Quotations 2020-Jan-19

# If you want to end up there, you have to aim there. - Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

# Man lives freely only by his readiness to die. - Mahatma Gandhi

# Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mahatma Gandhi

# Our species is no longer humble. It has no reverence. It is arrogant and filled with its own technology. It seduces itself constantly in terms of its illusions that it is in control, and so it creates chaos and still refuses to see that it is impossible for it to control. We take from the Earth and from each other. We destroy forests and oceans and atmosphere. We enslave each other, and torture and beat and humiliate and murder each other. Book: Seat of the soul (Gary Zukav)

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From the book: Self Help (Samuel Smiles)

# It was a maxim of Lord Bacon, that when it was necessary to economize, it was better to look after petty savings than to descend to petty gettings.

# The proverb says that “an empty bag cannot stand upright;” neither can a man who is in debt.

# The first step in debt is like the first step in falsehood; almost involving the necessity of proceeding in the same course, debt following debt, as lie follows lie. Haydon, the painter, dated his decline from the day on which he first borrowed money. He realized the truth of the proverb, “Who goes a-borrowing, goes a-sorrowing.” The significant entry in his diary is: “Here began debt and obligation, out of which I have never been and never shall be extricated as long as I live.”

# Frugality is not only the basis of quiet, but of beneficence. No man can help others that wants help himself; we must have enough before we have to spare.”

# Sir Walter Scott used to say that “of all vices drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.” Not only so, but it is incompatible with economy, decency, health, and honest living. When a youth cannot restrain, he must abstain. Dr. Johnson’s case is the case of many. He said, referring to his own habits, “Sir, I can abstain; but I can’t be moderate.”

# “Real glory Springs from the silent conquest of ourselves, And without that the conqueror is nought But the first slave.”

# Chinese Proverbs About Money:
“Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.” 
“Diligence is the mother of good luck.” 
“No pains no gains.” 
“No sweat no sweet.” 
“Work and thou shalt have.” 
“The world is his who has patience and industry.”
“Better go to bed supperless than rise in debt.”

# “The drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty; and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.” “Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings.” But above all, “It is better to get wisdom than gold; for wisdom is better than rubies, and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.”

# Every man ought so to contrive as to live within his means. This practice is of the very essence of honesty. For if a man do not manage honestly to live within his own means, he must necessarily be living dishonestly upon the means of somebody else. Those who are careless about personal expenditure, and consider merely their own gratification, without regard for the comfort of others, generally find out the real uses of money when it is too late.

# Socrates said, “Let him that would move the world move first himself. ” Or as the old rhyme runs — “If every one would see To his own reformation, How very easily You might reform a nation.”

# The reply of the Spartan father, who said to his son, when complaining that his sword was too short, “Add a step to it,” is applicable to everything in life.

# As the sun has shone brightly on me through life, it would be ungrateful in me not to employ a portion of the fortune I possess in promoting the welfare of those amongst whom I live, and by whose industry I have been aided in its organisation.

# Either I will find a way or make one.

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# Integrity has been at the heart of our brand since our beginning. We do what's right, even when no one is looking. If we let integrity guide our business, we will win. - Steve Squeri (CEO, Amex (2018))

# Diligence is one of the seven heavenly virtues. Diligent behavior is indicative of a work ethic; a belief that work is good in itself.

# The INVEST principles coined by Bill Wake can be used for writing good user stories and reviewing them.
I: Independent
N: Negotiable
V: Valuable
E: "Estimable"
S: Small
T: Testable

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Explain to the group or individual that emotional intelligence requires honesty in our relationships. When most of us think about dishonesty, we think about lying. Certainly that is one form of dishonesty. But most leaders are not telling blatant untruths. However, well-meaning trainers and instructors have tried to teach managers “techniques” to use to improve performance. These techniques include things like:

• The Sandwich Technique – in which you give someone negative feedback, sandwiched between positive feedback
• Positive Reinforcement – in which managers are told to give positive reinforcement according to specific timetables and for specific gain
• Reward and Recognition Programs — which tie positive feedback to a monetary reward, such as a $100
• On the Spot Award

Unfortunately, although none of these suggestions are intended to cause mistrust, they often lead to feelings of manipulation or deceit.

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• Thinking positive thoughts without acting on them is akin to not having the positive thoughts in the first place.
• Research shows that deliberate thinking about the effect of one’s actions on the recipient is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. 
• Every action we take or don't take, sends a message.

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Ask the group to consider that words impacted the hearts of followers in the following cases: Martin Luther King’s inspiring “I have a dream…” words; John F. Kennedy’s call to action, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”; and Abraham Lincoln’s reflective “Four score and seven years ago… .” Use these examples as support that words are significant.

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Incongruent actions can cause our followers to get the sense that we are “not real,” that something that we project is not in line with what we believe. Followers are quick to notice these inconsistencies and will often label these leaders as “cardboard cutouts,” because they do not know what they truly believe and act only on what the company tells them to believe.

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# Book: Stay hungry, stay foolish (Rashmi Bansal) 

1. Entrepreneurship is about dozens of small leaps of faith like this. Taken every day. Often, you have to take a contrarian stand. You can't say why but this feels right. And you have to have it your way.

2. “When I am talking to entrepreneurs, I always say base your business on deep customer insights, the way naukri was formed.”

3. Entrepreneurship is an itch. The only ointment which soothes it is work. Lots and lots of it! And it must be interesting, intensive and audacious.

4. "No pain, no gain" is an exercise motto that promises greater value rewards for the price of hard and even painful work. Under this conception competitive professionals, such as athletes and artists, are required to endure pain and stress to achieve professional excellence. 

