Synopsis
Global banks may cut up to 200,000 jobs in the next three to five years due to AI. Positions in the back office, middle office, and operations are most at risk. Customer services and know-your-customer roles may also change. AI tools are expected to increase productivity and revenue for banks.
Global banks are expected to cut as many as 200,000 jobs in the next three to five years as artificial intelligence encroaches on tasks currently carried out by human workers, according to Bloomberg Intelligence.
Chief information and technology officers surveyed for BI indicated that on average they expect a net 3% of their workforce to be cut, according to a report published Thursday.
Back office, middle office and operations are likely to be most at risk, Tomasz Noetzel, the BI senior analyst who wrote the report, said in a message. Customer services could see changes as bots manage client functions, while know-your-customer duties would also be vulnerable. “Any jobs involving routine, repetitive tasks are at risk,” he said. “But AI will not eliminate them fully, rather it will lead to workforce transformation.”
Nearly a quarter of the 93 respondents predict a steeper decline of between 5% and 10% of total headcount. The peer group covered by BI includes Citigroup Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Goldman Sachs Group Inc.
The findings point to far-reaching changes in the industry, feeding through to improved earnings. In 2027, banks could see pretax profits 12% to 17% higher than they would otherwise have been — adding as much as $180 billion to their combined bottom line — as AI powers an increase in productivity, according to BI. Eight in ten respondents expect generative AI to increase productivity and revenue generation by at least 5% in the next three to five years.
Banks, which have spent years modernizing their IT systems to speed up processes and shave costs in the wake of the financial crisis, have been flocking into the new generation of AI tools that could further improve productivity.
Citi said in a report in June that AI is likely to displace more jobs across the banking industry than in any other sector. About 54% of jobs across banking have a high potential to be automated, Citi said at the time.
Still, many firms have stressed that the shift will result in roles being changed by technology, rather than replaced altogether. Teresa Heitsenrether, who oversees JPMorgan’s AI efforts, said in November that the bank’s adoption of generative AI was so far augmenting jobs.
Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan’s chief executive officer, told Bloomberg Television in 2023 that AI is likely to make dramatic improvement in workers’ quality of life, even if it eliminates some positions. “Your children are going to live to 100 and not have cancer because of technology,” Dimon said at the time. “And literally they’ll probably be working three-and-a-half days a week.”
Ref
Microsoft has announced new performance-based layoffs affecting less than 1% of its global workforce of 228,000 employees. The company’s focus on “high-performance talent” drives these actions, which span multiple departments, including its security division. While layoffs reflect ongoing tech industry trends since 2023, Microsoft’s Chairman Satya Nadella unveiled a large-scale initiative to train 500,000 individuals in rural India in artificial intelligence skills, reinforcing the company’s commitment to innovation and growth.
Microsoft has begun the year with small-scale layoffs across various departments, citing performance as the primary criterion. A spokesperson for the company told CNBC, “At Microsoft, we focus on high-performance talent. We are always working on helping people learn and grow. When people are not performing, we take appropriate action.”
The job cuts, affecting less than 1% of its 228,000 employees, are part of a broad effort to enhance performance management. Business Insider reported that these layoffs also include employees in the security division. According to sources, managers have spent months evaluating staff performance across all levels, including senior positions.
While the company is letting go of underperforming employees, many of the vacated positions may be refilled, ensuring that the overall workforce size remains relatively stable.
This is not Microsoft’s first round of layoffs in recent years. In 2023, the company cut approximately 10,000 jobs, representing about 5% of its workforce. That year, its Xbox gaming division also saw minor job reductions.
In 2024, following the $75.4 billion acquisition of Activision Blizzard, Microsoft dismissed nearly 2,000 employees from its gaming division to eliminate redundancies. Further layoffs during the summer affected its Azure cloud computing unit, initially targeting 1,500 roles, with approximately 1,000 employees ultimately laid off.
The broader tech industry has experienced significant downsizing since 2023, with companies like Google and Microsoft prioritising efficiency and performance amid economic pressures. Although it’s early in 2025, analysts expect such workforce reductions to continue as companies refine their strategies.
AI Skilling Programme for Rural India
Amidst the restructuring, Microsoft is making significant investments in artificial intelligence skill development. During a visit to New Delhi as part of the Microsoft AI Tour, Chairman and CEO Satya Nadella announced a collaborative initiative with India’s Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology (MeitY).
The programme aims to train 500,000 individuals in rural India in artificial intelligence skills. “There’s tremendous progress in AI skilling in India,” Nadella stated, emphasising the country’s vital role in the global AI landscape. This initiative is designed to empower underserved communities by equipping them with cutting-edge technological expertise.
Microsoft’s Strategic Outlook
Despite workforce adjustments, Microsoft remains focused on growth opportunities in artificial intelligence and cloud computing. The company’s partnership with OpenAI, in which it has invested over $13 billion, underscores its ambition in the AI sector. While tensions with OpenAI have emerged, Microsoft’s AI-driven products, such as the Microsoft 365 Copilot assistant, continue to develop and gain traction.
In October 2024, Chief Financial Officer Amy Hood indicated that revenue growth from Microsoft Azure, supported by AI infrastructure, is expected to accelerate in early 2025. These initiatives signal the company’s dual focus on operational efficiency and innovation.
Ref
I always talk to God about everything in my life—whether something happens or not—because every effort I’ve made so far, I’ve done in God’s name, right or wrong. For example, if I’m traveling to Bihar and don’t have a train ticket but still need to go, I just pray, “Oh God, oh Mata Rani, please protect me and let me find a good coach to sit in.” There aren’t always tickets available, and I want to sit in Sleeper class since General is too difficult for me. When I reach the station, I think about which coach I should enter and then focus on God (Durga Ma) for a moment. Whichever coach comes to mind, I stand near that one and sit inside. Somehow, I end up finding a seat and sleep comfortably.
I also want to buy a flat, but there’s no loan in my name. This is my first time dealing with a loan for a flat. Let’s see if God arranges for someone who helps me get a home. God has indeed helped me a lot; He even helped me open a new bank account. Before that, I didn’t have a proper account or papers, not even a correct Aadhaar card. One Aadhaar shows my age as much older (my father-in-law had it made for me), and then I had another one made just so I could get a job, because you can’t list a higher age for certain jobs. That’s how my situation is.
My marriage happened in a similar way. My husband is 10 years older than I am, and he also has some mental health issues. When he couldn’t hold down a job anywhere, I tried everything—astrologers and different pujas—hoping he wouldn’t quit or come home. But ever since we married, that’s been the story: he comes home after leaving every job. After I went out on my own, I took him to see a doctor, which cost me a lot of money in Dharuhera. That’s when I learned he really did have a mental health problem. Then I took him to Bihar, where he took medication for a while. I also showed him to another doctor in Bihar. He’s still taking that medication and doesn’t work—he basically just stays at home, doing whatever little he can, eating and sleeping.
