Books on Goal-Setting (Jan 2024)

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Countless books have been written, but not all are created equal. Some offer inspirational ideas, while others focus more on the psychological aspects of meeting goals.

Here is a list of 10 books we believe are the best for goal setting:

1. Atomic Habits by James Clear

One of the bestsellers in the self-help genre, Atomic Habits is a fantastic read for anyone hoping to improve their lives through goal setting. The book offers practical strategies and techniques to form good habits and break bad ones, making it easier to achieve your goals.

With real-life examples and actionable advice, Clear helps you understand the science behind habit formation and how small changes can lead to significant results. He discusses the four laws of behavior change essential in creating long-lasting habits—make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying.

He also emphasizes the importance of focusing on systems rather than goals, a crucial concept in your success journey. This book will give you the tools to build a better version of yourself.

2. The One Thing by Gary Keller

Based on the premise that focusing on one thing can make all the difference, this book offers valuable insights on prioritizing your goals and eliminating distractions. It highlights the importance of time management and staying focused on your most important tasks.

The authors argue that multitasking is a myth and that it's better to focus on one thing at a time, giving it your undivided attention. They also provide practical tools and techniques to help you identify your “one thing” and work towards attaining it.

This book is perfect for individuals struggling with juggling multiple goals and feeling overwhelmed. With the guidance provided, you can learn to streamline your efforts and achieve more with less.

3. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Considered a classic in the self-help genre, this book has sold over 25 million copies worldwide. It presents a holistic approach to personal and professional effectiveness through developing 7 fundamental habits.

Covey emphasizes the importance of being proactive, prioritizing tasks, and seeking win-win solutions in relationships. He also delves into “sharpening the saw,” which is about caring for oneself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

This book offers valuable insights on how to align your actions with your core values and principles. It will help you understand that true success goes beyond external achievements but also encompasses inner growth.

4. Goals! by Brian Tracy

As the title suggests, Goals! is about setting and achieving goals. Tracy explains how to create a clear vision of what you want and stay motivated throughout the process. He also discusses the power of visualization in manifesting your goals.

What makes this book stand out is its practical exercises that help you apply the concepts to your own life. It covers topics like time management, dealing with setbacks, and overcoming procrastination.

Tracy's writing style is engaging and easy to follow, making it an excellent read for anyone looking to improve their goal-setting skills. This read will inspire you to dream big and provide the strategies to turn those dreams into reality.

5. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Initially published in 1937, this book has stood the test of time and is still relevant today. It presents a step-by-step guide to reaching financial success through setting clear goals, developing a positive mindset, and taking action.

Hill shares insights from over 500 successful millionaires, including Thomas Edison and Henry Ford, making it a fascinating read. Moreover, he highlights the power of persistence, faith, and visualization in achieving your desires.

The book is not just about attaining wealth but also teaches valuable lessons on life and success. It could inspire you to believe in yourself and take charge of your destiny.

6. Hard Goals by Mark Murphy

In this book, Mark Murphy challenges the conventional approach to goal setting and introduces the concept of “hard goals.” These are goals that are heartfelt, animated, required, and difficult.

Murphy presents this new goal-setting framework, including several drivers of success—personal alignment, focus, effort allocation, visualizing success, and grit. You'll learn to set hard goals that push you out of your comfort zone.

The book is based on extensive research and case studies, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to set and reach challenging goals. It's a refreshing take on traditional goal-setting methods.

7. Mindset by Carol S. Dweck

This book dives into mindset and how it can impact our success. Dweck introduces the idea of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset and how our beliefs about intelligence and abilities can shape our behaviors.

She argues that individuals with a growth mindset, who believe their skills can be developed through hard work, are more likely to meet their goals. Whereas those with a fixed mindset, who believe their talents are innate and unchangeable, often give up when faced with challenges.

Dweck gives practical strategies for developing a growth mindset and its benefits in various aspects of our lives, including relationships, education, and careers.