# Kill them with success and bury them with smile.

# Robin Lee Graham “At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much.” 

# "The good seaman weathers the storm he cannot avoid, and avoids the storm he cannot weather.” 

# Thomas Carlyle: “A man without a goal is like a ship without a rudder.” (Ref: www.oceanofnews.com/15-sea-quotes/)

# To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. -- Winston Churchill

# Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do. - Steve Jobs (US computer engineer & industrialist (1955 - 2011))

# The only remedy I know for the wound of rejection and exclusion is the balm of recognition and acceptance — in other words, inclusion. (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman)

# Athletes sometimes call this state the “zone.” If tennis players, for example, get preoccupied with their last point or the next point, they will not perform well. Being fully present—being in the zone—they can surrender to the moment and play their best. Former sprinter Mark Richardson, talking about his experience of being in the zone as a runner, explains: It’s a very strange feeling. It’s as if time slows down and you see everything so clearly. You just know that everything about your technique is spot on. It just feels so effortless; it’s almost as if you’re floating across the track. Every muscle, every fiber, every sinew is working in complete harmony and the end product is that you run fantastically well. (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman)

# Letting go of the past can be truly liberating. In a speech at the UN, former U.S. president Bill Clinton recalled a question he once asked Nelson Mandela: “Tell me the truth: when you were walking down the road that last time [as Mandela was released from prison], didn’t you hate them?” Mandela replied: “I did. I am old enough to tell the truth. I felt hatred and fear but I said to myself, if you hate them when you get in that car, you will still be their prisoner. I wanted to be free and so I let it go.” (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman)

# Winston Churchill once quipped, “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” He went on to say, “I am an optimist. It does not seem much use being anything else.” (Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman)

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# Book: Getting to Yes (Roger Fisher, William Ury)

An old Chinese proverb counsels: “That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.”

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Generally speaking, the left side of our brain is responsible for language, logic, judgment, and a sense of time, the tools we need to navigate our daily lives. “Our left brain thinks linearly, creates and understands language, defines the boundaries of where we begin and where we end, judges what is right and wrong and is a master of details, details and more details about those details... It focuses on our differences and specializes in critical judgment of those unlike ourselves...” Taylor writes. This is the side of Taylor’s brain that was affected during her stroke.

If the left side of the brain is responsible for our sense that we are separate and different from others, the right side gives us a sense of connection to life and to others. “Our right mind focuses on our similarities, the present moment, inflection of voice, and the bigger picture of how we are all connected. Because it focuses on our similarities... [our right brain] is compassionate, expansive, open, and supportive of others,” Taylor writes.

Clearly, we need our left brain to help us navigate in the world and to protect us against life’s dangers. The left brain is essential. But we also need our right brain to feel the kind of connection and contentment that Taylor experienced when she had her stroke. The right brain perspective helps us answer Einstein’s question in the affirmative: life is ultimately on our side.

Because modern life, with all its activities and distractions, conflicts and negotiations, draws far more on our left brain, it helps to have a daily practice to develop our right brain capacity. Every day we can choose to spend some time on our “inner mountaintop” — through a walk in the park, a period of sitting in silence, or a time for meditation or prayer. We can contemplate or create a piece of art, or we can listen to or play a piece of beautiful music. By engaging in such activities, Taylor writes, we are creating neural pathways back to the right side of the brain, which grow stronger every time they are used. Then, when we happen to face a difficult conversation or negotiation, we may find it easier to access the right brain and remember our sense of connection.

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In my work as a mediator, I have found that one of the most effective negotiating strategies is to look for creative ways to “expand the pie” before dividing it up. For example, the two departments could explore ways in which, through greater cooperation, they could increase sales and justify an increase in the budget for both. Or the children could find some ice cream to add to the cake so there is more for both. There may be limits to tangible resources, but there are few limits to human creativity. I have observed hundreds of negotiations in which both parties were able to create more value for each other through such creativity.

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Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert likes to challenge his audiences by asking a question about happiness: “Who is likely to be happier: someone who wins millions of dollars in the lottery or someone who loses both their legs?” Everyone believes the answer is obvious — but it is not. The astonishing answer from the research is that, after a year passes, the lotto winners and the amputees are about as equally happy as they were before the event.

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She could either lament the unfairness of life or she could practice gratitude — gratitude for Gabi’s life and her recovery and the lessons that came with it. Lizanne chose gratitude.

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There is an old saying that when you point your finger at someone, three fingers point back at you. It is not about blaming yourself, but
simply realizing that you have a part in the relationship and the problem.

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The more we need another person to satisfy our needs, the more power that individual has over us, the more dependent and needy we are likely to behave.

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In the end, each of us must answer the question “Who is responsible for meeting my core psychological needs?” If we answer, “someone else,” we will give our power away to them. But, if we answer, “ourselves,” we can reclaim the power to change our life and our future.

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With the help of a friend who was a therapist, we first learned to put ourselves in our shoes. Both Lizanne and I have a tendency to act strong and to skirt the places of inner pain. But, as we went first to the balcony and then listened to ourselves, we let ourselves feel our emotions of fear, dread, anxiety, guilt, shame, and anger, emotions that I at least had numbed. We learned to give ourselves and each other empathy and compassion, especially when facing a difficult and dangerous surgery. We found that by deliberately facing our pain, imagining our worst fears of losing Gabi, entering the fear rather than steering around it, we were able to go through it and ultimately experience emotional relief and healing. Although every protective instinct urged us to go around the pain, the key lesson we learned is that the way forward is through.

The work of self-understanding helped us to take responsibility for our circumstances. We learned to accept life the way it was, not to resist it or to lose time and energy wishing it were different. We took response-ability and sought to do the best we could to help Gabi, the family, and ourselves. We looked for every occasion to lead a normal, healthy family life with lots of laughter and love. We treated Gabi like her brothers and encouraged her to live life as fully as possible, going out for sports she liked, even if they were more challenging for her given her physical condition. Here Gabi was our best teacher since she never saw herself as a victim, never indulged in self-pity, but sought to make each day fun for herself. Although we would never have voluntarily chosen such an ordeal for Gabi and for us, we said yes to the situation rather than no. In this way, we took back our life, our initiative, and our power to change the situation for the better.