Meanwhile, I keep hoping my children will study and get somewhere in life. Maybe God will help them get a job, and then everything will be fine. With that hope, I work from morning till night. When I first came to Gurgaon, I had no idea where to go or what job I’d find, but I trusted God, thinking He’d make sure things turn out well. And He has—so far, He’s done everything for me. Now I work as a cook. On days when I don’t feel like cooking or going to my job, I just look at my kids’ expenses and wonder where the money will come from. That thought alone keeps me awake, and I head off to work.
I’ve struggled a lot in my life, but I’ve kept my faith in God, and everything has kept moving forward. Now my daughter is in 12th grade and says she wants to take the NEET exam. It makes me nervous. I tell her, “Let’s see how things go. You have just four months before college.” I pray to God, “Oh God, please guide my daughter so she can get a good path and a job quickly.” I want her to do well because I’m ready to start my own business. I’m tired of doing jobs, but I haven’t quit because I don’t want my life to derail. I have a big desire to start a business. A long time ago, I wanted to open a tiffin center because I used to work in a canteen at an NIT college in Bihar. I also slept there. There was a separate snacks section that only I managed and ran. At that time, I really wanted to own something like that myself—it would’ve been so nice. I tried, but there was no support, so I gave up and focused on my job instead.
Now I think that once my daughter moves on from school, I’ll definitely start a business. Right now, I’ve left my company job to do babysitting and cooking, and that’s going well. God is always with me. I met Ashish Jain through God’s grace as well. It’s been almost three years since I got to know him. At first, there was nothing special about him—no big story—but working together brought us closer than family. It’s like if someone asked whom I trust more, my family or Ashish Jain, I’d choose Ashish Jain. I don’t even trust myself as much as I trust him. If Ashish ever needs something from me, I can’t say no. I just figure if he needs it, I’ll give it.
Once, he was in deep trouble and needed money—about three to four months’ worth. He asked everyone for help, and I overheard him. I asked, “What’s going on?” but he didn’t want to tell me, thinking, “What could she do?” I kept asking until he finally said, “Mona, I need three lakhs. I don’t know what to do; no one is helping.” He was really upset. I offered, “I can help,” and he replied, “Do you have that much?” I told him, “Not much, I have one lakh.” He said, “Okay, give it to me, and I’ll return it later.” I said I’d do it, but I was scared—it was my hard-earned money, and I didn’t want it to vanish. I explained my concerns: “If I give you this money, I hope I won’t end up in trouble.” But after thinking it through, I put my faith in God, gave him the money with no written proof, and it worked out fine. Five or six months later, my sister-in-law asked me for financial help. I told Ashish she needed money, but he said, “No, Mona, don’t give it; why would you?” Still, I couldn’t refuse my sister-in-law, so I went ahead and lent her the money. I got it back, too. Now I trust Ashish Jain so much that I even have two lakh rupees with him.
मैं अपने लाइफ़ में कोई काम हो, तो भी भगवान को बोलती हूँ कि वही किए, और ना हो तो भी भगवान को ही बोलती हूँ। क्योंकि आज तक जितने भी मैंने काम किए, सब भगवान के नाम से, चाहे वो ग़लत हो या सही। जैसे, मैं बिहार जा रही हूँ और मेरे पास टिकट नहीं है, पर जाना भी है। तो जब निकलते हैं, तो भगवान से बोल देती हूँ, “हे भगवान, हे माता रानी, मेरा रक्षक करना और किसी अच्छी बोगी में बैठा देना।” सब टिकट तो होते नहीं, और मुझे स्लीपर में बैठना है, क्योंकि जनरल मेरे बस में नहीं है। फिर जब स्टेशन पर जाऊँगी, तो पहले ये सोचूँगी कि किस बोगी में बैठूँ, और एक बार भगवान जी, यानी दुर्गा माँ का ध्यान करूँगी। जो मेरे मन में बोगी आएगी, मैं उसी बोगी के पास खड़ी हो जाती हूँ और बैठ जाती हूँ। फिर ये सुख कि मुझे अपने आप सीट मिल जाती है और मैं आराम से सो लेती हूँ।
और मुझे फ़्लैट लेना है, पर मेरे नाम का कोई लोन नहीं है। पहली बार लोन का काम करना है, जो कि फ़्लैट से जुड़ा है। अब देखो, भगवान किसी को खड़ा कर दें, जिससे मेरा घर हो जाए। शायद उन्होंने मेरी बहुत हेल्प की है, और मेरा एक अकाउंट खुला है। मेरे पास पहले कोई अच्छा अकाउंट भी नहीं था, कोई पेपर भी नहीं था, यहाँ तक कि आधार कार्ड भी सही नहीं था। एक में मेरी उम्र इतनी ज़्यादा लिखी है कि क्या बताऊँ—मेरे ससुर ने बनवा दिया था, उसमें बहुत ज़्यादा उम्र है। और एक मैंने बनवाया था जॉब करने के लिए, क्योंकि जॉब में ज़्यादा उम्र नहीं चलती है। यही हाल है मेरा।
मेरी जो शादी हुई थी, वो भी ऐसी ही हुई थी। मेरे पति मुझसे 10 साल बड़े हैं और थोड़ा दिमाग में भी परेशानी है। क्योंकि जब वो कहीं जॉब नहीं कर पाते, तो मैं हर जगह देखती—पंडित से ये पूजा, वो पूजा। मान लो, जब से शादी हुई, तब से यही करते रहे घर पर कि क्यों आ जाते हैं जॉब छोड़कर? फिर जब मैं बाहर निकली, तो एक बार डॉक्टर को दिखाया, वहाँ मेरा बहुत पैसा लग गया था—धरूहेड़ा में दिखाया था। उसके बाद पता चला कि इन्हें दिमाग की दिक्कत है। उस समय के बाद, फिर मैं इन्हें बिहार ले गई और कुछ दिन वहाँ की दवा खाई। फिर बिहार में भी एक दिमाग के डॉक्टर से दिखाया। वो अभी तक वहीं की दवा खा रहे हैं और कोई काम नहीं करते, बस घर में ही रहते हैं, और घर में जो थोड़ा-बहुत होता है, वही कर लेते हैं। बस खाते-सोते रहते हैं।
