2011-Jun-15

Index of Journals

June 15, 2011
Our second day here at Tijara, we did prakshal and puja in the morning. I woke up on time. It was nice to sleep in cooler. We had breakfast at the sweet maker’s shop. I had pakode. We came to our rooms after this and were snoozing to blow away the tiredness. Last night I had been in the room and Ankur was able to call me while I wasn’t. Ankur had to call me to the milk man for milk. I tried Vibha’s number and that struck. Ankur has been a little upset with me since I have been treating him like a child always. I would imitate fufaji, ‘PEHELWAAN JI, PADAI HOGAI PURI’ to tease him. We had been to a temple outside the main temple complex. It was made at a distance through inside streets of this place. It looked like another ordinary temple to me. 
There is a woman here who appear to me exactly like Gareema ma’am in terms of face features. Just that this woman is a little short and thinner than the hooker bitch Gareema. I didn’t want to catch her eye but I unfortunately did and we saw each other a thousand number of times after this during our stay here. I think I saw for the first time yesterday evening. Then we would see each other all the time in the common eating place. She was married and had a stupid looking husband but I didn’t bother to take any unnecessary advantage of anything, I wanted to stay out of light, forget about limelight. It happened otherwise; she felt unsafe and would occasionally look for me. That was sick. I think she has the exact face of Gareema ma’am. She, too, is hot. It was good to have Srishti and Shruti around because it would reflect my general attitude towards women. Presence of Srishti next to me would make me feel a little better; otherwise today the woman family had started to take the notice of me. It was now that I also got know her family, just the husband and mother-in-law. Srishti helped him take his eye off of me soon and helped me not to present a negative image at first sight.
In the afternoon babaji told me a story, it was just babaji, amma, and me in the room. It was an excerpt from Ramayana from the time Sita was pregnant and was sent to the woods. The moral of the story was that I can’t remember. It felt good to hear a story from babaji with amma correcting him from time to time. We had to go to the temple but there was paath going on there on the loud speaker. It was specially arranged by someone from Kanpur; it was the same person who had arranged the food for free everybody. We didn’t have to pay for food anytime, henceforth. They just postponed the plans of badi buaji, Srishti and Shruti to read chalisa forty times. Amma too wanted to spend time at the temple. The paath ran for three hours from two to five. 
In the evening, after saying arti at the main temple we went to the big idol made in the centre of a park and beautiful greenery. It was about 25 feet high and equal wide from knee to knee in sitting pose. The place is very beautiful. After going through the all the twenty four idols, Ankur, Prashant and I sat in the lawns. Shruti and Srishti were roaming around the place. There came a cop dressed like a civilian. He talked to Ankur about him being fat. It was a very normal talk. I felt bothered by it, I felt as if that cop was informed of us and he was just checking us there. After few minutes call came from Shruti and Srishti. 
When we returned to the main temple complex, Shruti and Srishti were showing interest in the babies, the toddlers who had come to the place. I was not interested in any but tried to show interest to spend a little time with them. We even talked to the mother of one on the temple’s periphery. 
I am very annoyed by that spider hanging from the wall near my pillow. I wondered myself hitting my hand on it in sleep and getting bitten. I hate insects and want to move it but I am not since it is a matter of just one night. I continued reading ‘Accidental Billionaires’ after a long time before going to sleep. It felt good; I am still in love with all of its characters. The spider was gone in the morning after staying there for more than a day.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-14