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In the wake of World War II and the advent of the atomic bomb, Albert Einstein posed what he believed was the most important question for each of us: “Is the universe a friendly place?” “This,” Einstein declared, “is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.”
Einstein reasoned that, if we see the universe as basically hostile, we will naturally treat others as enemies. On the collective level, we will arm ourselves to the teeth and react at the first provocation. Given the weapons of mass destruction at our disposal, we will eventually destroy ourselves as well as all life on Earth. If we see the universe as friendly, however, we are more likely to treat others as potential partners. We are thus more likely to get to yes with others, beginning with those closest to us at home, at work, and in the community—and then extending the process out to humanity itself. In other words, the answer we give to this all-important question is self-confirming. Depending on our response, we will behave differently and our interactions will likely have diametrically different outcomes.

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As Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, once noted: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I
change.”

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I saw too many people give away their last morsel of food, their last sip of water to others in need to know that no one can take away the last of our human freedoms—the freedom to choose our own way, in whatever the circumstances. —DR. VIKTOR FRANKL, MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING, ON HIS EXPERIENCES IN NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMPS

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Perhaps no one has expressed the truth of our power to choose more vividly than Dr. Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning, his wrenching and poignant account of his own experiences as an inmate for three years in Auschwitz, Dachau, and other Nazi concentration camps. As he learned in the hardest way, even when we are utterly deprived of freedom, we remain free in the end to give our experience the meaning that we choose. In the midst of unimaginable suffering, he chose to take responsibility for his life and his experience. He reached out and helped people in need, giving them solace and whatever little nourishment he could spare. In a situation where seemingly he had no power, he reclaimed the power to govern his own life. Taking responsibility for our lives may seem heavy at times, but in fact it can be liberating. It can free up enormous energies that have long been trapped in the drama of blaming others as well as ourselves. It is the blame game, the absence of responsibility, which keeps us imprisoned as victims. The moment we recognize that we are in a prison of our own making, the walls begin to crumble and we are free. By owning our lives, we can start living them to the full.

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It is so tempting to blame those with whom we are in conflict. Who started the argument, after all, if it wasn’t the other person? Blaming makes us feel innocent. We are the ones who were wronged. We get to feel righteous and even superior. And blaming also nicely deflects any residual guilt we might feel. The emotional benefits are clear.

The opposite of the blame game is to take responsibility. By responsibility, I mean “response-ability”—the ability to respond constructively to a situation facing us, treating it as ours to handle. That is what James Burke and his colleagues at Johnson and Johnson did. No matter how challenging or costly it might be, taking responsibility, they knew, lies at the heart of genuine leadership. And the rewards were great: taking responsibility made it possible to get to a yes in the form of restored confidence with doctors, nurses, patients, and other stakeholders.

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When my friend Jerry White was a college student studying abroad in Jerusalem, he went on a camping trip in the Golan Heights and stepped on a land mine left behind from the Six-Day War. He lost his leg—and almost his life. As he lay in bed in a hospital for months on end, with alternating feelings of grief, anger, bitterness, and self-pity, a soldier lying in a bed next to him said: “Jerry, this will be the worst thing that ever happened to you or the best thing. You decide.”
Jerry took the soldier’s advice and chose not to settle into the role of a victim blaming others and life itself for his difficulties. Instead Jerry chose to take responsibility for his life and to change his circumstances. “I didn’t like that image of myself—bitter, whiny Jerry who let a bad thing take over the rest of his life,” Jerry wrote in his inspiring book I Will Not Be Broken. “There is a life to be lived—my life—and if I had to hop, roll, or whatever, I was going to get back to it.” In effect, Jerry said yes to himself and his life. It was not always easy for him, of course, but Jerry responded to his accident by giving his life to service. Eventually he cofounded Survivor Corps, a global network of land-mine survivors who help victims of war and terror, which played a leading role in the Nobel Prize–winning International Campaign to Ban Landmines. From there, Jerry went into public service, working on resolving conflicts around the world. Getting to yes with himself helped him get to yes with others—and indeed his lifework turned to helping entire societies get to yes.

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Benjamin Franklin, known as a highly practical and scientific man, reflected in Poor Richard’s Almanack more than two and a half centuries ago, “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” His advice was: “Observe all men; thyself most.”

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When we react, we typically fall into what I call the “3A trap”: we attack, we accommodate (in other words, give in), or we avoid altogether, which often only makes the problem grow.

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But we have a choice. We don’t need to react. We can learn to observe ourselves instead. In my teaching and writing, I emphasize the concept of going to the balcony. The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe our selves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation.

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My friend Donna even likes to give humorous names to her reactive emotions such as “Freddy Fear,” “Judge Judy,” and “Anger Annie.” (Humor, incidentally, can be a great ally in helping you regain perspective from the balcony.)

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As Charlotte realizes, self-observation is the foundation of self-mastery. Try this yourself if you like. Investigate the feelings and reactive patterns that are triggered in you by a problematic relationship at home or at work. Notice the anger, fear, and other disturbing emotions that arise in you as you interact with the other person. Like Charlotte, learn to go to the balcony and observe these emotions and how they make you feel. See if you can spot your own crossroads, the moment in which you can choose between an impulsive reaction and a considered response that advances your true interests. To develop a habit of self-observation, it helps to cultivate your inner scientist. You are the investigator, and the subject of your investigation is yourself. Psychologists even have a name for this: they call it “me-search.” Approaching your thoughts and feelings with a spirit of inquiry—as Charlotte does when she examines the feelings triggered by her son’s behavior—will help you keep your balance and calm. Mastering the skill of observation requires, moreover, that, like a good scientist, you observe the phenomenon with detachment and an open mind. It requires that you suspend self-judgment to the extent possible.

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One way to train yourself to observe without judgment is to reserve a period of time once a day—it could be as little as five or ten minutes—to sit quietly in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and simply watch your passing thoughts and feelings, almost as if the sky were observing the passing clouds. If you get caught up in a thought or feeling, or even if a harsh selfjudgment shows up, treat it as perfectly fine. Simply notice that you were caught up and go back to observing. The more you engage in this exercise of mindfulness, the easier it becomes. Bit by bit, you familiarize yourself with the workings of your mind.