और मैं यहाँ एक उम्मीद में हूँ कि मेरे बच्चे कुछ पढ़-लिख जाएँ, और कहीं भगवान कुछ जॉब लगवा ही देंगे, तो सब ठीक हो जाएगा। इसी उम्मीद से मैं सुबह से रात तक जॉब करती हूँ। जब मैं गुड़गाँव आई थी, तो मुझे कुछ नहीं पता था कि कहाँ जाऊँ, कहाँ जॉब करूँ, पर भगवान पर भरोसा था कि भगवान तो हैं ही, जो करेंगे अच्छा ही करेंगे। और आज तक वही सब कर रहे हैं। मैं कुकिंग करती हूँ। जब कभी जाने का मन नहीं होता कुकिंग पर या जॉब पर, तो मैं अपने बच्चों का ख़र्च देख लेती कि कहाँ से आएगा, फिर अपने आप नींद उड़ जाती है और निकल ही पड़ती हूँ।
मैं अपनी लाइफ़ में बहुत स्ट्रगल की हूँ, पर भगवान पर भरोसा रखा और होता ही गया। अब मेरी बेटी 12वीं में है और कहती है कि वो नीट करेगी, तो मुझे घबराहट होती है। मैं मना करती हूँ, “देखो, क्या होता है अब। बस 4 महीने बचे हैं उसे कॉलेज जाने में।” मैं भगवान से यही प्रार्थना करती हूँ कि “हे भगवान, अच्छा लाइन मिले मेरी बेटी को ताकि जल्दी जॉब कर ले।” आगे वो बेटी बढ़े, क्योंकि मुझे अब बिज़नेस करना है। जॉब से थक गई हूँ, पर जॉब इसलिए नहीं छोड़ती कि कहीं मैं डगमगा न जाऊँ। आगे मुझे बिज़नेस करने का बड़ा मन है। बहुत पहले मुझे टिफ़िन सेंटर खोलने का मन था, क्योंकि मैं बिहार में एनआईटी कॉलेज में कैंटीन में काम करती थी। कैंटीन में काम करती और वहीं सोती भी थी। वहाँ स्नैक्स का एक अलग सेक्शन था, जिसे सिर्फ़ मैं ही संभालती थी और चलाती थी। उसी समय मुझे वो करने का मन हुआ था—काश! मेरा खुद का होता, तो कितना अच्छा होता। मैंने बहुत कोशिश की, पर कोई सपोर्ट नहीं मिला, इसलिए छोड़ दिया और जॉब पर ही ध्यान दिया।
अब यही सोचती हूँ, मेरी बेटी निकल जाए, फिर मैं पक्का बिज़नेस करूँगी। अभी मैं कंपनी छोड़कर बेबी-सिटिंग और कुकिंग कर रही हूँ, तो अच्छा काम चल रहा है। मेरे भगवान हमेशा साथ रहते हैं। आशीष जैन से भी जब मिली थी, तो भगवान ने ही मिलाया। उनसे मिले 3 साल होने वाले हैं। मुझे आशीष जैन कुछ ख़ास नहीं लगे थे और न ही कोई ऐसी बात थी, बस काम करते-करते अपने से भी ज़्यादा हो गए हैं। ऐसा मानो अगर कोई मेरी फ़ैमिली और आशीष जैन—दोनों में से किसी एक पर भरोसा करने को कहे, तो मैं आशीष जैन पर करूँगी। जितना मैं खुद पर भरोसा नहीं करती, उतना उन पर करती हूँ। लाइफ़ में अगर आशीष मुझसे कुछ भी माँगें, तो मैं देने से मना नहीं कर सकती। मैं यही सोचूँगी कि उन्हें ज़रूरी है, तो मैं दे दूँ।
एक बार वो बहुत परेशान थे, उन्हें कुछ पैसों की ज़रूरत थी 3-4 महीने के लिए। वो सबसे हेल्प माँग रहे थे और मैं सुन रही थी। मैंने पूछा, “क्या हुआ?” तो वो मुझे नहीं बता रहे थे, सोच रहे थे, “क्या बताऊँ, ये क्या करेगी।” फिर मैंने बहुत पूछा, तो बोले, “मोना, मुझे 3 लाख की ज़रूरत है, क्या करूँ, कोई भी हेल्प नहीं कर रहा।” वो बहुत उदास थे। फिर मैं बोली, “मैं आपकी हेल्प कर दूँ?” तो बोले, “तुम्हारे पास है क्या?” मैंने कहा, “ज़्यादा नहीं, 1 लाख है।” वो बोले, “ठीक है, तुम दे दो, मैं बाद में लौटा दूँगा।” फिर मैंने बोल तो दिया कि “मैं दे दूँगी,” पर डर रही थी कि इतना मेहनत का पैसा है, कहीं डूब न जाए। मैंने उन्हें सब बता दिया कि “अगर मैं पैसा दे दूँ, तो कहीं मैं खुद मुसीबत में न आ जाऊँ।” फिर बहुत दिक्कतें देखीं, तो मैं भगवान का नाम लेकर बिना कोई सबूत लिए दे आई, और उनका काम हो गया। फिर 5-6 महीने बाद मेरी भाभी ने मुझसे हेल्प माँगी पैसे की। मैं आशीष को बताई कि “पैसा दे दो, भाभी को ज़रूरत है।” वो बोले, “नहीं मोना, मत दो, क्यों देना।” पर मैं नहीं मानी और भाभी को पैसा दे दिया, और मेरा पैसा वापस भी मिल गया। अब तो इतना भरोसा है आशीष जैन पर कि मेरे 2 लाख रुपये उनके पास रखे हुए हैं।
Now let’s see when the wedding will take place and what will happen. Whenever it does, I’ll think about moving my belongings, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. I’ve been working in this (Mapsko) society for more than three years now, and my work is going smoothly. I only work at one place, so I’ve managed to save up a little money. Now I have another dream: I want to buy my own flat and fulfill my wish of having a home of my own. I’ve always dreamed of having a job and owning even a small single-room place—but something that’s entirely mine.
After saving some money, I began to plan. Whenever I get an idea in my head, I can’t rest until I make it happen. It doesn’t matter how challenging it is—I get passionate about it. I don’t dream while I’m asleep; I stay awake at night, thinking about how and where to do things.
It was the same when I was in Bihar. I dreamed of purchasing land and managed to gather enough funds by selling some jewelry and saving up. I even started looking at plots and tried to buy one, but I had no one to support me. Without that support, I couldn’t finalize the purchase, even though the land was initially going to be in my name.
All the people I told about the land ended up buying it themselves, while I couldn’t buy anything. You need family members—at least two or five people—to help with the paperwork. What else could I do? My own family ignored me, and the land slipped away. I cried a lot. It’s tough for a woman to do everything alone, especially if she isn’t very educated. In the end, the entire twenty-katha plot was sold. I only wanted half a katha, but without any family support, nothing worked out.
Now, about eight years later, the same dream—of owning land and a house—has started to haunt me again. We’ll see if it’s in my destiny. The issue here is the same: I have some money, but nobody to back me. Buying property without support isn’t easy—there are so many rules. I’ve looked at many plots and flats already. Let’s see if I can actually manage to buy one or not.