Index of Journals

June 14, 2011
I had night fall in the morning. God that sucks! I was awake around 0500 and others had already woken up. There was rush in the house. Badi buaji was making noise to wake Ankur up who had got down only after 0130 last night after talking to Prashant. I was awake and studying math, I was studying because there was nothing I could have done with Prashant and Ankur talking, and I can’t hear Prashant talk, he is still stupid no matter what. I had given his 19000 rank pretty much thought and I couldn’t find it impressive enough to make me feel unwell mentally. He is like one in every fifteen where I was one-in-every-ten. So what if on finding three like me you would have already found two like him. I was cleaning my notes for my last JEE preparation from the behind amma’s bed and I read out the study plan I had formulated for being one in fifty or one in hundred. It still sounded impressive and I was ready to give it a try. I am back again on the same track.
I somehow learned that my knickers were wet. I rushed to the room and there it was the wet patch on the bed sheet. Holy shit, I was taken aback for a second and but then we were leaving the place anyway. It was really feeling bad inside. I left the bed wet with my pull-over lying around it for not making it catch everybody’s attention.
I didn’t bath, nor did many others unlike how it was planned last night. There was no time left. Babaji was already ready to go and now it was us left behind. I didn’t bath and asked to pull over the same shorts which I wear most of the time at home. Babaji didn’t approve of it. I changed to jeans and we were ready to go. Badi buaji was making fuss about that small bag I was carrying with me, before leaving the house she put that Mazaa bottle filled with water in my bag. That was crazy. I couldn’t have said anything. 
We all jammed into SX4 and chachi drove us to the bus stop. I was quiet most of the time, I had to be quiet. Shruti has been unnecessarily rude to me like she owes me something. I sat on the window seat with Srishti on my left and Shruti on her left. The bus ride was easy, as we got the seats early and near the front. I had spent too much time loading my phone with songs but I never pulled out my ear phones. I read DS book instead. I was watching the women who were passing by, through the window on either side and in the bus, which was crazy. I am very different from the usual; I caught the eye of bus driver from the mirrors that were arranged above his head. I don’t know what I was looking for but it wasn’t probably a woman thing then. I sent a negative impression by my weird way of living. Women would always catch my eye first, and then the people in her vicinity. We had once gone to down to drink sugarcane juice and otherwise the ride was smooth. Last part was the auto ride when there was music and Ankur whistled through the way with the loud music in our ears. It wasn’t loud in terms of genre.

We got rooms with coolers. We settled fast. Babaji wanted the room downstairs but there were no cooler there. The first day wasn’t very far from the usual. Badi buaji would always be in her loud voice so there is nothing to write any new about her. Ankur, Prashant, babaji and I slept in one room and the ladies in the other. We got rooms side by side so it was easy to communicate. 
I listened to music before going to bed to prevent myself from the stupid talks of Ankur and Prashant. I wasn’t actually in the mood to listen to music but it was just out of utter formality to give my ear phones a chance since I had brought them here. Plus, I was thinking about my inclination for women, awful inclination.
God bless me
Ashish

/* NEPALI MATHERC**D AGAR TERI VAJAH SE PRASHANT OR MERE BEECH LADAI HUI TOH APNI MAA KO MUJHSE CH**NE SE BACHA LIYO */ A text message sent to Appu last year. I deleted lately, it is a master piece in its own.

2011-Jun-13

Index of Journals

June 13, 2011
It was fine. I got tired after doing math whole day yesterday. I was sleeping in the afternoon and I know that was out of time table but I couldn’t resist. I need to fit myself in real life situations. I need to be realistic in plans to achieve success without frequent failures. 
I loaded my phone with songs because we are going to Tijara for three days and I don’t know how it is going to be with me and family there. I will also carry my book, DS. I haven’t studied much today and I need to get back to math right away. We will leave at around five in the morning. I will right entries on phone there. 
Vibha texted in the evening to ask me 'where I was going', and also wished me happy journey. I am glad she is back.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-12