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Imagine a glass of water that you have just filled from the faucet. It is full of fizz and you cannot see through it. If you wait a moment and let the water settle, however, the bubbles slowly dissipate and the water turns crystal clear. That is what we are trying to do here with our minds: to let the fizz settle so we can see clearly what is happening inside ourselves. Before a challenging phone call or meeting, I find benefit in taking even a single minute of silence to myself. One minute alone with my eyes closed helps me to observe my thoughts, feelings, and sensations and to quiet my mind so I can focus better in the conversation. It is an easy technique available to us at any time.

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Psychologists have estimated that we have anywhere between twelve thousand and sixty thousand thoughts a day. The majority of those—as high as 80 percent —are thought to be negative: obsessing about mistakes, battling guilt, or thinking about inadequacies. For some, the harsh critical voice of our inner judge is stronger, for others weaker, but perhaps no one escapes it. “You said the wrong thing!” “How could you have been so blind?” “You did a terrible job!” Each negative thought is a no to yourself. There is a saying that goes, “If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you wouldn’t have any.”

Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.

Empathy is often confused with sympathy, but it is different. Sympathy means “to feel with.” It means to feel sorry for a person’s predicament, but without necessarily understanding it. Empathy, in contrast, means “to feel into.” It means to understand what it is like to be in that situation.

Listening to yourself with empathy goes one level deeper than observing. To observe is to see from the outside, whereas to listen is to feel from the inside. Observing offers you a detached view, whereas listening gives you an intimate understanding. Observation gives us the understanding of a scientist studying what a beetle looks like under a microscope, whereas listening gives you the understanding of what it feels like to be a beetle. You can benefit from both modalities together. Anthropologists have found that the best way to understand a foreign culture is to participate in it actively and at the same time to maintain an outside observer’s perspective. I find this method, called participant observation, is equally useful when it comes to understanding ourselves.

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Keep in mind that listening is not just an intellectual exercise but an emotional and physical one as well. For example, when you are afraid, try to feel the fear in your body. What does it feel like? Icy? Does it feel like a pit in your stomach? Does your throat feel parched? Recognize its familiar feeling and just stay with it for a moment without pushing it away. Try to relax and feel your way into the fear. Breathe into it if you can. That way, you can slowly begin to release it. If this kind of deeper listening to yourself seems awkward or too
challenging, consider asking a friend—or even a professional counselor or therapist—to listen to you until you are able to make a habit of listening to yourself. Or consider keeping a daily journal. I find that writing down my feelings and thoughts, even if only for a few minutes, keeps me on the balcony and helps me uncover patterns that I would not see in the rush of life. Try it out and you will begin to see and listen to yourself more clearly and understand yourself better.

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In negotiation, the magic question to uncover your true interests and needs is: “Why?” “Why do I want this?” One valuable practice is to keep asking yourself why—as many times as necessary—until you get down to your bedrock need.

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Among our basic psychological needs, two universal ones stand out in particular. One is protection, or safety, which promises the absence of pain. Another is connection, or love, which promises the presence of pleasure. How can we protect and connect? Since life is, by nature, insecure and since love often feels insufficient, it is not always easy for us to meet these needs fully. But we can begin the process.

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Three actions can help. First, see yourself from the “balcony.” Second, go deeper and listen with empathy to your underlying feelings for what they are really telling you. Third, go even deeper and uncover your underlying needs.

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As President Theodore Roosevelt once colorfully observed, “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

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Respect Them Even If. It is tempting to meet rejection with rejection, personal attack with personal attack, exclusion with exclusion. The challenge is to surprise others with respect and inclusion even if they are difficult.

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Let him who would move the world first move himself. —SOCRATES

Some people play tennis all their lives, but never get better. Those people are not willing to take a fresh look at what they do or to consider changing it. Good players recognize that getting better often means making an investment in new approaches. For a while they may get worse, as they wrestle with new and unfamiliar techniques, but eventually they surpass their old plateau. The new techniques offer more long-term potential. You need to do the same with negotiation.

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In many ways, negotiation is like athletics: Some people have more natural talent, and like the best athletes, they may gain the most from preparation, practice, and coaching. Yet those with less natural talent have more need for preparation, practice, and feedback, and much to gain by it. Whichever you are, there is much to learn and hard work will pay off. It is up to you.

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Negotiation power is the ability to persuade someone to do something. The United States is rich and has lots of nuclear bombs, but neither has been of much help in deterring terrorist actions or freeing hostages when they have been held in places like Beirut. Whether your resources give you negotiating power will depend on the context — on who you are trying to persuade, and what you want them to do.

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Don't ask, "Who's more powerful?" Trying to estimate whether you or your counterparts are more "powerful" is risky. If you
conclude that you are more powerful, you may relax and not prepare as well as you should. On
the other hand, if you conclude that you are weaker than the other side, there is a risk that you
will be discouraged and again not devote sufficient attention to how you might persuade the other side.

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The best rule of thumb is to be optimistic — to let your reach exceed your grasp. Without wasting a lot of resources on hopeless causes, recognize that many things are worth trying for even if you may not succeed. The more you try for, the more you are likely to get. Studies of negotiation consistently show a strong correlation between aspiration and result. Within reason, it pays to think positively.

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John F. Kennedy was justly famous for his skill at the first of these, crafting a forceful message: "Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate."

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Consider the sealed-bid stamp auction. The auctioneer would like bidders to offer the most they might conceivably be willing to pay for the stamps in question. Each potential buyer, however, does not want to pay more than necessary. In a regular sealed-bid auction each bidder tries to offer slightly more than their best guess of what others will bid, which is often less than the bidder would be willing to pay. But in a stamp auction the rules are that the highest bidder gets the stamps at the price of the second highest bid. Buyers can safely bid exactly as much as they would be willing to pay to get the stamps, because the auctioneer guarantees that they will not have to pay it! No bidder is left wishing that he or she had bid more, and the high bidder is happy to pay less than was offered. The auctioneer is pappy knowing that the difference between the highest and second highest bids is usually smaller than the overall increase in the level of bids under this system versus a regular sealed-bid auction.

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You are likely to maximize your negotiation power if you believe what you say and say what you believe.

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Ask questions and pause. Those engaged in negotiation jujitsu use two key tools. 