अब देखो कब शादी होती है और क्या होता है। जब शादी होगी, तब मैं अपना सामान हटाने की सोचूँगी, और जो-जो होना होगा, जैसा होना होगा, हो जाएगा। अभी मैं तीन साल से ज़्यादा हो गया हूँ सोसाइटी में (मैप्सको) काम करते हुए, और काम भी ठीक चल रहा है। मैं सिर्फ़ एक ही जगह काम करती हूँ, तो थोड़ा पैसा जमा कर पाई हूँ। अब मेरे मन में एक और सपना आया कि मैं एक अपना फ़्लैट लूँ, और अपना घर का सपना पूरा करूँ। मेरा एक सपना था कि मैं जॉब करूँ और एक छोटा-सा अपना घर हो—चाहे एक ही कमरा क्यों न हो, पर अपना होना चाहिए।
जब मैंने पैसा जमा कर लिया, तो अब मैंने सोचना शुरू कर दिया। मेरे मन में जो भी आता है, उसे पूरा किए बिना चैन नहीं मिलता। चाहे काम कितना भी मुश्किल हो, मुझे जुनून हो जाता है। मैं रात में सोकर सपने नहीं देखती, बल्कि जागकर सोचने लगती हूँ कि कैसे करूँ, कहाँ करूँ।
बिल्कुल वैसे ही, जब मैं बिहार में थी, तो मैंने जमीन लेने का सपना देखा था। जमीन लेने के लिए पैसा भी जुटा लिया था—कुछ गहने बेचकर पूरा किया, कुछ बचाकर। जमीन देखना भी शुरू किया, खरीदने की कोशिश भी की, मगर किसी ने साथ नहीं दिया। साथ न मिलने की वजह से मैं नहीं ले पाई। हालाँकि सबसे पहले उस जमीन पर मेरा ही नाम होना था, फिर भी मैं नहीं ले पाई।
मैंने जिन-जिन लोगों को जमीन के बारे में बताया, उन्होंने तो ख़ुद खरीद ली, मगर मैं नहीं खरीद पाई, क्योंकि इसके लिए परिवार के और लोगों की ज़रूरत होती है—कम से कम दो या पाँच लोगों की। मैं क्या करती? मायके वाले भी इग्नोर कर गए। जमीन हाथ से निकल गई, और मैं बहुत रोई। एक औरत के लिए वैसे भी सब काम बहुत मुश्किल हो जाता है, ख़ासकर जब वह ज़्यादा पढ़ी-लिखी न हो। बस ऐसे ही रह गया और सारी 20 कठ्ठा जमीन बिक गई। मैं तो सिर्फ़ आधा कठ्ठा लेना चाह रही थी, पर परिवार न होने के कारण कुछ हो नहीं पाया।
अब वही सपना दोबारा, लगभग 8 साल बाद, मुझे फिर से सताने लगा है—जमीन और घर लेने का। देखते हैं, किस्मत में है या नहीं। क्योंकि यहाँ भी वही दिक्कत है: पैसा तो है, लेकिन साथ देने वाला कोई नहीं है। बिना सपोर्ट के प्रॉपर्टी लेना आसान नहीं होता, बहुत से नियम-क़ानून होते हैं। मैंने कई प्लॉट और फ़्लैट देख लिए, अब देखते हैं ले पाती हूँ या नहीं।
Note: “In some parts where Mona is speaking with people at her office, the name ‘Dolly’ is used for Mona because, in the office, Mona submitted documents under Dolly’s (her younger sister’s) name.”
One day, I couldn’t pay my children’s school fees and asked everyone for 500 rupees, but nobody would help. Then I asked my older sister’s daughter, and she said, “Yes, Auntie, I’ll give you 500.” So I said, “Alright, lend it to me for five days, and I’ll return it.” I had some money pending with my sister-in-law, who said she’d pay me in five days, so I figured I’d use that. Otherwise, the school wouldn’t give my children the exam papers—it was their half-yearly exam, so I really needed the money. I cried a lot that day because I had to ask my niece for money, but I was helpless. She agreed, gave me five days, and I called her on the fifth day. She had put my number on her block list, and each time I called, it said “busy.” What could I do? She basically deceived me. Then I borrowed 500 rupees on interest from someone else and paid the school fees. After my child finished the exam, I decided I’d have to earn outside (in another city). So I made up my mind to leave. I left for Haryana with my husband.
As soon as I boarded the train, my purse got stolen. It had all my money, my ATM card, and my Aadhaar card—basically everything. I had no cash for food, not a single rupee. My husband had nothing either; all our money was in that purse. When we reached Delhi, I called the uncle I was supposed to meet, explained the whole situation, and he said, “Don’t worry, just take a cab, and I’ll pay for it.” So I booked a cab and went to his room in Manesar. After resting for a day or two, I started looking for a job. I also asked the uncle I was staying with if he could help my husband get work. Every day, he found him night shifts, but I’d refuse to let my husband work nights. The uncle must have had something else on his mind. We said, “Yes, we know you get night shifts, but there’s only one room. Could you arrange a day shift first for seven days?” He replied, “It’s not in my hands,” which led me to suspect he had wrong intentions.
Then one day, he got serious and said, “If you agree to the night shift, fine. Otherwise, go find your own way.” I answered, “Okay, no problem, I’m leaving.” Since I used to live there before, I knew a landlord nearby, so I went to him, explained the situation—that I had no money right now and no job yet, but once I started earning, I’d pay. He said, “It’s alright, take a separate room,” and I moved into that new place. Even after that, neither my husband nor I found a job, and going back home wasn’t an option because I needed work urgently. I thought, “Until we find a job, I’ll do manual labor; I still can’t go home.” In Manesar, there’s a square where laborers gather in the morning to find day work. I went there too, waiting in line. Some people got hired and left, but nobody chose us, saying, “No, you folks won’t be able to handle it.” By 9 a.m., everyone else was gone, and we were left behind. I went back to my room crying; I had nothing. I only had faith in God. The place I rented had only a small gas stove, a small cylinder, one pan (tawa), a rolling pin (belan), a board for rolling dough (chakla), and a single glass. That was it. So I went to the shop—coincidentally owned by the landlord—and got some flour on credit, came back, and made rotis (flatbreads). You can buy vegetables for 10–20 rupees in Manesar; I got 10 rupees’ worth of vegetables and 10 rupees’ worth of milk. I ate roti and vegetables, drank milk, and went to sleep. Milk is my favorite. I had 500 rupees sent from my sister-in-law, which helped me get by for a bit.
One day, I sent my husband to the labor square: “You go, maybe you’ll get work. Then call me, and I’ll come.” He did get some work, called me, and I rushed over. As we were leaving for the job, the person taking us said, “Ma’am, don’t go; this job isn’t right for you.” I insisted, “Bhaiya (brother), let me try. If I can’t do it, then okay, let them replace me.” After a lot of pleading, he agreed and took me there. The work was very tough. There was a school under construction—three floors—and we had to pull bricks up with a rope. I got scared seeing it and thought, “How will I manage?” But I mustered my courage. Without eating anything, I started washing bricks. It was me, my husband, and two other laborers who were used to this sort of work. We took turns—one or two people would bring the bricks, another would tie them up, and two of us would pull them up. We just prayed to God for strength. I couldn’t tie the bricks properly since I didn’t know how, so I said, “I’ll do the pulling.” My husband and I started hauling bricks. I prayed, “God, please help,” and that’s how my daily routine began.