Index of Journals

June 12, 2011
The day was normal as it can be, I was studying math whole day to the limit that I was tired and bored by it. I was thinking of what others might be doing, I don’t want to miss anything. Sonam is never answering like a friend rather like she is doing me a big favor by answering me. She would sound like a robot who can’t tell anything without a proper input first. She has nothing to tell me, nor would she answer if I ask her something like Srishti Jain’s number. I needed to contact her to ask if she could arrange the notes of the teacher from the junior batch. Sonam didn’t help rather she flipped on the thing that I asked her if she knew anyone from the junior batch. I asked Vibha ‘how was she’ around the same time and asked her what she was doing. She said she was reading a novel. I told Sonam this to communicate and otherwise I had no interest in knowing what Vibha was doing. She had sent “F9.” After about 30 minutes and to the next question she had again sent one word answer ‘novel’. Sonam would watch TV and rest whole day. After another word she had written she was going for dinner so would talk to me later. She makes terrible mistakes in English, especially in question when she place subject before the verb.
Vibha is a real loser; it was just a week ago that she had broken up with me and today she fucking sounds back again.
I cleaned my closet in bed in amma’s room to make space for engineering books that I wouldn’t use. I had to throw away the notebooks and notes in which I had made while preparing for the JEE the second time. It didn’t feel bad as it should have been.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-11

Index of Journals

June 11, 2011
When I was at badi buaji’s place my phone started to malfunction. I think it’s because I had dropped it a few times, and then I also had to keep it in the bag which itself was never kept in particular place. The ‘walkman’ shortcut key had stopped working months back, now it is the music-keys-lock that stopped working with permanent lock on the flap buttons. I noticed that even camera was producing bad quality colors and decreased picture quality. 
Badi buaji isn’t as good as she would about being religious. She had washed my t-shirts and she let my white t-shirt remain under surf-water with other clothes of mine. The color of the t-shirt wasn’t white anymore, it is yellow now. The yellow check shirt owed it’s generosity on the t-shirt. It was badi buaji’s carelessness that I have lost my one good t-shirt which I have been wearing since many years now. She made it sure that I don’t revile about it; she hung one of Ankur’s white t-shirt (non-collared) to dry with the clothes of mine. She could now point to the white t-shirt of Ankur to say that fault was in my cloth that it absorbed color otherwise Ankur’s t-shirt is still white, guess what she hadn’t even washed it along with my clothes.
Not just this, yesterday I was looking for the packet of hangers which I had brought with myself here. She mixed those hangers with the hangers of self and then handed the distorted pieces to me. That was wrong; I didn’t have that many distorted pieces. I couldn’t have made that an issue. I didn’t want to be in any issue with anyone, like I already had less. 
Another thing, there was a shortage of electricity plugs in buaji’s house.
During OS exam Parul had helped me with RTOS question worth 2.5 marks, I couldn’t believe I was missing Real Time Operating Systems question. I was feeling thankful for her. 
Amogh types for Oxford publication to earn some money in these summers. That was great, inspiring actually. 
My entry over here is done, I came to grandpa’s room to wash my face after afternoon nap and when he commented on that, I showed him hand to stop and left. I was talking to Anu and she doesn’t feel good about Prashant getting anything better than what he looks like. He must have got 19000 in AIEEE because he deserved it; I don’t know why I or anyone else would have a problem with that even when there is no competition between us.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-10

Index of Journals

June 10, 2011
I moved from badi buaji’s house back to Mayur Vihar. I was not told about this day but it happened. In the morning buaji ask me to take me to the temple and right after coming back she disclosed the news to me. I was not happy or sad; I was doing my work (scanning question papers) and making plans to start with Math. This CS1E group was giving me a lot of tension and I had been a real trouble for these people as well. I don’t have to be sad being deleted because they weren’t making big deals inside the group just that the deals they were making I was getting to know those at least. 
I got ready around 1130 and when Ankur saw me packing up bags he informed buaji about it. Buaji called me and asked if I wanted anything. I asked her for calculator. She sent Kapil bhaiya and me to get it from a shopkeeper Kapil bhaiya knew about. In hurry the sick shopkeeper packed the low priced model in the box of high priced model (the one I had chosen) and handed it to us. That was sick. When I learnt about it at home, I told buaji and she would now get it replaced later. 
I hadn’t got any message since morning from anyone, I wanted to talk to Sonam or may be receive a text from Vibha but that didn’t happen. I got message from Vibha in the morning but then she broke off on an abrupt note like she owned me, what the hell was that? I couldn’t have said anything. I am paying back for my mistake; I still don’t think that was really a big issue.
I brought the books of fufaji which I had liked and I am happy to have them. I slept in the late afternoon when Manju buaji and badi buaji left. I went to get a haircut and shave and while returning I met with Harshit and soon Hardik came to jump in my way. We strolled and then sat for a while until it was time for Hardik to go. It was fun, I loved being with them. I counted my balance and it came out to be 6900R plus 95R change. That set my mood up, I am happy for the first time since fifth of June. I talked to Rekha buaji and she told me that she would be coming to India in winters this year. She told me about Sameer who was did Introduction to Computers (ITC) and was now doing Introduction to Programming (ITP) and Object Oriented Programming (OOPS) as summer activity.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-9