The first is to use questions instead of statements. Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers. Questions allow the other side to get their points across and let you understand them. They pose challenges and can be used to lead the other side to confront the problem. Questions offer them no target to strike at, no position to attack. Questions do not criticize, they educate. "Do you think it would be better to have teachers cooperating in a process they felt they were participating in, or actively resisting one they felt was imposed on them and failed to take their concerns into account?"

Silence is one of your best weapons. Use it. If they have made an unreasonable proposal or an attack you regard as unjustified, the best thing to do may be to sit there and not say a word.

If you have asked an honest question to which they have provided an insufficient answer, just wait. People tend to feel uncomfortable with silence, particularly if they have doubts about the merits of something they have said.

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No book on gardening can teach you to grow lilies in a desert or cactus in a swamp.

If you enter an antique store to buy a sterling silver George IV tea set worth thousands of dollars and all you have is one hundred-dollar bill, you should not expect skillful negotiation to overcome the difference.


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Book: Essays of Warren Buffett - Lessons for corporate America

Through our policies and communications-our "advertisements"- we try to attract investors who will understand our operations, attitudes and expectations. (And, fully as important, we try to dissuade those who won't.) We want those who think of themselves as business owners and invest in companies with the intention of staying a long time. And, we want those who keep their eyes focused on business results, not market prices.

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Beware of past-performance "proofs" in finance: If history books were the key to riches, the Forbes 400 would consist of librarians.

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Unfortunately, Bertrand Russell's observation about life in general applies with unusual force in the financial world: "Most men would rather die than think. Many do."

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Thomas J. Watson Sr. of IBM followed the same rule: "I'm no genius," he said. "I'm smart in spots-but I stay around those spots."

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After ending our corporate marriage to Hochschild, Kohn, I had memories like those of the husband in the country song, "My Wife Ran Away With My Best Friend and I Still Miss Him a Lot."

I could give you other personal examples of "bargainpurchase" folly but I'm sure you get the picture: It's far better to buy a wonderful company at a fair price than a fair company at a wonderful price. Charlie understood this early; I was a slow learner. But now, when buying companies or common stocks, we look for first-class businesses accompanied by first-class managements.

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To invest successfully, you need not understand beta, efficient markets, modern portfolio theory, option pricing, or emerging markets. You may, in fact, be better off knowing nothing of these.

That, of course, is not the prevailing view at most business schools, whose finance curriculum tends to be dominated by such subjects. In our view, though, investment students need only two well-taught courses: How to Value a Business, and How to Think About Market Prices.

Your goal as an investor should simply be to purchase, at a rational price, a part interest in an easily-understandable business whose earnings are virtually certain to be materially higher five, ten and twenty years from now. Over time, you will find only a few companies that meet these standards-so when you see one that qualifies, you should buy a meaningful amount of stock. You must also resist the temptation to stray from your guidelines: If you aren't willing to own a stock for ten years, don't even think about owning it for ten minutes. Put together a portfolio of companies whose aggregate earnings march upward over the years, and so also will the portfolio's market value.

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A far more serious problem occurs when the management of a great company gets sidetracked and neglects its wonderful base business while purchasing other businesses that are so-so or worse. When that happens, the suffering of investors is often prolonged. Unfortunately, that is precisely what transpired years ago at both Coke and Gillette. (Would you believe that a few decades back they were growing shrimp at Coke and exploring for oil at Gillette?) Loss of focus is what most worries Charlie and me when we contemplate investing in businesses that in general look outstanding. All too often, we've seen value stagnate in the presence of hubris or of boredom that caused the attention of managers to wander. That's not going to happen again at Coke and Gillette, however - not given their current and prospective managements.

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I would say that the controlled company offers two main advantages. First, when we control a company we get to allocate capital, whereas we are likely to have little or nothing to say about this process with marketable holdings. This point can be important because the heads of many companies are not skilled in capital allocation. Their inadequacy is not surprising. Most bosses rise to the top because they have excelled in an area such as marketing, production, engineering, administration-or, sometimes, institutional politics.

Once they become CEOs, they face new responsibilities. They now must make capital allocation decisions, a critical job that they may have never tackled and that is not easily mastered. To stretch the point, it's as if the final step for a highly-talented musician was not to perform at Carnegie Hall but, instead, to be named Chairman of the Federal Reserve.

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And since finding great businesses and outstanding managers is so difficult, why should we discard proven products? (I was tempted to say "the real thing.") Our motto is: "If at first you do succeed, quit trying."

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Let me add a lesson from history: Coke went public in 1919 at $40 per share. By the end of 1920 the market, coldly reevaluating Coke's future prospects, had battered the stock down by more than 50%, to $19.50. At yearend 1993, that single share, with dividends reinvested, was worth more than $2.1 million. As Ben Graham said: "In the short-run, the market is a voting machine-reflecting a voter-registration test that requires only money, not intelligence or emotional stability-but in the long-run, the market is a weighing machine."

...

Berkshire's arbitrage activities differ from those of many arbitrageurs. First, we participate in only a few, and usually very large, transactions each year. Most practitioners buy into a great many deals-perhaps 50 or more per year. With that many irons in the fire, they must spend most of their time monitoring both the progress of deals and the market movements of the related stocks. This is not how Charlie nor I wish to spend our lives. (What's the sense in getting rich just to stare at a ticker tape all day?)

...

As Ben said: "In the short run, the market is a voting machine but in the long run it is a weighing machine."

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Many of our businesses, both those we own in whole and in part, possess such franchises. Consequently, reductions in their taxes largely end up in our pockets rather than the pockets of our customers. While this may be impolitic to state, it is impossible to deny. If you are tempted to believe otherwise, think for a moment of the most able brain surgeon or lawyer in your area. Do you really expect the fees of this expert (the local "franchise-holder" in his or her specialty) to be reduced now that the top personal tax rate is being cut from 50% to 28%?

...