8. Getting Things Done by David Allen

If you struggle with organization and productivity, this book is a must-read. Allen presents a method for managing tasks called “Getting Things Done” (GTD). It involves capturing all your commitments and ideas into an external system, reviewing them regularly, and taking action.

The GTD method helps individuals clear their minds of clutter and focus on the most critical tasks. It also emphasizes the importance of breaking down large projects into smaller, manageable steps.

This book is a game changer for those looking to increase their productivity and reduce stress by staying organized and on top of their tasks.

9. The Book of Mistakes by Skip Prichard

Ever feel like you're making the same mistakes over and over again? This book provides a unique goal-setting perspective by focusing on what not to do.

Prichard shares 9 common mistakes that hold people back from achieving their goals and excellent advice on overcoming them. He also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and learning from our mistakes.

This is a relatively easy read, with relatable anecdotes and actionable steps to help you avoid common mistakes and achieve your ideal results.

10. The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy

How often have you started a goal only to give up after a few weeks? The Compound Effort explores the power of small, consistent actions and how they can lead to significant results over time.

Darren Hardy explains that our daily habits and choices compound over time, leading us closer or further away from our objectives. One of the key takeaways is that success is not an overnight phenomenon; it's the result of daily, deliberate actions.

Of course, the same applies to failure. Small, negative habits can also compound and keep us from reaching our goals. That's why it's crucial to pay attention to our daily choices and align them with our desired outcomes.

Final Thoughts

Whether you strive to boost productivity, change your mindset, or attain financial success, there's a goal-setting book for you. Each book offers a unique perspective and tips to reach your dreams and nurture a fulfilling life.

Recognize that setting goals is just the first step; it takes determination and consistent action to make them a reality. Go ahead and pick up one (or more) of these books, and take the first step towards a better future.

The path may be tough, but the rewards are worthwhile. Happy reading!

Ex 1.10 - On mean and variance of two variables (Pattern Recognition and ML by Christopher Bishop)

Question:




Answer:

From the solutions to book

Using ChatGPT

If x and y are two independent continuous variables, can you derive the expression for E[x+y]

Certainly! If $x$ and $y$ are two independent continuous random variables, you can find the expected value of their sum $E[x + y]$ by using the property that for independent random variables, the expected value of the sum is the sum of the expected values. Mathematically:

$E[x + y] = E[x] + E[y]$

So, the expected value of the sum of two independent continuous random variables is simply the sum of their individual expected values.

If you have specific probability density functions (PDFs) for $x$ and $y$, you can also find $E[x + y]$ by integrating over all possible values of $x$ and $y$:

$E[x + y] = \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} (x + y) \cdot f(x) \cdot g(y) \,dx \,dy$

Here, $f(x)$ and $g(y)$ are the probability density functions of $x$ and $y$ respectively.

If $x$ and $y$ have known probability density functions, you can substitute them into the above expressions to find the expected value of their sum.

Please integrate the last expression and show how for i.i.d. x and y, E[x+y] = E[x] + E[y]

Certainly! Let's integrate the last expression and show that for independent and identically distributed (iid) random variables $x$ and $y$, $E[x + y] = E[x] + E[y]$.

Assuming $f(x)$ and $g(y)$ are the probability density functions (PDFs) of $x$ and $y$ respectively, and $x$ and $y$ are iid, the expression for $E[x + y]$ is:

$E[x + y] = \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} (x + y) \cdot f(x) \cdot g(y) \,dx \,dy$

Now, let's perform the integration:

$E[x + y] = \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} (x + y) \cdot f(x) \cdot g(y) \,dx \,dy$

$= \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} x \cdot f(x) \cdot g(y) \,dx \,dy + \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} y \cdot f(x) \cdot g(y) \,dx \,dy$

Now, by the independence of $x$ and $y$, the joint PDF $f(x, y)$ can be expressed as the product of the individual PDFs:

$f(x, y) = f(x) \cdot g(y)$

So, we can simplify the above expression:

$= \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} x \cdot f(x) \left(\int_{-\infty}^{\infty} g(y) \,dy\right) \,dx + \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} y \left(\int_{-\infty}^{\infty} f(x) \,dx\right) \cdot g(y) \,dy$

The integrals inside the parentheses evaluate to 1 because $f(x)$ and $g(y)$ are probability density functions, which integrate to 1 over their respective ranges. Therefore:

$= \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} x \cdot f(x) \,dx + \int_{-\infty}^{\infty} y \cdot g(y) \,dy$

This is equivalent to $E[x] + E[y]$, showing that for iid $x$ and $y$, $E[x + y] = E[x] + E[y]$.

How Can We Get Ready To Write? (Chapter 2)

Translate this page:

What Should You Write?

• Write about what keeps you awake at night.
• Write to learn where you need to go.

Trust where your writing takes you. You may start with a trauma / emotional upheaval but soon begin writing about other topics. As long as these other topics are emotionally important, follow them. If, however, you find yourself writing about what you would like for dinner — or some other distracting topic — then force yourself back to the trauma / emotional upheaval.

# Write about issues relevant to the here and now.

# Write only about traumas that are present in your mind.

Write only about traumas that are present in your mind.

A remarkable amount of literature deals with repressed memories. The repressed memory literature explores the idea that people have had horrible childhood experiences that they don’t remember — many of which involved childhood sexual abuse. The writing you are doing here focuses on what you are aware of now. If you have no memory of a given childhood experience, why not go with the working assumption that it never happened? After all, you wouldn’t know the difference anyway. Write only about conscious traumas and upheavals. It will save you thousands of dollars in therapy and legal bills.

How Much Time Should You Write?

How frequently to write.

While there is some debate about whether it is better to write for four consecutive days or to separate your writing days, there is nothing conclusive either way.

How long for each session.

In most large-scale studies, people wrote for around twenty minutes on three to four occasions.

How many days to write.

What if you find that you enjoy writing and want to continue past four days? Do it.

Booster-writing sessions

Think of expressive writing as a tool always be at your disposal, or like having medicine in your medicine cabinet. No need to take the medicine when you are healthy, but when you are under the weather, you can always turn to it. Once you have tried writing as a healing agent, try it again when you need to. Also, you might find that in the future, you won’t need to write for four days, twenty minutes a day. Merely writing occasionally when something bothers you might be sufficient.

Writing prescription: To Journal or Not to Journal?

Sometimes a healthcare provider may tell a patient, “You should write about that in a journal,” but that’s as far as the prescription goes. You may wonder, is keeping a daily journal a good idea? Ironically, there is no clear evidence that keeping a daily journal or diary is good for your health, perhaps in part because once people get in the habit of writing every day, they devote less and less time to dealing with important psychological issues. Sometimes a journal can become a worn path with little benefit.

Writing in a journal about the same trauma, using the same words, expressing the same feelings over and over is a bit like the grandmother in Eudora Welty’s story, A Worn Path. The woman in this story travels the same path every year at the same time, seeking medicine for a child who died years before. No medicine will bring back the grandmother’s dead child. Writing in a journal every day about that same issue with the same words in the same way will probably not bring the relief you seek and may actually do more harm than good.

My own experience is that journal writing works best on an as-needed basis as a life-course correction. If your life is going well, you are happy, and are not obsessing about things in the past, why over analyze yourself?

Let it go and enjoy life as it comes. It is safe to say that some future miseries will visit you again. When they happen, do some expressive writing to deal with them.

When Should You Write?

How soon after a Trauma / Emotional Upheaval?

