometimes applied to medical personnel to withhold or to falsify evidence.
The participation of doctors in such punishment has been documented. Powerful antipsychotic drugs have in the past been regularly administered to prisoners. Medical personnel have also failed to protect patients from arbitrary violence inflicted by nurse or guards. There has been a long tradition of medical attendance at executions in Europe. The presence of doctors in the execution chamber could result in their having to participate in the execution process even where the method is not at all.Some doctors have placed the interest of security forces of the prisoners. Over two thousands years after Hippocrates, it is surely that all medical practitioners must observe the dictum "Above all, do no harm".
Notes
Primum non nocere (Classical Latin: [ˈpriːmũː noːn nɔˈkeːrɛ]) is a Latin phrase that means "first, do no harm". The phrase is sometimes recorded as primum nil nocere.
Non-maleficence, which is derived from the maxim, is one of the principal precepts of bioethics that all students in healthcare are taught in school and is a fundamental principle throughout the world. Another way to state it is that, "given an existing problem, it may be better not to do something, or even to do nothing, than to risk causing more harm than good." It reminds healthcare personnel to consider the possible harm that any intervention might do. It is invoked when debating the use of an intervention that carries an obvious risk of harm but a less certain chance of benefit.
Non-maleficence is often contrasted with its corollary, beneficence.
Tags: Kenya,Indian Politics,Politics,Behavioral Science,Medicine,Psychology,Science,
1-March-2013
• I was calling from aunt’s phone and amma saw it, and commented. I have money issues. Babaji spoke to show off his wealth, kind of my reverse psychology skills came into being. He handed me Rs 1000 straight. He was, of course, unhappy, but I told him that I was going to use them for the entire project and not just for paying phone bill.
• Spitting, person reminding of Anshu (the communication skills teacher), and a man taking a leak in my view.
• 15 minutes walk to get Mukesh here left me tired, knees were feeling it.
1030-1410: I was with Mukesh for final project based on NLP (Natural Language Processing).
1300: Mahima and Esha were outside window. Mahima screaming about her Math exam gone well. They were gone now and 10 minutes later, Naina’s voice (low, going, once).
I made the drawings, Mukesh put them on computer.
• I made calls from his phone so there were calls on his phone on ‘time’, crazy.
INFRARED / SURVEILLANCE EFFECT:
Evening: Apple Ads on TV in sync with my movement in and out of the room. Or it was like every second ad.
Tags: Journal,Psychology,Emotional Intelligence,
Ref: health.harvard.edu
Acetaminophen controls pain and fever but does not reduce inflammation, as does aspirin and the other widely consumed nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, generics) and naproxen (Aleve, generics). But unlike NSAIDs, acetaminophen does not irritate the stomach and intestinal lining. That means a person who cannot tolerate NSAIDs can still take acetaminophen. It's an important drug for controlling chronic pain in older adults.
How to stay within limits
If you ever have concerns about how much acetaminophen you can tolerate based on your age, body size, and health status, talk to your doctor or pharmacist. Here are some general precautions for avoiding an accidental overdose of acetaminophen.
1. Cold and flu remedies count. When you reach for an over-the-counter cough, cold, or flu product, take a look at the label. Does it contain acetaminophen?
2. Know the milligrams in your pills. In acetaminophen products available over the counter, each pill may contain 325, 500, or 650 milligrams of the drug. Be extra cautious when taking 500 or 650 milligram pills.
3. Stick to recommended doses. When taking acetaminophen, don't be tempted to add a little extra to the recommended dose. A small-bodied person should stay on the low end of the recommended dose range (3,000 mg).
4. Easy on the alcohol. Drinking alcohol causes the liver to convert more of the acetaminophen you take into toxic byproducts. Men should not have more than two standard drinks per day when taking acetaminophen (one drink per day for women).
5. Know if your medications interact. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if any of your prescription medications could interact badly with acetaminophen.
Acetaminophen: How much can you take safely?
325 mg ## 500 mg ## 650 mg extended release
Take how many pills at a time?: 1 or 2 ## 1 or 2 ## 1 or 2
Take how often?: Every 4 to 6 hours ## Every 4 to 6 hours ## Every 8 hours
Safest maximum daily dose for most adults: 8 pills ## 6 pills ## 4 pills
Never take more than this in a 24-hour period: 12 pills (3900 mg) ## 8 pills (4000 mg) ## 6 pills (3900 mg)
Saridon has 250mg of Paracetamol: maximum daily dosage to sum upto 4000mg => 16 pills~ ~ ~
Propyphenazone: Maximum Dosage
Ref: medindia.net
In India: Dart (300mg/150mg/50mg)
• The recommended dose of the drug is 75 to 150 mg tablet orally.
• Propyphenazone should be taken up to a maximum of four times a day.
Maximum Dosage: 4 pills~ ~ ~
Caffeine
Ref: mayoclinic.orgHow much is too much?
Up to 400 milligrams (mg) of caffeine a day appears to be safe for most healthy adults. That's roughly the amount of caffeine in four cups of brewed coffee, 10 cans of cola or two "energy shot" drinks. Keep in mind that the actual caffeine content in beverages varies widely, especially among energy drinks.
Caffeine in powder or liquid form can provide toxic levels of caffeine, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has cautioned. Just one teaspoon of powdered caffeine is equivalent to about 28 cups of coffee. Such high levels of caffeine can cause serious health problems and possibly death.
You drink more than 4 cups of coffee a day
You may want to cut back if you're drinking more than 4 cups of caffeinated coffee a day (or the equivalent) and you have side effects such as:
1. Headache
2. Insomnia
3. Nervousness
4. Irritability
5. Frequent urination or inability to control urination
6. Fast heartbeat
7. Muscle tremors
Maximum Dosage of Saridon based on Caffeine content: (400 / 50) mg: 8 pills
Based on the constituent salts: The maximum dosage of Saridon comes out to be 4 pills (based on maximum dosage of Propyphenazone)