Through my favorite comic strip, Li'l Abner, I got a chance during my youth to see the benefits of delayed taxes, though I missed the lesson at the time. Making his readers feel superior, Li'l Abner bungled happily, but moronically, through life in Dogpatch. At one point he became infatuated with a New York temptress, Appassionatta Van Climax, but despaired of marrying her because he had only a single silver dollar and she was interested solely in millionaires. Dejected, Abner took his problem to Old Man Mose, the font of all knowledge in Dogpatch. Said the sage: Double your money 20 times and Appassionatta will be yours (1, 2, 4, 8 .... 1,048,576).

My last memory of the strip is Abner entering a roadhouse, dropping his dollar into a slot machine, and hitting a jackpot that spilled money all over the floor. Meticulously following Mose's advice, Abner picked up two dollars and went off to find his next double. Whereupon I dumped Abner and began reading Ben Graham.

Mose clearly was overrated as a guru: Besides failing to anticipate Abner's slavish obedience to instructions, he also forgot about taxes. Had Abner been subject, say, to the 35% federal tax rate that Berkshire pays, and had he managed one double annually, he would after 20 years only have accumulated $22,370. Indeed, had he kept on both getting his annual doubles and paying a 35% tax on each, he would have needed 7½ years more to reach the $1 million required to win Appassionatta.

But what if Abner had instead put his dollar in a single investment and held it until it doubled the same 271h times? In that case, he would have realized about $200 million pre-tax or, after paying a $70 million tax in the final year, about $130 million after-tax. For that, Appassionatta would have crawled to Dogpatch. Of course, with 271h years having passed, how Appassionatta would have looked to a fellow sitting on $130 million is another question.

What this little tale tells us is that tax-paying investors will realize a far, far greater sum from a single investment that compounds internally at a given rate than from a succession of investments compounding at the same rate. But I suspect many Berkshire shareholders figured that out long ago.

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1. As Charlie regularly reminds me, "If something is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well".

2. Fear is the foe of the faddist, but the friend of the fundamentalist.

3. Casey Stengel described managing a baseball team as "getting paid for home runs other fellows hit." That's my formula at Berkshire, also.

4. As for the allocation of capital, that's an activity both Charlie and I enjoy and in which we have acquired some useful experience. In a general sense, grey hair doesn't hurt on this playing field: You don't need good hand-eye coordination or well-toned muscles to push money around (thank heavens). As long as our minds continue to function effectively, Charlie and I can keep on doing our jobs pretty much as we have in the past.

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We will try to avoid policies that attract buyers with a shortterm focus on our stock price and try to allow policies that attract informed long-term investors focusing on business values.

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A hyperactive stock market is the pickpocket of enterprise.

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In addition, investment management fees of over $2 billion annually-sums paid for chair-changing advice-require the forfeiture by investors of all earnings of the five largest banking organizations (Citicorp, Bank America, Chase Manhattan, Manufacturers Hanover and J.P. Morgan). These expensive activities may decide who eats the pie, but they don't enlarge it.

...

I did not discourage these people because I prefer large investors over small. Were it possible, Charlie and I would love to turn $1,000 into $3,000 for multitudes of people who would find that gain an important answer to their immediate problems. In order to quickly triple small stakes, however, we would have to just as quickly turn our present market capitalization of $43 billion into $129 billion (roughly the market cap of General Electric, America's most highly valued company). We can't come close to doing that. The very best we hope for is-on average-to
double Berkshire's per-share intrinsic value every five years, and we may well fall far short of that goal.

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In the securities business, whatever can be sold will be sold.

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Practice doesn't make perfect; practice makes permanent.

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However, we suspect three motivations-usually unspokento be, singly or in combination, the important ones in most highpremium takeovers:

(1) Leaders, business or otherwise, seldom are deficient in animal spirits and often relish increased activity and challenge. At Berkshire, the corporate pulse never beats faster than when an acquisition is in prospect.

(2) Most organizations, business or otherwise, measure themselves, are measured by others, and compensate their managers far more by the yardstick of size than by any other yardstick. (Ask a Fortune 500 manager where his corporation stands on that famous list and, invariably, the number responded will be from the list ranked by size of sales; he may well not even know where his corporation places on the list Fortune just as faithfully compiles ranking the same 500 corporations by profitability.)

(3) Many managements apparently were overexposed in impressionable childhood years to the story in which the imprisoned handsome prince is released from a toad's body by a kiss from a beautiful princess. Consequently, they are certain their managerial kiss will do wonders for the profitability of Company T(arget).

Such optimism is essentiaL Absent that rosy view, why else should the shareholders of Company A(cquisitor) want to own an interest in T at the 2X takeover cost rather than at the X market price they would pay if they made direct purchases on their own?

In other words, investors can always buy toads at the going price for toads. If investors instead bankroll princesses who wish to pay double for the right to kiss the toad, those kisses had better pack some real dynamite. We've observed many kisses but very few miracles.

Nevertheless, many managerial princesses remain serenely confident about the future potency of their kisses-even after their corporate backyards are knee-deep in unresponsive toads. In fairness, we should acknowledge that some acquisition records have been dazzling. Two major categories stand out.

The first involves companies that, through design or accident, have purchased only businesses that are particularly well adapted to an inflationary environment. Such favored business must have two characteristics: 

(1) an ability to increase prices rather easily (even when product demand is flat and capacity is not fully utilized) without fear of significant loss of either market share or unit volume, and 

(2) an ability to accommodate large dollar volume increases in business (often produced more by inflation than by real growth) with only minor additional investment of capital. Managers of ordinary ability, focusing solely on acquisition possibilities meeting these tests, have achieved excellent results in recent decades. However, very few enterprises possess both characteristics, and competition to buy those that do has now become fierce to the point of being self-defeating.