# Recent trauma / emotional upheaval

# Present trauma / emotional upheaval

# Past trauma / emotional upheaval

# Future trauma / emotional upheaval: Is it helpful to write about the eventual death of a loved one? Or a divorce that you know is coming? Or something else in the future? Sure, why not? It’s free. But in your writing, explore why you are having the feelings and how these feelings relate to other issues in your life. Remember that the point of this writing is how we make sense of a troubling experience or event and how we incorporate that experience into the entire story of our lives.

Some Questions To Ponder Over

• Is This a Good Time in Your Life to Write?
• What’s the Best Time of Day to Write?
• Where Should You Write?
• What Technology Do You Need to Write?

Think about:

# Creating a unique environment.

# Creating a ritual for writing.

And Finally, The Flip-Out Rule

I hereby declare you ready to begin your expressive writing experience.

But before you start, it is important to review The Flip-Out Rule.

If you feel that writing about a particular topic is too much for you to handle, then do not write about it. If you know that you aren’t ready to address a particularly painful topic, then write about something else. When you are ready, then tackle the other topic. If you feel that you will flip out by writing, don’t write.

What could be simpler?

Enjoy your writing.

Tags: Book Summary,Psychology,

Chapter 1: My Roots

Index of Journals

Under the warm embrace of a June sun in 2012, I witnessed the celebration of Grandpa's 83rd birthday, marking a chapter in our family's saga. Born in 1928, he stood as a living testament to our ancestral tapestry. Amma, seven to eight years his junior, shared her roots through her UIDAI card, revealing the year 1936 as her birth year.
Allow me to take you to the narrow lanes of Gohana, a town steeped in the tales of my ancestry.
Lalu None Rai, a figure shrouded in the ambiance of the temple, graced the initial layer of our ancestry. Ganwar Lal, the second layer, led us to the intricate stories of Ugrasen Jain, Phool Chand Jain, and Maksoodan Lal, forming the third layer. Phool Chand Jain, Grandpa's father, became the linchpin, leaving behind two sons—Digamber Prasad Jain and Hem Chand Jain.
Gohana, a town near Sonepat, resonated with familial echoes. Phool Chand Jain orchestrated a setting in Tri Nagar, Delhi, in 1958, where Grandpa and Hem Chand Jain eventually settled. Their history intertwined with the tapestry of Gohana, a town that evolved from Rohtak district into a main subdivision with its own municipality.
As the tale expanded to encompass Babaji's roots, we discovered a connection to Sonepat for his mother and to Badshahpur, near Gurgaon, for Grandma's family. Amma's recollections painted a vivid picture of their relocation to Delhi in 1947 amidst the Hindu-Muslim riots during India's struggle for independence. Gohana became Amma's new home after marriage, a place where Babaji's legal practice in Delhi led to frequent visits to his familial abode.
Jainism, an invisible thread woven into the fabric of our existence, shaped Amma's religious fervor. Her early education at a Jain school imbibed in her the rituals, prayers, and beliefs, grounding her in the essence of Jainism.
The temple, a spiritual nucleus, witnessed the active involvement of Babaji's family in its management. Phool Chand Jain's journey to Ayodhya in 1950, amidst his son's battle with a serious illness, brought an orange-marble idol of Lord Mahavira to the temple, enriching its spiritual legacy.
Manu Apartments, a contemporary landmark, marked a financial odyssey from a 4 Lacs investment to a present-day value exceeding 30 million INR. The story of the apartment complex encapsulated the changing fortunes of the family over 25 years.
As the first chapter of our familial saga unfolded, Gohana stood as more than a geographic location—it was a testament to resilience, change, and the enduring spirit of our ancestry.