Index of Journals

June 9, 2011
I came back home around 1330. I wasn’t prepared very well for the exam, I had to wake up early around 0445 but it went on to become 0700. I wasn’t nervous by the way Manish showed himself up, so silly. I was studying my own selected topics and I didn’t know what Manish was reading, he had said he wasn’t prepared for the exam. Actually, he was and I wasn’t, I learned in the examination hall. The question paper didn’t have resume or CV. I was banking on that topic. I knew little about what they asked in unit 4, about GD, though I had given that topic good amount of time. I knew nothing in the first question I was sitting idly for the first half an hour. I started by looking here and there and by collecting few ideas of what to write. It was the unknown person on my left whose paper I was able to see to write two units, the first and the second. Sir didn’t say anything though he obviously knew, it was happening. I did unit third myself, it was transcription and I knew that. Before I could do fourth unit, Banga poked from behind for help and in order to show him, sir moved me to one of those first seats. I had to pull up unit-4 myself, hell.
I think had I been given enough marks in internals I would have passed this exam but unlucky me. I am skeptical about saying anything, whether or not my paper goes well by the help of luck, marks. I just realized that Manish who had to help me actually didn’t, though he took mine. He sat in between me and the rest of CSE students, closing all doors of help for me. I was lucky to have the EEE guy by my side. He was intelligent by the way of his answers. Manish is a bastard.
I came home with Vibha on my mind. I purchased message card to contact her and to ask her for a date but she was adamant about not talking to me. I was pissing so much inside first time for woman again after it had been over with Sonal. I didn’t try to pull it too long after we exchanged about 11 messages (six by me and five from her) in a time span of about one and a half hour in which she made it clear three times that she knew mw very well and I should not hold any hopes anymore.
I contacted Sonam right after and she seems to be friendly, my heart was light hearted again after that. I went to Facebook and there were still many CS1E students whom I can catch online. My friends reduced from 97 to 95. It was 102 at 1900, 5th June. I was talking to Sonam, Anubhav about Vibha and what I had planned ahead. We were not friends anymore I declared to them all. I had texted ‘I want to have sex’ to Gurarchi and she also contacted later after about an hour of wait. I downloaded photos of Vibha, in case there is an emergency for me to take revenge. 
Soon after I was talking to Gurarchi, and the conversation with Ravi was going on, buaji called out for dinner monstrously. I had call it over with both of them, hell. It was awkward, way to awkward in case of Gurarchi, whom I never contacted since many months thoughshe kept texting without getting an answer ever.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-8