The second category involves the managerial superstars-men who can recognize that rare prince who is disguised as a toad, and  who have managerial abilities that enable them to peel away the disguise. We salute such managers as Ben Heineman at Northwest Industries, Henry Singleton at Teledyne, Erwin Zaban at National Service Industries, and especially Tom Murphy at Capital Cities Communications (a real managerial "twofer", whose acquisition efforts have been properly focused in Category 1 and whose operating talents also make him a leader of Category (2). From both direct and vicarious experience, we recognize the difficulty and rarity of these executives' achievements. (So do they; these champs have made very few deals in recent years, and often have found repurchase of their own shares to be the most sensible employment of corporate capital.)
Your Chairman, unfortunately, does not qualify for Category 2. And, despite a reasonably good understanding of the economic factors compelling concentration in Category 1, our actual acquisition activity in that category has been sporadic and inadequate. Our preaching was better than our performance. (We neglected the Noah principle: predicting rain doesn't count, building arks does.)
We have tried occasionally to buy toads at bargain prices with results that have been chronicled in past reports. Clearly our kisses fell flat. We have done well with a couple of princes-but they were princes when purchased. At least our kisses didn't turn them into toads. And, finally, we have occasionally been quite successful in purchasing fractional interests in easily-identifiable princes at toad-like prices.

# Winston Churchill once said that "eating my words has never given me indigestion." 

# We don't understand the CEO who wants lots of stock activity, for that can be achieved only if many of his owners are constantly exiting. At what other organization-school, club, church, etc.-do leaders cheer when members leave?

# For every dollar retained by the corporation, at least one dollar of market value will be created for owners.

# [Again, if] history supplied all of the answers, the Forbes 400 would consist of librarians.

# In another context, a friend once asked me: "If you're so rich, why aren't you smart?" After reviewing my sorry performance with USAir, you may conclude he had a point.

# When Richard Branson, the wealthy owner of Virgin Atlantic Airways, was asked how to become a millionaire, he had a quick answer: "There's really nothing to it. Start as a billionaire and then buy an airline."

# If you want to be a Millionaire, start with a billion dollars and launch a new airline. Quoted by P. Greenberg, “Why JetBlue will be different,” MSNBC as cited in Gittell and O’Reilly (October, 2001) Harvard Business School Press Reprint No. 9-801-354 [citation needed]

# Many "alignment" plans flunk this basic test, being artful forms of "heads I win, tails you lose."

# These managers therefore truly stand in the shoes of owners. In contrast, most managers talk the talk but don't walk the walk.

# When investing, we view ourselves as business analysts-not as market analysts, not as macroeconomic analysts, and not even as security analysts.

# The situation is suggestive of Samuel Johnson's horse: "A horse that can count to ten is a remarkable horse - not a remarkable mathematician."

# We will try to avoid policies that attract buyers with a shortterm focus on our stock price and try to allow policies that attract informed long-term investors focusing on business values. Just as you purchased your Berkshire shares in a market populated by rational informed investors, you deserve a chance to sell-should you ever want to-in the same kind of market. We will work to keep it in existence. One of the ironies of the stock market is the emphasis on activity. Brokers, using terms such as "marketability" and "liquidity", sing the praises of companies with high share turnover (those who cannot fill your pocket will confidently fill your ear). But investors should understand that what is good for the croupier is not good for the customer. A hyperactive stock market is the pickpocket of enterprise.

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Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.

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Our approach, rather, has been to follow Wayne Gretzky's advice: "Go to where the puck is going to be, not to where it is." As a result, our shareholders are now many billions of dollars richer than they would have been if we had used the standard catechism.

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But often the CEO asks a strategic planning staff, consultants or investment bankers whether an acquisition or two might make sense. That's like asking your interior decorator whether you need a $50,000 rug.

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Was Ben Franklin right when he included the following folk wisdom in Poor Richard's Almanac: "It is hard for an empty sack to stand upright."

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To Wesco, as a non-LBO operator, the good-corporate-acquisition game was always tough. And that game in each recent year has become more like fishing for muskies at Leech Lake, in Minnesota, where the writer's earliest business partner, Ed Hoskins, had the following conversation with his Indian guide:
"Are any muskies caught in this lake?"
"More muskies are caught in this lake than in any other lake
in Minnesota. This lake is famous for muskies."
"How long have you been fishing here?"
"19 years."
"And how many muskies have you caught?"
"None."
When a management has our point of view, infrequency of business acquisition may safely be predicted.

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In any case, why potential buyers even look at projections prepared by sellers baffles me. Charlie and I never give them a glance, but instead keep in mind the story of the man with an ailing horse.
Visiting the vet, he said: "Can you help me? Sometimes my horse walks just fine and sometimes he limps." The vet's reply was pointed: "No problem - when he's walking fine, sell him." In the world of mergers and acquisitions, that horse would be peddled as Secretariat.

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In addition to the foregoing being an explanation of our acquisition style, it is, of course, a not-so-subtle sales pitch. If you own or represent a business earning $25 million or more before tax, and it fits the criteria [set forth below], just give me a call. Our discussion will be confidential. And if you aren't interested now, file our proposition in the back of your mind: We are never going to lose our appetite for buying companies with good economics and excellent management.

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Charlie and I frequently get approached about acquisitions that don't come close to meeting our tests: We've found that if you advertise an interest in buying collies, a lot of people will call hoping to sell you their cocker spaniels. A line from a country song expresses our feeling about new ventures, turnarounds, or auctionlike sales: "When the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me."

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If the sole motive of the present owners is to cash their chips and put the business behind them-and plenty of sellers fall in this category-either type of buyer that I've just described is satisfactory. But if the sellers' business represents the creative work of a lifetime and forms an integral part of their personality and sense of being, buyers of either type have serious flaws. Berkshire is another kind of buyer-a rather unusual one. We buy to keep, but we don't have, and don't expect to have, operating people in our parent organization. All of the businesses we own are run autonomously to an extraordinary degree. In most cases, the managers of important businesses we have owned for many years have not been to Omaha or even met each other. When we buy a business, the sellers go on running it just as they did before the sale; we adapt to their methods rather than vice versa.

...

The areas I get involved in are capital allocation and selection and compensation of the top man. Other personnel decisions, operating strategies, etc. are his bailiwick. Some Berkshire managers talk over some of their decisions with me; some don't. It depends
upon their personalities and, to an extent, upon their own personal relationship with me.

If you should decide to do business with Berkshire, we would pay in cash. Your business would not be used as collateral for any loan by Berkshire. There would be no brokers involved.

...

