Sunday, September 27, 2026

The Rule of Thirds: Why Feeling Bad a Third of the Time Means You Are Chasing the Right Dream

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The Rule of Thirds: Why Feeling Bad a Third of the Time Means You Are Chasing the Right Dream

I was one month out from my Olympic race in Rio, the 10,000 meters, when I failed to hit my splits in a very important workout. I stood in lane one and cried. I thought, What am I going to do? Am I good enough? If I could not hit my splits in front of five teammates, how could I possibly do it in front of thousands of people on the world stage? I begged my watch to change its mind. Then my coach, himself an Olympian, turned to me and said something calm and confident.

"Take your watch off."

I thought maybe he was telling me I was not good enough. I said, "What?" He said it again. Then he told me the best advice I have ever received in my life. It is called the rule of thirds.

What Exactly Is the Rule of Thirds?

The rule of thirds says that when you are chasing a dream, or doing anything hard, you are supposed to feel good a third of the time. You are supposed to feel okay another third of the time. And you are supposed to feel crappy the final third of the time.

If you feel too good all the time, it might be a sign that your ratio is off. You are not pushing yourself enough to go beyond the boundaries of your current potential into the great unknown. You might need to dial things up. If you feel too bad all the time, that might mean you are fatiguing or doing something unsustainable. You might need to dial things back. But if you are within this ratio, then the bad days are not actually bad. They just mean you are chasing a dream.

This was a radical reframe for me. In a culture that sells constant happiness, relentless positivity, and motivational highlight reels, the rule of thirds feels almost countercultural. We are often told that if we truly love something, it should feel good most of the time. But that is not how growth works. Growth lives in the uncomfortable third.

Why the Bad Third Is Not Optional

Most people quit during the crappy third. They interpret discomfort as evidence that they made a mistake. They think, "If this were the right path, I would feel excited and confident." But the rule of thirds says the opposite. The presence of bad days is not a warning sign. It is a vital sign.

Think about any challenging pursuit. Learning a language, building a business, writing a book, training for a marathon, raising a child. There are days you feel brilliant and days you feel like a fraud. If you never felt bad, you would never be pressing against the edges of what you can do. The bad third is where adaptation happens. Muscles break down before they rebuild stronger. Writers face blank pages before the story emerges. Entrepreneurs fail before they find product-market fit. The bad third is the cost of admission to the good third.

Here is a simple way to understand the three zones:

Zone Rough Share What It Feels Like What It Teaches You Warning Sign If Too Much
Feel good About one third Fast, joyful, confident, effortless This is the reward that keeps you hooked You may be coasting or avoiding hard edges
Feel okay About one third Neutral, steady, doing the work This is the maintenance of consistent effort You may be stuck in your comfort zone
Feel crappy About one third Heavy, slow, doubtful, uncomfortable This is the growth zone; adaptation lives here You may be overtraining, burning out, or heading toward injury

Taking the Watch Off: Effort Over Pace

That day on the track, my coach had me take my watch off because the workout was not about pace. It was about effort. When I stopped looking at numbers that told me I was failing, I could focus on the only thing I actually controlled: giving 100 percent effort even when I did not feel 100 percent fast.

I got back on the track and finished the workout. I gave everything I had. And then I went to the Olympics, broke a national record, and ran a personal best. It was awesome. My coach was right.

But the deeper lesson was not about running. The watch was a symbol of all the external metrics we use to judge ourselves. Pace, salary, follower count, grades, sales, comparison to someone else. When those numbers turn against us, we often spiral. We beg the metrics to change. We forget that the true measure of a hard pursuit is not whether every single day looks impressive. It is whether we keep showing up with honest effort.

Beyond the Track: How the Rule Applies to Books, Movies, and Moods

The rule of thirds has not only helped me in running. It is how I live the rest of my life. It is how I wrote my book Bravey. It is how I directed three movies. It is how I look at myself day to day, how I feel, how I think about my mood and my emotions.

On the days when writing feels like dragging words out of mud, I no longer think I am a bad writer. I think, "This is my crappy third. It is part of the process." On the days when creative direction feels impossible, I do not spiral into despair. I recognize the pattern. The bad days are not a detour from the dream. They are part of the dream.

This also applies to emotional life. We tend to believe that a mentally healthy person feels stable and happy all the time. But a full life includes grief, boredom, irritation, and confusion. The rule of thirds gives us permission to feel bad without turning a bad mood into a bad identity.

The Ultimate Test: 100 Miles Through the Night

A few years after the Olympics, I entered the Leadville 100-mile race in the Rocky Mountains. It is one of the hardest races in the country. It is 16 times the distance of my Olympic race, with over 15,000 feet of elevation change. Only about half of the people who start actually finish. You go all night. It is wild.