My Schooling and Grandparents' Years of Birth

The narrative expanded beyond my grandfather's roots in Gohana to the classrooms that shaped my early years. Born on December 18, 1991, at St. Stephens Hospital, New Delhi, my academic journey began at Municipal Corp. Gov. Primary School, transitioning to Maharaja Agrasen Public School and later Ahlcon Public School.
The chronological progression continued through high school and culminated at Northern India Engineering College, affiliated with Indraprastha University. The quest for knowledge carried me to Birla Institute of Technology and Science, Pilani, and ultimately to the metaphorical University of Hard Knocks, the College of 'survival8'.
A comprehensive list of educational milestones marked each year, encapsulating experiences, friendships, and the evolution of my academic self.
As my academic journey progressed, it unfolded independently of the distinct era encapsulating my grandparents' birth years. Digamber Prasad Jain, my grandfather, entered this world on June 12, 1929, and embarked on a lifelong journey with Darshan Mala Jain after their marriage on February 7, 1955. Grandpa's journey concluded on February 19, 2021, leaving behind a legacy that extended to the roots of our family tree.
As the pages turned, Shail Bala Jain's brief life, born on September 5, 1956, left an indelible mark despite her departure in the first standard. Viresh Chandra Jain, my father, born on November 27, 1958, added his chapter to the family story, leaving us on April 24, 2012.
The family tree expanded, weaving a tapestry of generations, births, and relationships that resonated through the corridors of time. The incomplete saga continued, leaving room for the stories yet to unfold in the generations to come.

Drop it (CH 2 from the book 'Why we meditate')

If you can’t change anything, why worry?

And if you can change something, why worry?

—TIBETAN SAYING

THE EXPLANATION BY TSOKNYI RINPOCHE

When I was growing up in Nepal and northern India in the seventies and eighties, the pace of life was not too fast. Most people felt quite grounded. Our bodies were loose, and we’d sit down for tea at any time. We smiled easily. Of course we faced plenty of challenges, like poverty and lack of opportunity, but stress and speediness were not really part of the picture.

But as these places slowly developed, the pace of life sped up. There were more and more cars on the road, and more people had jobs with deadlines and expectations. Many people had caught a whiff of middle-class life and wanted a piece of it. I noticed people starting to show signs of stress, physically and mentally. They’d fidget more, their legs quivering nervously under the table.

Their gaze was less steady—eyes darting around—and they smiled less freely.

I felt it myself too when I started working on complex projects. I’d started a multiyear initiative to preserve the texts of my lineage, and the project office was across town. I’d wake up and my mind would already be in the office. My feeling world would be hammering me, Go, go, go! Just one swipe with your toothbrush and spit! Just put the whole breakfast in your mouth, chew once, and swallow! You don’t have time for this!

On my drive across town to my office, the Kathmandu traffic was almost unbearable. Just step on the gas! Don’t worry if you bump someone—doesn’t matter! Just get there now! By the time I walked into the office, I’d feel burned- out already. I’d quickly everyone, not slowing down and taking the time to really check in. I’d want to get out of there as soon as I could.

Ducking out, I’d go somewhere, anywhere—like a coffee shop. Sitting there with nothing particular to do, I’d want to calm down but still felt anxious and restless. My whole being felt like a big buzzy lump—my body, feelings, and mind were all stressed for no reason.

But one day I decided to challenge myself. I would start to respect my body’s speed limit, its natural speed, instead of listening to the stubborn, distorted speedy energy. I said to myself, I will just do everything normally, at the right pace. Whenever I reach my office, I reach my office. I won’t let the restless energy push me.

I went through my morning relaxed, moving at a pace that suited me. I stretched in bed before getting up. I brushed my teeth properly, taking enough time to do it right. When the speedy energy tried to push me—Go faster, get there now! Grab something for breakfast and eat it in the car!—I didn’t listen.

I was respecting my body’s speed limit. Sitting down for breakfast, I chewed properly, tasting my meal. I drove at the appropriate speed, without a sense of rush. I even enjoyed the drive. Whenever the speedy energy told me to go faster —Just get there—I smiled and shook my head. In the end, I reached my office almost at the same time as before.

Walking in, I felt fresh and relaxed. The office seemed calmer and more beautiful than I remembered. I sat down and drank tea with my staff, looking each of them in the eyes and really checking in. There was no urge to leave.