It's only fair to tell you that you would be no richer after the sale than now. The ownership of your business already makes you wealthy and soundly invested. A sale would change the form of your wealth, but it wouldn't change its amount. If you sell, you will have exchanged a 100%-owned valuable asset that you understand for another valuable asset-cash-that will probably be invested in small pieces (stocks) of other businesses that you understand less well. There is often a sound reason to sell but, if the transaction is a fair one, the reason is not so that the seller can become wealthier.

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The value to Berkshire Hathaway of retained earnings is not determined by whether we own 100%, 50%, 20% or 1% of the businesses in which they reside. Rather, the value ofthose retained earnings is determined by the use to which they are put and the subsequent level of earnings produced by that usage.

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We agree with Keynes's observation: "I would rather be vaguely right than precisely wrong."

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Charlie and I would be lost without these numbers: they invariably are the starting point for us in evaluating our own businesses and those of others. Managers and owners need to remember, however, that accounting is but an aid to business thinking, never a substitute for it.

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Ben Graham told a story 40 years ago that illustrates why investment professionals behave as they do: An oil prospector, moving to his heavenly reward, was met by St. Peter with bad news. "You're qualified for residence", said St. Peter, "but, as you can see, the compound reserved for oil men is packed. There's no way to squeeze you in." After thinking a moment, the prospector asked if he might say just four words to the present occupants. That seemed harmless to St. Peter, so the prospector cupped his hands and yelled, "Oil discovered in hell." Immediately the gate to the compound opened and all of the oil men marched out to head for the nether regions. Impressed, St. Peter invited the prospector to move in and make himself comfortable. The prospector paused. "No," he said, "I think I'll go along with the rest of the boys. There might be some truth to that rumor after all."

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Further complicating the problem is the fact that many managements view GAAP not as a standard to be met, but as an obstacle to overcome. Too often their accountants willingly assist them. ("How much," says the client, "is two plus two?" Replies the cooperative accountant, "What number did you have in mind?")

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It has been far safer to steal large sums with a pen than small sums with a gun.

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Considering that, we think it makes little sense for us to give up time with people we know to be interesting and admirable for time with others we do not know and who are likely to have human qualities far closer to average. That would be akin to marrying for money-a mistake under most circumstances, insanity if one is already rich.

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Managers thinking about accounting issues should never forget one of Abraham Lincoln's favorite riddles: "How many legs does a dog have if you call his tail a leg?" The answer: "Four, because calling a tail a leg does not make it a leg." It behooves managers to remember that Abe's right even if an auditor is willing to certify that the tail is a leg.

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50th Law (50 Cent and Robert Greene)

In the months to come, Curtis thought more and more about what Truth had told him, and it began to sink in. He decided to transform the hustler’s words into a kind of code that he would live by: he would trust no one; he would conceal his intentions, even from friends and partners; and no matter how high or low life brought him, he would remain the supreme realist, keeping his hustler’s eye sharp and focused.

....

When you operate this way, you will notice that something strange often happens. Opportunities will begin to fall into your lap because you are suddenly more receptive to them. Sometimes luck or serendipity is more a function of the openness of your mind.

....

When you do not get to the root of a problem, you cannot solve it in any meaningful manner. People like to look at the surfaces, get all emotional and react, doing things that make them feel better in the short term but do nothing for them in the long term.

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It wasn’t just the money; it was the thrill that came in flirting with so much danger.

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MOST PEOPLE CAN’T HANDLE BOREDOM. THAT MEANS THEY CAN’T STAY ON ONE THING UNTIL THEY GET GOOD AT IT. AND THEY WONDER WHY THEY’RE UNHAPPY. —50 Cent

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ALL OF MAN’S TROUBLES COME FROM NOT KNOWING HOW TO SIT STILL, ALONE IN A ROOM. —Blaise Pascal

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NOW THERE ARE INDIVIDUALS WHO WOULD RATHER PERISH THAN WORK WITHOUT TAKING PLEASURE IN THEIR WORK; THEY ARE CHOOSY…AND HAVE NO USE FOR AMPLE REWARDS IF THE WORK IS NOT ITSELF THE REWARD OF REWARDS…. THEY DO NOT FEAR BOREDOM AS MUCH AS WORK WITHOUT PLEASURE; INDEED, THEY NEED A LOT OF BOREDOM IF THEIR WORK IS TO SUCCEED. FOR ALL INVENTIVE SPIRITS, BOREDOM IS THAT DISAGREEABLE “LULL” OF THE SOUL THAT PRECEDES A HAPPY VOYAGE AND CHEERFUL WINDS. —Friedrich Nietzsche

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LET ME POINT OUT TO YOU THAT FREEDOM IS NOT SOMETHING THAT ANYBODY CAN BE GIVEN; FREEDOM IS SOMETHING PEOPLE TAKE AND PEOPLE ARE AS FREE AS THE WANT TO BE. —James Baldwin

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At the root of this turning inward and disconnect is a great fear—one of the most primal known to man, and perhaps the least understood. In the beginning, our primitive ancestors formed groups for protection. To create a sense of cohesion, they established all kinds of codes of behavior, taboos, and shared rituals. They also created myths in which their tribe was considered to be the favorite of the gods, chosen for some great purpose. To be a member of the tribe was to be cleansed by rituals and to be favored by the gods. Those who belonged to other groups had unfamiliar rituals and belief systems—their own gods and origin myths. They were not clean. They represented the Other—something dark, threatening, and a challenge to the tribe’s sense of superiority.

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YOUR OPINION OF YOURSELF BECOMES YOUR REALITY. IF YOU HAVE ALL THESE DOUBTS, THEN NO ONE WILL BELIEVE IN YOU AND EVERYTHING WILL GO WRONG. IF YOU THINK THE OPPOSITE, THE OPPOSITE WILL HAPPEN. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. —50 Cent

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A REALLY INTELLIGENT MAN FEELS WHAT OTHER MEN ONLY KNOW. —Baron de Montesquieu

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The French call an orgasm “le petit mort,” or little death, and the Sublime is a kind of mental orgasm, as the mind becomes flooded with something that is too much or too different.

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