We worked until 1 p.m., then took a lunch break. We had no money, so the manager or employer gave us 100 rupees for food. My husband and I ate lunch. There was a two-hour break, then we resumed work until 5:30 p.m. and got paid 700 rupees. A hundred was deducted for lunch, so we took 700 home. On the way back, we bought a bucket, a mug, a comb, a mirror, and a plate—just the basics we needed. We also bought 20 rupees’ worth of prepared vegetable curry since we didn’t have any groceries. We could get it readily outside. We warmed up some rotis at home and finally reached our place at 8 p.m. We washed up, since we’d been covered in dust and dirt all day, made rotis, ate, and went to sleep. The next morning, we woke up early, bathed, and went out again, looking for more work. There was no fixed company or schedule—just show up at that square daily and hope for a job.
The next morning, we went back and found work at the same school. For three or four days, we kept working there, pulling up bricks. Each day we spent about 100 on food and saved 700. In five days, we saved about 3,500 from that job. We used that to pay 2,000 for rent (the landlord wanted an advance). Five days later, I got a cleaning job at a temple where a puja (prayer ceremony) was going to take place. The temple was quite large, so it took six or seven days to clean. My husband and I worked there, earned 4,900 rupees total (for both of us). There was more work there, but we didn’t feel comfortable; it was also physically demanding, and we couldn’t manage. Desperate times push you to do anything, but at least now we had some money. In a day or two, I figured I could find a real job. So I went to a dairy and ice cream company, got hired, and started working. I call my husband “Sahab” (a term like “Sir”) because he doesn’t want to work; that’s why I address him that way.
Now I started going to the company, but my husband refused to work and stayed at home. I’d encourage him, “Go find a job somewhere,” but he’d reply, “I’m going back home. I’m done with working. You forced me here and forced me to work. You work; I’m leaving.” So I tried, “Let me find him another job.” I got him placed in my own company, but he wouldn’t do anything and ended up running away from it. They called me saying, “He doesn’t want to work; he’s going to the bathroom all the time. Dolly, tell us what to do.” I said, “Let him go.” After that, he never found any other work, not even day labor, because he simply had no interest in working. Two months passed like this; I kept working, and he kept running from place to place, refusing every job.
There was an auntie living next door who asked me, “Your husband’s at home? Has he never found work?” I responded honestly, “No, Auntie, nothing’s come up. I don’t know what else to do.” She said, “Don’t worry, dear, I know someone; let me talk to him.” She set up a phone call for me, and I told him the truth: “Look, you can offer a job, but he probably can’t do it.” He started talking more, and before we knew it, three hours had passed on the phone—I’d explained everything about how my husband couldn’t hold a job. I even said, “I don’t know you,” and he said, “That’s okay, nobody knows anyone at first; you’ll get to know me. I’ll give your husband a job; it’s no trouble for me.” I said, “Alright, he might do it, but only for about 15 days maximum.” He promised, “No, I’ll get him a good position with good pay.” “Okay,” I said. “But I’m not leaving my job here,” and he agreed, “That’s fine, you stay there, I’ll have him move in with someone else. When he’s settled, you can come.” I said, “Alright.” He told me, “It won’t cost you a cent. I’m coming to pick him up.” He came on Sunday, took my husband with him the same day, and got him a job on Monday, just as he’d promised.
After that, I spoke to him occasionally because my husband didn’t have a phone, so we used his phone to communicate. A month passed, and he said, “Your husband’s gotten his first salary; now you should come here, too. I can get you the same job.” I agreed, and my husband also kept calling, saying he was having trouble cooking on his own. So I went to Jaipur. My husband had a job at Omax, in the quality department, with a salary of 20,000—arranged by that man. He got him the highest salary because he controlled payroll. I moved to Jaipur as well and found a job myself. My pay was lower because some of my documents were incomplete, but at least both of us were working.
Things went well for a few months. Then my husband started insisting again about going home around May. I said, “Wait a few more months, then I’ll get you leave from the boss. It’s only been three months. He said you need to work six months before you can take leave.” But my husband had no urgent reason; he just wanted to go. He worked for three months, often taking time off, but my boss was trying to manage things, telling me not to worry—that he’d sort it out somehow. I thought, “Mona, just stay calm; he says he’ll help.” The truth was, that man had taken a liking to me, but I never said anything because I was already stressed and didn’t want any drama. “If you want to help, fine; if not, that’s okay, I’m not interested,” I told him. He said, “Don’t get the wrong idea—I just like you; maybe we could be friends.” I replied, “No friends, no enemies—let’s just keep it simple.” He laughed and said, “Alright, if that’s what you want; you’re a good person.”
One day, my husband forced me into sending him back home with a train ticket; he’d jumped a boundary fence or something to get into the room. Then I got a call from the boss, “Where is Madanjeet?” I said, “I’m at work, I don’t know.” I got a gate pass and went to check; he was indeed back at the room. I phoned the boss and told him. Whatever he did, it could’ve been serious, but God saved him. There was no evidence because the cameras didn’t catch it. The boss said, “I gave him a letter, but forgot about it.” After that, he told me, “I’m sorry, I can’t keep him on here. This is too much trouble.” I said, “Well, then just stay here, no point going home,” but he wouldn’t. He stayed ten days and started getting physically aggressive about leaving. I had no choice but to send him off. It was our wedding anniversary, and I said, “At least wait for that,” but he insisted he had to go. So I bought him a last-minute ticket and sent him away. Now it’s been five years that I haven’t been able to get him any job, because he keeps creating situations that only God can fix. Before, I’d forget these incidents and think maybe I’d try once more to find something for him. But now, each time I remember the chaos he caused, I realize, “God has saved us so many times. Better not try anymore.” I haven’t even brought up jobs for him since. Though he keeps saying, “Can’t you get me a job again? Trust me one more time.” Sometimes I think about placing him somewhere, like a garments factory, but then I remember he won’t focus on the job, and who knows what trouble he might cause. Honestly, because of him, I feel so much anxiety about job matters. I’d end up having to advocate for him—“He might not be able to handle some tasks, please accommodate.” He could have become a friend to me this way, since I’d end up confiding in him, but I avoid forming close bonds with people, don’t like going out or socializing. I figure, what’s the point of being too friendly? Meanwhile, my husband just runs away; he has no interest in working at all. How could that ever work?
So for five years, I’ve been completely on my own, just focusing on a job and my children. Then someone I knew on Facebook said, “Dolly, come to Manesar. I can get you work here. Your old company reopened.” I used to work at a company called Lifelong, which burned down. I was an operator making 3ml syringes. I agreed and thought, “Sure, I’ll go. My salary was only 8,000, but maybe I can manage.” Before, I’d gone for my husband’s sake; now he’s gone. What’s the point of earning just 8,000? Still, I went to Manesar, tried to get a new job, but didn’t find one because there were no vacancies. Eventually, I got hired at Sandhar Company—12-hour shifts, 16,000 salary, from 7 to 7. I got put on packing duty, which I liked, and everything was going well. After a year, it was my sister’s 25th wedding anniversary. She said she wanted to celebrate properly and invited everyone for three days. All my sisters are housewives, so they had no problem, but I was far away. I took four days off, went to my sister’s place, prepared everything, and stayed there. My kids came too, the whole family. My husband also came, and it was a lot of fun.