Index of Journals

June 8, 2011
The OS exam went fine. The exam was delayed by 50 minutes and after that we got photocopies to work with. In those 50 minutes I learned about the spread of the news about the deleted wall post of mine. It is already news, though I have been removed from CS1E. Arushi Jain, Apurv, Nishant were asking about it. I myself told about this to Arun who sits right in front of me, and is a help during the exam. I had reached the college gate early to get along with others before Vibha comes around. Aditya Mohan showed sympathy over what happened, Gaurav Sati too, there are still people who assure me that they will add me soon, Apurv and Gaurav Gupta. Ravi was ignoring me in the beginning but then he was just friendly again. It felt better to see the people not showing hatred like I saw on internet that night. On the day of CG exam, Kriti Bahl was giving me that look with big eyes like somebody gave a fuck.
The question paper seemed like from out-of-the-book topics. There were no numerical questions unlike all times and the theory scared everyone at first site. They had asked to write short note on Windows 7, funny. I got to carry on with paper with time and felt comfortable as the time passed, Arun found difficulty in a numerical. I knew how to do it but I confused myself with the wrong name ‘FCFS’ instead of ‘SCAN’ for it and I told FCFS to Arun, I was feeling extremely guilty for this.
I slept though I had to be awake to study. I couldn’t go with the pace I had to go with to do English. I was feeling sick because of sleeping on this distorted bed of Ankur. I ate food around 2130 and put the fruits in the fridge. It was around 2330 that Vibha called to waste 20 minutes of mine, she flipped out on me. Her voice was so stiff, I was hearing for the first time and she sounded like ending this relationship. She rebuked me for everything, she threatened me to get me beaten up by Akash Rajpoot and she also said that had I written it about Shruti B, I wouldn’t have dared to come to write the exam the next day. I knew inside that it was totally true but still I felt bad when she said it. She said that she felt pity for my mother and sister, and my whole family. She called me unsociable, and that I was dangerous for whoever was friendly with me. She referred to Sonam, Dhanraj, and Manish while saying that these people had informed her about the risk she was taking by going after me. They say I am nymphomaniac. She said I really jeopardized her performance in the exams CG and OS.
I couldn’t concentrate after this, in the room Ankur and Shruti were playing with Jabru and it was really getting late. I went to Shruti’s room and studied until 0045, and then I went to sleep. I had tried calling Vibha three times at 0030 and then again at 0130, when I couldn’t catch sleep. I had called Ravi to share my plan about going on group date with him, Vibha, and Sonam, but he was going to bed at that moment so I just said good night.
I haven’t done anything more than transcription for the exam tomorrow.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-7

Index of Journals

June 7, 2011

I had to do Operating Systems (OS); it was not a great relief that I had completed half the course in days before CG because an equal amount of course was still left. I did it by the time it was night, slow and steady, may be. I also guessed how much work will have to be done for English exam.
There are times when I would just think about what I had done on the night of the fifth, and then what CS1 did to me. I felt like downloading the images of these people down from the Facebook and put it as video for a Hindi R rated song, for example, 'TERI G*ND MEIN DANDA RE'. It is really a nice idea to close the doors of the CS1E forever for myself. It was just this idea that I was roaming around in the room for a second and badi buaji came to taunt for not studying, god!
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-6

Index of Journals

June 6, 2011

I feared of any consequences from what happened yesterday. I went to a corner place to revise my subject in the morning. I met with section S2 students, Shashi Raja who seemed to be friendly and his other friends. The exam went better than fine, I found the paper easy. I had wished Sonam for her birthday, and also asked to say sorry to Vibha. Last night around, 1am Kriti Bahl had called me 'CH**IYA’ on comments. It was not enough for me to remove the post but then I thought of Vibha and finally removed it.
I came home and slept. Buaji was asking me about plans for returning back home. While I was sleeping I had been contacted by Sonam, and she wanted me to put public apology post on Facebook, and to also contact Vibha directly.
Ankur is not interested in making any contact with me. That’s seriously ill. I have been removed from CS1E, which was way too surprising. I can still feel adrenaline rush inside me. Dinesh can’t do that. Last night my friend count had come down from 102 to 99 and then now it is 97, I hope it will go down.
It is that perfect moment for which I had always been waiting, I am universally hated.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-5