Finding Our Ground

I’d like to start from the ground up. In my tradition we like building things— temples, nunneries, monasteries, stupas. Maybe it’s a compensation for our nomadic roots. In any case, our metaphors often involve construction. As any builder knows, it’s important to have a solid foundation to build on. For meditation, it’s also important to have a healthy, solid foundation to begin with.

The raw material is our bodies, minds, and feelings. We’re working with our thoughts and emotions—our happiness and sadness, our challenges and struggles. In the case of meditation, a solid foundation means we’re grounded, we’re present, we’re connected. These days, for many reasons, this can be quite tough. So I like to start my own practice, and the practice of my students, with a grounding exercise: a way to find the body, land in the body, connect to the body. The busyness of our thinking minds is seemingly endless and often leaves us feeling anxious, tired, and ungrounded. So this approach is to cut through the whirling thoughts, to bring awareness back into the body, and to just be there for a while. We are reconnecting our minds and our bodies, finding our ground.

The Technique of Dropping

Dropping is not so much a meditation as a way to temporarily cut through the tension-building stream of constant thinking, worrying, and speediness. It allows us to land in the present moment, in a grounded and embodied way. It gets us ready for meditation.

In dropping you do three things at the same time:

1. Raise your arms and then let your hands drop onto your thighs.

2. Exhale a loud, big breath.

3. Drop your awareness from thinking into what your body feels.

Learning to Relax

Relaxation is a funny thing. We all want it, but actually doing it is surprisingly difficult. We often think of relaxing as the opposite of being alert. Being alert and aware is our “on mode” where we get things done, while relaxing is a way to switch off and dim our systems down.

When we think about relaxing we might see ourselves collapsing into a couch with a remote control and becoming mindless. This relaxing into dullness gives some temporary relief but doesn’t help the root cause of the stress. The stress lingers underneath, and we end up not feeling as refreshed as we’d hoped. Dropping is a different approach to relaxing. It’s a deeper, inner relaxing, connected to our bodies and feelings, not trying to escape from them and relax somewhere else. Rather than cultivating a dull state as an antidote to stress, we are learning how to relax with awareness and address the root cause of this imbalance where we live lost in our thoughts.

For many beginners in meditation, worrisome thoughts can feel like an unconquerable obstacle—we often hear from people just starting to practice some version of “My mind is out of control. I can’t do this!” Dropping targets this universal predicament: our thoughts keep going and can overwhelm our practice.

Dropping gives us a way to clear our mind, if only for moments, so we can start again from a grounded, embodied place. Dropping breaks the tension- building stream of constant thinking, worrying, and speediness and readies us for every other meditation practice, so we begin with that.

Try These Drop-It-All Mantras

It can be helpful sometimes to use a mantra—a phrase you repeat silently to yourself —while doing this dropping practice. There are two mantras I like to use; try them each to see which works best for you. Here’s the first one: Just after your hands hit your lap, say this mantra silently to yourself, or in a whisper, over and over: “So what! Who cares? No big deal.”

This sends a message to our anxious, worrying minds. It’s a reminder to the part of our minds that cares too much—that holds everything a bit too tightly. Of course caring to the right degree is good and important, but it’s too often mixed with extra anxiety and becomes neurotic over-concern. So this mantra is an antidote for all that.

You can also try this one: “Whatever happens, happens. Whatever doesn’t happen, doesn’t happen.”

You can repeat this one over and over inside your mind, or try whispering it to yourself if that’s helpful.

This message reminds us to be with the flow of experience, instead of trying to control everything. Even though we know this intellectually, we need to remind our feeling bodies. That’s where the speediness is held; that’s where the stress accumulates. These mantras have another purpose, to strengthen communication between our cognitive minds and our feeling bodies. As we’ll explore in the next technique, this relationship can often be strained—and this can cause problems.