After four days, I returned to work, and that’s when we were told our company was moving to Gurgaon. They said either go there or look for something else. It was stressful; we weren’t sure where to go. They gave us six months to find a new company, and our manager even offered some contacts. But the problem was that most places offered eight-hour shifts, paying about the same as our 12-hour job. I wasn’t sure I’d manage. I stayed home for a month, thinking, “If I don’t find anything soon, I’ll settle for whatever I can get,” but still I tried looking. Nothing worked out. Then one day, an old friend and I reconnected. She took my number, called me, and came to meet. I told her everything. She suggested, “Why don’t you do cooking in a society? You’ll earn decent money, as much as the work you put in.” I said, “Alright, I just need income.” She said, “I can find you one cooking job, and you can look for more.” So I came to the Mapsko Society and joined one cooking position. Within three or four days, I got three cooking gigs. I’d start at 6 a.m. and finish by 11. Around 11, it’d be very hot, and few autos run in the society, so sometimes I’d have to walk back, arriving around 12. Then at 4 or 4:30, I’d leave again for evening cooking jobs, finishing by 8 p.m. Two or three months passed like this, and I kept thinking, “If I could get one 8-hour job in the society, that’d be simpler.”
Then I got a call asking if I’d look after someone’s child. “Yes, if you want that, come meet us. You’ll just watch the child.” I went and spoke with them. They liked me and asked me to start the next day, 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m., for 14,000 rupees. I agreed. I ended up staying there most of the time because it wasn’t convenient to travel back and forth. I’d bathe in the morning, go there, have a quick breakfast, and bring my own lunch. So I started doing both cooking and babysitting. A month later, my sister’s husband had an accident and passed away. I received the news and immediately ran home, leaving work behind. I couldn’t return for 15 days; they waited for me. After I came back, my job was still open; no one had replaced me. So I resumed work, juggling two cooking gigs plus babysitting.
Then one evening, I was heading home and accepted a ride from a man who lived in the Mapsko Society. Usually, at night, I don’t take lifts but walk, because the autos stop running. But that day, I did, and it turned out to be my last time accepting a ride. He dropped me at my usual stop, asked what I did for a living, where I was coming from. I told him I cooked for people. He asked, “Can you cook for me, too?” I replied, “No, I don’t have the time.” He said, “Alright, take my number. If you ever have the time, call me.” I said okay, took his number, and went home. Two days later, I had an argument with the person whose cooking job I did, so I quit. The fight started because I’d gone to their place, rang the bell, and nobody opened the door. Later, they accused me of never showing up. I even gave proof—their groceries were left at the door—but they kept insisting I never came. I got fed up and said, “Fine, if I supposedly never came, I really won’t come anymore,” and I quit.
Two days after that, I called the man whose number I’d taken. I asked, “When should I come cook?” He said, “Come whenever you like.” So I went to cook, but he had no supplies—just an empty house. I asked, “How am I supposed to cook with no groceries?” He asked if I could bring them. I said, “I have no vehicle. You have a car, so go get groceries, and from tomorrow I’ll start cooking.” Then he asked if I’d go with him because he didn’t know where or what to buy, being new to the area. I was short on time, but I like helping people if I can manage, so I said, “Alright, let’s go now, in an hour. We’ll pick some stuff up.” So we went out around 8 p.m. to Manesar, picked up a few utensils—pressure cooker, pan, and other essentials. We got back late, so I couldn’t cook that night; I had to get home. The next day, I started cooking for him.
We’d only been doing this for about 15 days when I got a phone call from “Aashi Jain,” telling me, “Don’t come tomorrow, Mona.” I asked, “Why? What happened?” He just said, “Don’t come.” I wondered what was wrong—that he wouldn’t want me cooking anymore. I pressed for an answer, and he said, “I don’t have any money to pay you.” That really hurt because I was being turned away just for money. I told him, “If the problem is money, I’ll cook for free. It’s only one meal, so I’ll manage.” He insisted that he had no money, so I reiterated I could do it for free, as long as there was no other issue. He kept saying he was short on cash. So, from that point on, for about two months, I cooked without any payment. Eventually, he proposed, “Mona, why don’t you stay here in my flat, save on rent?” I declined: “No, I can’t live here. Why would I? You live alone, and I can’t do that.” I refused.
More days passed. Then my sister’s daughter got a job in Gurgaon, so she told me, “Auntie, I’ll come stay with you if that’s okay.” I said, “Sure, no problem.” I updated Aashi, “Sanu (my niece) is coming. Can I give her your address? My own room isn’t that nice, so she’ll be more comfortable at your place.” He agreed. Sanu arrived but left after one day. She was gone, but I had already brought my belongings to that place, so I basically started living there. I vacated my old room and moved in. I stayed for a year, cooking for Aashi without any pay. Eventually, something happened in the society, and I had to move out. I rented another place for 3,000, and Aashi Jain started paying that rent for me. So now, effectively, Aashi was giving me a 3,000-rupee salary. I continued staying there, although all my belongings remained at his flat. I would just go to my room at night to sleep, then come back in the morning and head to work from there. My job was 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., so I’d return at 8, cook, and usually leave by 9 or 9:30 p.m. That’s how life went. Aashi plans to keep it that way until he gets married, and then we’ll see. At present, I’m staying with Aashi Jain. My salary there rose to 7,500 because his child grew older and started going to school, freeing me up. So I started doing all the household chores too. Aashi Jain got promoted twice, so he had no issues paying me more. He said, “Mona, handle everything, and take whatever amount comes out to be.” I agreed. So now I do all the housework and get 7,500. Everything’s going well. Aashi also is doing fine in a good position, and I’m working too. But now Aashi wants to get married. He keeps meeting women, but hasn’t found anyone he likes yet.
Then I started talking to a boy, and he became persistent, even bringing up marriage. I refused. I said, “I only talk to you, share some conversations, but I have no feelings for you. This can’t happen. I’m already married, okay?” But he wouldn’t listen.
He didn’t understand and came to my house. He even spoke to my sister-in-law, but I didn’t like him at all. I had no interest in him because I was already broken by my earlier marriage. All I ever got was betrayal. My marriage had been arranged in such a terrible place—people had suspicions that the groom was mentally unwell, but they still went through with it, thinking, “What does it matter? We don’t have money to send Mona anywhere else, so let’s just do it.”
I used to hear all this, but I was helpless. I didn’t know much and couldn’t do anything, so that’s how I got married. I didn’t want any more trouble, so I kept my distance. But living alone was difficult—everyone’s eyes were on me. People thought, “I wish she were my girlfriend.”
These days, people don’t care if someone is married or not; they just see a woman. So, living alone is really hard. But if God is with you, everything becomes easier. If not, it’s all difficult. I have complete faith in God. Whenever I need something, I ask Him and then work hard, because even God says, “If you put in the effort, I will stand by you.” It’s not like He can hand down money from above; He can only support you.
I got scared of that boy’s behavior. I left all my belongings there and returned to my parents’ house with my kids, coinciding with Rakhi, so no one would suspect why I was really coming home. I stayed there a few days and decided to look for a job in that area. I told my sister-in-law, “Bhabhi, I’d like to stay here and find a job.”