Index of Journals

June 5, 2011
    
It was Baba Ramdev all over the news yesterday. His speeches, his wishes, the topics which he discussed, black money, corruption, and everything that this country has. Badi buaji watched television at ear bursting volume. She has this small television of the dimensions of my forearm, and the noise that it creates has no dimensions. I went down to avoid adrenaline production inside of me by this blood boiling news that was coming. The atrocity that government showed by sending cops and moving the peacefully sleeping people by the full use of their power. A non violent movement’s meeting spot turned into butcher house by Delhi police. 
I posted ‘Fuck the government, let righteousness win, let baba Ramdev win’, changed my display picture to one of those Ramdev’s, and created an album to post two of his movement’s photos. As a matter of fact I was listening to Eminem’s ‘way I am’ for a while before logging on to Facebook.
I couldn’t concentrate that was the thing that was eating me. I went up around eleven to bath and fresh, I pushing through the day with regular jobs. It was around lunch time that badi buaji came to me to disclose Prxnt’s AIEEE result. He got around 1700 in state and 19000 in country, that’s really surprising from him. I didn’t know how to react, I wasn’t finding philosophies and logics to fit me into the situation and help me deal with the situation. I couldn’t help myself with it; it was all over my mind, the Ramdev, the AIEEE result.
I was getting too much worried due to still remaining course in CG and then all this trouble through the day. I went down logged on to Facebook and brain ran. I manipulated a wall post of Vibha to my advantage. I wrote, “While performing, Vibha said, “Sex is damn simple, but we insist on making it complicated,” I told her, “Life is damn simple, but we insist on making it complicated,” and she put that up as her wall post.”
Abhinav Choudhary of S2 came up to comment and ‘like’ in my post, we went on to discussing basics of sex, foreplay, and how it compares with life. It was really insisting to read everything written under that post. Ravi was online, I made him read the post, and his first reaction came, “OMG” as usual for every post by me. He asked me to remove that post right away, but I wished I was listening. Vibha started texting, and calling. I got calls from Dhanraj, he even called at home. I was afraid when Anu had called back on badi buaji’s phone to get to me, I thanked god that it was Anu. The post had collected comments at the speed of one-comment-every-hour. People were abusing me, threatening me publicly and on messages. I learned that Vibha had removed me from her friends. I wasn’t worried a bit for her; it was the other people Akash Rajpoot, Dhanraj who were making me tense by threatening me. Abhishek Shukla had showed disliking. By the time it was night, there was comment ‘Ashish PAGAL SALA’ by Anil Goel. I had done my best to keep the phone in the setting that was least disturbing from time to time. It was feeling really tense for the exam, and then I thought of Vibha, I pictured her breaking down by all what I had done, and messing up her exam. I called to know what was going on with, I had called to calm her and myself down, but that stiff tone was way too much. She was showing me attitude, what the hell man, and she then informed me that she even removed me from her friends like I didn’t know or I was giving a fuck to what she says. My balance came down from 20.232R to something like ten, which sucks. Internet on phone had started to work, and it was really helpful in keeping me up to date with the happenings under my post.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-Jun-4

Index of Journals

June 4, 2011

It was going to be normal but it had never happened with me that let me stay on the top, and then I’d not take a risk to look down and just get pulled down. Manju buaji was to visit us today, she came by 1330. I was napping until then; it was because of the tiredness that had accumulated because of waking up early in the morning at 0400 when fufaji put off the cooler. I had a lot to do, I only got over with OS by the evening and this day was actually for CG. Mother of god come and bless me!  Babaji sent Rs 500 for me, that was good, but it only made me feel uncomfortable, pushing me to act more responsibly. 
I was way too nervous about taking up CG, I was started with t anew topic which I had to finish in an hour or so, but it didn’t get over by the time I slept dead. I was sitting downstairs on the computer to relax but guess I was wrong.
Ankur is showing way too much attitude, what is wrong with this douchebag. Is it that now he is not talking to Puja, or what, why would it be Shruti then? Shruti would continue to speak ill until he would give up and do what buaji and Shruti wishes him to. Last night I had fill cooler because this idiot is not in any mood to make it any comfortable for me, another Prashant is born.