The Leadville 100 is the opposite of the Olympics. The Olympics is about pace, time, and place. Leadville is about being present and just continuing to move. There was no coach out there monitoring my thirds. During the race, I felt every feeling under the sun and under the moon. In one moment, I was a brave, capable voyager. In another, I was barely hanging on.

A past version of me would have felt really down about those hard moments. There were some very hard moments in the woods. But now I understood that the hard moments were part of a bigger picture of success. At one point, I felt like I could not run anymore. My legs felt like they had metal rods in them. I had to walk. I walked the last 40 miles of that race through the night, all night. But I did not give up.

That race taught me to let go of control, believe in the process, and be really, really present. If we step back, the rule of thirds can help us see the picture of a bigger dream-chasing journey. In a moment of pain, it can help us stay on our own team, even when no coach or anyone else is there to tell us it was meant to be this way.

Comparing Two Kinds of Hard

Sometimes we need different mental skills for different challenges. Both the Olympic 10K and the Leadville 100 were brutally hard, but in different ways. Here is how the rule of thirds showed up in each.

Aspect Olympic 10,000 Meters Leadville 100-Mile Race
Core goal Chase speed and place Chase presence and forward motion
Metric of success Pace, time, national record Finishing, staying present
Mental skill required Precision, racing tactics, fast decisions Endurance, surrender, long-term patience
How the rule shows up Good thirds in fast workouts, bad thirds in missed splits Moments of feeling like a voyager vs barely hanging on
Key lesson Take the watch off; effort over pace Let go of control; keep moving
Outcome Broke national record, personal best Walked 40 miles through the night, finished

A Fable: The Potter and the Uneven Kiln

There once was a potter who fired her pots in a kiln that was uneven. On good days, the kiln burned beautifully and the pots came out smooth and bright. On bad days, the heat was too low or too high, and pots cracked. The potter complained to her teacher that half her pots were ruined.

The teacher said, "You do not need a kiln that never ruins a pot. You need to know that every great potter works with breakage. The cracks teach you about the clay, the heat, and your own patience. A potter who never breaks a pot is not making anything bold."

The potter stopped hating the bad fire days. She studied them. And her best work appeared in the imperfect kiln.

The same is true for any dream. The bad third is not waste. It is feedback. You cannot make bold things without some breakage.

How to Use the Rule of Thirds in Your Own Life

You do not need to be an Olympic runner to use this. The rule works for students, parents, artists, employees, founders, and anyone trying to do something that matters. Here is a practical way to apply it.

1. Audit your last week. Count the days you felt good, okay, and crappy. Does the ratio roughly sit near one third, one third, one third? If not, ask whether you need to dial up the challenge or pull back toward recovery.

2. Name the moment. When a bad workout, a bad writing session, a bad meeting, or a bad day arrives, label it out loud or in your journal: "This is my crappy third. It is part of the deal." Naming it reduces shame and stops you from turning one bad moment into a story about your worth.

3. Separate the moment from the story. A bad hour is not a bad life. A bad chapter is not the whole book. A missed split is not a failed career. Keep the scale right.

4. Remove the false metric. If a number, pace, weight, sales figure, or like count is making you feel like quitting, take the watch off. Focus on effort instead of pace. Ask, "Did I give my best with what I had today?" That is the only question that moves you forward.

5. Stay on your own team. Talk to yourself the way a wise coach would. Not with false cheer, but with steady truth. Say, "This is meant to be hard. Keep moving. You are supposed to feel this way sometimes."

Takeaways

1. The rule of thirds says you should feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time when chasing a dream.

2. Feeling bad all the time means you may need to recover. Feeling good all the time may mean you are not pushing hard enough.

3. Bad days are not a sign you are on the wrong path. They are evidence you are on a hard path, which is usually the right one.

4. When metrics fail you, take the watch off. Return to effort.

5. You do not need a coach beside you to stay on your own team. The rule of thirds is portable. You can carry it anywhere.

A Final Word

That day my coach taught me the rule of thirds must have been his good third, because that day he taught me how to understand and coach myself. I love my bad days now. Not because they feel good, but because they mean I am still chasing something that matters.

There is an important boundary here. The rule of thirds is for the normal ups and downs of a hard pursuit. It is not a substitute for professional help if you are constantly feeling bad. If bad days stretch into bad weeks, or if you cannot feel joy at all, please talk to someone. But for the everyday discomfort of growth, this rule is a life raft.

Instead of asking yourself to be the best, ask yourself to try your best and do not give up. It is a bad day. It is not a bad life.

"It's a bad day. It's not a bad life."

The next time you are in your own version of lane one, crying and begging the numbers to change, remember that the bad third is not a bug. It is a feature of every dream worth chasing.

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