She’s somewhat understanding, so I tell her everything. When she agreed, I felt a bit happy and started searching for work. My brother was in Bikaner, Rajasthan, but jobs were scarce—few companies and low salaries. I wasn’t sure what to do.
I read the newspaper daily, looking for job ads. Eventually, I found work at a shop in Junagarh. I called immediately and went. Junagarh is a tourist spot where many foreigners visit. There’s a store there that stays open day and night, selling water, cold drinks, bread, pastries, and other snacks—always busy. I worked there from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.
So I started working again and enrolled my kids in a local school. Then, about ten months later, calls came from my in-laws, saying, “I’ll handle everything. Bring the kids to Dehri. Please send Mona here.” My brother initially refused, but they kept insisting: “No, I’ll manage.”
Then my husband’s younger brother began calling. He spoke to my brother. He was in the army and was building a house in Dehri. He took me to see his house and said, “Once it’s finished, you can live here and enroll the kids in the model school.”
My brother kept saying no at first, but finally agreed and dropped me off in Dehri. My brother-in-law said, “While my house is under construction, you can stay at your sister’s place.” At that sister’s home, only she and her daughter lived there. She was due to go to Kanpur in about four months. So I stayed there with my two kids.
This meant five people were living there: my sister, her daughter, me, and my two daughters. I paid for everyone’s expenses. My in-laws only sent some rice and, at times, covered school fees. Otherwise, I covered everything from my own pocket. My in-laws assumed my brother was paying, but that wasn’t true; I was bearing the costs myself.
I managed like that for four or five months. Then my in-laws stopped paying my daughter’s school fees, saying, “I can’t afford it anymore.” So, what could I do? They said, “Come back to the village. Kids here study just fine—what’s so special about you? Teach them in the village.” That’s how things went.
I was stuck. I had around 100,000 rupees, but it was getting used up quickly in daily expenses at my sister’s place, especially since I wasn’t working right then. I was worried about my daughters’ future and education. Finally, in frustration, I went to the police station and explained everything, saying I wanted my share of the land so I could farm and educate my children. A lot happened, but eventually I got two bighas of land and was effectively separated from the rest. They stopped sending me the rice I used to receive.
It was June by then. Starting that month, all expenses fell on me alone. I got no money from them. How was I supposed to eat or pay the school fees? I somehow got through June and July. In August, I began farming. My brother gave me 6,000 rupees and my sister Pinky gave me 4,000. I needed 10,000 total. I asked for just enough because I didn’t want a big loan—just enough to get started.
Neither my brother nor my sister ever asked for that money back. Still, I only borrowed that exact amount. It was the first time in my life I’d borrowed money. One of my sisters, who had given me the money, called and said, “Mona, don’t do farming. You don’t know anything about it.” I said, “Still, I’ll do it.” I went to the village and started farming. I stayed there two months with my kids. They worked hard too.
They traveled from the village to school in Dehri every day. School started at 8, so they’d leave at 6 a.m. to arrive on time. That’s how life went. After a few months, the harvest was ready, and my share of the property was legally separated. All I got from the harvest were two sacks of wheat. They said, “That’s all we have left,” and the villagers naturally sided with my in-laws.
What else could I do? I managed food with whatever small savings I had. Then I returned to my sister’s place. My other sister wasn’t much help—she showed no sympathy. She harassed me constantly, saying, “You’re freeloading in my house. Anywhere else, you’d pay rent.” It was a daily torment.
Imagine how I was living. I just clung to my faith that God would make things right eventually. Luckily, the harvest was actually quite good. After my children’s final exams, I took them back to the village and decided not to return. I started sending them to school from there. By then, they’d moved on to 3rd and 4th grades. My sister kept telling me, “Go away. I’m not obligated to keep you.” But I stayed because I didn’t want people at my in-laws’ place to speak badly of me for renting a separate place so soon. I put up with it for a year, though I secretly searched for a rental home from the village itself. My kids were often struggling. Sometimes they’d come home late at night, and I’d cry, praying to God. That was the situation.
When I finally found a two-room place, I rented it. By God’s grace, it was in a good area and only cost 2,000 rupees a month. Then I called my brother and said, “Bhaiya, please give me 2,000 a month, just for a little while.” He began sending me 2,000 each month, as others advised.
Time passed. I got a small amount from farming, and my brother paid the rent. But after seven months, the rent rose to 2,200. Now what? I informed my brother, but he could only afford 2,000—he was already struggling with that. My mother started lecturing me every month. I felt very bad and told them to stop sending money altogether. So it stopped.
Then I searched for a job on my own. I thought maybe I’d work in a clothing shop or somewhere else. After many months of looking, I found work at a tiffin center. I’d go there at 4 a.m. and come back by 7:30. Gradually, time passed. With that job and some earnings from the farm, I managed okay. The good thing was that this job provided food for my kids. I’d prepare tiffin in the morning, and they’d let me pack some for my children. I explained my kids went to school and needed lunch, and they agreed because they liked my cooking. They also covered my daily commute of 20 rupees, which I saved by walking 7 kilometers each way.
That’s how I spent my days—years went by like that. Eventually, my expenses for the children grew, but my job’s pay didn’t. So I started thinking of going elsewhere for work and leaving my daughters behind, now that they were older. I often asked them, “Should I go somewhere else to work? Can you two manage on your own?” But they were still young—one in sixth grade, the other in seventh. On top of that, they were both girls, and I myself am a woman. Our situation was complicated and uncertain. Life felt very difficult.
I went to get my younger sister’s documents, brought them back, and then left my daughter with my sister-in-law. Now both of my daughters were staying separately—one with their grandmother and the other with my sister-in-law. Just when the job was about to reach the one-year mark, I started getting calls from my family saying, “Take your child back.”
The moment I heard that, I felt anxious. How would I manage my job and look after my children at the same time? I was really worried. Then I thought, “It’s okay, my daughters will get older.” Even though they were still young—one six years old and the other three—I held onto a little hope that as they grew, they would be able to manage, play, and stay on their own. So I brought both of them to Haryana. There, I taught my daughters how to stay at home and instructed them: “Don’t ever leave the house unless I come back. Don’t even step out of the room.” Both my daughters listened to me and were very sensible.
A few months later, I got them both admitted to a nearby school and arranged for tuition classes too. Everything was going fine. Then I started getting complaints from the school asking why my kids weren’t coming regularly, what the problem was. The school asked me to come in.
I said, “I dress them and send them every day; they go every day!” But now there was a new problem. My kids’ school starts at 8 a.m., while my company starts at 6 a.m. How could I manage sending them to school on time? I felt helpless. If they missed school, they would fall behind.
For a woman, it’s a big challenge: either focus on your child or on your job. If you focus on the job, the child suffers; if you focus on the child, the job suffers. And both are essential—how else would I feed them, handle expenses?