God bless me
Ashish 

2011-Jun-1

Index of Journals

June 1, 2011

I had to do start CS syllabus, I was snoozing around in the house until 1100 when thought to start studying. I was feeling so tired in my body. I had to find something to motivate myself to sit up and give the books a look. I couldn’t have studied from book so I thought to just go through the notes in hurry. Plus, it was only today that Shruti had to take me to the temple. These people are so out of their mind and not forgetting the way Shruti would keep talking all the time, there is a serious change in her so suddenly.
The other day I stayed awake just to talk to her, I am so inclined towards not mising a chance to get with girls, any girl. She would talk about her grand mother who is reallly a bitch to her, and how she has been spoiling her parents’ lives.
In the afternoon buaji took us, children, out for lunch with Kapil bhaiya (one of her client and contact) as guest. I didn’t know there was a place like Chawri Bazar in Delhi, the buidlings were mostly 150 to 200 years old, and the illegal constructed balcony from every building was a must watch thing. Then we went to a shop where Ankur had to shop cloth for himself. It was getting late and I was really getting worried by now. Shruti and I came home around 1500 and thoug I didn’t want ot sleep I slept for two hours. I woke up and started studying, holy shit. I had started to get the nightmares of flunking the exam. I pulled up as much as I could, around 0000 buaji put the light off of the room where three of us were lying. It was sick, I waited for about half and hour and then turned the lights on to study. It was all windy outside, heavy door bangning monsoon winds were blowing. I studied until five and then I just got to take some rest irresistably until 0630. Fear was still looming over head.
I had got missed call notification from amma when my phone was switched off.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-30

Index of Journals

May 30, 2011

I had three days to prepare for DCS and also catch up a little bit with CS, but I barely made any use of this time, I would over sleep and download movies, sex chat, everything to everything but not study. The day had been crazy with me trying to catch up with DCS. I had no option left but to miss some of the topics, and I did nothing extra other than a few topics which are occasionally discussed in the exam. (And as a matter of fact, the paper was very easy and very choosy. I chose to do questions from the first five chapters and the questions were pretty easy. Also because of not enough preparation I was very nervous before the exam and I had forgotten everything from new topics I had studied in these three days gap, which was really shameful.)
I by the end of the day managed to put my self up for revision but that barely happened. It was eleven when I chose to sleep and wake up at four in the morning. It was seven when I woke up next day and I had to start revision in the Metro, and buaji would keep telling me to aim for 100 percent.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-29

Index of Journals

May 29, 2011

I went to temple today. I wasn’t going to go on my own; it was buaji who took me to Birla temple.
I had been sitting downstairs to study DCS and buaji first started with rebuking me for going down right in the morning and then continued with her plans to go to temple. Ankur had been there when I left the office and then he left the doors opened, badi buaji was questioning me about this, I told her it was Ankur sitting there. It was not just this that such a scene had happened; very often she would question me for wrong doings of Shruti and Ankur. Yesterday there was a glass and bowl kept in the corner of the room and buaji started asking me about them in my name. Then she would keep a check on me, which is understandable as I don’t have a clean image anywhere.
I was adding friends on Facebook and it now blocked my requests and messages to non-friend people for four days. That’s funny, and then I posted about Gareema ma’am. Vibha had super-disliked it in comments and Ravi had flipped out after reading this, funny!

***JOB VACANCY***Lecturer for CS Department
If you are a brunette who can excessively roll her tongue to bear an out-of-the-world accent, can keep HOD/Dean/Director (whoever is male) happy bi-weekly then you get a direct pass for being a lecturer at NIEC, New Delhi. ***You now know how Gareema SETHI became a teacher, HAA-HAA***

Aditya Gupta: HAHAHAHA, first line had me in splits!!!! awesome

God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-28

Index of Journals

May 28, 2011

The day was fine. In the morning fufaji was screaming that opened my eyes. He is into Ankur every morning, he keeps telling him to study, buaji keeps telling him to do homely work and for his fatness, Shruti keeps telling him about his fatness, and I tell him to stop thinking about Puja, his phony girlfriend. 
I had to wake up at 4am adter going to bed early but that didn’t happen. I was napping again in the morning after breakfast, I mean I was scanning question papers in the morning, and theni washed my undergarments, it was all tiring. I had to sleep for three hours or so, as it happened. Buaji talked about this right after, she had started to tell me about studying and scoring these days. Something is wrong.
I need to give attention to my books other than computer stuff al the time, downloading torrents, wikipedia pages, etc.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-27

Index of Journals

May 27, 2011

The exam (ADA) went fine, I don’t know; I flunked ITC of first semester, C of second semester, and DS of third semester. All of them core computer subjects. It is unbelievable. I am skeptical about commenting on my marks henceforth. Badi buaji asked me to estimate marks and I rounded up to 60. That doesn’t sound very reasonable seeing my previous performances. I would not flunk because I got 21 in internals this much I am sure about; special thanks to Prashant sir for that reason. I was talking to Vibha and then to Sonam, Sonam ignores me sometimes because I use only English while talking. 
I was watching Die Hard 4 on notebook and badi buaji came and lectured me over watching movies in this high time for exams, she was very right, but I couldn’t control myself. After she had lectured me she went somewhere for hours and I continued watching the awesome movie with fear. The movie was extremely good.
In the lunch buaji had ordered food from outside, I ate noodles and Shruti had sambar-vada. It was good.
Badi buaji is getting strict about my habit of spending time on computer and she now wants me to concentrate on exams and come as number one, the last clause is a total joke!

God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-26

Index of Journals

May 26, 2011

The day was fine. I went downstairs to check emails from Playboy and it was the first time that buaji asked about what I was doing. It didn’t become an issue. I was sleeping for three hours right after having heavy breakfast, I didn’t ask for the fourth bread but it happened to me.
I was studying until six in the evening and then I went down and couldn’t get away with computer after that, it is about to be nine now.
I am not giving the back papers and it is really a big relief. Elders don’t know about it formally. I just hope that everything goes well.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-25

Index of Journals

May 25, 2011
The exam was fine; actually, the paper had been leaked. Abhishek Shukla came late around 0945 to disclose the questions to us. I was sitting with Dinesh at that moment. The questions paper had questions from the topics which Shukla had disclosed. I was feeling lucky for having been comfortable in writing the exam. It wasn’t difficult, whatever might its level be.
I was sleeping in the afternoon after watching Playboy video I had put on downloading yesterday. It is awesome. I woke up around 1830 to talk to Vibha, and she spared me after an hour of little questioning. She was ignoring me in the morning before her friends, she always does that. I am just giving her little importance because of Sonam, nothing else.
I have been killing little insects for quite some time now, which includes spiders, bees, mosquitoes, flies, and all. I don’t think they, the insects, really have to be alive for the human life to keep going. 
IITJEE result declared but no news from Mayur Vihar, you surely know what that mean. I learned about the result declaration on internet while chatting.
God bless me
Ashish

2011-May-24

Index of Journals

May 24, 2011

I was napping through the day, fufaji is really a mess when he comes and puts off cooler at around 0430 in the morning. That is not sad but way more than that. I was awake around 0400 in the morning after going through night-fall. That virtual experience of having sex with a busty blonde with her back against the wall was really awesome. It was also a reason for the tiredness that persisted in my body until afternoon. The friend of fufaji suggested Shruti to become a teacher after doing honors in English. I was tired again in the afternoon and just passed the time in changing places to feel comfortable. It was really scary, I didn't cover ADA as much as I had thought, the thought dropping down the subject revitalizing enough but I didn't make proper use of it. By evening I had dropped a lot of things off my to-do list, at night I was thinking of taking a short nap around 2330 but then I stretched out to hours. Vibha wanted to talk yesterday evening but I did not bother to answer.
Plus most of the times it is only porno on my mind, American pie, Playboy, and all. I have put one on downloading and it is just those videos which are a part of my attention and time table.
God bless me
Ashish