Finally, I found another approach: I decided to drop my children off each morning with the principal at school. I would leave them there and then sometimes, with a gate pass, I would come and check on them from my workplace. That solved the issue—my kids were able to get to class on time. They got used to it, and every day they went and came back on a proper schedule. Life was going smoothly: my children were doing fine, and so was I.
Then another problem arose: a fire broke out at my company, and I lost my job. For a few months, the company paid us, but eventually they told us to find work elsewhere. I couldn’t find a decent job for months, so I was unemployed for a while. Then someone mentioned a security guard position. I went for an interview, but I was too young for that role, so it didn’t work out.
At that time, there was a guy there who was a field officer. He started to pursue me, and I got caught up in it. He dangled the promise, “Don’t stress about a job; I’m here. I’ll help you find something.” I figured maybe he really would. He kept talking to me under various pretenses, and I went along because I hadn’t found another job yet. I thought, “What’s the harm in just talking for now?”
Time went by, and he never actually got me a job. Eventually, I stopped taking his calls, thinking this wasn’t right. The real problem was that he would say things like, “If you go there alone, it’ll happen for sure.” But I never went anywhere alone; I always took someone along.
Day after day passed. One day on the phone he told me, “You should come to the office by yourself if you really want the job. Why do you bring someone else every time? Don’t you trust me?” I said, “No, I’m not comfortable going alone. I don’t feel you have good intentions.” He just laughed and said, “It’s nothing like that. I like you, that’s all. I won’t force you to do anything. You’re a wonderful person. You’re not like other girls.”
That’s what he said. The truth was, I was quite young but had a lot of responsibilities. He liked me because of that. But all I cared about was finding work; I was determined to do something with my life. I didn’t want boyfriends or close male friends. I just wanted to work, go home, work overtime if I could—no hanging out or taking days off.
Other girls would take leave, but I never did. I always aimed for perfect attendance. I wasn’t in the habit of going out for fun. Even on Sundays, I worked overtime. That’s how my time went by. I didn’t really think much about whether I was a man or a woman. I never dressed up; I stayed simple. Almost like a tomboy, because the environment around me wasn’t great.
Still, I’d run into people here or there, but I never paid attention. I wanted to stay as far away as possible from all that because my focus was on my work. I wasn’t interested in hanging out or making friends. Sometimes I would think about it: all my friends had boyfriends, and people would say, “Friends are important, too! Life isn’t just about work. You need someone to spend time with and share things with.” But I never believed that. I would say, “No, everyone is a friend, really. I don’t have any enemies.” My friends would say, “All right, stay how you are—no problem.”
But I never really made any close friends. That’s just how my life is. I don’t know what else to tell or what to hide. You could say life is very busy.
I am Mona Singh.
I come from a good family, with six sisters and one brother. My father worked a government job, so our budget at home was small and our family was large—six sisters and one brother. I am the second-youngest.
My father didn’t let anyone study very far. He only allowed us to go up to 10th grade so that we wouldn’t be completely uneducated. One positive thing was that we studied in English medium. However, I was only able to complete up to the 8th grade because I was married off. Perhaps there was some issue at home, or they found a groom “for free,” and so they arranged my wedding.
I got married in 2003. The wedding took place in such a terrible environment that I can’t describe it in words. If anyone wants details, they’d have to ask me directly because I can’t put it into writing.
After the wedding, my in-laws informed my family about a rule: for one full year after marriage, the bride cannot visit her parents’ home. But my brother came and said, “What kind of rule is this? We won’t let this happen.” He came two or three times to bring me home, but my in-laws had already made a plan. In our village, everything is done according to what the priest says. From the start, right after I got married, this “rule” was given to us.
My father-in-law paid the priest and hatched a plan so later, when my brother came, they would have an excuse not to let me go. And that’s exactly what happened. I couldn’t return to my parents’ house for a year. During that time, I had a daughter named Mahi.
Three years after my wedding, I finally went home. Then my husband’s younger brother got married. My new sister-in-law went back to her own family just 15 days later. So I asked the villagers, “What’s going on? When I got married, you said I couldn’t go home for a year. That was only two years ago, so how is it different now?” I asked because I wanted to learn the truth. That’s when I realized it was all just a priest’s excuse.
After I returned home, three years into my marriage, I shared all my sorrows with my family and especially my mother. My mother is very strong. I have a sister (the third-born) who understands everyone’s pain and supports us like a brother. When she heard everything, she became very angry and said we should just break away from that family. She said, “We don’t want my sister living in such a place. It’d be better if she stayed here her whole life. That place is hell. They’ve already done so much; who knows what they’ll do next?”
A huge dispute arose between my family and my in-laws. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I wasn’t very knowledgeable or mature at the time. The only thought I had was that if my husband found a job outside, everything would be okay.
Then I talked to my brother: “Brother, help him get a job. Once he starts working, everything might settle down. Maybe I can go with him somewhere, and everything will be fine.” My brother had a good job by then. After my marriage, he’d gotten a solid position. He could have hired my husband under him. So, five years into my marriage, he found my husband a job.
I always believed I had married a man who already had a stable job, but that turned out to be a lie.
When he did get a job, my husband couldn’t keep it. Every 15 days, he’d run back home. My family felt helpless, wondering what to do next. Still, my brother didn’t give up. He kept logging my husband’s attendance for almost a year to help him keep the job. Then my brother finally said, “Mona, he’s not going to hold onto this job. Do one thing: you stay here, and maybe if you’re here, he’ll actually work and won’t keep running back.” So my brother rented a flat for me and asked me to come live there. By then, I had two daughters. I left one with her grandmother and took the other to live with me in the flat.
Two months later, my husband stopped going to his job again. I don’t know if it was my fate or what, but at that same time, my brother got a promotion and had to move from Chang’an to somewhere else. So I was left alone, and my husband’s job was in jeopardy. Even then, my brother called us to his new place, arranged an interview through a friend. The friend and my husband both interviewed. His friend got the job; my husband didn’t. He might have gotten in, because everything was set up for him, but he got stuck when he misstated his salary—he didn’t notice what was printed on the papers, and he got caught. So he ended up not getting hired and came back. My brother gave him a few more chances, but if someone doesn’t want to work, no one can make them.
Time passed, and I was really distressed because I wasn’t happy at all. I didn’t know what to do. All paths felt closed. I couldn’t see any purpose to living. Nothing made sense to me.
Then I met a man. I had bought a TV from him for my daughter. I was thinking, “What do I do now? If I go back to that house, I’ll just live however they make me live. I can’t stay at my parents’ place too long, can’t bother them. They’d take me in, because they’re my parents, but I decided I just couldn’t stay there forever.”
So I made up my mind to go back and live with my in-laws.
But God had different plans. When I went to pay for the TV, that uncle explained a lot of things to me. While delivering the TV, he gave me advice and encouraged me to start working. So I did start working. At that time, my younger daughter was only a year old. The question was how to manage a job with such a small child. So I left her with my parents for a while and began working. But I didn’t have any documents. What was I supposed to do? Then that uncle suggested another idea: “Bring documents from one of your sisters and start the job.”
